Recently in Healing Category

 have a particular interest in energy medicine and the underlying causes of illness as they appear in the birthchart. This is particularly true of mysterious symptoms that defy diagnosis. That said, I am not a medical professional and my comments are not to be considered a substitute for regular medical care. Still, I strongly believe that most illnesses originate in an energy imbalance and that correcting this imbalance can improve our health.

Q: Twenty years ago, I had an attack of shingles in my head.. leaving me with vertigo, deafness, no taste or smell on the left side of my head, paralysis there too, and intellectual deficits. Up until this point, I was a journalist. Afterwards ? Well I had days when I couldn't remember what side of the envelope the stamp went on. The nerves at the lower end of my spine got involved somehow and though I can walk, etc. I've lost functions of elimination... I have to use catheters daily to drain my bladder etc. (I know TMI...) this has been for two years now.. I underwent several tests this summer to try to find out the underlying cause of my physical problems.. and got.. No answers. I'm wondering what to do next ? Is there any light at the end of this long and painful tunnel?

A: Your chart shows difficulty expressing the energy of Mars, something I like to call a "Mars problem." Mars, being the god of War, is the planet that urges us to defend our borders, to respond appropriately when attacked, and gives us the drive to get what we want. Mars is our desires and often is tied into our physical energy (although the Sun is also an important piece of the vitality puzzle). This is a very complex issue and situation but I will try to shorten and simplify it to fit into this format.

Your Sun is conjunct Neptune, both in Libra - a lovely and creative placement for imagination and beauty, but Neptune does tend to drown out our physical energy at times. This Sun/Neptune conjunction is the apex of what we call a "T-square", meaning the Sun and Neptune are square to a tight conjunction of Jupiter and Uranus in Cancer on one end and Mars and Chiron in Capricorn on the other. This is a powerhouse of a dynamic that when balanced properly can give you a great deal of power for change and evolution. But when it gets blocked that powerful energy can implode within us.

Let's break this dynamic down: The conjunction of Jupiter and Uranus in the first house seeks a an independent, innovative and exciting approach to life. However, their placement in the sign of Cancer combined with your Cancer ascendant makes it difficult to do things that are truly for you. You are geared towards taking care of others, and hope that this will serve you in the end.

This combination of Mars and Chiron in Capricorn show that you are a hard worker and very disciplined with a tremendous focus on what needs to be done. You are able to push through most obstacles and keep your eye on the goal. This can lead you to ignore signals your body is sending you to warn you of impending health crisis until it is too late. The conjunction of Mars and Chiron often signifies a difficulty expressing ones own needs which is reflected in several places in your chart. The Sun conjunct Neptune also can be a signifier of one who is sacrificed or made a scapegoat. And in Libra, the Sun strives to achieve balance and often gives up one's own self in the process.

The opposition between Jupiter/Uranus and Mars/Chiron can be explosive. Jupiter opposite Mars expands the aggressive instinct and requires an outlet for this increased energy. Uranus opposite Mars evokes rebellion and resistance to control. Chiron opposite Uranus heightens the flow of energy through the body and in itself can create energy imbalances if not grounded properly, and the opposition of Jupiter to Chiron, while it provides an enhanced perception of multidimensional reality, can also increase health problems should they occur.

The picture I am getting here is of a person who has a tremendous amount of energy and spark of life, but who gets bogged down with the day to day responsibilities of watching out for others. Aries is on your midheaven, revealing the key to achieving your highest goals and aspirations is through aggressively asserting your needs and independence.

At the time that your first shingles attack occurred you were undergoing quite a few transits of Mars which were stimulating your need to express yourself in a more powerful way. Perhaps there were things you were angry about that were buried in the need to do what needed to be done. This was exacerbated by a transit of Jupiter across your Aries Midheaven that opposed the conjunction of the Sun and Neptune and set off the whole six-planet T-square combination. Without an outlet, all of this energy just imploded into the shingles attack (shingles are an immune system disorder that is commonly associated with stress).

About three years ago your Moon progressed into Aries (the last time this happened was 30 years before if you can remember back that far) which enhanced your need to have that Aries experience of independence and asserting one's own needs. Xena the warrior princess is the Aries archetype of women: she is noble and kind but doesn't take any s*&t from anyone! This would have been an excellent time to take up kickboxing or some other kind of aggressive activity that would help to release some of this energy and increase your sense of empowerment. If you had no such outlet again the energy would have imploded into your nervous system.

At the same time you began your Chiron return, when transiting Chiron was conjunct Chiron in your own chart and again set off the T-square dynamic. Chiron brings to the surface all of our hidden painful wounds from the past, demanding that these wounds be brought into conscious awareness where that can be healed. Resistance to this process can lead to health problems.

I want to emphasize that the opposition of Chiron and Uranus, which is very common in the charts of people born between 1953 and 1985, shows a particularly sensitive nervous system.

Without doing a full reading on this individual I am reluctant to make specific recommendations, but understanding what is needed to regain the balance of appropriate aggression and expression of one's own needs and desires (Mars) is the first step to recovery.

The deaths of two people at a sweat lodge outside of Sedona have raised many questions.  Led by self-help guru James Arthur Ray who achieved fame after appearing in the film "The Secret" and on Oprah's television show, between 55 and 65 people gathered in a sweat lodge at Angel Valley Spiritual Retreat.  The sweat lodge itself was a temporary structure about 415 square feet and about 4-1/2 feet tall, made of poles and tarps and blankets.  The participants had been in the sweat for more than two hours according to a New York Times article. 

The sweat was part of a program called "Spiritual Warrior."  According to Ray's website, this program is designed to push the boundaries and the self-imposed borders of the practitioners. A colleague of Ray's, John Assaraf, says that these retreats are meant to push the limits of participants' endurance and "transcend pain." 

I've been studying what I call "performance technology" for over 20 years and have used it in my own life and with my clients.  The work I call "Visioncrafting" is derived from these philosophies.  It's extremely unfortunate that the tragedy of these deaths is being used to mock the "self-help movement" and undermine the whole idea of personal transformation.

On the other hand, this idea of pushing people beyond their limits is one that I have never found beneficial.  My earliest experience with these ideas was with the program EST in the early 1970s.  I never attended an EST program (with three planets in Libra and Venus opposite Jupiter, I have no need to challenge myself in this way), but friends who did told the tale of being humiliated in front of a roomful of people and not allowed to leave the room to take care of nature's needs. To me, this was not an attractive way of achieving spiritual growth and I don't know anyone involved in either EST or its offshoot the Landmark Forum, who achieved real and lasting personal evolution.  In fact for some, the intensity of the experience forced them to confront issues for which they were not prepared, resulting in personal breakdowns.

Humans have always sought spiritual release through mortification of the flesh.  Whether through guilt and shame or through a desire to transcend the boundaries of the physical form, the act of self-mutilation can bring about experiences that break through boundaries.  There is a Neptunian quality here as Neptune seeks to go beyond the experience of ordinary life into something more magnificent and divine.  There is also the potential of illusion with any Neptunian experience, and the line between spirituality and delusion is very narrow.  

Still, it is sad that this event will cast a pall on the entire movement of personal growth. 

In my own work I have found that personal transformation cannot be forced.  Before we can make real change in our lives we must have enough love for ourselves to face the demons that hold us back, and enough strength and courage to release them.  

Throughout this year, with Chiron and Neptune traveling together, many of my clients have called me with overwhelming feelings of grief.  Often there is an event that appears to have caused these intense emotions, but sometimes the feelings appear to stem from events that occurred long ago.  A client who had mourned the loss of her mother that happened nine years ago.  Another who grieved the loss of her first marriage many years ago.  Suddenly, after many years, the emotions welled up seemingly from nowhere to take over their lives.

From my article on the Chiron/Neptune conjunction:

Challenging astrological cycles do often coincide with painful events in our life, but whether the grief we feel is over a current loss or an old one, the feelings are the same.  Psychiatrists know that grief and emotional pain are stored in the psyche with the same intensity that they held during the original event.  

Chiron has been a great teacher and guide for astrologers' understanding about the nature of grief, but Saturn and Pluto play a role as well.  

Under Saturn transits we are painfully aware of our faults, our loneliness, and the blocks that keep us from our happiness.  Saturn is associated with depression which has a different tonal quality than grief.  

Under Pluto transits we often find ourselves facing unpleasant truths and frightening memories from our past, and Pluto can bring up deep and dark emotions that unlock doors to emotional pain.  But it's Chiron that opens the doorways for the emotional pain that we store in our psyche to spring forth into the conscious mind where it can, with conscious focus and attention, be processed and released.

Often a client will ask me, "When will this be over?  Will I ever be happy again?"  They will say "I don't want to ever feel this again."  We spend our lives running from our pain, but the problem with that is as long as we run, the pain remains stored in our psyche and our bodies.  Later it may erupt in physical pain and nondiagnosable illness.  

What is required is the courage to look into our own soul and open the doorway to the feelings, to see what they have to tell us and to teach us.  It's not an easy path, but it's the only way to wholeness.

Now this is interesting and mirrors what I suspected was the case.  The Kaiser Family Foundation has published new poll numbers with answers to two questions: