Beyond Blue

Beyond Blue

Morning Has Broken for Phil

posted by Beyond Blue | 11:00am Thursday May 31, 2007

On Wednesday’s show Oprah also interviewed Phil Aronson, husband of Emme Aronson, formerly the world’s leading plus-size super model and Revlon cover girl.

I think his story is important to tell too because our society often thinks of depression as a women’s disease when six million American men are diagnosed with depression each year. (And I apologize if I leave the guys out sometimes on my blog.)

The summary of Oprah’s interview, found on her website, gave me chills because I’ve been exactly where Phil was…unable to think of anything but suicide for days on end, and hating myself for what that was doing to my family.

Here’s his story, (and their story as a couple):

In 2001, shortly after the birth of their first child, Emme began to notice changes in her husband Phil’s personality. “Right after Toby was born, strange things started to happen,” she says. “Phil was retreating, not vivacious and bubbly. And [he had] outbursts of anger.”

Phil spiraled into a severe depression after developing a debilitating pain that he says tortured him. He discovered later that the pain was caused by prostatitis, the inflammation of the prostate gland located at the end of a male’s urethra.

During this time, Phil says he wouldn’t get out of bed for days on end. “I wouldn’t comb my hair. I wouldn’t shave. I hated myself,” he says. “It’s just the deepest, darkest abyss that anyone could ever imagine.” Phil was prescribed antidepressants, but he says they had little effect.

Afraid for Phil’s well-being, Emme put her career on hold so that she could be there for her husband. “For two and a half years, she stepped out of her life and into my life and it affected everything,” he says. “She was the housekeeper, the breadwinner, the mother and the father during my illness.”

As months turned into years, Phil sank deeper into depression. His thoughts soon turned to suicide. “He started talking about how he was going to kill himself,” Emme says. “It started to happen every week, and then it started happening every hour, practically. Then he would get into descriptive details as to what exactly he was going to do…. I was a woman on the brink of her own disaster–of her own emotional breakdown.”

Phil remembers telling his wife, “I’m going to kill myself,” almost every 15 minutes when he was at his lowest point. “Our family would gather together and they would say to Phil, ‘You can’t say this to Emme every single hour. You’re making her crazy,’” Emme says.

Finally, Phil says he couldn’t take it any longer. One night, he went into his sleeping daughter’s bedroom to say goodbye. Then, he locked himself in the bathroom and tried to kill himself by overdosing on prescription drugs.

Emme found him the next morning, in bed and not moving. “I looked to my side and I saw the note, and I’m like, ‘Oh, my God,’” she says. “I was very angry at Phil for trying to leave us.”

After Phil’s suicide attempt, he was committed to a psychiatric unit for two and half months. While under lockdown, Phil’s safety was the number-one priority. Doctors didn’t let him have access to medication, sharp objects or sheets.

“It was the darkest, deepest, most horrific time I could ever imagine in my life,” Phil says.

Psychotherapy and medication didn’t seem to be helping, so doctors recommended that Phil undergo electroconvulsive therapy (ECT). This procedure isn’t like the shock treatments from the ’30s and ’40s, Phil says.

In the book, “Morning Has Broken,” Phil talks about the day he broke free from his crippling depression. Shortly after his ECT treatments, Phil’s younger brother lost his long battle with brain cancer.

“[My brother] came to visit me at the psych ward, he said, ‘Phil, life is for the living and I love you and I promise you’re going to get better,’” he says. “And in fact, I did. When he died, that next morning I woke up and it was the first time in two and a half years that I got out of bed and actually wanted to live.”

Emme says she immediately knew that the man she married was back. “I could see in his eyes,” she says. “When someone is depressed, they go away…. And that next morning, he was back.”

Phil and Emme credit his recovery to a loving family and access to the best treatments. As one of millions who have suffered from depression, Phil says he felt that it was important to tell his story. “Everyone has their own story,” he says. “But if we can talk about it, we can help to initiate change.”



Previous Posts

Rewire Your Brain For Love: An Interview with Marsha Lucas, Ph.D.
In the spirit of Valentine's Day, I thought I’d feature an interview with a very cool licensed psychologist and neuropsychologist that I was lucky enough to meet in person at a book signing back in September. Marsha Lucas, Ph.D., has been practicing psychotherapy and studying the brain-behavior re

posted 6:00:56am Feb. 14, 2012 | read full post »

Love Deeply ...
Valentine's Day is a good time to remember all the ways we can be loving, not just to the guy/gal sitting across from you at the kitchen table, but also your boss, your mother, your boss's mother, and her mother. One of my very favorite reflections from Henri Nouwen is "Love Deeply," found in hi

posted 6:00:28am Feb. 13, 2012 | read full post »

Therapy Thursday: Sweat
I have decided to dedicate a post on Thursday to therapy, and offer you the many tips I have learned on the couch. They will be a good reminder for me, as well, of something small I can concentrate on. Many of them are published in my book, "The Pocket Therapist: An Emotional Survival Kit." Work

posted 6:01:57am Feb. 09, 2012 | read full post »

Scrupulosity: What It Is and Why It's Dangerous
If you sprinkle a hefty dose of Catholic (or Jewish) guilt unto a fragile biochemistry headed toward a severe mood disorder, you usually arrive at some kind of a religious nut. Not that there’s anything wrong with that! For I am one. I have said many places that growing up Catholic, for me, was

posted 6:17:35am Feb. 07, 2012 | read full post »

The Treasures of Darkness
We often equate darkness with sorrow, misery, get-me-the-hell-out-of-here reaction. At least I do. That’s why I keep a mammoth Happy Lite on my smallish cubicle at work. But darkness can also be a treasure. Say what? J. R. Miller writes this in “From Streams in the Desert” by L. B. C

posted 6:06:40am Feb. 06, 2012 | read full post »

Advertisement
Comments read comments(1)
post a comment
Albernecia Davis

posted August 20, 2007 at 4:03 pm


I am happy for Phil and Emme Aronson. I know the dark abyss of depression. The medications I have to take EVERY DAY, morning and night are what’s helping me to breath. Many people think depression is just a mind thing or a whim that controllable by will,not so. It would be wonderful if this was the case. I am glad men and women of the cloth are being educated about this disease. Even the police officers are taking classes to know how to handle people with depression, but they have a long way to go. We can’t just ‘GET OVER IT’ without the proper medical and mental treatments, our pyschiatrist, psychotherapist, depression support groups, family and friends. THERE MUST BE A HEDGE of PROTECTION for us. The saying ” Let go and let God” is suppose to be a magic pill to erase all of our horrific thoughts, not so. But hearing of others struggles and successes makes that thorn in our sides NOT so insurmontable. Thanks.



report abuse
 

Post a Comment

By submitting these comments, I agree to the beliefnet.com terms of service, rules of conduct and privacy policy (the "agreements"). I understand and agree that any content I post is licensed to beliefnet.com and may be used by beliefnet.com in accordance with the agreements.

Share this story


About Beliefnet

Our mission is to help people like you find, and walk, a spiritual path that will bring comfort, hope, clarity, strength, and happiness. More about Beliefnet.

Help

Media Kit

Subscribe

Legal

Copyright © Beliefnet, Inc. and/or its licensors. All rights reserved. Use of this site is subject to Terms of Service and to our Privacy Policy. Constructed by Beliefnet.

Advertisement

Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.