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The date night before Valentine’s Day was the evening Eric and I almost got shot. Again, in an effort to put our worries and responsibilities aside for a moment and have fun.
Psychologists advice against talking about your kids on date night, so I stuck to my usual conversation topics: our lab-chow’s ear infection and overgrown nails, my shrinking pituitary tumor (my periods are regular again!), and the fungus on my toenail that seemed to be disappearing.
Now Eric is good enough listener (especially for a guy). But he spent the first half of our dinner looking out the window behind me, mesmerized, as if he were watching ET ride a bike.
“What’s your problem?” I asked him. Was something out there more interesting than my toenail fungus?
He grimaced, wearing a concerned expression that didn’t suit a romantic dinner.
A minute later, a rough-looking street guy ran through the doors of our quaint Greek restaurant yelling, “He’s got a gun!”
After a loud exchange between him and the manager just a few feet from our table, the man left. And Eric filled me in on the drug deal he had witnessed, followed by a chase between two dudes, followed by another chase between the druggies and a pair of policemen.
But this much is good: I knew that my meds were working and that I was in a good place, because my immediate reaction to the gun alarm was fear (of dying), not relief (to die). I had too many things planned…like seeing my kids graduate from high school, and meeting my grandkids, and of course more date nights with a distracted husband.
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Therese J. Borchard writes the daily blog, Beyond Blue, on Beliefnet and is a regular contributor to the award-winning blog, World of Psychology, on Psych Central. Therese is the author of Beyond Blue: Surviving Depression & Anxiety and Making the Most of Bad Genes and The Pocket Therapist: An Emotional Survival Kit. Subscribe to Beyond Blue, visit her website, or follow her on Twitter @thereseborchard.
Meet others on the journey in
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Therese J. Borchard writes the daily blog, Beyond Blue, on Beliefnet and is a regular contributor to the award-winning blog, World of Psychology, on Psych Central. Therese is the author of Beyond Blue: Surviving Depression & Anxiety and Making the Most of Bad Genes and The Pocket Therapist: An Emotional Survival Kit. Subscribe to Beyond Blue, visit her website, or follow her on Twitter @thereseborchard.
posted February 27, 2007 at 7:58 pm
Loved that and I can so relate!
posted February 28, 2007 at 12:19 am
That was an awesome story! Thank you for sharing that. All too often, it’s easy to take certain things for granted, until we’re shown just how easily those things can be taken from us. God was certainly watching over you and your husband that night.
posted February 28, 2007 at 3:07 am
You were afraid of almost dying? Congratulations! (pause) Huh. That’s something I never expected to say.Anyway, glad you and your husband are alright, and that things are looking up for you. God bless.
posted February 28, 2007 at 4:08 am
The urge to stay alive is the strongest natural urge homo sapiens have, for goodness sake! It is the healthier choice than “fear of not dying.” Good for you, Therese; you’ve come a long way, Baby – and may there be many more “un-distracted” dates with that wonderful husband of yours!
posted February 28, 2007 at 11:19 pm
your last paragraph on how you knew the meds were working based on your reaction to a life threat really affected me. i was in a house fire 9 years ago inwhich i lost family and was in critical condition myself; where afterwards and since i know i have still been in a timeless daze because i have thought to myself how i am not afraid to die. about a year later i was snorkling in la jolla and a white shark probably 17 feet long swam by me. i thought, “if it was before the fire i would of freaked out on that.” i have always not believed in meds because i also have tourette syndrome and, let’s just say they are a long way from having some truly effective medicine for it. i am smart enough to know my depression, but for some reason how you put the fear of dying in your small write seemed to do a lot for me. it makes me want to “be” again and stop accepting this caloused view i have had since march 28 1998. thank you.
posted March 6, 2007 at 2:15 am
How wonderful it must be to realize you are getting better. I know the joys this feeling can bring. After going through a terrible financial collapse many years ago and suffering a mental crash, I knew I was getting better when my love for planting rose bushes came back to me several years later, it was a wonderful feeling. I share your joy.
posted March 6, 2007 at 1:49 pm
I think your Med’s are working to well and you need to see a doctor, you maybe over medicated fear is a normial reaction ,and God gave it to you for a reason, learning how to react is part of growing up,and if you want to keep your date happy i wouldnt talk about those subjects they really should be personal and keep to yourself ,,
posted March 6, 2007 at 10:43 pm
This is a note to Richard Doin who claims that your medications are working too well and that just because God gave you the normal reaction of fear that you should evidently let it rule your life. God may have given us the reaction of fear for a purpose, but that reason does not have to be “fear for fear itself.” What I’m trying to say is that you controlled your fear and therefore did not get yourself and your date shot to death. I’ve seen fear react in just the opposite way. One of my friends was killed in the Luby’s in Killeen, Texas because she overreacted. She went all hysterical and got herself shot, along with several others. It is good to have fear to some degree, but when it affects the outcome of your life in a negative way, then I say that you should leave fear out of the picture and just praise God for giving you the faith it takes to realize the following: “Let me remain calm and dear God please take care of me and everybody else around me. Your will be done.”