Hi, You managed to hit two of my pet peeves about being bipolar today. 1) Weight gain. I took Depatcote for years complaining about the weight issue until after 5 years and 90 pounds I was taken off. I have arthritis and the weight gain makes things so much more painful. I immediately lost 20 and took 10 off more slowly. I still have 60 to go and just the idea of dieting for so long makes me want to eat chocolate. I have never liked vegetables and making myself eat them is like pulling teeth. all this gives my depression so much gist for the mill. 2) You can’t get a job when you are crying. Why the hell not. Why aren’t there jobs you can keep when you are miserable? There must be something one can do and cry at the same time. Maybe I am not too pleasant to be around but I could do something all by myself. Why does depression mean unemployed? Just working would improve my self esteem. I can work at home but when I am depressed I have no self discipline. If I get the dishes done and dinner on I am doing good. It is fortunate my floors are wood as they don’t show the dirt. Besides I need the money. Money issues are making my life unmanageable all by themselves. We ended up with $30.00 for groceries this week.I d like some relief from my actual problems so I can know that I will need to come up with something new for my next depression LOL Nora

Nora — It sounds like a vicious cycle you are in. I would imagine that your life is rather isolated. You are home alone a great deal and have a lot of time on your hands. I am certain that your problems seem overwhelming and leave you feeling hopeless. I, too, suffer from depression, though not bi-polar disorder. During the summer when I am not teaching, I have way too much time on my hands and getting a summer job for the six to eight weeks I am available is pretty impossible. This has worked for me so far this summer: I’ve set myself some boundaries. My weakness is the internet; I use it for my work, but also for escape. In that way, it is a lot like food. I have to access it every day, but my time on it can quickly get out of control. My first boundary is that I eat breakfast and spend fifteen minutes or so reading Scripture and praying before I allow myself any ‘net time. I also get out of the house walking every day. I am not particularly quick, nor do I walk for more than twenty minutes, but it gives me time to think outside of the four walls. It is amazing how much there is to experience in a rather boring neighborhood. Sunrise, fog, birdsong, sunsets, they can all be appreciated whether you live in a city or the country. If you are blessed with a variety of gardens to pass, you can enjoy them without the labor. And all this is free for the taking.
Getting out of the house and volunteering on a regular basis could open many new doors. First, being around people will lift your spirits. I usually think I want to be left alone and don’t want to see people, but when I do, I always feel better. I can’t think of any organization that has too many volunteers. Volunteering may also help put your own life into perspective. It seems to me that being needed is a basic requirement of a healthy life. If you feel like the world is no different because of your existance, it is a pretty depressing thought. So think about volunteering in an area that interests you. You may ultimately make the sort of connections you need for employment.
If you are at all like me and most other people, getting out of your comfort zone is a very threatening thing. The misery we know is so much more predictable, than the unknown around the corner. But I would encourage you to take small steps outside your comfort zone — they don’t have to be earth-shattering changes. I think that you will be able to take some pride in these small steps, which will be an encouragement to greater things.
Remember that God has plans for you. Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you, says the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.
Barbara

Depression is a fact of life. But, like in my case & others, some need medication & therapy to handle their depression. I do agree some Doctors over medicate their patiences. I’ve got a friend that’s taken too meds for her depression. But, she says the Doctor wants her to take them for a bunch of reasons. But, she still seams depressed some of the time. The funny part with all the meds she’s on she’s losing weight but with me just being a couple of meds I can’t lose anything but a few lbs then I gain it back + more. Which makes me more depressed.