Recently in Sun signs Category

Thanks as always to Elsa's Top Ten for providing a link to this wonderful article:

zodiac version 2.0

Thousands of years ago, people in primitive cultures looked upwards and imagined patterns and signs in the stars that bespeckled the night sky, much the same way that stock traders and market analysts do with economic data today. They imagined the stars were arranged in the shapes of animals and people: Capricorn, Aquarius, Pisces, Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Leo, Virgo, Libra, Scorpio, and Sagittarius, formed the zodiac that encircled the heavens.

The heavens may seem a permanent and unchanging creation, but over a span of thousands of years, the positions of the stars do change and the circumstances and infuences that affect our daily lives have changed even more. By the later part of the twentieth century, the movement towards universal deregulation led to an increasing pace of mergers, buyouts, and divestitures, often leaving zodiacal consumers uncertain of what their sign would be the next day or what level of support they could count upon.

At its peak, this celestial merger-mania was on the verge of dividing the cosmos between the signs of Microsoft and AT&T, leaving little room for individuality and variety in horoscopes. Cosmic consolidation to a mere two sun signs would be devastating for those who depend on their daily astrological forecast to plan their lives, predict romantic possibilities, and make investment and career decisions. Some analysts warned that if half the world's population were to receive unexpected checks all on the same day, the resulting chaos in the international banking system would be catastrophic--or at the very least result in inconveniently long lines at teller windows and ATMs.

After the initial "boom" times of celestial merger-mania, the need to curtail expenses led to many stars that had previously held high-level positions in major constellations being laid off. The likelihood that some of the less profitable star signs might be discontinued entirely--with a corresponding loss of support for people born during corresponding times of the year--was the last straw that caused the government to intervene.

To deal with growing consumer concerns and zodiacal vulnerability to possible future extragalactic competition, the US Justice Department and the FCSC (Federal Celestial Sphere Commission) worked out a plan to return the zodiac to its original complement of twelve signs, updated to be more relevant to the daily lives of people in the new millennium:

Cisco, the Router (February 19th ~ March 20th)

The router serves to bridge the gap between two worlds, a "gatekeeper" between our day-to-day earthly plane and the higher realm of the spirit or between the local intranet and the campus backbone or internet.

Persons born under the sign of the router feel an enhanced connection to planes other than the physical and can help bring enlightenment to others by filtering and guiding packets of spirituality to the people around them. The vulnerability of Ciscons (people born under the sign of Cisco) is that they may unwisely pick up evil packets from the other side as well and be subject to their influence and even fall victim to Denial-of-Spirituality (DoS) attacks coming from the darker planes of existence.

EDO, the RAM (March 21st ~ April 19th)

Quick to learn new things and energetic in taking on new tasks, people born under the sign of the RAM tend to lose interest in old or boring tasks if their excitement level is not frequently refreshed.

Possessed of a deep committment to fairness in their dealings with others, they strive to maintain parity in all their interactions and will immediately detect imbalance or error.

Hayes, the Modem (April 20th ~ May 20th)

Children born under this sign often appear aloof and uninterested to the casual aquaintance, but it's more accurate to say that one just has to make sure to get their attention first.

Because of this tendency towards shyness, they may find it difficult to negotiate a true connection with others and often experience compatibility problems until they're absolutely sure that those they deal with fully come up to their standards and the tone of their interactions is to their liking. But once such a connection is made, you can be sure they will be determined to hang on, at least until they drop you.

Control-ALT-Delete, the Reset Button (May 21st ~ June 20th)

Those born under the Control-Alt-Delete sign are capable of quick, on-the-fly decisions and immediate actions, sometimes followed by almost-but-not-quite immediate regrets. Impatient and possessed of highly active imaginations, emotions, and wit, they are always ready and eager to start a new project or restart a current one in a whole different way.

The Control-Alt-Delete-born are very tactile in nature, responding quickly and enthusiastically to being touched, but once they get started, it's difficult or even hazardous to try to interrupt or stop them before they feel that they're finished.

Pink Pearl, the Eraser (June 21st ~ July 22nd)

Despite being cautious and careful in their actions and decisions, people born under the sign of the Pink Pearl Eraser find themselves always having to clean up after the mistakes and messes of others and often wind up feeling crummy as a result.

When given enough care and attention, children of the Eraser are able to remain flexible and understanding despite the wear-and-tear of daily life; if left neglected too long, however, their attitude often becomes hard and brittle.

Pentium, the CPU (July 23rd ~ August 22nd)

Pentiums are fast thinkers and highly analytical, though in their haste, they're also given to skipping over details and making small math errors, particularly where fractions are concerned. They're also strongly emotional and if not given enough room to cool off, tend to get hotheaded and unstable. Never get on the wrong side of someone born under the sign of Pentium, because if you do, they'll get prickly and easily bent out-of-shape.

Pentiums always expect to be the center of attention and are natural leaders, automatically assuming that they are in charge and that everything will go through them.

DeepRock, the Water Cooler (August 23rd ~ September 23rd)

People born under this sign are cool and easy-going, not easily pressed into quick decisions or fast action, especially on Monday mornings, Friday afternoons, or during the week.

Water Coolers are good listeners and willing to lend a sympathetic ear, at least as long as your problems make for sufficiently juicy gossip.

Keuffel and Esser, the Slide Rule (September 24th ~ October 22nd)

People born under the sign of the Slide Rule have a particular talent for extending themselves to handle new problems and situations. They are able to look at problems, both small and large, and immediately keep the basic details in proportion.

Elegant and dependable, Slide Rules are known for keeping their cool and never letting on that they're being pulled too far until they reach their limit and abruptly fall apart.

Weller, the Soldering Iron (October 23rd ~ November 21st)

Those born under the sign of the Soldering Iron are both passionate and focused, capable of directing their intense firey passions towards a single goal. Others may see the intensity of their inner fire, be drawn to it, and wind up getting burned, because once a Wellerian has gotten heated up and is focused on a goal, he or she may be unaware of or uninterested in anything else.

To be happy, the Wellerian has to have someone close in his or her life who has extra energy to be drawn upon when needed, otherwise those born under this sign may become cold, withdrawn, and ineffective.

Custom Imprinted With Your Company Logo, the Pocket Protector (November 22nd ~ December 21st)

Children of the Pocket Protector are very security-oriented and careful to protect others, sometimes even at their own expense. Friends and family may accuse the Pocket Protector People in their lives of being "unadventurous" or "not spontaneous enough," but those born under the Custom Imprinted With Your Company Logo sign must strive to trust their own wisdom and hold to their chosen course, values, and priorities and not be swayed by those around them who might be more rash and less thorough in their thinking.

Quake, the Video Game (December 22nd ~ January 19th)

Energetic, imaginitive, and often heavily armed, Quakers keep finding themselves abruptly plunged into the midst of chaos and crossfire, and solving or blowing up the current batch of problems and crises may turn out to be only the harbinger of a new, more challenging level of bigger problems and crises.

Able to don many different hats or "skins" to cope with this wide array of problems, the child of the video game often still finds himself or herself really looking for an even bigger gun with which to take out opponents.

Tux, the Penguin (January 20th ~ February 18th)

Free and independent-thinking, those born under the sign of Tux the Penguin are quick with thoughts and ideas, even if the rest of the world might not understand the thoughts and ideas in question. Rather than express feelings and problems with loud and aggressive warning and error messages that are apparent to anyone, their inner settings may only be visible to those who know them and have learned where and how to probe for them.

When it comes to romantic relationships, many people assume that those born under this sign would be incompatible or too complex, or that they simply wouldn't serve their needs, but with proper care and patience--and a certain amount of tweaking and experimentation--those born under the sign of Tux, the Penguin, are compatible with many platforms and star signs.

The Unnatural Enquirer, © 2001 Trygve Lode (trygve@trygve.com)

And don't miss the archives of this hilarious site here.

I, for one, am glad to see this headline. Ever since newspapers began printing "horoscopes" to sell more papers, real astrologers have been complaining about it. Clarke Fountain says sun sign "horoscopes" are like "trying to funnel the ocean into a ketchup bottle." There are some good astrologers out there writing these columns, and there's no doubt that sun sign columns bring increased exposure, but they are just not accurate.

A "horoscope" is so much more than a sun sign, it is no less than an actual map of the sky at the time an individual was born. It includes an ascendant, Sun, Moon, planets, Chiron, asteroids, midpoints, angles, and that's only the beginning. It then analyzes the relationships between each of those factors, and then studies their evolution. Although the Sun sign is the most important single piece of the chart, it is only one piece and strongly affected by the other factors. For example, someone with Sun in fiery Aries whose Sun is conjunct Neptune will take on characteristics of Neptune as well with a more watery personality. To make a determination from only the Sun sign is just impossible.

So I was glad to see that a recent analysis by Dr. Peter Hartmann, a researcher in psychology in Denmark, proved that

"When considering the current scientific standing with respect to Sun signs, it becomes clear that there is little or no truth in [them]," says Dr Peter Hartmann, who led the study in the May issue of the journal Personality and Individual Differences."This does not necessarily mean that all astrology is without truth, but only that the independent effect of Sun signs is most likely to be irrelevant," he said.

Dane Rudhyar, the grandfather of modern astrology, dismissed the attempts of astrologers to attempt to "prove" astrology in this article. Quoting Einstein, he says

"Science knows more and more about less and less." This is the result of its analytical and reductive approach to the empirical data of human experience.

he then goes on to conclude:

[I]f astrology is to be considered a science, it should not be as an empirical science, but as a kind of algebra based on a new and complex type of "holistic" logic dealing with the structural operations of a few variable factors which can be found at work in any steady and organized system of activities.

I feel no need to prove how astrology works, for me it is enough that it brings insight and magic into our lives, giving us a new level of self understanding and bringing us in greater harmony with our purpose.

Art by Cameron Anne Mason

The Sun has moved into Taurus, the sign of the Bull, of earthly delights and pleasures. Taurus is an earth sign and ruled by Venus, the goddess of love. Under the rulership of Venus, Taurus seeks peace, harmony, aesthetic pleasures and serenity. However, Taurus is deeply rooted in the physical body in a way that Venus cannot explain, and for this reason I assign a dual rulership of Taurus to Earth, or Gaia.

In Greek mythology, Gaia was named for the land ("ga"). Born from Chaos, she was the wife and mother of Uranus, and with him bore rather monstrous children (the Titans, the Giants, and the Cyclops. To protect her children from her husband (Uranus is the idealist and does not care for imperfections) she hid them, including Kronos or Saturn, within herself. Finally she asked Kronos to castrate Uranus, thereby separating earth from sky. Over time, Gaia has become associated with the planet earth itself: with fertility, agriculture, and the sensitive ecological balance of the planet on which we make our home.

Taurus is primarily concerned with security and stability - it longs to set down roots and resists change. Taurus is acquisitive and enjoys accumulating wealth in tangible form such as coins that can be counted, or antique collections. Taurus is rooted in material reality and often resists the pull of fantasy or imagination, preferring to depend on that which she can see.

Taurus loves the finer things of life, but is not concerned with status. Taurus prefers a lovely old car that is unceasingly reliable to a fancy sportscar that requires lots of maintenance. Delicious food, soft fabrics - substance rather than status is the domain of Taurus. They tend to be rather simplistic and dislike nuance, preferring a world where everything is clear to a confusing picture of half-truths and dualities. This can create a dogmatic nature that is unyielding in its prejudices, and this is the shadow side of Taurus.

In relationships they are steadfast and true, but may lack imagination required to sustain romantic excitement. Like the bull, they can be stubborn and immoveable once they make up their mind and they will always know best what is good for you, having done the research and established that sense of commitment to an idea that is inherent in the Taurus nature.

In mythology, Taurus is associated with the legend of the amorous Zeus who took the form of a magnificent white bull in order to ensnare the lovely Europa in his amorous advances. He was so calm and placid that Europa had no fear and climbed upon his back, immediately after which he plunged into the sea with her and swam to Crete where he became her lover. She bore him three sons, one of whom was Minos who introduced the bull cult to Crete. This story shows the seductive side of Taurus, whose calm and placid demeanor calms the hearts of all that they encounter. --------

Meanwhile, Robert Wilkinson has a great article today with more information about the sign of Aries:

Aries, when freed of the traps of impulsive behavior, egocentric judgments, being too quick to anger and too quick to bail when they lose interest in something, show their world a dynamic self-reliance and pioneering vision that leads the way for others without concern over whether others follow or not. Aries is highly self-sufficient, quick to bring their total focus to situations, and loathes dishonesty and betrayal. Aries' initiative comes forth naturally, and instinctively embraces whatever is new and fresh. In fact, in our charts Aries shows us the way to be first in the areas of life it influences. When Aries' tremendous energy learns to slow down, consider other options, and not be so quick to take offense, this sign offers others a refreshing honesty and directness. Aries energies show all how to be themselves, taking the lead in the affairs of life without excessive equivocation or extraneous judgments interfering with their ability to act.

Aries is the unadulterated expression of Mars, which represents the will of the individual self, the Hero archetype. Robert's article gives examples of historical Ariens that have left their mark on the world they left; it is also fascinating to look to legend and myth for the Aries archetype (courtesy of Liz Greene's excellent work on the subject). On the positive side we have the story of Robin Hood - he operates outside of the law, just as Aries has to find his/her own way. But he's not a dark outlaw, he has a band of "merry men" - he finds life exciting and noble and he plays well the role of Hero. He gets to rescue maidens in distress, another favorite pastime of Aries men.

On the other side we have the myth of Jason and the golden fleece (from the Ram, the symbol for Aries). Jason, the classic Aries figure, is fascinated by the fact that the fleece cannot be found (Aries loves a challenge). Exhibiting the courage of Aries, he faces repeated dangers until he is finally able to capture the fleece. At that point, however, he begins to exhibit the more negative traits of Aries: he tries to reject Medea, who has helped him capture the fleece, in favor of a younger princess. His success goes to his head and he becomes arrogant and deceitful.

Both of these stories have one thing in common: the need for a goal, a quest, a role in which to play the Hero without arrogance and conceit. Then we truly do see in Aries that Hero of the old legends.