When I was many years younger, I used to be hit hard by what later came to be known as SAD – Seasonal Affective Disorder. As Autumn proceeded from its kaleidoscopic colors into rusts and browns, and finally into Winter’s endless grays, my own spirits would slump accordingly. As the days grew darker, my moods followed along, bringing bouts of tears, withdrawal, and lethargy. By the time I crawled into late February, I would often be struggling with outright despair.
But, thankfully, that changed. Perhaps, it was in part that I fell in love with a man who truly revels in the cold time of year. And maybe as I got older, my hormonal changes helped. But the truth is that, long before I was perimenopausal, my Autumns and Winters were beginning to pass without loss of emotional equilibrium.
Was it just coincidence that this shift was in synch with the deepening of my Pagan spiritual practice? As I attuned myself to the seasons of the Earth, and embraced the cycles of life and death, growth and surrender, rather than dreading the darkening of the year, I learned to love it.
Don’t get me wrong. … I am well aware that for many people, it is a very painful and serious problem.
But I wonder if there could be any correlation between SAD and our culture’s insistence that we ignore the natural waxing and waning of the light. Could winter depression be exacerbated by our refusal to allow ourselves, in the ways we might individually need to, to harmonize with the rhythms of the seasons?
Instead, I seek the beauty of the short days, I am grateful for the cold winds, and I embrace the silence. Nature Herself teaches us how to live in rhythm, and by following Her guidance, we might, in fact, be much less sad.
This is not to say that periodic use of medication isn’t helpful for people going through difficult times. But simply medicating ourselves because we’re sad isn’t going to help us get to the heart of the issue that is creating the sadness. Saturn cycles create depression and isolation, but the time spent alone in sadness that Saturn requires helps us to become stronger internally and better equipped to handle other difficult times. Pluto cycles can create depression at the loss of control we feel as our lives are turned upside down, but if we medicate ourselves we may miss the exhilaration of the regeneration that we are sure to experience on the other end.
posted January 18, 2009 at 3:50 pm
I wholeheartedly agree! I think too often we turn to a quick medicinal “fix” rather than tuning into ourselves and nature’s natural cycles for healing. I often think that if we do so… perhaps we are only postponing the true healing process? Avoiding a mountain doesn’t make the mountain disappear. Thank you for the article! It is something many people should take a little time to consider… I too was medicated at several points in my life and am happy to say that I am now not only nonmedicated but happy and in tune with myself and the universe.
posted January 18, 2009 at 4:34 pm
Psychiatrist Jonathan Zuess has written a beautiful, deeply insightful book, The Wisdom of Depression, which explores the beneficial sides of “depression” and sadness.
He also considers the process a natural healing process that ought to be viewed as an opportunity for exploring repressed past wounds, traumas and what is currently dissatisfying (at many different levels) in one’s life. Zuess likens the healing process as a modern-life “vision quest:”
“As a society, we have long misunderstood the process of depression. Depression is not just a chemical imbalance in the brain. It can be our bodies’ response to the need to address imbalance in our whole lives, and is in many ways about transformation. In fact, when viewed and treated within a holistic framework, the process of depression can become a powerful and potentially creative healing path.”
Tragically, the medical model of somewhat treating symptoms through numbing, is part of a societal problem of using numbing, desensitization, repression, avoidance, denial, and addictive behaviors as coping mechanisms to avoid the inevitable pain that accompanies life and growth.
We see this in the over-use of alcohol, legal and illegal drugs, escapist television and movie products that push insensitivity and materialism as a way of life.
In the face of this kind of toxic culture, depression may indeed be a message from one’s deepest humanity and knowing, to find a meaningful way of life.
Thank you for your very insightful post! Last year, Lynn, you told me that Saturn on top of my Jupiter and opposing my ascendant could be depressing. At the time, I did not feel this, but now I do, so I am turning to holistic, wiser sources that have positively transformed my life in the past, while realizing the birds of sorrow will pass!
posted January 18, 2009 at 6:04 pm
This is a favorite subject of mine because I’m in full agreement of the necessity of allowing natural cycles to proceed. It’s true on so many levels. Why, just for example, fever is the body’s way of destroying invaders through high temperatures. There’s evidence that suppressing this natural process too often can result in the body becoming overburdened with cellular debris and toxic garbage.
As someone with first house Saturn and Cap Moon, I am very familiar with sadness. What’s made it easier to accept is learning to read my chart and see *why* I have these forces active in my life. Before, I thought I was some kind of antisocial freak. Now I can look back and see reasons for why I was (and am) behaving in such a way at the time.
posted January 18, 2009 at 6:21 pm
I have been going through a Saturn return and a sensitive Chiron transit – have been sad, miserable, and in much physical pain for 3 months. I read this with interest.
Even tho I know why this is happening, it just doesn’t seem to end, and I do know that each day I get through I’m closer to a new beginning. What that will be is still up i the air.
I do not think that people should suffer needlessly, with no purpose.
But I liked Beth Owl’s writings. I never had this UNTIL I got older, as far as I know, I never suffered with SAD til later. This year has been the worst I can remember for me personally.
posted January 18, 2009 at 8:00 pm
Well said, both Beth Owl’s daughter and Lynn. I do believe in appropriate use of medications, and I’ve seen people struggle without when their brain chemistry was really ailing and in need of treatment as much as any illness, and the miraculous difference medicine makes in these cases. But there is much that can be done in the face of lesser illness or normal sadness (yes, sadness is a normal emotion!) to accept these cycles and their gifts.
posted January 18, 2009 at 8:31 pm
I also have a cap moon; and am familiar with sadness. This period of time has been particularly intense for me.
Knowing this has made it easier for me to deal with everything that has been going on in the universe right now – and am also a Virgo, so Mercury retrograde always is fun, too…..
posted January 18, 2009 at 10:19 pm
In charts I have explored, patterns of depression are sometimes indicative of strong Pisces or Cancer aspects, and/or strong 4th or 12th house placements.
using your senses to feel your way through a choice (it’s either “yes” or “no”, there’s no “maybe’s)
If present in a chart, the trigger for eventual depression occurs in early childhood when the sensitive child hears they are “too sensitive”. The typical response of a child (especially in survival mode) is to stuff the sensitivity, replacing this innate gift for another strategy more welcomed/appreciated by others in the Family. This strategy of “stuffing” is genetic in nature.
Yet, “stuffing” eventually manifests in a variety of symptoms including muscle pain, emotional trauma or depression, or even digestion difficulties.
Healing this pattern requires (in no particular order – this is more a holarchy): http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holarchy
1) experiencing the pattern of being too sensitive (you can’t heal anything you haven’t experienced)
2) feeling the sensitivity
3) taking proactive steps, such as bodywork to help release the stress, raise the vibration and keep the sensitivity channels clear and open
4) allowing oneself to express their sensitivities freely
5) getting off the wheel of readily helping others in distress without considering the consequences of one’s actions (saying “yes” when you mean “no”). Sensitive people have a tendency to absorb other’s stuff. Important to create very clear boundaries to minimize this absorption factor (see # 3).
6) living close to water, taking a salt bath daily, and/or swimming,
7) refraining from excessive sweets (sugar depletes the spleen and raises the vibration of depression) and stimulants such as coffee, nicotine etc.
9) staying out of drama
Fortunately, society is beginning to appreciate the power of the sensitive child. It’s a remarkable gift to be able to walk into a room and know immediately if it is “safe”, or “unsafe”. Today’s sensitive children will become the “empaths” of society.
posted January 19, 2009 at 12:25 am
Joseph,
Thank you for your added advice.
Have you come across Elaine Aron’s work on The Highly Sensitive Person? I have found her work v. helpful.
Also, there are finally some articles on moral and emotional giftedness and traits that accompany these gifts (which are also often correlated with intellectual giftedness) including sensitivity and introversion. This is available online: The moral sensitivity of gifted children and the evolution of society
Citation: From Roeper Review. 17(2), 110-16. Reprinted with permission. Author: Linda Kreger Silverman
Online since: November 2003. There’s much else in written publications on the growing awareness of multiple forms of giftedness. Sensitivity is a salient trait and, as with other traits, require counseling issues.
I hope you’re right and sensitivity becomes more valued throughout the world in the future!
posted January 19, 2009 at 2:00 am
Thanks Mira. Good information.
My youngest daughter, now 26, is highly (underscore) sensitive. She feel’s on levels that are remarkable and challenging to her. She’ll cry in the blink of an eye. Animals and little children gravitate to her.
She has her North Node and Sun conjunct in Cancer in the 8th house, and Jupiter (11th), Ceres (12th) and Rising sign in Scorpio. Air (Venus in Gemini, Mars/Saturn conj in Libra) and Fire (Sag Moon conj Uranus in the 1st) make up the rest of her chart Quite a special being.
posted January 19, 2009 at 1:29 pm
I have Saturn conjunct my Sun and have never been depressed except for the occasional blues. During my Saturn return I bought my first house and met my husband. Saturn is not bad by itself. I think it usually a combination of things that indicates depression.
posted January 19, 2009 at 8:27 pm
Melancholy seems to be my natural temperament, since early childhood, and I’m not sure if I’d describe it as a gift. Occasionally it makes me appreciate poetry or music on a deeper level or have a moment of recognizing life’s transience. Other times it’s overwhelming. Not sure that medication would make much of a difference.
posted January 19, 2009 at 8:42 pm
And, for whatever it’s worth, according to my chart, I’m a Leo with a Capricorn moon, in opposition to Venus in Leo, and Scorpio ascendant. Also Mercury in Virgo, square Saturn in Gemini in the 8th house. I also have Mars retrograde in Aquarius, in opposition to the midheaven in Leo. Those are supposedly difficult aspects. No water signs to speak of in my otherswise fairly well-balanced signs in earth, fire and air chart. Not sure I buy into it. I think it’s more likely I simply inherited my temperament from my father, who also inclines to introversion and depression, and circumstances also contribute.
posted January 19, 2009 at 11:35 pm
>No water signs to speak of in my otherswise fairly well-balanced signs in earth, fire and air chart. I think it’s more likely I simply inherited my temperament from my father, who also inclines to introversion and depression, and circumstances also contribute.
Ah, reality check: Scorpio Ascendant = Water! Leo squares Scorpio. Matters of the heart vs emotional stress and drama, especially in the early years. That to me is a perfect storm for sadness, etc. On your dad side the pattern goes back 4 generations.
Yes, you inherited it, but not to suffer from it. Rather, serves as the foundation for shifting it. Might want to read my suggestions again.
posted January 20, 2009 at 10:15 am
Such wonderful comments! Sorry I haven’t been around to jump in.
Sue – I’m sorry you are in such pain, but there is likely an old wound that is being opened up at this time. Though you say “for no reason,” you will likely find yourself much freer when the transit is over. Sometimes those heavy transits, if we really allow ourselve to penetrate the depth of the pain, can unlock the doors to a deep wound and free us forever from its bondage.
Joseph, thank you for that Holarchy link. There are so many people who do have this extreme sensitivity (my mother tells me I used to cry at television theme music when I was a kid) and that list correlates to the one I have developed in my own work, but I never knew there was such a thing as Holarchy! Very interesting.
One point of contention though – in my view and experience the ascendant doesn’t actually feed the energy system within the individual. The ascendant is the persona or the disguise, so water in the rising sign doesn’t give the person actual water to work with.
posted January 20, 2009 at 1:21 pm
That’s interesting. I’d have to say that I don’t act or feel much like a Leo, though, even if the Scorpio is just a mask. I’ve got more of the traits that I’ve read about in the description of Scorpio or Capricorn or Virgo. I’m definitely not inclined to cry at the drop of a hat and when I do, I go off somewhere to lick my wounds in private. According to one of those online natal charts, I do have Jupiter in Scorpio and Ceres in Cancer, which look to be the only water signs I have other than the rising sign, if I’m reading it right.
In any event, whether you blame it on the stars or on difficult genes or lousy circumstances, I have been feeling pretty blue lately.
posted January 20, 2009 at 8:55 pm
I never held much stock in Seasonal Affective disorder. But with the winter we’re having, which is gray, gray, snow, gray, more snow, gray, gray, yet more snow, combined with working in an interior office with no windows and MAYBE getting a half-hour of sunlight if I manage to get out at lunchtime, I’m starting to feel that if this winter doesn’t go quickly I am going to go out of my mind. It isn’t depression, but it’s certainly something.
Those of us who work in corporations and don’t have control over where we sit so we can’t choose a cubicle by a window, and who often leave for work in darkness and come home in darkness, often find ourselves feeling “off.” It’s hard to revel in the changing of the seasons when you never see daylight.
posted January 21, 2009 at 7:57 am
Those of us who work in corporations and don’t have control over where we sit so we can’t choose a cubicle by a window, and who often leave for work in darkness and come home in darkness, often find ourselves feeling “off.” It’s hard to revel in the changing of the seasons when you never see daylight.
Absolutely – then we become automatons rather than humans who exist in the natural world, which is a depressing fact in itself.
posted January 21, 2009 at 1:51 pm
Hi Lynn
Good discussion on a very complex topic.
>One point of contention though – in my view and experience the ascendant doesn’t actually feed the energy system within the individual. The ascendant is the persona or the disguise, so water in the rising sign doesn’t give the person actual water to work with.
I consider the Rising sign as a statement of life intention. In this case Scorpio would be a desire to experience the world of life force. Life force, as you can appreciate, can be quite primal on many levels. In the emotional realm it literally can bring someone into the world of harsh drama. By contrast, in the physical realm it can be experienced expansively via ecstasy (the feeling of standing under a waterfall).
Germane to this topic, the external factors that seemingly drive our body energies toward sadness etc. are chosen on some conscious or subconscious level. If under the surface a genetic predisposition to sadness, depression etc. exists, “choices” will be filtered or influenced by that predisposition. Quite literally, this predisposition creates whatever external stimulus necessary to activate the pattern. including the type of people we attract to ourselves in any given moment, where we choose to live and work, and how we energetically manifest or create. In the body symptom realm, emotional sorrow trauma (e.g. abandonment is a big one in the collective consciousness) or excessive sweet food intake would prove energetically challenging and depleting.
In the realm of dealing with this stuff, conscious awareness an artificial pattern actually exists (the “a-ha! moment) can prove to be a significant hurdle to overcome. For example, Jill’s comment “‘I’m definitely not inclined to cry at the drop of a hat and when I do, I go off somewhere to lick my wounds in private” points to an artificial strategy of how to deal with a hurtful situation. These types of strategies are usually genetic, and unconsciously chosen at an early age in a fight or flight situation, to begin the process of healing that very pattern (as I mentioned earlier in this discussion, we cannot heal something we haven’t experienced). Seeing this pattern in a transpersonal fashion (this is not the first time this strategy has been used by someone in the family) can be very helpful when working with issues of self-criticism and protection.
In its purest state, sensitivity is a gift of divine grace. We can observe this externally when we are in the presence of a new born child or animal. Yet in a world with many artificially dysfunctional energy patterns flooding our body field (cell phones, noise, emotional drama, lifeless foods, toxic chemicals or pollution, etc. etc.) it can be enormously challenging to be functional and sensitive at the same time. The suggestions I posted earlier represent a holistic path for awakening consciousness, rebalancing the sensitivity field, and making healthy choices to promote sensitivity rather than protecting it. In an astrological sense, having an intimate awareness and understanding of one’s natal chart can be an enormously helpful tool for working with these challenging behavioral patterns in a conscious, healthy fashion.
From a genetic/evolutionary perspective, today’s younger generations represent perhaps the first wave of meaningful change, ultimately returning our bodies to their natural state of divine grace. We literally represent a liberation point in the family genetic stream of consciousness from patterns of fear and distress first expressed generations ago. More so, our genetic ancestors are an active part of this flow through our body’s DNA. At yesterday’s Inauguration, poet Elizabeth Alexander reminded us of this very notion through her stirring poem “Praise Song for the Day”:
“Each day we go about our business,
walking past each other,
catching each others eyes or not,
about to speak or speaking.
All about us is noise.
All about us is noise and bramble, thorn and din,
each one of our ancestors on our tongues….”
Your blog Lynn is a wonderful vehicle for encouraging people to explore this path of healing, growth and self-awareness through the tool of Astrology. Very glad you provide this service.
posted January 21, 2009 at 3:48 pm
What happened to the rest of the comments????? Mercury Rx at work.
It’s also because she has a Cancer 12th house Sun and a Virgo Moon.
posted January 21, 2009 at 8:42 pm
What came first, the chicken or the egg? Does the chart reflect who the person was meant to be or do the planets affect the person’s behavior like some say the moon affects the tides or behavior during a full moon? My natal chart is an interesting tidbit of information. Looking at the online interpretation and some of the books I found at Barnes and Noble, I’d interpret it as saying in multiple places what I already know about some of the difficulties I’ve had with temperament and interactions with people. It’d be nice sometimes to know how to fix it and have an entirely different genetic makeup/personality/star chart!
Though Catholicism forbids astrology and star worship, I can still see it making a certain kind of sense if it’s just another way of interpreting God’s plans for people and nations. Joseph is also correct that there are some recognizable family patterns of dealing with emotions, probably going back four generations or more, and most people would probably chalk up those traits to genes or learned behavior. Maybe there are some astrologers who enjoy looking at the natal charts of families going back generations to trace those particular patterns, if they exist? It seems like interesting sort of research.