Love the post — but why invite her over at all? If she’s that poisonous to you…sometimes it’s better to erect actual boundaries rather than mental ones. Something I’m learning, slowly!

I’m having a bad day. The heck with compassion. I would have poisoned her salmon. LOL Just kidding. I like reading your blog. You’re so real. And it gives me hope. I’ve had anxiety/depression of varying degrees for the past 18 years (mostly without meds, because I’ve learned that I don’t feel that much better on meds and the side effects are about as bad as the ilness) and according to insurance charts, I’m going to live another 20 years — probably with this illness. Some days I feel horrible and don’t want to go on. Then I read your blog and know that I’m not alone. (I am all alone — no husband, no family, and, having moved to a new state, few friends. But just knowing that this blog is here makes me feel better some days.) Bless you.

Yeah, if this “friend” is that annoying, just don’t invite her over, or — yes — tell her what it is about her beliefs / attitude that so bother you. If she’s a true friend, she’ll listen. She may get mad or upset, but you know what?? She’ll get glad eventually. If she never speaks to you again, wow, that would suck, wouldn’t it?? You don’t have to put up it. Talk to her like an adult, and whatever happens, happens.

Sorry, I cut off my own post… You don’t have to give this “friend” all your energy. She obviously doesn’t care what you think, so why be concerned with what she thinks of you?? Don’t let someone else define you.

One thing I’ve learned is not to trust my inmost struggles with just anyone, especially someone like your “friend.” Be wise. Share yourself with those who will build you up, who are good listeners when that is all you want or need. Find good pray-ers who will advocate for your healing.Some people think that they have to be problem-solvers and aren’t perceptive enough to understand your needs. People don’t know what it is like to be you. Don’t be discouraged.

Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and concepts about compassion, something strange have been happening to me, in certain situations when before i could feel anger, now that i talk to angels i do not feel negative feelings, except wondering where were you angels?, after reading your writing, they (angels) are right here tyloring and polishing my heart, so I can feel compassion instead of anger.

As one who has lived with depression for 20 years….I have finally in the last 3 months found what works for me. I completely understand where you are…2 breakdowns, dozens of meds…(7 at one time), ECT, the works. NOTHING WORKED I knew I was not meant to live my life like this…I kept searching and found a wonderful Doctor of Osteopathy…she is addressing the cellular/medical/cause of my depression..after neurotransmitter testing…even with the meds…I had practically NO serotonin. I am now on half the meds I was 3 months ago, I take the necesary supplements to get my body to REPLENISH and build up the necessary neurotransmitters, etc. BUT….also along with this (and being an extreme Type A personality) once I let go of worrying about whether I was going to wake up depressed and decided to think about how I wanted to feel, the more I thought and focused on it…the more it has come into my reality. What I am saying is..don’t slam the “secret”…there are very valid points in there and other books (catherine ponder) with info. that is centuries old…the power of the mind is nothing new. I am living proof that it works…and again…I DO understand depression. I have learned over the years that unless you have experienced it, no one understands….so why waste your energy even trying to get them to understand. Quit whining and spewing the venom…it will just aggravate the deep seated depression/anger/anxiety already present. You know she doesn’t understand, so your mental health should be an off limits topic with you two. Good day to all.

I wasn’t feeling down today until reading your blog full of rage, anger and stupidity. U R Toxic. Stop blaming everyone for your sorry state. My life has been and I promise you a 100fold more painful than yours and yet I have a SECRET and you don’t. Quit bawling and griping. Dagnabit.

Hi Therese, I appreciated your honest sharing. Sometimes we get pissed off. I think the secret is not hanging on to the resentment.The SECRET has a lot of information that has been around for a long time. It does however omit mentioning taking the action that is required to achieve our goals. People would be better served looking into positive psychology that builds upon a persons existing strengths of character, takes into consideration values and also incorporates you thinking (visualising) about the best possible person you can be. Then comes the important step of how are you going to get there, what do you need to do on a daily basis to move you towards your goals. I thought about my depression for a while and it didn’t help. It was when I started doing things like CBT, exercise, mindfulness, groups and volunteer work that I started to feel better about myself. I built on that feeling to take it to the next level. I kept it simple but I put the work in daily.A bit at a time. I hope this helps.

illnesses come from damaged dna, the sins of our fathers are passed down, genetically…our bodies are mortal, and are susceptible to breaking down, physically, mentally, emotionally…is this the way we are meant to live? the bible says not, and promises a return to immortality to mankind, ruled by the son of god…focus on this, rather than fighting this latest fad to better living…forgive this woman her ignorance and know that your illness is something that is the result of the digression of mankind, not the result of negative thinking…and seriously, don’t get angry at what she says, have a good little laugh that people are actually rushing all over themselves to read this latest bunk…

lol, I have days like that too!! good for you for not poisening the fish. Hang in there, gal.

Hi Therese,I think you have valid concerns but they’re not with Rhonda Byrne. Rhonda put something lovely out there into the world to help people think positively about whatever situation they find themselves in. Never once in her movie did she say that bad things will never happen to you. Never did she say to turn your back on modern medecine, that illnesses are hoaxes and that depression is brought on by our own thoughts. Have you even seen the Secret??? She talks about turning your world around, she talks about creating the world you most desire. If the world was perfect in her eyes as you suggest, then there wouldn’t be an audience for The Secret! Everyone has problems and concerns.. it’s how we deal with them that counts. You’ve got a friend in your life with opposing oppinions to you. Big deal – that’s life. You need to move past this. If this friend makes you feel uncomfortable – move her out of your life and MOVE ON! Before you do though, consider this for a moment – why do you keep this woman in your life if she so violently offends you? That’s a much more interesting article rather than the attempt at comedic writing – toilet paper a house and poisoning a friend? What were you thinking? For someone who is as intellegent as you, you seriously surprise me. You have done so much study on theology and appear to have a really strong faith yet you completely miss the concept of live and let live. The world is an amazing place with so much fantastic variety. We can’t all be like you.. nor should we expect to be. By the way.. what makes you think Rhonda lives in a mansion? Have you seen this mansion? Or are you making an assumption and consequently a judgement about a person you actually have not met? Correct me if I’m wrong.. that doesn’t sound very christian of you. I have read quite a few of your articles on BeliefNet and this one has really let you down. There is no responsible journalism in this article at all. Infact it sounds more like a diary entry rather than something to be published out to the world.Sadly, I’ll now be bypassing your articles. It’s sad because I’m sure you had alot to offer but now, after this, you can’t be trusted to put something responsible out there worth reading. You’re friend doesn’t sound like she’s listening to you or to your chosen take on life. That’s sad because friendship is about supporting your friends and now about pulling them down. On the other hand.. having read this article.. you are not worthy of her either!

This really made me laugh because I haven’t bought into all of this hype with the “secret”. No one knows the answer to everything and my negative thoughts have not created the chaos in my life right now. I was married to a narcissistic crazy maker, with no accountability for his actions. My health problems have almost gone away since the craziness is out of my life on a daily basis. I am done with living my life to suit another’s plan. I want to be true to myself and be the happy, giving person I used to be.

I don’t read your column often, but I did tonight and just want to respond to Suzanne’s comment. Dear Suzanne,Go and find yourself a sense of humor! Try watching the secret in slow speed backwards, they actually help you find your sense of humor if you are lacking in that area. If you want to boycott Therese’s column, then do so. Just stop reading. No need to scold her with the written word, telling her she is lesser of a person than you thought she was and not even worthy of the friend who is not worthy of her. Maybe it is you who is not worthy. Don’t go putting your Christian hoopla and guilt on Theresa for expressing her thoughts in a creative and clearly sarcastic way. Sarcasm, look it up. Stick to the bible, the humor is probably much more your speed. Right on Therese! The funny thing is, this person is probably dear to you, but you have some differences that can at times cause you pain and seem intentionally hurtful. However, for some reason, which needs no explaining on your part, you still love her and are keeping her around for reasons for which we don’t need an explanation. Maybe not. The secret has very valid points, but if we can’t poke fun of it from time to time and spread a few rumors to see how it holds up….well, that’s not much of a secret is it? Keep the humor coming, along with the serious journalism. No pressure.

I will also be bypassing “beyond blue”…never was into it much anyway….just curious to see if you had anything “different” to say. I have found this column/blog to be a misery loves company place….not for me or my mindset. Oh, Cathryn…you don’t realize it..but you put the secret into action by “creating” and making the decision to get the craziness out of your life and purposely choosing to live for “yourself” and not suiting anothers plan. And now your health problems are almost gone. We are all energy….get rid of the negative, focus on the positive and ACT on what you are feeling and you will continue to create a more positive life. God is good…we are not meant to suffer. Oh, and in the secret….they did say you had to take action you can’t just think your way to things. I will sum it up by saying: You reap what you sow, self-fulfilling prophecy and be careful what you wish for. Statements we have all heard thousands of times….must be some truth to them. Night all.

Hi Tracey, I have a great sense of humour.. this article just didn’t appeal to it – not even remotely. Keep reading this stuff by Therese.. it’s perfect for you.

I am exceedingly overjoyed with your statements. I am glad to read that there is a straight-thinking, non-Oprah-mezmorized woman who really sees and feels what is real. We had a term for the non-reality people… we called them hippies. Sometimes stuff happens. Just deal with by prayer or quiet time or some other method; learn from the experience and move on. Thank you… my prayers are with you.

You know, whether I agree with you or not, I always enjoy your insights and perspectives. In this particular situation, I agree with another individual that posted a comment – there are times when it becomes necessary to physically separate ourselves from that which poisons us. The saying “that which does not kill me makes me stronger” is true only to an extent. We become what we surround ourselves with, and we become as those with whom we associate (whether we want to or not.) Bad thoughts are a naturally occuring thing – it’s our responses to those bad thoughts that determine how we feel about ourselves and our lives. I don’t believe that being a Christian means that life will be perfect from that moment forward. In fact, more challenges to your faith are almost to be expected. Your friend sounds like one of those challenges – but I’m certain that God put her into your life for a reason and that there is something He wants you to learn from her. Tolerance of differing views may be one of them. Greater strength in your own belief system may be another. I don’t know, but I do know that for me, I am exactly where God wants me to be at this moment in my life – every minute of every day. It is that belief that keeps me going and increases my belief in who I am whenever I am faced with challenges or people that simply drive me up the wall. God never once said not to get angry. He said to rise to anger and sin not. I haven’t quite figured out how to accomplish this, but I’m working on it! LOL Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts and opinions – and best of luck in your decisions with regard to your friend. I hope for your sake that she doesn’t fall ill after dinner!

Loved what you wrote.., and I agree with you a hundred percent. I think that if people want to better themselves they need to get a reality check and stop taking in all the hype about The Secret,(if you visualize it, it will happen,) crap! Me, I meditate to escape the crap of everyday living when it gets to crazy for me. Sit in a cumfy chair, deep breathe and focus in my mind some place I feel comfortable and peaceful in. Sometimes its in the mountains of Virginia, or on a Island,and I talk to G-d, depends on my mood and what went on. That is my Secret. Love to all….

I can’t entirely agree with you. I have come through a very dark year where I was doing very irrational things. I overcame by looking inside and finding what would make me happy. I moved to a place I knew I loved. I am working fulltime and meeting wonderful people from all over the world. Some bad ones too, but I have learnt to walk away from people who just want to agravate because they are miserable. Medication is a short term solution. You need to go out and find what will truly make you happy. There is a comic, Tommy Tiernan, that said you have to remember back to what you loved when you were 10 years old and be doing it now. My quote is that you have to remember back to 4 years old and be doing that. Happy hunting and look forward to more of your blog. I have just discovered it now.

Great blog and love the humor. I buy into the Secret because it is just another way of stating what is clearly stated in the teachings of Christ. I find it funny that all of these so-called “new ways” fail to make the connection. Read Battlefield of the Mind by Joyce Meyer and the connection is very clear. To Suzanne: Seems like you are the also very judgemental… where’s your compassion? Everyone has their own opinion and way of looking at things… I may not agree with you or what you say… but I defend your right to say it! And if it helps one person.. even though it’s not you… then it has purpose. To each his or her own.. it would be a pretty boring world without much creativity if we all thought exactly the same. All great art, literature, comedy and music seems to come from people who see things slightly differently from the group. otherwise everyone would be able to creat it and it wouldn’t be special, now would it?

Suzanne,I thought you were ceasing the reading of this blog. Couldn’t help yourself, could you? A blog is a platform in which to express one’s opinion, and I guess by putting one out there in cyberspace you invite judgement and comments….literally. However, perhaps you can re-read your comments from another perspective and see that perhaps you were judgemental and critical and then ask yourself why this posting upset you so? Why couldn’t you just take it for what it is, letting off some steam in a creative outlet. If you enjoy Theresa’s postings for the most part, why such a strong reaction and decision to STOP reading? Which clearly you haven’t. And thank you, I will continue to read the blog. It’s clever, honest, thoughtful and funny. Therese doesn’t seem to judge anyone or come from a place where SHE is right and someone else is WRONG in their different lines of thought. Why would you? You seem clever and creative yourself, just by what you wrote, so maybe when you see that she didn’t really poison the salmon you will be more forgiving and continue to enjoy something which in the past has given you pleasure. Or maybe you’ll find that you reacted strongly for some reason to this particular posting and needed to get something out yourself in your comment, as she did with hers. Not much difference, really, when you think about it. Best

After reading your article and being a Personal Support worker, I agree with the doctor. A compassionate person must put aside their hurt, anger, and pain even when someone is ill, be it mentally or otherwise. Compassion helps me to control my actions when my 94 yrs old Alz patient used to bite me, and slap me , while trying to get her ready for a bath and bed. How do you blame someone for something they cant control themselves most of the time. Without compassion to the condition, I have caught PSW’s hitting back and i do know of someone and i think this is just awful,she is the(PSW), she pushed a patient off her chair because this woman struck her as she walked by, the patient thought she was going to take her plate away.. This patient has AL and is not with it much but she does understand if you ask her not to hit you? so whats the problem with people not using their compassion to estimate and understand someone. Never in my nursing carreer have I ever hit a pt back because they acted out in fear or unintentional anger at you. when you nurse the patient as I was very fortunate to have spent a yr with her, so we became use to eachother and she always bit me, lolol. So, you can see, that compassion should always override anger, if you really want to be the friend, caregiver or dr, and IS relatively essential to understanding a persons need with PATIENCE and this gives you the care and empathy inwhich to do a great job. in my opinion. thanks Ms. J. Scott retired psw. P.S. sometimes the day was so stressful i would cry for them, it is sad to watch someone who has no way of controlling themselves and compassion with empathy can give way to a more positive interaction with your patient.

Hi, Therese I liked this piece. If we are honest, I think most of us have days when we are feeling not-so-charitable toward those we love. And we can’t really deal with it until we acknowledge what is going on. I liked the way you worked your way through the bit of muck and rediscovered your compassion and acceptance. To me, that takes courage and grace. And I like your humor. I’ll be back.

There is BLAME and there is responsibility and there is karma and there are other energies influencing one’s emotional well-being. I think that if one feels this philosophy is making one uncomfortable or aggravating, then it isn’t right for you. Don’t believe it. Believe what you need to believe to make you feel okay. If it’s wrong, who cares. Wouldn’t you rather be happy than right?

Having practiced the ‘occult’ art of numerolgy for 35 years, I have learned to see ‘karma’ as a two edged sword. Especially ‘bad karma’. First, there is the person it happens to. then there is the person seeing it happen who has the ability to render aid.From the standpoint of the person it is happening too, it can be seen as a learning experience, as un pleasent as it may be. To the bystander who can help, it can be seen as a divine test. Failing such a test may bring about ‘karma’ of its own. I find it comical that Professor Hill’s ‘think system’ could, so long after his time (circa 1912), STILL earn somone so much money. For good entertainment, rent the movie THE MUSIC MAN and see the laughable consequences (which even in the movie are not always so funny)of this inane idea.

Perhaps the reason you react so violently to your friends’ ideas is because there is some truth in them? Perhaps your ego just really really wants to stay sick….Read the Course in Miracles! I think you’re lucky to have such a good friend.

Hi Therese, good post… i have a few comments… Actually… all those sentences you cringe while you read are true. However, while you are sitting in the dark, you can’t see them. Just like i was, when i was depressed, i couldn’t see those things… but now i can. they are true, and they become real. I will recommend one book to all of you… its much older than ‘the secret’…”The power of your subconscious mind” By Joseph Murphy. The thoughts that an impoverished person has are not necessarily bad, they are just set in a particular pattern that are hard to fix. Like, always critizing rich people, like more money than sense! Or… i can’t afford that… Your mind makes whatever you believe come true over the long term. Anyway… medications aren’t necessarily bad for you if you believe that they work. Actually… your friend could have eaten the poisoned fish if she had truly believed that she is immune to such things…. although, judging by the way that she constantly pushes her beliefs onto you sounds like perhaps she might be trying to convince herself… if you truly believe something, you don’t necessarily need to push it onto everyone else.For one week… just one… please try something for me. All of you. Notice every single thought you have. good and bad, any thought, any small thought that slips in and out of consciousness. Question everything. Discover all those thoughts that you are barely aware of. these are the ones that may need changing. And, Therese… you can be sick as long as you want. Its ok, you are on the path, and it is a very difficult one when you first start out (and the beginning may last for years). its confusing, and its scary… but in a sense you are living more so than the other drones that don’t seem to have any thoughts or any problems. its essentially a walk of existentialism… cos nothing seems to matter. You’ll find your light, eventually. Love and peace to you…

Oh my! How hard it is to have compassion on people who are BLAMING YOU for your illness or anything else that may be going wrong. I can’t believe the gaul and judgmentalism of some people! What happened to THEIR compassion? No one has the right to judge you, and no, it doesn’t matter what they think. I had to laugh at the way you expressed what you’d like to do to these judgmental people.:) I’ve seen the movie, The Secret, and good as I thought it was, it doesn’t take a lot into account. Anyway, I’m glad you managed to have compassion for those who judge you, though they have NO right to.

Therese, I also have suffered many years from depression. None of us chooses this affliction and only if you’ve suffered it can you really understand how it feels. Maybe it chooses us so that we become more tolerant of others points of view. I think people like Suzanne need to lighten up. She didn’t seem to catch the humor in your post. Maybe she was just having a bad day…. We all need humor and laughter. It really is the best medicine. But I also can’t help but wonder if your friend reads your blog and if so if she still wants to come to dinner!

Hi Therese, I guess a few of your blog responders are testing your compassion mettle today. The ones who don’t “get it” are probably also fond of denying all the biological evidence that being gay is not a “choice.” Suzanne, Sophie, Sarah, and others – do some research on recently acquired knowledge about the brain structure differences of many people who have major depression. Depression is not a one size fits all disease. It can be chemical, genetic, situational,part of a personality disorder, or a result of many kinds of deprivation or abuse that may not even be remembered. Most of us would not blame diabetics for not making the correct amount of insulin. Why blame a person with depression for not making enough seratonin or other neurotransmitters? One recent personal experience fianally proved to me that my depression is not caused by bad thoughts or spiritual impoverishment. I was doing quite well on a medication, but had some unpleasant side effects. My psychiatrist decided that I should try a different medication and seemed confident that this would be an improvement in many respects. I was excited by the possiblity (not “thinking my way to failure”). Within 3 days of the change, I was irritable. Within 1 week, I was crying all the time. OK, I said. Be patient while my brain adjusts to the meds. Two weeks into the change and I was full of rage, hopelessness, and severe agitation. I was switched back to a med of the type I had previously been on. One week later, I was shaken by the experience, but was back to normal, whatever that is for me. I’ve been in treatment for over 30 years and have done my share of self-blame – even while knowing full well that a large part of my illness was chemically based. The good that came from this experience is that I can now banish those self-blaming thoughts very soon after they pop up. I’m able to concentrate my mental energies on checking out the reality of events and feelings that would have formerly gone unchallenged – and sometimes even finding humor in the events, just as you, Therese, are doing in your blog. Thank you for sharing your unique responses to your daily adventures.

Dear Therese I love reading your articles too. I don’t think I suffer from depression but I’m going through a really tough time and you always have something to teach me. Thank you Angela

I absolutely love it. Your honesty is so refreshing. But what a relief to know that I don’t have to be right all the time. And neither do they.

This person is only think of his self if a come to money, I dont blem here, to spen the lettle bet of his money she does everything at home hi never reshit what she does for him,

This is a good slogan. ” Compassion is understanding the lack of understanding. My sister made my blood boil a few weeks back when she said to me..I dont understand people with mental illness. We were not even talking about me, but about someone else. You see one of my greatest abilities as someone who suffers from anxiety and depression is that some of you would never know the internal choas I feel…thats because its an invisible disability. I dont have a cast or a missing limb or scars. My disease is inside and people shouldn’t assume that just because I ” look ” ok that thats how it is…Someone asked me to apply for a job with as a mental health worker ( I am a womans counsellor)….Okay that shows me how good I hide things cause she had no clue what my mind has been going through with this last relapse. I didnt even know what to say..I stumbled on my words and said oh it would be a huge trigger for me…she boldy asked WHY???not understanding…I felt my shame…I brushed it off saying oh I have this ” anxiety thing” and my mom committed suicide etc…
ASSUME NOTHING…everyone should remember that.

You simply rock. I have had one of the suckiest months ever. Now. How would poison salmon anyways?
giggle. i have gotten sucked into the “revolution” of ‘THE SECRET” by Rhonda Byrne myself. Even beat myself up many times for thinking the wrong thoughts. Now, Jesus Christ did say think on things of good report, think of things lovely, whatsover things be beautiful, etc. But, to think that we actually have that much POWER. to think things into being? Maybe I am just to NARROW minded. I am confused with all of it, it appears our world is moving toward that direction though, our thoughts create our lives. I guess there would be no reason for GOD would there be now. IT seems as though to me he is our Prayer answerer. I do however believe that we can most certainly make a day better by choosing to change our attitudes. I look forward to your thoughts Therese, I think you are a lovely and genuine and REAL person.

Terese:
I went through this same s*** throughout the ’80s with the New Age and Human Potential movements, which — like cults — believe one size fits all and are taken aback by any dissent to their philosophies.
Just reading your column evoked both empathy and rage in me. I always felt invalidated and abused by those narrow-minded fools. In fact, I can still feel the anger.
Again, another example of people cerebralizing their feelings away, which is no more than glorified repression. They are not in touch with their own, so they have to invalidate yours.
I consider myself a very spiritual man. But I have to be careful who I communicate with about my feelings. In fact, I have to be careful about who I keep in my circle of friends.
I have to remind myself that it is okay to feel my feelings, including anger and depression, and to express that anger appropriately. There is no conflict between anger and spirituality, although I have met those that would deeply disagree with me.

thank you I needed that so much.I forget to have compassion.I need to remember that you never know where someone is coming from unless you have walked in their shoes.

my son is bipolar. the disease is cruel and painful to both him and those around him. how do i get FAMILY members to realize that compassion is what he needs and not judgement, condemnation and poison salmon? from one hurting mom who refuses to give up.

Terese: Thank you for your wonderful insight, I always find it amazing. And great to know that their is someone else struggling with these issues. It takes great courage to get past the lack of understanding to compassion, thanks for helping us get there.
And to supermom from another mom with a son who is bipolar, who also refuses to give up: Hang in there, it is very very hard some times, and some people just won’t get it for some reason. There are many people out there who are so narrow minded and think they have all the answers, often they are going on old stereotypes and old ways of treatment. Just try your best to educate them and pray that they eventually do get it and don’t have to learn the hard way! Peace

Theresa – I am wondering why you had this individual over in the first place, knowing what you know about her. Granted, you are ahead of the game if you have learned the lesson of compassion, but shouldn’t we chose people in our life who don’t put us through trips like this?
Lady of light

Oh my gosh … I too was experiencing that all too familiar irritation as I read “A Bad Compassion Day”. Finally it has been put in a perspective that makes complete sense to me. As the 4th child in a family of 5 (we are all granparents now) I have lived my life with the all too frequent irritations of my family and the family dynamics. Since my earliest memories, my siblings and my mother always claim to be more informed on any subject that is raised … how to walk, talk, think, laugh, cry, and even die … my dad, now deceased, was the only one that understood and often even encouraged my independence and my direction. I do not consider myself a non-conformist, I simply don’t conform just because it may be the easiest or most familar path. No matter what I have an appreciation or dislike for, or an opinion of, there is always an attempt by my family to question it, argue with it or invalidate it. When I stand firm on a position and I am confronted, I am always referred to as the “hard head” and at times, other less flattering terms. Nice huh? I have always worked and have made a decent living, I am moral, I believe in treating others with kindness and courtesy, I am spiritual and I take an active interest in the world around me. In spite of this, I have always been frustrated with how my family views me. The magic words in the story that stuck with me, “understanding their lack of understanding”. From now on, I will remember not to hand them any power over me when we do not share opinions and philosophies.

ALL WAYS CHECK WITH GOD IN YOUR THOUGHTS AND ACTIONS I BELIEVE THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT. FOR WE ALL ARE OF SIN AND NEED GUIDANCE, AMEN
RUTH

Wow, well written, and i can TOTALLY relate and gave me a laugh and made me appreciate myself more too.

What is this “Secret” I keep hearing people refer to? A book or something? Peace to you all!

Living a life full of compassion and offering unconditional love is a blessing to be treasured and kept. What happens when we are in a place when we desperately need compassion and unconditional love even when people may not understand? You don’t have to understand to be compassionate, sit with a friend, dry a tear, or just listen. We know you can’t fix the problem – but during such times of despair when a friend who’s experienced similar situations – knowing no 2 situations are alike – walks away or is unable to offer themselves to your presence can be more devastating than the issues at hand. It comes down to expectations – the fewer we have, the less we are disappointed. It just seems that there ought to be a time that you know you can count on someone – no matter time or place and without feeling like you have to carefully choose your words as you share them. – Then again, we all do the best we can at the time with what we have to work with – and surely the lack of offering compassion isn’t purposeful in nature, rather they just don’t know what to do. But at this moment in time, if someone said, “I don’t know what to do but I am here for you” I’d lay my head on their shoulder and cry that gut wrenching cry that comes when it hurts so much. Instead, I’m learning to do that on my own -which could be perceived as a positive – but I’ve also lost faith in someone that I believed truly cared about me. That’s a whole ‘nother Oprah Show! Thanks for listening!
keepthefaith45

i always believe God will change me 4 good.friends just trust Him and u will see the change

I agree that if a person is unsure about a beliefe they try to convince everyone. I also feel when i truely believe in something i can handle other people’s ignorance.
I personally think it’s more a case of Responsibilty than blame.
Taking resopnsibilty for our actions. Not trying to censor people’s oppinion, but having the courage to express our own when we disagree. Without worrying it will have catastrophic consequenses.
I don’t understand why it would be so awful if we could control our own mental health problems. There is so much more Hope in the possiblity of not being reliant on drugs. Surely it’s worth exhausting all avenues, before dismissing them.
I am also a great believer in ‘leading by example’ (albeit only resently able to achieve) and not giving advice unless requested, unless it’s a blog.
People say there is more sympathy with physical illness’. Evan there studies have shown our state of mind has a big impact e.g. stress on aggravatig any condition. There are a variety of ways we can be psychologically affected, Psycho symatic symptoms.
At the end of the day, we all think we’re being helpful.
Finally, if we want people to understand we need to share our feelings, their not mind readers.

I agree that if a person is unsure about a beliefe they try to convince everyone. I also feel when i truely believe in something i can handle other people’s ignorance.
I personally think it’s more a case of Responsibilty than blame.
Taking resopnsibilty for our actions. Not trying to censor people’s oppinion, but having the courage to express our own when we disagree. Without worrying it will have catastrophic consequenses.
I don’t understand why it would be so awful if we could control our own mental health problems. There is so much more Hope in the possiblity of not being reliant on drugs. Surely it’s worth exhausting all avenues, before dismissing them.
I am also a great believer in ‘leading by example’ (albeit only resently able to achieve) and not giving advice unless requested, unless it’s a blog.
People say there is more sympathy with physical illness’. Evan there studies have shown our state of mind has a big impact e.g. stress on aggravatig any condition. There are a variety of ways we can be psychologically affected, Psycho symatic symptoms.
At the end of the day, we all think we’re being helpful.
Finally, if we want people to understand we need to share our feelings, their not mind readers.

thank you for that.££we sayhere in ireland,@horses for courses@ and not everyone has to be on my course.so liberating—let the mystery be.most of us are doing our very best,within our own skins—i truelly believe that.no everyone sees things my way,nor do they,for me associate with them.my attitude–@@now isnt that interesting@@i have never quite seen it that way before.maybe i can learn something new—about myself,about the other person,about life.thank you Lord,for the difference,which draws me deeper to truth.
joe

Therese,
Your blog on compassion was just what I needed today. It was a breath of fresh air to know that I am not alone in my inner battle to do good to those who are not necessarily kind to us!
Thanks!

Im so glad i read this, made me really think of alot of things.

I work in the medical field and I can tell you that a patient’s “outlook” on life has a great deal to do with if and how they heal. I work day in and day out with people from all economic and racial backgrounds and I can tell you who will heal the fastest and get out of the hospital sooner…based on their personality. It is no accident that patients with hypochondria have lots of things wrong with them (!). Patients with a positive mental outlook just seem to do better, heal faster, and the staff love patients like this (are they getting better service…maybe?). This is a fact.
Larry Dossey MD wrote an interesting book about the power of prayer on illness. According to his scientific studies, prayer works…even when the patient doesn’t know they are being prayed for. I find this fascinating.
When I watched “The Secret” with a friend..the only part(s) I really remember are those who healed from illness. I have seen that very thing with my own eyes…”miracle” healings for those who refuse to give up.
We may not like the messenger…, but the message has been around a very long time. As the Bible says “as a man thinketh in his heart so he is” Proverbs Chapter 23. There is a book of the same name written in 1902 here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/As_a_Man_Thinketh

Ignorance is not bliss. Many people lack compassion for even the family members of those suffering from mental illness. So be it. I was attack thirteen times in one day at my work place by nursing staff because my spouse who did nothing to any of them but be kind came to pick up a check from me at work as I was his Guardian we were going through a divorce because he had ask for one .It had nothing to do with them they told me to get an oozie and blow his head off for my protection. They blew everything way out of proportion planned and schemed together to attack me in every way shape an form they possible could one unbelievable thing lead to another.The nursing staff gathered together like a group of devils each swarming me and attacking me verbally hurling insults and lies at me. Dragging others in on it from another unit and another department. Can you imagine how I felt needless to say I moved to another department after giving those Joe blows twenty three years of dedicated service. Each time one of them see me now from the old department they gawk at me. I pray for these ignorant enemies every night and day. My own supervisor to this day has not ask me what went on she took their words hook, line and sinker. She is guilty of being hateful toward me also. Anyway I was told I could return to my old place to work do you think I did??????????Absolutely not.I have physicians coming up to me to this day telling me how much they miss me in the old unit that I had been so dedicated to and tell me what a great job I did for them does this tell you something.
I wish a special loving place called acceptance could be erected for those that suffer from any type of so called mental illness could be in place so these people can find their passion in life and live their dreams of creative powers out as artist, photographers,code breakers, It amazes me how the world can not comprehend that being understood with compassion would be such a help. We have a world of people that have not had this in their lifetime. My heart goes out to you as far as celebrities that do a know it all program and think they have life figured out that is television that is not the real world. The main thing to remember is that we are all created by the same God we are the way we are for a reason and a season what ever it may be. Yes , we did get a divorce on my spouses recommendation. Are we happy about it? It was a tough choice and we are still very good friends and he will always always be my best friend.He and God that is.

There was a true statement that brings me so much peace to remember, I saw posted outside a local church on my way to work. Not the church I go to, but right on the mark. It said, ” Joy is not the absence of suffering, but the presence of the Lord”. If we are interested in compassion, and understanding, then those are the basic requirements of gospel living, other than the primary repentance. If we have the Lord with us, “who can be against us”? I hope everything that happens in your life will bring you to a place in your heart and mind that is filled with everlasting peace. If life is eternal, and if we believe in ressurection, and we know it is, how could we stand it, without learning how to arrive at peace? Yes? God helps through prayer and scripture study of the examples of others who have gone before, and through the influence of the Holy Ghost. Am I preachy? Maybe. But so what if it works? I know life can be excruciating at times. But if we didn’t go through it, how would we know what to do about it? I hope you will be able to fill your life with Joy and that you have a great life, the kind you will want forever.