I know a blogger who is almost in big trouble. She doesn’t have a little ‘chemical imbalance’. She is afflicted with a brain DISEASE every bit as real and tragic as Alzheimer’s—oh we have the colorized brain scans to demonstrate the striking areas of brain damage/neuronal death/neuroanatomical indications of disease/. Depression is not caused by a chemical imbalance–that’s 15 years out of date. Depression results from a frighteningly serious brain disease; the symptoms can be traced to specific parts of the brain that show shrinkage/death/etc ( I know I keep posting this message….but I need to until there are ears that can hear’). The Third world is afflicted by bacterial, viral, microbial, parasitic illnesses that could be cured with currently available medicines. The First world is afflicted by a brain disease that has no cure. You would never suggest you were remiss for having trouble walking if you had MS or polio. Suffering is everywhere and in the same places we find beauty. I pray a blogger will start some fine foundation to minister to those tortured by mood disorders. Maybe, the Third world afflictions are best left to someone in the Third world. As you know, Mother Theresa spoke sadly of the profound diseases of the ‘First world’. That said, I find myself ready to board plances to fly to far off places to stop the slave trade-especially young girls and women enchained to the ‘sexual tourism industry’……..I think I get stopped because I would surely sin if I found the predators. No killing–but maiming–afraid so.

Why go to other countries to help when there are so many in our own country that need help and assistance?

I ONLY GET DEPRESSED BECAUSE OF ONE THING-I AM SENT VISIONS AND PREMONITIONS THAT ARE SO REAL, BUT ONLY REALIZE THAT THEY ARE DREAMS (NOT REALITY) AFTER IT IS TOO LATE AND THE PERSON DIES. I CAN’T UNDERSTAND WHY I AM PRIVY TO THESE PSYCHIC WAVES WHEN I CANNOT DO ANYTHING ABOUT THEM. THIS HAS BEEN HAPPENING SINCE I WAS 8-35 YEARS-AND IS NOW THE ONLY THING THAT DEPRESSES ME

WHEN MY SON WHO WOULD WAKE US UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND SAY HE HAD A BAD DREAM. THE NEXT DAY SOMETHING TRAUMATIC WOULD HAPPEN……I RAN OVER A CAT ETC. AT OUR CHURCH SOMEONE SAID MY SON SHOULD PRAY FOR WHATEVER HE SEES COULD HAPPEN. WE TOLD HIM THIS AND AFTER A BAD DREAM NOTHING HAPPENED THAT WE KNEW ABOUT. A FEW WEEKS LATER WE GET A LETTER FROM A RELATIVE TELLING US THEIR SON WAS ALMOST RUN OVER.

i, too, suffer from depression…as well as other mood disorders, to the point that i am unable to work and live on disability income. i have weaned myself off all meds with the exception of one antidepressant, due to the fact that their side effects were outweighing the benefits. In order to keep myself as mentally healthy as possible, i focus on what i am able to do for others…whether volunteering at my child’s school, driving an elderly neighbor to the doctor, or mentoring kids. i also try to spend my time with people who encourage each other. If i’m having a low day, i can choose to stay home. i try to keep in prayer to learn what God wants me to do on a daily basis. It’s not easy, but i feel i am learning to rely more on God as a result of my situation…and yes, i also have big dreams…i’m learning to take the small daily steps. And often i think i learn more by doing the little things.

Theresa, going through similiar hard time with my invalid Dad. Hated sounds of ringing phones because i knew i was being ‘summoned’ time & again to help my stepmom or my sister with his care. Have deep anger at his situation (which I blame him for because he has always been filled with self-pity, self-involvement). Any way, to keep my family together i’ve had to pray to Our Lady of Prompt Succor to hasten to help me! & for 2007 my motto is “GET OVER IT & GET ON WITH IT!”. First step was volunteering to care for him Saturday. It tried my patience but no doubt there were blessings from that time we had together. I wiped tears from my dad’s eyes. He asked my name. I made him laugh. & through that long day, I felt closer to God than I had ever in the presence of my father. The Book of Sirach says it all: “…kindness to a father will not be forgotten, It will serve as a sin offering–It will take lasting root. In time of tribulation it will be recalled to your advantage, like warmth upon frost it will melt away your sins.” My goal this year is to get healthier & to bring more smiles to my dad’s face–AND I’M GETTING ON WITH IT!

I too have suffered from depression all my life. Until today I fought it, now after my boyfriend has told me he will pay for me to get out of his life, I chopse to get help. Several years ago my second husband left me for a woman he had an affair with for2 1/2 years. When the affair started I began to get more depressed not knowing why he was emotionally desserting me. After struggling to survive, I meet someone I loved and believed in. I tried to help him with a child his wife deserted while she waited 3 years for her boyfriend to divorce his wife. I tried to help the daughter and his father but was treated with resentment and didrespect. I begged him to get us all in therapy. WEvetually the wife remarried and started to compensate for her absence. Things got worse to the point that I spent Christmas with his relaives at our “home” and was the victim of a n outburst of ” both him and I being trashed by the tennagers including his child. My boyfriends mother called and told him that I was destroying his child and I didn’t belong. All I wanted to do was feed and entertain his family for the 5 days they stayed in our home. He verbally assualted me as a result and I have been serverely depressed for the past year to the point I can barely work. Every few days I have severe anxiety attacks, fearing that once again that someone I love will dessert me again. And now I think it will happen. I’m leaving for a friends for the weekend to find somewhere to live since my fear of rejection, inferiority, etc. has lead me to having no friends. I can’t help my feelings, all I want is to be loved and respected something I have never had. I thought I was a bright college graduate, I loved my horses, dogs, running, cooking and creative activities. Now I can barely make it through a day and have lost all dreams and hopes. At 48 I can almost not make it through a day of running my one person house cleaning business. I feel dirty, lonely and hopeless. All joy is gone and my Dad tells me it’s all my fault and my boyfriend is leaving the house with his child with instructions for me to go away because my selfishness is ruining his life. I wish I could vanish. All I want is love which explains the cat , 2 horses and 3 dogs I have which I will lose when I lesve. I’ve never been at a point of total lost faith and ability to function but I’m there and being treated like I’m a leper.

My daughter is 26 years old and has the other extreme. She gets depressed some of the time but mostly she is manic at least around me. She carries a lot with four young children and a husband who is at times so unfeeling that it is unbelievable. I don’t live with them and the best thing I can do for her is to let her know that I love her , her feelings and emotions need to be considered by herself and her family as well. She takes medication which helps her immensely. She works fast food part time and enjoys being away from the demands made on her by her family. Ofcourse the bipolar is with her at work also. I think she could do with more support from her spouse ( Truly spoken as a mother-in-law), He feels his job is done when he comes through the door after work and he tunes up the computer and plays games continuously. His idea of discipline is to send the children to thier rooms. He rarely is interested in family activities , but then maybe he is too tired from working for interest in anything else. The oldest child is 6, the youngest 2-1/2. I should also mention that she is 1 yr 2 months post gastric bypass surgery and is more beautiful now as a grown woman than she was in her high school days. So let’s all carry good thoughts for those who depend on us and recognize that we are helping in recovery one way or the other.

I been told by two different doctors i am bi- polar i still having trouble understand that could be true. over happly over sad alot more sad than happy but when happy comes it like not a problem in the world .and depression hits i want to really give up ! My personality is such different ranges that most would think i am on drugs when i am not. I have never had a problem sleeping in my life untill the last 4 months or so i just cant sleep untill my body says to . i took more sleeping pill recently and they didnt put me to sleep not even close. I am not on any drugs however caffenine pills and sleeping pills and over counter stuff took its place. I have many relationships with men but unable to let someone get to close to me fear of being hurt mostly not thinking i am good enough beside sex never thinking i desereved to be loved i guess.I had trouble in constration in school one on one i could do good. most grades barely passed and some i failed but got push through untill 9th grade i quit . as adult i struggle with just having normal days i am either too happy or too sad with normal period in between. i dont know how to really balance money i cant be very shy at times and outgoing . I feel i have to be drinking or something else to have a good personality. I am scared of the world alot afraid of people at times and feel most people do not like me . I carry a jacket with me alot one i think because i gain alot of weight but two because it makes me feel safe i guess . I have moments when want to hide from the world . I have only had two friends outside of work didnt like many people around me . get over nervous in stores crowds etc. I have moments when i feel 15 years old and moments when i feel grown up.I have major crying spills that i cant stop that can go on for days . i gone through weeks and months really of not wanting and not really getting out of bed . taking sleeping pills wishing to not wake up at times. God has keep me here because so many times I could have took to much but still woke up .I have extreme love for family that makes me try any more nothing i feel i do for me but i try everyday not to let life get me for them. If it was just me i would have let go long ago.My moods are so different that at times i see myself pulling into on comming traffic to make it end. I feel every job will fire me and someday i will be homeless due to things within me.I have always dreamed and talked about going back to school just didnt understand what was wrong in learning . i very much can learn but at different pace then others and different ways. I very mcuh can read but i get overly confused when trying to learn when reading the words seemed to learn i can read but not take in what i read . can on something and can on others like too much words all on paper .the point to learning and reading is i get to confused to easliy and give up. The addictions i gone through had to do with food pills and need for other things i guess.I do and say things on impulse i guess and cause people to not like me alot. most days i dont but on the over happy days sometimes i do. i lied to because i didnt understand things with me. i always felt the need to be faster or better .I been so misjudge in my life from gay to other things because no one understands me either. the hardest part i deal with is to know i wasted so much of my life feeling not good enough smart enough pretty enough to i hide from people because of these things . i find people that tend to help me not hurt me and i began to trust them . i feel most people want to hurt me. i feel ashame of my life my choices and I have a deep belief in God but feel i let even him down all the time. I have gave up most things I done wrong but they go on to other thing i feel impulsive when it comes to control how many pills i take to sleep like i dont care at the time. The reason i am still here is two reason i belive in God so much ny fear of enternal hell kicks in and my family . My thoughts are gettiing better now that i am on medicine it has made me stop the need for alot of things and i havent even took it that long.I do belive people have noticed a change and so have i with the medicine . i see a future for me when i didnt see any.

sir my behaviour is also getting rude… i shirk work and look excuses to to sit ideal and think and think useless. i will run mad something.