I am so glad you have started this blog, so glad I signed up for the Beliefnet newsletter that told me about this blog, and so glad I followed the link. Thank you for your honesty; I greatly admire it. I am having a hard enough time being honest with myself about my depression.

beautiful. It was eye candy to read.

Thank you so very much for writing your story on your journey to survive and grow thru the hell on earth that depression spills on us with no regard for who we are or what else may be going on. I am also bi-polar and a recovering person that lay in bed for 1 year because a sponsor told me I was not sober if I took my medication (or “crutch”). The thing that helped me get thru the darkest times was when I was living on my own with no family – (having gotten away from them several years before in order to avoid anymore damage)and no friends (even if people are not judging you-which most of them do- they just don’t understand and walk away from you). Well,I was living on my own laying in bed 24-7 with severe major depression, Chronic fatigue syndrome so bad that I would have to crawl from my bed to the refigerator to get some of my green leafy veggies to help me from passing out whilw all the time having long ramblings to God. I would say “you and me God, me and you!” while crying and struggling to get back into bed and praying not to pass out before I did. The ironic part of all of that was it was”the best of times and the worst of times”. The worst of times is obvious but the best of times because of the close intense relationship and knowingness I had to God (Spirit). We would have long talks. I would go on and on and cry and scream, etc., etc., and by the end of my conversation I’d calm down enough to hear answers and thoughts that were so sane and calm and loving. They were reassuring and peaceful with answers that I knew were not from me and I would be so happy because I got to not just to talk with God, but he gave me answers as well. I knew it was not me because 1.) I did not know that thing that I thought of and 2.) I don’t talk that way- the way I heard it in my head. Now that I am further down the road and I speak with others going thru tough things,I can share with them those things I went thru and how it brought me closer to God and “my real reason for being here”. As a human being I feel angry at those people that did judge me, abandoned me and abused me(which was basically everyone, but my psychiatrist, therapist and God) but as Spirit I am grateful for everything and everyone for what happened and what people did because of all I learned Spiritually – it has been a gift.

Wow! I can’t believe I found this! Depression and spirituality go hand in hand. Well, for the ones that struggle through the pain and despair. The days were the world is flat…2 demensional…all gray. My whole life I’ve not “ticked” the way others do. Do not get my fill in the world of “consumerism.” Not that i am above material things…its a small bonus, consolation…but not the filler of the black hole that seems bottomless at times. I need this site more than ever now. After becoming a mom, i realized how much self-reliance I had for “fixing” myself or taking care of and maintaining myself while being depressed. People whom I could speak to as well, that I don’t even have the brain power to remember their number anymore. It has been scary these past 3 years…trying to obtain type “A” status in helping support our family and raising a daughter and maintaining an ever growing and flourishing marriage. I’m sooo far from the on-the-go woman. I long for times of reflection, peace, time to really “feel” my daughters soul and how it intertwines with mine. I am very scared of failing them one day (husband & daughter). I’ll be too depressed to function, to perhaps not be there emotionally or physically. I have much anxiety about that.