A Moment of Change

Thank you for visiting The Celebrity Therapist. This blog is no longer being updated. Please enjoy the archives. Here are some other blogs you may also enjoy:

The Celebrity Therapist

Happy Reading!

Admitting you have an addiction is never easy and if you backslide it is always difficult to face family, friends as well as yourself. Now imagine you are a celebrity with millions of people watching your every move just waiting for you to make a mistake. Imagine the pressure, the stress and the very real feeling that you are always being watched.  If you read the blogs online, go to TMZ or even listen to the evening news you may assume that all celebrities fail in their endeavor to remain sober. However, reality couldn’t be further from this myth.

Interestingly one the most successful celebrity long term recovery success stories is by actor Martin Sheen. This is particularly interesting since he is father to the infamous Charlie Sheen. Charlie Sheen’s addiction problems have long been fuel for the media and, in some ways, it seems to have become his identity. Making the commitment to lead a sober life isn’t easy and it does mean making changes, which can be difficult in the celebrity lifestyle.

Other major stars that have overcome their addictions and have lead clean and sober lives include Robin Williams, Elton John, Drew Barrymore, Jamie Lee Curtis, Nicole Richie and Robert Downey Jr. All of these people list specific factors that help them focus on a clean lifestyle including spouses, children, spirituality, life balance, faith, Alcoholics Anonymous, or a specific career goal. In other words they were able to find a way to bring positive energy and experiences in their life that was important and meaningful to them as individuals. Finding that anchor or support system within their lives was also important; just as it is for everyone in recovery. Being able to set goals, including relationship and self-improvement goals, is one of the essential elements in working through and into and successful recovery no matter how famous you may be.

Sherry Gaba LCSW, Psychotherapist, Life & Recovery Coach is featured Celebrity Rehab on VH1. Sherry is the author of  The Law of Sobriety which uses the law of attraction to recover from any addiction. Please download your Free EBooks from Sherry™s Enrich Your Life Series. Contact Sherry at sherry@sgabatherapy.com for webinars, teleseminars, coaching packages and speaking engagements. Listen to Sherry on A Moment of Change with Sherry Gaba on CBS.

In a healthy partnership both people are equals in the relationship. This doesn’t mean that one partner doesn’t make decisions on his or her own about some things, or that perhaps one partner takes control of specific aspects of the relationship. However, what it does mean is that they both value each other as people, as partners, and as equals within the relationship. No one is the “leader” no one is the “boss” and no one is the “all powerful”.

In an unhealthy relationship this balance is simply not there. One person is all powerful and makes all decisions. The other partner spends every waking moment trying desperately to keep the leader happy. This includes trying to divine just what it is that the leader wants; even though these wants seems to keep constantly changing. To counter that, the leader is willfully blind to the efforts of the other partner and constantly finds ways to degrade, embarrass and humiliate them. In this type of relationship there is no balance, no equality and no true love.

One of the most important ways that people in unequal relationships can seek help is to work with an addiction therapist. This is because this relationship is based on an addiction to love, to the relationship and to a very unhealthy dynamic. The abuse, which is often physical but always emotional, spiritual and mental, is devastating to a sense of self-esteem, self-worth and self-pride. Being able to learn how this relationship has become so one sided and making the decision to get away from the problem is critical to moving forward in life. People that are in unequal relationships can learn to have a healthy, balanced and equal relationship and can find a partner that will value, love and care for them in mutually respectful way.

Sherry Gaba LCSW, Psychotherapist, Life & Recovery Coach is featured Celebrity Rehab on VH1. Sherry is the author of  The Law of Sobriety which uses the law of attraction to recover from any addiction. Please download your Free EBooks from Sherry™s Enrich Your Life Series. Contact Sherry at sherry@sgabatherapy.com for webinars, teleseminars, coaching packages and speaking engagements. Listen to Sherry on A Moment of Change with Sherry Gaba on CBS.

As a whole, people are their own worst enemies when it comes to changing their behaviors and thoughts. We constantly reinforce areas that we feel are weaknesses, going over and over these events as we try to sleep. We may also be constantly bombarded with other people’s negative thoughts about our behaviors and choices. For people with addictions, this constant stream of negativity from self and others can block all the possibilities of positive change.

I have addressed this issue in my book The Law Of Sobriety in talking about how addicts see themselves as always making bad choices and never accomplishing what they want. Because they are unable to see any positives, the only option is to see negatives. Even neutral thoughts or behaviors become negative since they obviously aren’t positive. Every time we try to break out of addictive behaviors, our minds tell us we are the addiction and we can’t change because we just don’t have it in us.

So, how can we change how we view ourselves to allow the change we crave and let go of all those negative images and thoughts? Believe it or not, all it takes is a few simple steps. To get you started try the following:

• Clearly articulate what you want in life and why it is important to you. This is not tangible items like a car or a house, rather it is what they represent. A feeling of freedom and accomplishment, a sense of security and connection with the world around you—whatever is your deepest desire.
• Write down one thing that happens every day that has taken you one step closer to your goals. This could include taking a class, applying for a new job, meeting a new person, taking up a new hobby, keeping a promise to a family member or friend or whatever else you do that is replacing something negative with something positive.
• Keep a record of positive comments made to you by friends, family members and even strangers. Reviewing these positives and reflecting back on what you did at the time can help replace those internal negative messages with ones that are much more accurate and true to the positive person you are.

Before long you will find that you attract more positive experiences and people and, once you see yourself in a sober, productive and positive light, real change will occur all on its own.

Join 61+ Expert Healers, and Spiritual Masters for a FREE Global Online Experience to Open the Floodgates of Possibility, Achieve Unstoppable Confidence,
Gain Thriving Abundance and Manifest Miracles

It’s Time to Reclaim Your Power and Your Life!
http://www.selfworthsummit.com/?subid=86049

Sherry Gaba LCSW, Psychotherapist, Life & Recovery Coach is featured Celebrity Rehab on VH1. Sherry is the author of  The Law of Sobriety which uses the law of attraction to recover from any addiction. Please download your Free EBooks from Sherry™s Enrich Your Life Series. Contact Sherry at sherry@sgabatherapy.com for webinars, teleseminars, coaching packages and speaking engagements. Listen to Sherry on A Moment of Change with Sherry Gaba on CBS.

In essence everything that happens in your life occurs because of a thought, which can be either a positive thought or a negative thought. Thought proceeds action and action proceeds reaction or results. The problem with most people in recovery is that they want to start with the result, which is leading a clean and sober life. However, as I have talked about in my book “The Law of Sobriety”, the negative thoughts they hold and embrace about themselves, the addiction and their life keep bringing about negative actions and negative results. Instead, people that want to have positive results need to start by purging the negative thoughts that are trapping and attracting negative energy.

There are simple steps to take to start to change negative thoughts to positive thoughts that will bring about positive actions and results. If you want to start to attract positive energy and engage in positive actions try these simple thought exercises at the start of every day.

• Visualize a positive day. See the good things that will come your way and avoid focusing on possible barriers and obstacles that are negative.
•  See the people around you as positive, helpful and supportive. Look for people that embody these traits and limit or avoid contact with people that are negative in their thoughts, actions and results.
•  See yourself as successful in your thoughts and actions. Imagine yourself as you want to be and you will find that your actions take you to that positive place. Without a positive thought process opening up your world to positive actions negativity will always hold you back.

Sherry Gaba LCSW, Psychotherapist, Life & Recovery Coach is featured Celebrity Rehab on VH1. Sherry is the author of  The Law of Sobriety which uses the law of attraction to recover from any addiction. Please download your Free EBooks from Sherry™s Enrich Your Life Series. Contact Sherry at sherry@sgabatherapy.com for webinars, teleseminars, coaching packages and speaking engagements. Listen to Sherry on A Moment of Change with Sherry Gaba on CBS.

We make choices all day every day and, for the most part, the choices we make are relatively minor in our lives. Do we have pizza or salad? Does the blue shirt look better than the green or do I get this project done today or rush through it tomorrow? For those working on their journey in recovery the importance of choices is much more relevant. Simple decisions can either create the opportunity to move forward or can result in a return to addictive types of behaviors. “The Law of Sobriety” focuses in on the way that choices impact recovery and how intentional decision making is a skill that is critical for change.

In order to make intentional decisions that promote recovery, get rid of the negative and bring in positive energy and opportunities there are three important steps to take. Using these steps as a model for big and small decisions and choices will ensure that you are not reverting to negative behaviors and thoughts.

Step 1: What options do I have?

Most decisions that we make are not yes or no options, there is a whole range of possibilities. It is just easier to break everything into its simplest possible form, which may be forcing you back into negative thought patterns and decision making models. Instead look outside the box to determine what options are out there.

Step 2: What are the pros and cons of the choice I am about to make?

This is the reality check part of the intentional decision. Most choices have potential positives and possible negatives. Understanding the risks and the benefits to the decision takes thought and careful consideration. Looking only at one side or the other may close doors or limit our decision making to things we have already done before.

Step 3: Will this decision move me forward in my recovery and positive lifestyle change?

If the decision has positives, but those positives aren’t moving you in the direction you want, they aren’t really positive for you. A promotion that requires you spend more time on the road, more time away from your support system or adds stress to your life may seem positive from a financial point but may not be positive overall.

Sherry Gaba LCSW, Psychotherapist, Life & Recovery Coach is featured Celebrity Rehab on VH1. Sherry is the author of  The Law of Sobriety which uses the law of attraction to recover from any addiction. Please download your Free EBooks from Sherry™s Enrich Your Life Series. Contact Sherry at sherry@sgabatherapy.com for webinars, teleseminars, coaching packages and speaking engagements. Listen to Sherry on A Moment of Change with Sherry Gaba on CBS.

If you are a person who struggles with addictive behavior you know that your own biggest enemy is looking at you every time you stand in front of a mirror. This applies to those who are shopping addicts as well as to those who are drug addicts or alcoholics

People who have addictions to any type of substance or behavior are their own biggest problem because they cannot let go of the negative stigma that the addiction has created internally. Being able to let go of those negative thoughts about yourself will free you from their restraints and allow you to thrive, grow and change into the person you want to be.
There are four questions that you need to ask yourself to find out if your own negative thoughts are creating a quagmire for you to get out of before you can start to change. They are:

• Can I list my positive traits as easily as I can list all the faults that I have?
• Am I a good person who has made some bad choices or a bad person who only has one choice in how I react?
• Do I honestly see the options I have in making decision in my life or do I seem to be a one-way track over which I have no control?
• Can I list the positive attributes I want to have and why they are important to my own personal growth and positive change?

If you had to stop and think about these answers, or couldn’t answer at all, then negativity has definitely invaded your internal sense of self. This internal perspective about your lack of positivity is projected into the world around you, bringing in negative energy, interactions and experiences.
My book “The Law of Sobriety” talks about the often-rugged mental path that needs to be taken in order to get over the mountains of negative thoughts we have developed about ourselves through an addiction. Working with an addiction therapist or counselor is critical in being able to clearly see the path to a better, healthier self.

Working with people of all walks of life and with all types of challenges I have found that getting over this hurdle of negative self-thoughts often brings about amazing results. The world

Sherry Gaba LCSW, Psychotherapist, Life & Recovery Coach is featured Celebrity Rehab on VH1. Sherry is the author of  The Law of Sobriety which uses the law of attraction to recover from any addiction. Please download your Free EBooks from Sherry™s Enrich Your Life Series. Contact Sherry at sherry@sgabatherapy.com for webinars, teleseminars, coaching packages and speaking engagements. Listen to Sherry on A Moment of Change with Sherry Gaba on CBS.

“The Law of Sobriety” was written not only to help addicts recover from alcohol and drug addictions but also to create a different, positive and supportive frame of mind to shape the recovery and your life after recovery. Changing thinking from negative to positive allows an entirely new outlook on life, one that welcomes in the positive energy around you to sustain your recovery into the future. It is not a specific goal directed recovery; rather it is a way to become spiritual and connected rather than isolated and disconnected.

While this is a wonderful perspective and a positive change for the addict, there is still often a huge issue for the family, friends, spouses and partners that have been hurt by the addiction. These people need to also be able to move forward, to give trust and understanding and also to support the addicted person’s growth and change. In situations where co-dependency is an issue the co-dependent person needs to go through his or her own recovery program in order for the relationship to continue to be positive and possible. A life coach, addiction recovery therapists or a counselor may need to get involved to help both people understand the addiction and co-dependency issues in the relationship.

Addicts need to be able to understand the addiction from the family or friend’s perspective before they can truly begin to make the steps needed to strengthen and rebuild those relationships. Putting yourself in the other person’s shoes is a great exercise that will enable you to see things in a different light. By being able to take on a universal view of the addiction behaviors, not as a negative beat yourself up process but to gain understanding, you will receive a powerful message. By having the ability to empathize with your loved ones and friends you can get goals and look for positives that will allow you to build and rebuild the relationship.

We all have behaviors that we use to deal with issues in our lives that are not constructive, rather they are ultimately destructive. However, because the behavior we choose is meeting some immediate need we continue to use them. These behaviors may be in the form of addictions such as a drug or alcohol addiction to avoid dealing with depression or a sex addiction because we are having difficulties with boundaries.

There are other types of behaviors that we all have to allow us to mask a problem or escape from facing truth. These may not reach the level of hard core addictions but they certainly rate up there as really bad habits or soft addictions. These soft addictions, if not addressed, can create bigger problems in our lives that then start to negativity impact our world. This, by very definition, then becomes a true addiction.

The three top life wasting soft addictions that are all around us include:

1. Negativity – always nagging, always complaining and always looking for why sometime won’t or can’t work is the hallmark of a negative habit. This waste of our time in life leads to ruined relationships, missed opportunities and a low sense of self esteem as we become more and more isolated and less and less involved in the world around us.

1. Escape from reality – while alcohol and drugs are an escape from reality there are at least two other major ways to avoid dealing with the world around you and reality. These two include spending time in cyberspace instead of living in the real world and avoiding people by spending time watching television. When these two activities become your social world or you put off spending time with real people to interact or watch virtual people or characters there is a real disconnect with a healthy social life.

1. Food – there are real food addictions that are very serious, but there are also people that use food as a crutch or a tool to deal with issues without becoming truly addicted. Food soft addictions are a life wasting behavior since this type of uncontrolled food use can lead to health problems that dramatically affect length and quality of life.

Talk to a life coach, addiction therapist or a counselor if you think that any behavior that you are using on a regular basis is negatively impacting your life. It is never too late to get on a positive track!

Sherry Gaba LCSW, Psychotherapist, Life & Recovery Coach is featured Celebrity Rehab on VH1. Sherry is the author of “The Law of Sobriety” which uses the law of attraction to recover from any addiction. Please download your Free EBooks from Sherry™s Enrich Your Life Series. Contact Sherry at sherry@sgabatherapy.com for webinars, teleseminars, coaching packages and speaking engagements. Listen to Sherry on A Moment of Change with Sherry Gaba on CBS