Beyond Blue

Beyond Blue

Not Just a Fever

posted by Beyond Blue | 10:45am Monday February 5, 2007

Two boys went to bed with fevers last night. One is dead. The other is my David.

I have to wonder if the guardian angels are vacationing in Florida this month, because too many little guys have fallen asleep for good in this zip code.

In Katherine’s preschool class, a little boy lost his three-month-old brother to SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome). No explanation. Cooing one minute. Gone another. And at her playgroup this morning a mom couldn’t stop crying.

“Sorry,” she apologized to the group. “My daughter’s seven-year-old classmate and friend died last night. He went to bed with a fever and had no pulse in the morning.”

“Wait a minute,” I wanted to say. “This isn’t Iraq or Afghanistan. Healthy American kids don’t go to sleep alive and wake up dead. Not in Annapolis. Not unless they’ve been diagnosed with a terminal illness. And those are so, so rare. They almost never happen.”

As I looked at this mom’s tearful eyes, I held David’s flushed hand (he still had his fever), and I felt like a weasel for griping to myself the entire drive to the playgroup about how impossible it was to meet a writing deadline when I had a sick kid to take care of. I couldn’t do it, not without staying up past midnight, and I had already gone over my quota for the week. (If I stay up more than three nights in a week, I’ll trigger a manic episode and then crash into a bad depression. I can’t afford to do that now that I am writing this blog about how I try to stay sane.)

But my crammed schedule and impending late night seemed like a fabulous party compared to this friend of a friend’s tragedy.

I took my sick boy home and did something I never do…put my computer to sleep so I couldn’t see the new e-mails streaming in.

“What do you want to do?” I asked David. “We have two hours until we have to pick up your sister.” I walked over to the eight pieces of blue construction paper, an “ocean” that his babysitter had posted on the kitchen wall to house all the sea creatures he had colored and cut out at school. “Should we add more seahorses or octopuses?”

And I remembered what Gayle Boss wrote in her essay “Enduring Boredom” for my book, “I Love Being a Mom” (compiled back when my Prozac was working):

“Domestic tedium, like any desert, has tuned my eyes and ears to the subtle, the hidden, to the still, small voice that directs from within: See this child in the tub, flushed and reaching for you? This is the Presence in the present. This is holy ground, and it is more than enough. Be here.”



Previous Posts

Rewire Your Brain For Love: An Interview with Marsha Lucas, Ph.D.
In the spirit of Valentine's Day, I thought I’d feature an interview with a very cool licensed psychologist and neuropsychologist that I was lucky enough to meet in person at a book signing back in September. Marsha Lucas, Ph.D., has been practicing psychotherapy and studying the brain-behavior re

posted 6:00:56am Feb. 14, 2012 | read full post »

Love Deeply ...
Valentine's Day is a good time to remember all the ways we can be loving, not just to the guy/gal sitting across from you at the kitchen table, but also your boss, your mother, your boss's mother, and her mother. One of my very favorite reflections from Henri Nouwen is "Love Deeply," found in hi

posted 6:00:28am Feb. 13, 2012 | read full post »

Therapy Thursday: Sweat
I have decided to dedicate a post on Thursday to therapy, and offer you the many tips I have learned on the couch. They will be a good reminder for me, as well, of something small I can concentrate on. Many of them are published in my book, "The Pocket Therapist: An Emotional Survival Kit." Work

posted 6:01:57am Feb. 09, 2012 | read full post »

Scrupulosity: What It Is and Why It's Dangerous
If you sprinkle a hefty dose of Catholic (or Jewish) guilt unto a fragile biochemistry headed toward a severe mood disorder, you usually arrive at some kind of a religious nut. Not that there’s anything wrong with that! For I am one. I have said many places that growing up Catholic, for me, was

posted 6:17:35am Feb. 07, 2012 | read full post »

The Treasures of Darkness
We often equate darkness with sorrow, misery, get-me-the-hell-out-of-here reaction. At least I do. That’s why I keep a mammoth Happy Lite on my smallish cubicle at work. But darkness can also be a treasure. Say what? J. R. Miller writes this in “From Streams in the Desert” by L. B. C

posted 6:06:40am Feb. 06, 2012 | read full post »

Advertisement
Comments read comments(3)
post a comment
midge

posted February 6, 2007 at 3:37 am


first of all, I would pray for God to cover the affected families with his perfect peace.Then ask Him to speak to their hearts, and tell them that these babies are saints and they are in the arms of Jesus as we speak. The Bible states, paraphrasing absent from the body, present with the Lord.I would hope that this horrific experience would lead them to become Christians. If they already are Christians, I would pray that this would strengthen their faith.



report abuse
 

David Kuo

posted February 6, 2007 at 3:24 pm


You are a beautiful writer and thank you for lifting our sight above, oh, us.



report abuse
 

rhonda

posted February 7, 2007 at 3:43 pm


This story upsets me!! I feel for the women that lost her boy–cause i’m in the same situation with a grandson that’s 6yrs. He has had 5 seisures since Jan.23rd 2007–No one knows why–so he gets to go to Portland, Or.to the childrens hospital to find out….Why wouldn’t that mother take her boy to the DR. or did she? If so, then we can maybe think God had taken the child instead of having that child suffer from some horriable sickness…. I give all my comfort and love to the mother of the boy and hope and pray she’s well and not dwelling on the death of her son..CELEBRATE HIS LIFE,FOR HIM!! I myself just lost a neice (24yrs old) to a drunk driver, she died he lived. It’s not fair to lose an innocent child and have a loser live!! GOD BE WITH YOU EVERYONE RHONDA



report abuse
 

Post a Comment

By submitting these comments, I agree to the beliefnet.com terms of service, rules of conduct and privacy policy (the "agreements"). I understand and agree that any content I post is licensed to beliefnet.com and may be used by beliefnet.com in accordance with the agreements.

Share this story


About Beliefnet

Our mission is to help people like you find, and walk, a spiritual path that will bring comfort, hope, clarity, strength, and happiness. More about Beliefnet.

Help

Media Kit

Subscribe

Legal

Copyright © Beliefnet, Inc. and/or its licensors. All rights reserved. Use of this site is subject to Terms of Service and to our Privacy Policy. Constructed by Beliefnet.

Advertisement

Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.