A Touch of Encouragement

Martha,
Could I please get a copy of this letter too? It would be greatly appreciated.
Julie

Can I also have both letters emailed to me.
THANKS!

can you send me a hard copy of this another letter to college kid 8/26/08

hello:

I couldn't help to read few of your suggestions about "kids" going to colleges.
We had a wonderful "kid", a son who was really unusual in ways that others didn't feel
he was too popular. Our son was raised by his Mom in many ways in the way they raise children in Europe, as that's where she is from.
It was not entirely different from our ways except she did not agree he spent over-nights, or felts that he should not focus on sports to get to college but on learning.
It wasn't easy because our son was also dyslexic, but he was also perseverantive in almost all he put his mind to.
After his first year in a college/university (which was too much for us financially), he changed to a different "university" and discovered only for a short time fraternity.
Although he knew it was not for him, the promises of friendships were too tempting.
He had never used drugs or alcohol, neither smoke. But after a brief time there, he started to smoke, and was very unhappy...he still didn't drink or do drugs (and his Mom is disabled and has around opiates, etc.)
He didn't know how to get out of the fraternity esp. since it was the most popular on the campus and started to literally dreive 100 miles each way, to the point he had even an accident.
After 1.5 years, his almost 3.8 GPA was down under 2.0 or perhaps less but that was due to the dpt. he chose as his major and where he couldn't even find a soul to become his advisor! He was twice reprimanded to the full extend from something he was too proud to ever even consider and though those who did were not trying enough: the main reason was his dyslexia and the fact that his mother was spending time with him to study: the judgmenet of the person/instructor was that she wrote is papers although that was far from the truth. He responded, but was not given time until the next semester when we all drove there, were assured by the acting head of the dpt that "no problem" I will sign this or that" - and when within a week another paper was due, he was immediatelly called in (the instructor had no time to read his notes for the first draft!)- yet she was yeling at him lies that his mother called her and admitted to her she wrote this paper for him. He knew that was not true, but when refrused to admit to that and be allowedx to get 1/2 grade and re-do all, he ferused sayinhe has right there too many notes to prove she was not right. She didn't look, thre his notes all over the floor.
Our son left, suicidal, fortunately drove home...but when the dean sent a letter dismissing him from any university studies, he committed suicide.
He wrote to us how sorry he is and that he never did anything wrong, and please to forget ihe caused his Mom too many hours to spend with him while he was seen by all as only "dumm" He was extremely bright, spoke several languages, justn took more time to read. Why ths school got away with it I still don't know, but I do know we both are frozen and I wonder whether there is any way to make certain these instructors and fraternity (which was participant in the scheme - even inviting these young female instructors to their parties,etc)..this cannot be left without being taken to the university (a small place in the middle of nowhere - moms/paps type of schooling which we believed was geared toward learning disabilities (it was not, he did not want to go to a special class where they (young female students) were giggling when shooowing the disabled how to read...and they had nobody to offer in his major except a female from his class!) This was supposed to be an information that only instructor he shared it with were supposed to know about it. But the reality was different and soon nobody wanted to be around the "dummy" (which didn't include just him but others too). I do feel this should even after 2 years when we lost our lives, our future, and all we worked for...
for what? our excellentsxchooling system= they copntinue sending to us billing inquiries although he left after two or three weeks of the semester and never went back, was hospitalized, all that was crafteddifferently and without a lawyer (which was the only advise by the provost given to us!) we left and hoped that our son would continue elsewhere...but he didn't believe any college is different anymore, his pain was too deep.
Unfortunately, he didn't realize how horrible is our life without him..
What is your suggestion? I do hope you would know of an overseeing agency that would be able to help us? Thank you. Sorry for grammar mistakes.

My niece and nephew and sisters and brothers appreciated me for encouraging them to go to college. But i appreciated them too for giving me their true caring and love, so now at least i know who care for me. They asked me to call them when i need them and they are just a phone call away, but likewise. They can call me when they need someone to listen to them too, they are too silly at times..

May god bless them well in their journey.

My God! You've said it all; and the comments as well. I'm going to forward this to my sisters and nephew and niece. You've verbalized what I already knew but needed to hear/read. I'm also going to apologize to my nephew, and let him know that he don't have to call me unless he wants to, and that I'm only a phone call away, and that I'll always be there for him. My nephew went away to college, and each and every one of us males, and females smothered him, out of love and paranoia. As the college told us the umbilical cord
cuts here. So I'll release him into the capable hands of God and himself. I'm proud of him for maturing, but was scared to let go. Thank you.

No matter how old you are if you live at home, with your parents, you still get those questions. Are you going to wear that? It gets old in a hurry. In my case my Mom had to know where I am at all times, when when I'm in the house and I'm 42-years-old.

They wonder why I act so immature and yet they treat me like I'm still a 10-year-old. They even insist that I sit with them at church. One of the bad things about it is I'm unable to drive or work so unless Dad takes me somewhere I'm stuck at home.

Elethia