I really love you for writing so honestly and I have been exactkly there in healthcare company cubicle weeping in tremendous grief noone should have to deal with, especially working under stress injured for life and you cannot talk about it. . Your sense of humor astonishes me. I think we are twins. My body has limited my physical activity that allowed me to ast away from my minds overwhelming desire to “work” things out. Now I sit more and write peotry. And have joined a poetry group once a month. I am actually very good, and would love to get some of it out to the world. Oh but we must find our laughing heart under any kind of bi-polar, physical pain.Heavy medication and change in lifestyle, by force or circumstance. No matter. YOu make me laugh. We are true actors. I used to work with a 76 years old nurse (ahem!) who somehow managed with her years of Rn prowess to move her way into the medical office I worked at and played every kind of headgame there was. I think she wrote the book. Until after three years I just said “see ya”. I listened to her fake loud laughter long enough. And her meddling had no end. The male physician, I worked for was obtuse and at the risk of losing me (the real worker bee) he let her continue on in her charaids to the detriment of me. Who paid for me walking out? He did for a few months. Unemployment. Since then my pain physician and fabulous MD has said “Stop!” I am! Now my direction is focused on understanding the mind/body chronic pain thing, and the wellness thing. Well! needless to say thank God for you Teresa. You go girl! I am 51 and very talented and need help getting a biblical poetry powerpoint presentation published.I have decided to put to poetry the major stories everyone knows. Daniel in the Lions den, Christ writing in the sand, Jonah and the whale etc. they are realy good. I would like to hear from you so that I may send you a copy and get your feedback. Now that would be excellent. Any suggestions my love? Thanks Robin abigstepup@yahoo.com or colorlover@juno.com We are not nuts! Just unique. There is one thing I cannot deny even in a depressive state of mind. ” We all have a flicker or flame inside of us, we are the ones who blow it up or blow it out. We alone can do that. But it sure is nice to have cake to put it on.” I think this forum is the cake. Thanks for baking.

One more comment: I will be sure to spell check before posting. Tee Hee Are those real words? Robin

In the USA, unfortunately,there is an unspoken code of conduct where we are asked to not be very emotional, stoic indeed, about a great many things at work and for a lot of people in personal relationships too. A mild pox on the emotionally frozen world–so they may learn to feel! It may not just be tears of grief, but also those of deep emotion, or expression of concerns over others, that may trigger workplace speculation about mental health. Sadly, we can not move the mountain, so to speak, of the stioc. I personally choose to feel and express my emotions because life is better that way. Im still successful professionally. But I have had a few conversations around my personal situation because of what I chose to express. I’m OK with explaining to people who don’t feel the same way, or express feelings the same way. They get to choose their style too. Early adulthood was no fun trying to figure out when/where/with whom any particular emotion was “approved.” I feel what I do, express what I do, moderating depending on the formality of the situation, but in the end–it’s my life. It’s your life. Live it already!

I recently “recovered” from a 2 year bout of depression. Actually I’m feeling so much better. I’m more confident and need less support than I did previously. I had an opportunity to volunteer in the rectory office at the church which I belong to not long after the death of my spouse. I went for a day of training and was all set to “take the job” and couldn’t. I realized that my depression was deep seated and many of the doings at church revolved around the one thing I was depressed over. So I had to turn down an opportunity to help others..I was quite upset over it, but truthfully my mental health was not what it should have been so therefore, I couldn’t..Today I’m a new me, amen. I’ve just started a “job,” one that pays and it is very convenient. The hours are to my liking (nights) and a very casual atmosphere. I’m very happy. I get to meet lots of new people as it’s a coffee shop..So many to talk to and I’m able to do the job without fear of crying at any given moment…At last I’m starting to feel as I am worth something, a value to someone and can contribute to society for a change. The volunteering is out anyway, as they have all they need. So good luck to anyone in this situation. Not an easy one but one to overcome, even if it takes 2 years or longer….

I was written up on one job and outright fired from a second due to crying on the job. (Both were within the company’s probation period, when you can be fired for any reason the employer chooses.) I was the new person on the job, and was bearing the brunt of the BS that new workers do when they hire on, and the supervisor (s) considered the tears as “not being able to perform the basic tasks the job(s) called for.” So, in this small town, where everyone knows everyone, I quickly got a rep as a person who flits from job to job, and can’t handle the stress of same. I am now (barely) making ends meet as self – employed, but happy as I’ve ever been. (I even allow myself to cry — I’m the boss. ) There’s no way in HELL I’ll ever work for anyone else again.

Before I went into business for myself I worked for two complete punks who used extremely foul language on the job and tolerated it from the men. I complained about it once and I was dragged into a meeting where the bosses were screaming and hollering at the men in front of me. Using foul language again. I did not break down in front of anyone, but my eyes filled with tears as I walked back to my desk after refusing to stay and hear all the cursing and fuss. Due to this incident, I will never ever work for others. You have to put up with too much abuse.

People and how they view “work” disgusts me. As people can see why there are work-related illnesses in the long run, such as strokes and heart attacks relating from stress. People view “work” as a person being a robot supposed to operate perfectly all the time, not to showcase anything going on at home…we are HUMAN, and there are some things that are extremely overwhelming that the inner body at some point WILL break down, and thats where the tears come in. And if the tears are KEPT in, then theres well the long run illnesses come into play. Work more than anything has caused people to be stressed out and have these emotional breakdowns, and I think it’s utterly terrible. This is why myself and others wish for the day where work from home ads will become legit.

I’m taking the opposing view here. I’m a woman and I manage 11 women. Imagine what we go through as a team… Of those 11, I have two who cry – a lot. Their inability to control their emotions (or take them out of the public environment) has created havoc within the department and the company. They can barely be coached, no less critisized, for fear that they’re going to burst into tears. None of the team members want to get too close to them because you never know when they’re going to go off the deep end about something. They are not as productive as my other employees because they need constant attention and reassurance and/or they’re so distraught by some issue that they can’t concentrate. They are perceived by the upper management (granted, mostly men) as being “problem” employees. And…just to clarify, I was originally concerned that they were both depressed and encouraged them to seek help. I have mentored both and have determined that their emotional nature is simply part of who they are. Now, do I think that people should not have emotions?? Of course not. BUT, do I think that we need to know when and where it’s appropriate to show those emotions? Absolutely. The workplace is not your home and your cooworkers are not your family. Take it out of the office (or to the bathroom, or your car…) but turn off the waterworks in the workplace.

When we were growing up some childern were taught that they should never cry. That they should be strong, and be grown up. This is especially true of boys. And it can cause alot of emotional problems later on in life. As for Girls well, I was told to be strong and not cry, take your licks and be strong and move on. But that was hard. I did cry in work once, my boss just belittled me so much I could not take it anymore. I got ridculed for it too. But I put it in the lords hands and it took six months but my boss came and said he was sorry for what he had done to me. I have learned over the years, to take my emotions and my tears home, and cry in private, or get in my car and go some place private and let it out. I find its best for me. I do not show my emotions much anymore to any one but God. Some people just do not understand at all. The only one really who understands is God.

I was recently fired from a job for being tardy. I was having a lot of health, family and marital issues going on in my life. I thought my boss understood what was going on. Yes, I had days when I cried. In these cases, I took my self out of public view when possible and continued to do my job. My boss came to me and said that she didn’t know what we were going to do with me and my waterworks. I told her there was nothing I could do. I had so much going on in my life, I was in therapy and I was working very hard to get my life straightened out. I asked her to please be understaning and patient with me. I was giving 110% to my job and always stayed over without needing to be asked. I was finally getting things together, a lot fewer days with less tears. Still working hard, was late twice. FIRED!!! So, I sat there and cried and asked her why?? Just when I’m getting things straightend out now you fire me, why now? She says now maybe you can get your life in order. Well, thanks alot!! So, tears in the work place. Sometimes you just can’t help it. When you’re dealing with extreme stress, depression, and anxiety it can be very difficult. Especially if you wear your emotions on your sleeve. Which is not a bad thing. At least you won’t be called an unfeeling, heartless person. I say hang in there. Walk in your faith in God. Keep Praying!!

I agree with the anonymous woman who manages 11 women. I am a manager myself and had one employee that cried alot. I’m a compassionate person but work is not the place to cry – especially all the time. Believe me I’ve cried at work- but I did everything I could to hide it. There’s nothing wrong with being an emotional person, but it just doesn’t fly with other employees and especially upper management. It’s not professional. If you can’t handle it – get out.

This is to “0xcf0714c” and “anonymous also”. I totally disagree with your negative stances regarding tears in the workplace, especially when the ones enforcing the rule are also the same ones BREAKING it. I have 10 bosses on my job and my 2nd boss has cried at her desk and gets away with it. Why? Because she’s a boss, and I’m just a clerk. To the 2 people who think tears are not appropriate let me tell you something – try walking a mile in the shoes of the person’s who offending your workplace and causing such a disruption to your precious little “professional” office. Chances are they may not have their lives together like you. I’m glad if you can hide your tears. Not everyone can be like you and to say it “doesn’t fly”, is “not profesional” is being nothing less than unconcerned. Sorry folks but we’re not all the same and there WILL be employees who handle workplace issues and stress in different ways. Learn to accept this and deal with it instead of simply shoving it aside by saying to get out.

I have supervised teams in the workplace. Some had family problems, drug problems, growing up problems, relationship issues. . .these all boiled down to emotional problems. Most of these are temporary, some need professional help. Every one handles them differently. As a leader of my team, I feel having empathy and or sympathy was a part of my “job”. However, that was the part that really wasn’t a “job”.
It was part of being a compassionate person and one of the ways I could view what as I doing as spritiual and satisfying. Yes, in the workplace there are jobs to do; but we don’t have robots working for us, we have human beings. As a leader, one needs to direct these people,
help them grow . . .if it means helping them to make a choice to leave their job, than so be it. People spend an enormous amount of their life in the workplace – emotions can’t get put on hold that long. Patience with a person having troubles can win you the utmost respect.

There is a workplace for every person on this planet. The challenge is uniting the person with the place.
Each person has the privilege and responsibility to locate that place, the place where it feels good to go each day. If, to feel good, the workplace needs to allow for occasional tears, include that in the list of ‘must haves’ for your job.
I have been involved in many different workplaces: entrepreneurial, corporate, open, restrictive, large (over 100,000 employees) and small(25 employees).
In these workplaces, I have ranged from being an empowered person to a victimized person, and all types in-between. Each of these situations has been my own creation. In each job I have always had the right to stay or leave. Sometimes fear and pain had to get to a disastrous level before I would make the (obvious) choice and leave.
One big learning/answer that I’ve received: As a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), there does need to be room for tears (& laughter!) in my workplace. I have found such a place, and I am grateful.
If it feels good (or can be made to feel good): stay.
If not, leave.
Thanks for allowing me to share.

I have to say as a manager in a Medical Practice who has 18 women working here I cannot express to you how crying women are perceived. Not only do other workers have to walk around tip toeing around the cry babies but I too have a difficult time taking diciplinary action against them. Get a grip people!! This is a business!! Not a daycare or shrink’s office. There is a time and place for it but work is NOT the place. I am a woman so to use the whole”women are more emotional” is a cop out!! You only alienate yourself to others and certainly don’t get the respect from upper management.I have emotions but I don’t break down everytime someone or something hurts my feelings.I save that for my husband at home. Leave your tears at home or don’t get a job. It is NOT the employers job to counsel you in your personal problems. Seek out the Lord and HE will give you peace!!!

I am in the belly of depression and have to take it to work with me every day. Some days are better than others. My boss is tolerant, but we don’t like each other. I happen to be an emotional person in the clutches of depression, and I happen to be dependent on my job. It’s not a bad job; I get decent enough pay (but not nearly enough to pay my bills) and my commute is painless. I used to love it, but now it just adds to my depression. It is unfilling and boring and I feel guilty about not liking it. Today was a tough one. Sometimes I want to just quit and suffer the consequences. But I usually end up pulling myself up by the bootstraps and forcing myself to be responsible. I can find nothing hopefull in my life right now and going to work feels like such pressure. I wish someone would take care of me for once. I am doing everything I should be doing, but NOTHING is happening. Nothing gets better. Seems things just get worse.

I have to admit that I’ve cried in my office, tho it’s usually only be due to extreme stress, and I’m workign on clamping down the water works.
I think that it is okay to cry in the office under some circumstances (ie…pet/family member just died suddenly and still dealing with it), but not so much so that it is interupting the everyday work flow. Or becomes a ‘habit.’

I feel I must respond to this topic. I too am a highly sensitive person and have on occassion cried at the office (usually hidden from others). I agree with whoever said we spend alot of time in the office and we are not robots. We sometimes just can’t put feelings on hold until we get home. Sometimes trouble with family at home or whatever, carries over into the workplace. That does not keep me from doing my job.
Being a woman may or may not have anything to do with it. But I just have to address Manager Amie in the Medical Office. “Leave your tears at home or don’t get a job??”…………I feel sorry for the people and the patients at your office, not to mention your husband!!
I don’t ask my employer for counseling. If I need it I get it myself. Most of us have to work and yes, I pray every day (especially those depression days) for the strength to get through another day.
Until you’ve walked in someone else’s shoes, Amie, please don’t judge.
To Linda, I am so sorry for your pain. Just know there are people out here that are dealing with depths of depression. Take Care.

I’ve never posted anything, but it is ironic how I just happen to come across this topic. I just “quit” my job yesterday. Actually, I was told to quit or be fired, I chose to quit. I too have depression and so this does follow you to work, it’s not something I can leave by the work door to pick up again when I come home.
My problem was my co-worker who was a real bully. She must of co-wrote that book on playing mind games. She worked crying to her advantage however. We did not get along, and was frequently called into the boss’s office for something or other, and yes towards the end I did shed a few tears because I was so frustrated that she believed my co-worker over me. It was a she said/she said kind of thing and the “weeper” got believed.
My boss has opening admitted that she like this co-worker better than me and that I am making things up. She is a little lady with a cute little accent and her sympathic little “oh my is there something I did wrong” act was what won the boss over at the end.
I know it is for the better that I am out of there, but as you can probably tell am very angry that I was not believed. That was my dream job and paid well, and was 5 minutes from my home. I am angry that she took that from me.
Anyway, I’m rambling, I do that. What my point is…what was my point again? Oh yeah, tears can be used very effectively in the work place depending on how the boss takes it. She told me to “get myself together” and handed her a tissue and asked if she wanted to go home for the day?.
I also work..worked in a medical clinic. For the lady pre mentioned who was a little tough, I just ask that you really weigh both sides of the story, crying can be real and crying can be a great big act.

It is a sad time for me also, I am going through a seperationa with domestic abuse involved. and there are times when my significant other calls and I get all emotional, sometimes, mad sometimes sad, sometimes I even cry imagine that I am a normal human being, and sometimes things like this happens to the best of us!!! It is called life! and sometimes your boss or supervisor should have some understanding about your situation, it is not one you wished for it just happened, what are your suppose to do! You have to deal with it, it hurts like hell and you just don’t know what to do with yourself…. Sometime you will CRY! it is nornaml, people where is the sympathy we should have for one another? I wish and I pray that every day is better for me but I am a human being afer all,,, But believe me, I will get past this pain and hurt and one day the tears will be dried! That is the Day I am waiting for!!!!

Do you get up and pray before you go to work, because I know exactly the way you feel. My boss does not like me either, I’m battling depression. Doy you take medication or something? How is your thought life? Do you think depressing thoughts all the time, or do you try to think on other things (positive things)?

I can identify with all of your comments…even though I am not at work now but I am in a Nursing Home setting & I still don’t feel like I can cry in front of others. Perhaps it’s not others who are not compassionate (although it sometimes is) when people cry but the horrible stigma society has put on the display or sharing of emotion that makes us at least try to cry in private. This type of limitation that is prevelent in the workplace also only drives the depressed person further underground into their depression. You would think in a place such as this where everyone has terrible problems & diseases & where depression is almost the accepted norm that people would be more sympathetic & supportive of each other but sadly that is not the case. Many look down their noses at the individuals who are old & lonely, or for different reasons are facing living the rest of their lives as paraplegics or quadriplegics, or have had 1 or several limbs amputated, or are victims of vicious strokes or other neuromuscular diseases, or are in end stages of different fatal diseases, and as many other heartbreaking diseases, or victims of accidents etc etc etc…I could go on forever…you would think people would go out of their way to support each other wouldn’t you? Fortunately for me I have Jesus as my supporter, my Savior,my friend, who lifts me up and carries me in His arms as in the sand, who listens to me & wipes my tears & sheds some Himself when I am sad, hurting, or feeling a little down…it is He who eradicates my depression, and soothes my wounded soul. This… He offers to do the same for ALL. Doesn’t this sound heavenly & wouldn’t it be nice if the workplace supported a scenario like this????

Just being able to cry and to cry more openly has been a huge blessing for me. I was born as a biological bi-gender and was a girl until I was 10, then my gender and hormone regimine was chosen for me so I lived as a male. I did an entire career in the US Navy/Submarines, was married with 2 sons, and retired from the military. I quit the hormones (finally!) after leaving the Navy and after my wife and I separated for our mututal health benefits (we are much closer now that we live 700 miles apart!). Anyway, the last time I cried before returning to a feminine role was the day I was told I would be a boy for the rest of my life. The next time I cried was after the DHT was stopped and my ovaries took their rightful place as hormone rulers of my body. It was maybe two months after the masc hormones were nearly gone from my system and I looked at a six week old Rottweiler puppy as she licked my nose. I remembered so many feelings and began again to appreciate colours, sounds of nature, and beauty as if I’d never known any of that before. Katie, the Rottie, went home with me that day and is five now. She is my constant companion. So anyway, I cry without a care of what others think; it’s part of being human, and if a co-worker can’t deal then too bad. I try to respect comfort levels and social settings. In a corporate environment or a power position I suppose tears have their place as signs of humanity, compassion, or caring. I work in a very small office/ business and travel with my (male) boss. I’m gonna cry now and then. He knows and accepts it now, and he hopes I’ll excuse myself if the tears start up in front of a client. I think once he realized he wasn’t responsible to ‘fix’ anything or was to ‘blame’ for the tears he was okay. Having been in his position for 30 years or more I understand the pressure he feels when a woman cries around a guy. I also understand the various permutations of male-female working relationships in regard to tears, and I choose to just let it happen. Thanks for the forum. Megan

When I was first hired by my workplace,I had promised myself that I was going to be positive. However, there was a great deal of negativity in the workplace (even prior to me working there) and unfortunately I was caught up in company politics. Despite the significant contributions I made to the company, I was fired for showing emotion in front on the general manager (who was a male) during a time of stress and did not receive any support from him. When he told me to leave, he said that I did not provide a high enough level of service, which I know was not true. I knew the real reason was because he was good friends with one of the ladies that I was working with and she was threatened by me. I also did not like her as she had a habit of talking loudly to herself (the woman had no inner monologue or consideration for others working with her)and she did not know how to use the words please and thank you. Anyway…she was the general manager’s pet (she was much, much better than me at stroking his ego)and constantly complained about me to him. However, he never confronted me, which is a reflection of his managerial skills. Despite this happening, I learnt three valuable lessons 1. Avoid showing any kind of “negative” emotion in the workplace (especially in front of men). 2. Either you accept the people you work with or you leave. Quitting your job is much better feeling than the feeling of being fired. 3. Sucking up to the boss can really get you what you want.

I cry, cry, cry! Anywhere and anytime around anyone. I feel that this is my right. I don’t put myself of on others or bother them with any of my problems. I just tell them that it is better and safe for everyone else if I cry. I don’t know what the deal is with my boss. One day he hates me and the next ay ge is all full of laughter and joy. At one time, this had began to take a toll on me because out of all the people that were not doing their work as they should, I was the one busting my tail doing everything that I was supposed to be doing plus what some of the others were supposed to be doing. I am glad that I have the option to cry, but one thing that I have learned that prayer dries up all the tears. so now when I cry, I pray.

Sometimes I cry internally, because of hurtful events in my life and feelings of lonliness. I was married 25 years when my husband told me he wanted to terminate the marriage because he no longer loved me. He wanted to experience other things in his life and remaining married to me was not one of them. My ex-spouse mentioned how he was a cancer survivor and had reach the age of 50. He wanted to experience relationships with men. He changed his last name for identity reasons and moved to another state. He is a pharmacist, so he did not want to deal with the shameful eyes from others in his profession. We lived in a small community. I constantly think of my past life and really have difficulty finding new love. I wonder if it is all possible for me to move on into another relationship. I am a profeesional women and many consider me attractive. Yet it seems so hard and I am enduring much lonliness. My emotions cause a few problems so I changed employers to have a fresh start. My boss was a female and she constantly kept nagging me unreasonably and it was quite annoying to be falsely accused of many issues.I quit my job and moved to another to keep from putting myself in a position of being fired.

Interesting that this was a topic that was addressed. I am a social worker and come into contact with many situations that would make anyone cry at the drop of a hat. After 17 years in the field I had to deal with a situation I did not know how to handle. I quickly learned how to deal with it. As a result of dealing with this situation I became emotional upset at work. I confided in a supervisor (not my direct supervisor) thinking that it was in great trust. As I was leaving that day, pulling out of the office parking lot in my OWN car, I was crying uncontrollably. This supervisor was outside when I was pulling away. She came up to my car to see if I was OK. After I pulled away didn’t this supervisor go directly to my supervisor to tell this person what happened. Several days went by and neither of those two persons came to me to see if I was OK! However, 5 days after the incident I was called into my supervisor’s office and written up. One of the things that my supervisor said to me was, “I will not allow someone else’s behavior to ruin my reputation.” The nerve.
After this do I think it’s OK to cry at work? Absolultely. What did I learn from this incident? Be careful who you trust!!!
The results: I don’t work there anymore.

yeah, wish i saw this weeks ago. started a new shift at work. so , new girl……… you always have 1 or 2 trouble makers. had a girl come up to me and say i heard you called me a big fat lazy bitch. whatever. without going into the whole speel, instead of me trying to talk cuz she would not let me get in a word, i cried. out of pure madness. of course there were things i could say. i don’t want to get fired. i believe it is managements fault for letting them bully. no one has said anything to these girls. whom i may add are adults. come on now. no one mgr wants to go to their superior and admit problems. i really want to. so the heads up have no idea that we have these bullies at work who attack the new people who mind their own business. any advise??? how do you not cry when you really want to stand up for yourself and yet you don’t want to give in to anyone.? i have cried many times at work. i regret all of them. but stick to my guns for never giving the reason to get called in the office cept for to defend myself………….. thanks for listening.

I also have a job where there is no humanity. I read it is better to quit than be fired but what do you do when you have to pay the bills? Quitting is not an option. Atleast if you are fired you can get unemployment.

In my opinion, never let anyone see you cry at work. Excuse yourself, hold it in and Take that to God. There are things in this world we can’t control but you should be able to control yourself. I have cried many times at work and when you have nosey people in your business it spells nothing but issues for you. We will all have personal and business issues that will make us want to cry and there is nothing at all wrong with crying!!!! But do it alone or with someone you know well enough that they can keep your business to themselves. People unknowingly give others control over them when they show that they are vulnerable. And believe me they will use that against you. So at all cost pray before you get to work and pray on your breaks and when you leave that place.
God bless you all and stay strong

Sometimes I cried uncontollably at work. Since I’ve been in constant therapy and under medication, my depression has improved, but there were months where I sat in my seat and tears would stream down my face. Yes, at some point I started to make many bathroom runs. I guess the most important thing is whether or not crying brings your personal problems into the office, thereby changing the professional environment. If you can cry in your cube or personal office and not engage the entire world, then go for it. It will make you feel better right? In my case it really didn’t, it made it hard for me to be able to focus on my job. Guess it’s hard to know what is okay when your body is reacting in such a way. Yes, depression is an illness. Anyone who tells you otherwise is seriously misinformed.

Oh yea! I believe it is ok to cry at work. Never say why!! I have a sick father that I live with. He sits in his chair, feet looks like two loaves of rising bread, will not try and walk, curse a lot, sleeps continously, defibralater, and all this adds up to heart failure. So when I get to my job, I am pretty choked up from watching him go down hill everyday. A few tears and a prayer to GOD for his mercy and his grace helps. His illness has lead me to depression. If I go some where other than work and stay to long or not do what I am to do for him it causes me to feel guilty which leads me to depression. I cannot help to think about this situation throughout the day. At times I shed a few tears just thinking about it. So, a few tears in the work place does not hurt. It is good for the soul, mind and heart. Eventually I will cry tears of joy in the work place! GOD BLESS all of you.

I agree on asking to be excused for “sickness”! I work in construction, and in todays world of construction, there is only 10% who know what they are doing, and are professionals. The rest create/cause bad name for the industry. I have got into my vechile and drove away to calm down/cry. came back and said I was feeling better. I am a man, and it is ok for a man to cry! (in private during working hours). Thanks

I cried at work when I lost my mother-in-law and cat in the same half an hour. I was fired!

Take it from personal experience NOT to cry at work. You’ll have two things happen…. The “caretaker/codependents” will want to “help” and then you’ll never get ANYTHING done. The rest of the people will see you as weak and will start planning action….either to tell management how “concerned” about you, or they’ll start planning what they can do to make you look worse to make themselves look stronger.
I lived it.
Barely.
I was suffering major depression. Many things going on. Family illness. Changes in my department. Conflicts in other departments that made my department an unplesant area (noise, verbal arguments, and then the ultimate culmination….a murder on site.) I worked in Employee Development.
One of my jobs was to facilitate classes in Workplace Violence. I took it seriously, and had worked very HARD to put people through a good class. Twelve hundred people. By myself. After the shooting, the boss said on the news “it happened because of poor Workplace Violence training”. I never got over it.
I started breaking down in class. Crying in front of people.
The vultures came out, and when that happened? I was gone. Out after 25 years.
DO NOT LET THEM SEE YOU CRY. The vultures will come out. And sometimes, you can’t tell who the vultures really are.

My sister starts work again at boeing this evening, she has Bipolar
as I do, but she lets low class mind trip pepole twiced her thoughts,
So she ends up stressed out, and uselly sick from it. for weeks.
I told her to email me or call me. And I will couch and help her thru.
Most inportent is don`t become like the once who treat you bad.
Open your eyes and remember you are a person too !
Hold yourself tight, and say I love you. And bless the once who don`t care !

WHEN MY WIFE PASED AWAY AFTER A LONG ILLNESS I CONTUINUED TO WORK I AM ON MEDICATION BECAUSE OF DEPRESSION MORE THAN ONE DAY IN WORK I WOULD JUST BREAK DOWN AND CRY THE PEOPLE I WORK WITH WOULD TRY TO HELP ME THROUGH THIS AND THE ONES WHO COULD CARE LESS DONT HAVE A CLUE WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH. THE ONLY PEOPLE YOU CAN TALK TO ARE THE PEOPLE THAT HAVE BEEN DOWN THE SAME ROAD AS YOU.

Crying at work, interesting. I recently lost my only brother to murder and the phone call came to me first on Friday, 1/13/06, friday the 13th has taken on a whole new meaning for me. I had such a meltdown and screaming,I must have startled the entire neighborhood or at least it felt like it. One co-worker had to drive my car and another followed her to get me home to my mother, who I had to tell the news, trying to get to her before the police arrived so she wouldn’t be alone when he was told. Well, I got there first and one of the two co-workers walked me inside and she felt awkward I guess and she just said I will leave you two alone. I work in HR and so I guess as a sign of solidarity? I don’t know the right term all the Directors and even the VP came to the funeral, I was in shock for what I was dealing with as well as seeing them all arrive. Well, fastforward. I ended in the hospital for a week due to low iron and finally made it back to work 2 mos later on medication of course and in therapy. Well my first day back, I’ll never forget, I was called into the VP’s office along with the co-worker to drove me home and walked in with me, only to find out I was being reprimanded verbally for a comment that was brought back to the VP while I was out about feeling harrassed at home and him needing to know when I was returning and his reasoning was for staffing purposes. Meanwhile, a year earlier we were down two recruiters and as soon as my director felt the heat from dept heads not getting their positions filled in a timely manner she suddenly went out on a leave citing heart problems and due to her age, he would dare challenge her. Well for close to 6 months I was the only Recruiter and with little assistance from some of the other directors I was it for staffing over 100 vacant jobs.And making the same pay, till finally I complained and complained and only ended up with a one time payment of $500 to include taxes of course. LOL
It burns me to go back and recall all this but the short and the end of it was I exercised my rights for being out with PTSD/Depression and then needed an extension to my leave once for week long bout with the medical stuff surfaced and he had the nerve to say it was irresponsible of me not to check in at least weekly with my status because he needed coverage, when two new recruiters had been hired in my abscence when I was out and my director at the time had returned. Hummmmm, you read between the lines.
Till this day, I definitely try to keep an eye on my emotional roller coaster at work to the best of my ability, however when those moments hit and I don’t have the strength to go to the restroom or even close my office door I do what I have to do and try to contain it the best I can but I let the tears come. Those who support me, do and those who don’t don’t. We had a couple deaths in the office last year with my being the first and the only tragegy but loss is loss and grief is grief and so whether it’s not acceptable or not I don’t know but for me I don’t care.
Sharon

I have been through the mental health system after bein raped in the jail by guards and I have had no help over the porblem I have form the sexual abuse and the other stuff that we all deal with in life that hurts most of us like the deceased. I am not giving up but finishing the job that I have to do for myself. I have a life to that is hurt or a problem with my life that I need to stop from happening. I might cry if I had the time I have a lot in my life that I can do with you or with out you please either sign the papers and give it a rest I have no way of stopping you so let me take mylife. I then get punished even more because I was week. Drug and medictions are ment to be used for ashort time and the stuff that is really in need of is a heart and a sole for most. so please make a point of helping yourself with the people who help you. I have made myself puck the worst amount of times I could use a bathroom break. Do I need to have a cigatett or do I want to burn the person who is stopping my voice. I have a great time with drugs because I have a horid life that I use you in to do this stuff. I don’t want that sh*t smell anymore just tell me. Enjoy the results,,,,,,,,,,,….?

I have a boss who want too change or retail store to upclass place and she demand so much, Like today the store was a mess I came in at 6.00am I started clean it up and then two other co-works came in buy the time 9.30am came around , the store was read for customer, but she was not happy becasue the wall had some items on the bottom of the counter, and I told her I have someone too pick it up and when I tell her any thing she treat me like I am laying and I don’t know what I am doing I been in the retail bussness for over 30 Years, but that dose not count, she talk too you like you are stupid, she treat a lot of us like this , I have a co-work that been there for five years, she was put as a ful time person, she never got the hoilday pay, and never got what a ful time person should of have , So she put her heart in too this job , and now they said they could not make her a full time person, will today her and I cry because of I was over well on my jobs, and for her they told her that she is now full time, all the time we give up or time for this store and they don’t , and now they say can help take my co=work home at night , some of them don’t have a way of getting home becasue of the time, so I will take them home, What is wrong wiht this i don’t understand, this retail store they push use too where I and some of my co-work cry on the job, we try to help each other but the boss don’t like us too get too close, but are work is are scond home and If we go home crying and up set we stated too hate are job, and that when we lost good personal, who enjoy there work , but when we have a place of buessness make you cry and cry and cry we should not have too go through this , If the retail store let us do are job too where we finish one thing at a time , and quit gaveing a time frame, like you have 160 case of cloth daily , and you have to hang it size it unpack it , and run it too the floor and put it in the area that is design for it , in a six hour shift, and this is working with only four to six, personl. them you only got too remmber some of you have too be a casher,and all other things, so you cry and cry because you have so little time to do , we are not a work hores, we are person who have filling too .

When a person is sick with a cold, they are allowed to cough, sneeze, wheeze, etc. at work.
When a person is sick with depression, there is no reason why they can’t cry at work.

I am often bombarded with feelings, and disapointed and hurt by the un-ethical behavior of co-workers, whom lie and cheat thinking they will somehow impress the boss, in my job,(sales)
I find my self disapointed, hurt and angry, by these salespersons behavior. I recently confided in my Boss, that when I am angry, really angry about situations like this I cry.
I expressed that I am always happy for other (salespersons)when they succeed, (make a sale) Yet I am still so utterly upset when my sales is not good news, but sniped & picked at, as being too kind good to my clients.
My boss let me know he has the utmost respect for my methods, (and I am ahead of the others in sheer profit of each sale)and he does not feel in any way the other who are known liars, ever tell him any truth, in thier comments.
My boss feels because I am successfull ( a woman in a male dominated sales team)they spin these ideas in thier head, and somehow beleive thier own lies, but not he.
So how does one person, who has pride in ethical behavior, exist in the shark pool?
I have always beleived If you treat others well, and are respectfull of your self and your customers, the end result is more sales, and more profitable sales, with a clean concience.
It is my nature to beleive in the inherent goodness that is deep down inside each person, if cultivated has the opportunity to come to light.
But I have come to the sad conclusion, hence my angry disapointment, and crying outburst to my boss, that you cannot change some, no matter how well you treat them.
I Now Know I must go forward, & exist and flourish in spite of thier subersive behavior & nature, knowing they can only drag me down to thier level if I let them.
Like the Swan,I will float through each day with grace and kindness.
I will work each day tword my goal, sales with ethics and compassion, knowing I have the support of my boss, and my moral compass is inntact.
Signed saleswoman of moral fiber.

I worked in customer service where every day a client would yell at us.
It was a tough job and the staff needed to get a thick skin just to
work there. I handled the first year the best that I could, crying occasionally from the horrible comments made to me by the customers. At this point, I was the one training staff, handled the commercial service accounts on my own and was active in the safety council and ran the Happiness Committee to boost moral for the other staff. There was nobody to boost me. When it came to my yearly evaluation, I was given a lesser raise due to my occasional crying and was told I needed to get a grip on my emotions. I vowed at that moment, I would not cry at work again. I still went on working there for 3 years and never cried again. The next evaluation I recieved was the best anyone can do.
I am still an emotional person and I wear my feelings on my sleeve. I just don’t show them at work anymore.

Some people take our crying personally – they don’t know what to do, and feel helpless. When they feel out of control of the situation, they take control by eliminating what started it – the people that cry. We can’t change others, but we CAN visualize – being successful, finding a job with lots of benefits and positive employees. It really works. Taking a short walk is very grounding – fresh air, the sound of birds, a deep breath, and a personal pat on the back – it works wonders.

I work with an over emotional co-worker and she always thinks we are out to get her. We all have explained to her that we think very highly of her and it gets old after a while. I can understand crying because your very upset or something awful happens but when you cry over EVERYTHING it makes you wonder if the person really needs psychological help!

Hey there, Beyond Blue … and Beyond Blue Peeps. FYI Blue is a very powerful color … it is the most popular of colors, and Blue has healing properties. BLUE removes guilt, reminds you of your goals, calms and soothes, keeps bad spirits away, conveys an air of importance and confidence AND suppresses appetite!!
I digress, which is something I do! Sorry … back to crying in the closet. Or boo-hoo’ing at work and at your cube.
OMG! YES, I cried in my cube, in my office, in my closet, in the bathroom, in the hallway, on my boss’s desk (very dramatic scene), in the elevator, etc. For the record, it did not get in my way, only my weigh! I achieved a nice level of success at the office … the crying was a sign, however, that the office was not contributing to my happiness (on the contrary).
So, there you have it. One day, I stopped crying and left.
Therese, I have been to the abyss and back, more than once. I’ve cried so much (in past lives – my twenties and thirties) that I damaged my vessels and as soon as I now even water a tiny bit, my eyes begin to swell. Not pretty!
I watered a bit yesterday. Was watching the movie, Rudy. A great inspirational movie! For those who are in the mood to let it all out and get in that great cry, watch it! (Oh, I digress again!!!)
Thanks, Therese for a good cry. I’ll write about this in my today’s blog.
xo, Janice

IMHO, crying at work or anywhere else other than in privacy or with people whom you are very close is something that simply should not be done. And yes, it can be controlled. I’ve been through severe depression for years (not anymore) and never once cried in public, and I cried often…very often. This is especially important in the workplace where you’re to be professional and crying is the farthest thing from it. Cursing is more professional and socially acceptable than public crying. That said, it absolutely doesn’t mean that you can’t feel sad or depressed. But you need to control your actions. Just because you feel something doesn’t mean you need to act on it.

I have had a job where I cried at work. I took the job as an Assistant to a Supervisor of a perociol school. He was my neighbor and friend.
As time went on the stress got worse and worse. I discovered several budget items which were covered up. I was told I wasn’t paid to think. Several times I cried in my office alone or in the bathroom. However, everyone seemed to know. My eyes or mood told all.
The women in adjoining offices from the high school were very schooled in “Office Politics”.
I was in the middle of all the politics and everyone claimed to be my friends. However, my crying was held against me. Toward the end of two horrible years of office politics that I have never experience before or sence, I was terminated. I was never told why, but I knew I just didn’t fit there.
My blood sugars went down almost immediately after being high for many months, and I was so relieved not to have to go back there the following Monday. My advise is, go home if you have to cry, because it will come back to bite you no matter what coworkers have to say.
And, if you find that your crying is job related, rethink staying in the job. A job is not worth your health or dignity.

When my beloved brother died in a commercial airline crash, I was depressed for a long time. I was working, and did my crying in my car on the way to and from work. It was an outlet that I needed to retain my sanity. We are human, we need to laugh and grieve at the appropriate times. Sometimes it is not appropriate, so we have to find a private place to vent. But, the act of crying is natural and normal and a release for intense emotion. Lee

This is to IMHO, Crying at work is ok. As long as you’re not on the phone with a client. Sometimes you cannot control crying. When I was having problems with my teenage daughters and one of them was in a hospital for psy problems, I cried at my desk often because I could not take time off of work. No one said anything and it was not held against me. I am with the same company but in a different department now and I have seen my boss cry at her desk. No one says anything but, “Are you ok?”. There are some jobs where you should not cry, receptionist, attorney’s office. But I feel for the most part 99 percent of women cannot help where and when they cry.

Crying at work is not acceptable; especially if it is related to work! It is a form of paralysis. Everything is halted until the “crier” composes themselves. If you suffer a personal tragedy that causes sadness and crying, go ahead boo-ho but leave the office. If you want to be treated as a professional, then put on your big girl panties and act professional.

Crying is expressing emotion. That should be allowed and encouraged. Yes, encourage yourself to be honest in expressing your emotions. But, realize that crying irritates your eyes and sinuses, making you more susceptible to continued crying. With my ‘dry eyes condition’, it takes days to get over a crying jag.
It would be best to keep some emoting private. It is disturbing to have someone cry in front of you when they the crying is not related to what you have done or said. Also when someone is not needing your sympathy or help in any way, crying makes the other people around you feel helpless. Long or loud crying can be thought of as self-serving, since it annoys others.
Allow work to be a separate thought and try to keep focused on only work while at work. Grieving people often set themselves off emotionally or allow themselves to converse with others at work about their problems. This brings the pain back and they cry at work. Tell concerned co-workers to talk with you after work.
I am a sensitive person who crys easily. The main reason that I cry easily is that I am highly sensitive to adrenaline. When angry or frustrated, my body pumps up the adrenaline – I cry, shake, and my heart races. I no longer allow ephenephrine in my anesthesia or Novacaine shots at the doctor, dermatologist, or dentist offices. (Ask about it! It is routinely added since it keeps the anesthesia working quicker and longer. It helps to control bleeding also. There are anesthetics without ephenephrine.)

I am a medical professional and I am a woman. There have been times during the years when things happened in my life that broke my heart.
I am not one of those people that can just suck it up and put on a brave face. Fortunately, I can still do my work just fine even if an occasional
tear did slip out. I do not deal directly with patients, so that was an advantage and since I have been at my job for 15 years, my coworkers know that even when my heart is breaking, I can still perform my duties. I don’t discuss my problems with my coworkers as I know this is a distraction and I also know that my grieving period will end so I just work through it. I wish I had a switch to turn off my emotions when I need to, but I am not made that way. When I was younger, I thought something was wrong with me, but now I realize I am just a very sensitive person and also an empath. I can cry silently while still functioning normally. My job does not allow me to just walk away or leave work just because I am sad. We can be strong, even when our hearts are breaking.

sometimes…not often…if i am being treated unfairly…I work in a job where I am with all males…its a non traditional job for women…I don’t mean too…but I in order to keep my anger in check..I tend to fight back tears…what they take for weakness…is in all actuality…danger warnings….its the fight or flight thing taking over….so just so you men know if a woman is crying…instead of thinking she is weak…maybe you should think …I better the heck out her way….

I agree with Jana4221 — when I cry at work, it’s because I am totally frustrated and angry about some people I work with who aren’t doing their jobs yet have the time to mess with me and I am trying my darndest not to tell them what I think. It doesn’t help that my supervisor doesn’t have a clue what is going on. Anyway, tears are something most people can’t help and it should be understood that tears are gonna happen!

Crying on the job: Not exceptional. If you are feeling sad, its ok to cry in the restroom,or at home. Not in a workplace. It will rub off on others., They may not be able to handle your pain. You can go home sick, or call in sick. Take a walk., or pray, Whatever it takes to calm you down. You really don’t want others to carry your burden. Say to yourself, “This Too Shall Pass.

DO NOT CRY AT THE OFFICE!!!!
You will look weak. Especially to your superiors. I have no respect for women who cry at the office. I’ve gone through a lot, but I HIDE my tears. I go to the restroom, go for a walk, etc.

I was fired from my last job after being at the company for more than 10 years. My first position was eliminated after holding it for many years. The position that I ended up in was several steps down and I did not receive proper training for it. The last position was for 2 years and I was under daily stress with the rules changing every day. Making errors was not tolerated – even minor ones such as using a wrong size paper clip. All errors was reported to the supervisor without giving me a chance to quickly correct them – putting the wrong date on a document.
I managed to present an icy demeanor toward my supervisors. If I cried, it was silently in the restroom.
Women crying in the workplace are viewed as weak and emotional. That is held against them when it comes to promotions and pay raises.

Wow! Thank all of you for your comments! I agree with all of you.
While reading your comments it was as though you had a print out of my now very present circumstance. I appreciate your strength, honesty and wisdom. Although I am very guilty of crying in the cube, my frustration and tears are a carbon copy of Jan4221. It probably is not the politcally correct reaction (to cry) however leaving the job for a sick day or going to the restroom is not often an option. So believe me when I say it was much better for me to cry I sincerely mean it for those who are hurting me, those around me, my family and myself. To cry or not to cry that the question and the very personal question; besides I can’t be fired or arrested for crying. Thank You God for my tears!

After taking the time to go with my Father on two doctor appointments, the doctor/surgeon called me at work, said your Dad has tyroid cancer.
I cried. What great support I received, and what a wonderful boss I had to tell us all that we’re an office family.

I found this article interesting because yesterday was the first day that I cried at work at a job I’ve been at for 2 yrs. I have to say I have mixed feelings about whether that was OK or not.
On the one hand, I work at a place that bills itself as a “family-oriented place” and I did cry in the privacy of my cubicle. My boss was off for the day and I was only surrounded by some of the women I work with who are all pretty much equal in position to me. One women in particular came over (she could her me sniffling over the wall between us) and she was sympathetic. Still, I felt uneasy about whether word had gotten around the office, what others were saying, etc
For myself, I know this is really an exceptional occurrence for me….I’ve only done this one other time before. And both times I had a lot on my plate personally and a pretty bad upset at work that seemed to collide to create the tears. The first time my Marine son had just left for a year in Iraq a day or 2 before and it was Adminstrative Professionals Day. Not only was I the only gal in the office who had been forgotten, but there had been almost no acknowledgment made about my son’s leaving either. This time I found a deserted part of the office and no one saw me crying. Luckily I was able to keep busy there for a while, because it took some time to feel OK that day. Needless to say, since leaving this job, I have realized it was a pretty cold work environment.
Yesterday, when I was the brunt an upsetting outburst by a co-worker, I reacted calmly at first, but by the time I was back to my desk, I was really overcome. This time too, my personal sorrows were definitely adding to the pain I was feeling. My youngest son who was a victim of a violent random crime (he was kidnapped, robbed and stabbed by a parolee who broke into in his apartment a few months ago) has been going through a very rough stage with Panic attacks and crying spells himself. Also, I had a very dear older cat dying, at home with my husband, and was running home at lunch to check on him.
Personally, I think it’s pretty human to have some exceptional times when crying, even at work, is just going to have to be OK. I’ve never been one to feel that anyone should have to de-humanzie themselves for their job. As part of a total overall good performance record, I just don’t think an occasional show of emotion is all that bad.

I have cried at work, its not because i was waek it was because i was going through alot and was overcome by my emotions at that time. Showing your emotions allows others the opportunity to freely speak to you atleast they know that you are human, not only that tough, steadfast person that they see in the office each day.

I lost a grandson two years ago, he was three months old. After taking about one week off work, going back was still hard because my co-workers couldn’t believe what my family and I had experienced and took it very hard, too. I remember a few times when I just wanted to cry my eyes out. Instead I learned how to hold it in, until after work and on my way home. I refrained from listening to music, and mostly talking about it. My co-workers/friends understood. Even today, there are instances where I become vulnerable by remembering that day as if it just happened and begin to tear up. Crying at work may not be a good idea even if you are close to some of your co-worker’s. I do work with someone who seems to cry every time something goes wrong. Even if I or someone else tried to console her, there was nothing we could have done to make it better. It is hard to work when there is a depressed or unhappy person in the work place because they become unpredictable, and it doesn’t help if everything else goes wrong in the same day! Thanks for letting me share and your article confirms by beliefs about why I won’t cry in the work place, thank you for that, too.

I recently went through a very bad ordeal in my family. I tried not to cry at work but at some point the tears came and I did tell my manager about what was wrong. I work in a small office of around 22 people. My boss (owner of my company) personally called me in his office and told me that we are a family and that if there was anything at all that he could do for me, just ask. I cried even more to know that the people in my office were more caring and concerned for me than my own family. Things eventually have gotten better over the summer but I found out, that my OFFICE FAMILY is always there for me, and I as well for them. We are a close knit bunch.
Claire

The other day I was called in to work on my day off. My boss needed to talk to me. I was speaking with her when her boss came in and joined in on the conversation which took a sharp turn. I have only been working there for two months. I have had alot of stress, depression and disability in my life. So after 11 years I decided to go back to work to earn some extra money and to be around people. Back to the conversation..I became very upset, started crying, started hyperventilating. The boss ended the meeting and told me to stop crying. I was ask why do I always cry when she speaks to me (another day off when I volunteered to work). I couldn’t stop crying for awhile, then I went to the bathroom. I am scheduled for surgery soon. Do you think I will have a job to come back to?

I worked for a boss who verbally attacked me daily. I couldn’t always leave my desk to cry. I would sometimes cry at my desk when no one was in the office. If someone entered, I might turn my back on them if needed. It was definitely an abusive situation, and most of my co-workers were aware of this. They, therefore, understood my tears. I was fortunate to get help from the union on this issue and I also decided that my tear were appropriate and because I would have suffered more abuse for being away from my desk or taking time off, I had no choice but to try and hide my tears while I talked on the phone and interacted with personnel. My real strength came when I realized that my tears were a worse reflection on my boss than on me, and that I had more support than he did at work. If he wasn’t happy, then he should find himself another job because I wasn’t going anywhere. That’s when I noticed that his behavior was improving. There’s been a positive change. The tears were necessary for me.

If one gets upset and cries, do it alone, where no one will see you. Do it in a bathroom or your car, do not do it in front of anyone. Especially at work, that is the worse spot. Employers especially supervisors. I work in an all male dept. They look at it as a sign of weakness. I have been there, and cried, in front of my supervisior. and it was one of the worse things I could have done.
And I have depression, which makes it worse, so I have leaned to take a pill, if I feel myself getting upset, and it calms me down.
Do what ever it takes, but hold it together until you are along or with a very, very, close friend. And than let it out.
I know from experience.

I think it depends on your employment and what you do for a living. I have cried many times at work in the past 20+ years as a law enforcement dispatcher. Cried when children are recklessly killed in auto accidents; cried when friends call 911 at 4 a.m. saying their baby isn’t breathing; cried when a law enforcement officer was killed in an auto accident; cried when another one was shot. I cry when little old ladies call in saying their husband won’t wake up and they think he is dead, “we’ve been married 65 years and I don’t know what I am going to do without him”. I cry after the crisis is over and my co-workers cry after the crisis they are working on is over and we cover each other’s radio channel and phones so we can cry. It is scarier for me if the day ever comes when I stop crying at my job.

I remember about 30 yeaars ago when i was stationed overseas in the Army, that my 1st sgt said something to me that made me start the tears flowing. That was the first time that had happened and never again on any jobs after that. A couple of my fellow GI’s and I talked it over and whatever was bothering me at that second was resolved.

I sincerely can say I can cry in front of any of the people in my school and everyone would care and offer their sincere conern. I can say that everyone in my school if they had a crisis I would be concerned. I am glad to say that most teachers teach because they care about the kids and people.
I disagree with the comments,would clients be exposed because I personaly have sat in meetings and cried when I heard the circumstances of their hardships. To shed a tear and still maintain control demonstrates a form of compassion and humility to the other person. I can still handle the issue at hand and still let a tear drop.
I have always been an over emotional drama queen and so be it.
I am me and thats part of my make up.
I have cried with many kids, teachers, parents ,principals and it has not affected my ability to teach or do my job effectively.

I think it matters on the situation and what has/have occur. I know I’ve been at my job for a little over 3 months. It’s a hard situation to be in at times. Being the director you have your isms. 98% of my employees is twice my age but they act as young as my 8 year old. The problem is I took a position that was held by a guy and the females here hate that. There were several times I overheard them talking about me and stating that they are going to run my butt out of here. I never been in this position before where I am the only one on my side. I haven’t even got to know anyone that could pick sides with me, except my Administrative Assistant. It seems like when she’s not here that is when all the crap starts and the crying. All I could do is just close my door and cry. My life is so much at ease when I get in my truck and head for home, then every morning I wake up to an awful pain and just say, “Eight more hours of HELL.”

I am the only black american in a very small count office. I’ve worked in this office about 1 1/2 years and over the last 6-7 months I have seen a real change in the people that I work with. I have lost my grandfather in December and my father was killed 6 months later let alone I suffer with physcial discomfort, so with all that I have some depression of my own and I have tried not to cry here at work. It gets difficult with supervisors and coworkers because I feel pushed aside and left out, feeling invisible. Going to your car and “letting it out” does seem to help, just remember if you do that, pick your head up, hold it high, dust off and move forward. Most people at work don’t care about what the next one is going through so why give them something to talk about.

I think it depends on the situation. I recently did cry at work. It started with the store director (I work at a grocery store, and he is hated by all right now), I had called him to my workspace and asked if I could have some more time to finish part of my job, he would not give me any extra hours for it. He was putting me down telling me there is others that does the same job at other stores, so I should also do it. By the time he got done, I was trying to hold my tears back, (they were angry tears). I left the room, very mad. When I came back in my workspace he was gone and that is when the tears started they were so bad that I was hyperventalating. I have Bipolar disorder and all of this set me off. I also work with all men (produce dept), one of them came back and saw me crying and asked me if it was that bad, where I told him yes. He then went and told the other guy how upset I was, which he came back and told me that it would be ok and that he would help me with the job that the store director had me so upset about. I am lucky that I have great guys that I work with. After I left the store, I was still crying and I got in my car and could not drive, so I called my best friend, she was able to calm me down so I could drive home. So as I said it depends on the situation and where you are in the job.

I think it depends upon the reason you cry – personal crisis or empathy for a situation or another person…if you know co-workers well and believe they would be supportive to see you cry and not use it against you, it may be okay, but I think you should under most PERSONAL crisis cry in the bathroom or away from the office whenever it occurs. I think it’s more acceptable if you cry about something tragic like an accident, horrible event, or death of someone, that happens but that may just be because I am concerned about job performance issues with superiors that it is interfering with your performance, if they are aware of it…type of job makes a huge difference as well. Teachers and public service people exposed to sadness naturally must be able to be human & cry…for that matter, sometimes you just can’t help it or choose when you cry…I held back tears at work all day yesterday – my husband wants a divorce because he’s unable to tolerate my 22 year old son needing support and a place to sleep when he’s trying to get back to work after several months of being unemployed & has had to give up his apt…it’s tough but you need to remember – laugh & the world laughs with you …cry & you cry alone (except with CLOSE, TRUSTED friends or clergy, etc)

Most of the comments seem to be on the defensive. You may want to read your comments again tomorrow. Honestly, to cry or not to cry is an emotional choice. You can cry if you want to but lets get down to the nitty gritty and be honest with ourselves. Every one is entitle to a tear or too, but if you are a cryer about every little thing……thats a problem!!! After a while everyones inner self is saying “O my God…here we go again!! Nobody wants to be around a constant cryer!! and you wonder is it for attention, do they need hormone replacement or maybe…..there’s a chemical imbalance!!!
Now working in an enviorment that makes you feel inadequate, alone and does not feed your spirit in a positive way for you to spiritually and emotionally grow and think well of yourself!!?? Get the hell out of there!!! Why do that to yourself? You should be more afraid of what it is doing to you emotionally and spiritually than having to go out and find another job where you can be treated with the respect that you as a human being deserve!! Trust me…. YOU CAN DO BETTER!! Life is too short to be miserable like that!! You will be lucky to EVER get out of your depression! Its not just the death of your loved ones but your SPIRIT that is dying!!! Be true to yourself!! God Bless!!

I’m bipolar & have a tendency to cry on the job, which I just “hate myself” for doing. My last job was with a small business owner who Frowned with a capital “F” if anyone showed up late, missed work & didn’t spend every second working except for 10 minute break. She doesn’t allow vacations-not even unpaid ones. I probably should have known better than to take the job.
I also have additional issues & felt compelled to get the boss to send me home.
I emailed a friend of mine who works for this lady this article & said this is how I should have conducted myself if I can’t control the crying.

about a year ago I was just beginning training as a Rad Tech and one of my first places to go to was a nearby hospital. Although one person in particular was harrassing me I went forward for twelve weeks of misery. In the end I had had enough. I excused myself to the bathrom (not for long) and upon returning was confronted by two supervisors. They gave me god advice on howto handle this person, but in turn my grade suffered. On my clinic evaluation they stated “poor self control”. I am going to have to go with do everything you can to stay away from such persons causing grief or get another job. Alot of times you will outlast the bully.

I am a male who works with mostly women coworkers and supervisors and I recently went through a divorce. One of my female supervisors stopped by my office during one of my crying episodes several months ago. She was extremely uncomfortable with it and she is only now starting to react normal around me. It was a brief spell that only lasted a few minutes and she just happened to stop by at the wrong time. 99% of the time I am able to leave it at home, but once in a while the depression kicks in and I take a moment to shed a tear or two. Her direct supervisor is also female and hates to see men cry, yet I work in a social work setting in which I am expected to teach men to change their beliefs about egalitarinism with women. It is very frustrating.

Some people are just mean. Sometimes your boss is in on it.What do you do? I have a few at work who do things just to be mean to that person for no reason. The person just try not to be around them but they go fine her and mess with her until she cry.

everyday – there are employee,s { a lot } taking my picture with camera phones – i dont have to be be working. i can be coming in to work and not even on the clock yet . i just don’t know what is ? do they not know it,s sexeral hasserment ? do not give or tell my name or email address to any one please. thank you.

If I told you some of the stories, I went through with jobs.It would make your hair stand.I am also a person,who suffers from Bi-Poar and depression.I had a job where the company conspired to have me fired.They even faultsified records to do so (if you can believe that).Im no longer with that job anymore, because of it.That was twenty years ago,and I sometimes still think about it.How cruel people can be.Alot of this goes on, in the job places today.Its just a crying shame.Anyway,I had my day with them.After years of fighting and court hearings.I ending up getting workers comp for the rest of my life.I guess you can say.They messed with the wrong person.I know its not easy. But more people should fight for thier rights and get, what thier entitled to.For the grief they been put through. Take Care, A friend