Poor Body Image: Depression's Evil Twin
Thursday May 24, 2007
Categories: Fitness
What is the worst possible question you could ask a woman with a history of an eating disorder (or any female, but especially a female with body-image issues)?I'll give you a hint—it's three words long and ends with an eight-lettered...
Add to Del.icio.us
Add to Technorati
Add to Digg
Add to Newsvine
Add to Facebook
Add to StumbleUpon
Advertisement
Advertisement
Search This Blog
Subscribe
About Beyond Blue
Beyond Blue: The Book!
Can't get enough of Therese’s wise, funny, uplifting journey through depression and anxiety?
Pre-order your copy of her upcoming book today!
Pre-order your copy of her upcoming book today!
Most Popular Posts
- A Tiny Glimpse Inside a Neurotic Head:
- 16 Ways Depression Is Like a Pumpkin:
- Daylight Savings Time and SAD:
- Video: Me on the Bad Days:
- Glenn Close Tackles Mental Illness ... Thank You!:
- Mindful Monday: When Darkness Surrounds You:
- Mindful Monday: 11 Ways to Treat the Death Thoughts That Come with Depression and Anxiety:
- Mindful Monday: Dare to Stay with Your Pain, Stay with Your Loneliness:
- Time Magazine: The State of the American Woman:
- Video: Depression Is Like a Pumpkin:
Tag Cloud
addiction, anxiety, Anxiety, Beyond Blue, bipolar disorder, Catholicism, Christmas, depression, Depression, depression blog, depression support, Emotional Health, faith, friendship, God, Group Beyond Blue, humor, inspiration, marriage, Marriage, mental health, mental illness, Mental Illness, prayer, Recovery, recovery, relationships, stigma, therapy, Therese Borchard
Meet others on the journey in
Therese's community group
Ask Therese to be your friend
Follow Therese on these partner sites:
Recent Posts
Archives
Blogroll
- McMan's Depression and Bipolar Web
- Knowledge is Necessity
- Explore What's Next
- Finding Optimism
- World of Psychology
- The Happiness Project
- Mindfulness and Psychotherapy
- Family Mental Health
- Storied Mind
- Postpartum Progress
- The Trouble With Spikol
- Coping with Life
- Fresh Living
- Bipolar Beat
- Depression on My Mind
- Anxiety & OCD Exposed
- Celebrity Psychings
- Everyone Needs Therapy
- The Splintered Mind
- Families for Depression Awareness
- We Must Not Think Too Much
- Maternally Challenged
I think running 8 miles is abnormal LOL. I guess you know those 2 pounds you lost are due to water? I feel for you. Being asked if you are pregnant is soul destroying. I had it happen to me at one stage when I was taking meds and overeating. the woman looked embarrassed and didn't know how to extract herself. If only I'd thought to say it was a side effect of my brain tumour medication! Good luck with everything and... gosh I don't know what to say except perhaps you could take advantage of beliefnet's cool new tool...
At least Ed has a sense of humour, (black humour.) The comment, "You are widening more quickly that the ozone layer is thinning!", demonstrates that on some level that Ed is a tamed demon, (compared to what that interior dialogue was in the bad ole days.) Humour is a good sign, if you have a sense of the absurd it is difficult to get so caught up in Ed. Laughing remove the fangs and claws, and allows a sense of proportion to return. Humour, an underrated treatment for depression and nervous disorders.
I feel you, I had that same question asked to me a year ago (in a hammam, a Turkish bath in Istanbul), and it wasn't pleasant and not good for my self-esteem at all. And yes, I do have a belly, but also a healthy weight (BMI somewhere between 20 and 21), but pregnant? I don't think I look that way. But hey, the woman who asked that to me, had to be sure I wasn't pregnant, because a hammam is not healthy when you are. But still, I had tears in my eyes.
I was misdiagnosed as having anorexia nervosa in 1970, when I ultimately wound up in a Srate Mental Hospital weighing 78 pounds (I'm 5'9"). I had been on the University psychiatric ward for two months, and my insurance was running out and they were clearing out the ward for Christmas. They told my Mother they were sending me there to die. My assigned Resident had done all he could to insure that I was intentionally labeled "psychotic;" he kept pumping me with psychotropic medications, cold remedies, pain pills, ad nauseum, until I became a wraith who didn't have the appetite to eat. I had been naturally skinny all my life, with a VERY hearty love for food, even though I couldn't gain a lot of weight. I was "model" thin, and, in fact, did some runway modellng in high school. I had no conception of my severe weight loss at the University, so I nearly shocked myself when the State Hospital nurse weighed me and said,"You're up to 84 pounds; you've gained some weight." GAINED SOME WEIGHT??!! What did I weigh before? They sent me to the medical wing of the hospital, and threatened tube feeding if I didn't eat. My family brought fruit baskets, candy, cookies, cake, etc., but I just ignored them. Ultimately, however, it was a Philippino doctor who diagnosed Pernicious Anemia (I had had surgery a year before to remove a third of my stomach, which produced red blood cells,and was never told this could happen). My treatment consisted of Vitamin B-12 injections 2Xday, megavitamins, mid-morning and mid-afternoon shakes, and double helpings at meals. The very name - Pernicious Anemia - scared me as much if not more than being labeled "anorexic." "Pernicious" means "fatal." Fortunately, with the regimen the doctor put me on, I was only kept at the hospital for four more months, leaving with a comfortable weight of 110 pounds! I don't have any "body image" issues as related to anorexia, as I never TRIED to abstain from eating to become thinner. The resident who prescribed all the meds ultimately became an alcoholic, who ended up at the State Hospital as an Alcoholic Team Leader (psychiatrist) who committed suicide at 48. I'm just glad it's all behind me. My weight has ballooned as high as 178 pounds when I was married to my first late husband, but after he died, it went down to 125. I now weigh 120 pounds, after being at 115 pounds for a year. I HAVE an appetite; I love food. Just be aware that there can be extenuating circumstances when one is "misdiagnosed" one way or the other.
Jeez, so damn true! You seem like reading my mind most of times. I am so glad I found your blog (I am a belliefnet reader since like 4 years, but never came across you until last month). You surely know this line, it s of my favs: "It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society." -Krishnamurti Wishing you best,
gi
I can sympathize about being asked if you are pregnant. I have gone from 236 pounds down to 165 pounds through diet and exercise. I am often asked if I am pregnant because I have a big tummy despite everything else being "normal". I usually just respond with "I am not pregnant I am just fat" Well last week was the real kicker...I was asked when my twins are due!!!! I was floored. I just gave my usual response. But I was really hurt. I wish people would be more courteous. Comments can really hurt especially when someone has worked so hard to lose weight. I try to keep a good attitude but comments like this can really set you back if you let it.I have enough to be depressed about without someone adding to it. I hope people will learn to be nicer and keep their comments to themselves.
I can empathize with you as I too have a belly and weigh 124.5. I am 4'10, and I work out when I can.
I agree with your husband.."Who cares?" What I hear in that statement "Don't worry or get depressed about what people say. You know the truth and you know how hard you have worked." Best wishes for you and prayers that you will maintain your weight and learn to look in the mirror and see a beautiful woman, A Higher Power's child who has never ending love for you just the way you are. A suggestion is look in the mirror daily as much as you need to and say to that lovely woman,"Your beautiful and I love you just the way you are." ELayne
*WOW!* Please understand that while you had me in stitches in a couple of places, I think the giggling was so I wouldn't cry. It's the recognition of someone else knows what that feeling of desperate insaness is like. Someone else knows what it's like to take up the shield of Humor and the Sword of Sharp Wit and face the Dragons, a.k.a. the "Eds" in our lives. Because if we don't, we're going to go sliding back down into that dark abyss, and this time, we won't make it out again. Your husband is *RIGHT*. You are fine. And looking at yourself in the mirror and telling yourself "I love you just the way you are" is one of the most important things you can do. Whenever I read your posts, I may not always leave a comment, but I immediately say a prayer for you; that God keeps shining little extra lights on your path to keep you going *away* from the abyss, and to thank Him for leading me to your posts, because some days, your posts are my extra little lights on my path. Now, go look in the mirror, say "I love you" and blow rasberries at Ed. *HUGS* ME
Thank you for sharing this. I have had body dysmorphic issues my entire adult life. Self loathing and shame comes into play when I gain just a few pounds. I get panicked and depressed when I can't fit into my size five Calvins and am happy when I can.
I know these are irrational thoughts and I try not to give them much room to talk. They sure take over though - its like my mind has a mind of its own... I have enjoyed doing yoga - it is so helpful for my frazzled nervous system... I love reading stories like yours because it allows me to be more transparent with my own issues as well.
Thank you for sharing your story with us. When I was reading it it sounded so much like when I had encountered several rude and insensitive ladies who had asked me this question . Are you pregnant? It is so annoying. When a 60 year old lady asked me very loudly and publicly at one luncheon In reply I told her I am 3 months pregnant and she looks she is due in 3 months! I have three daughters and I am going to give them the same advise like your wise mum did. Thanks again and now I know that I not the only one that had encounter such ppl.
I thought getting on the scale was pretty much "acting out" for people with body image issues and food addictions?
Your article is interesting and I can certainly relate to a lot of it. I just wonder if sentences like "I roomed with anorexic woman who looked like she belonged in a biology lab"[sic]are feeding your addiction issues. That's a pretty perjorative statement about someone else's body! I know from my own experience, when I'm doing that stuff to others, I'm concurrantly doing it to myself three times as hard.
I'm not sure how you write a descriptive article without that stuff though??? Interesting thing to ponder.
I like that way you approach this stuff with a sense of humble humor. Thanks.
I know exactly how you feel on every aspect of what you said. I have been dealing with anorexia since I was 11. I do understand when you said you ran eight miles. I would have done the same! How funny it was that you referred to your problem as Ed. I, too, use the same name. To tell you the truth, "he" is on my back everyday. I go through periods where I am ok with eaating, but he always comes back to haunt me later and with a vengence. I tried to find help also, but I can never keep with it and always end up not going to see the doctors. But, I do think it's great you are doing better. Congratulations on that!
Hi!
I hate that question! It was asked of me one time when I worked in an upscale women's dress shop. The woman was older and asked "when are you due?" I replied, "I'm not." I got no I'm sorry, she just walked away from me with a puzzled look. The next week the same woman came into the shop and asked me the same question so I touched my stomach and acted like I was in labor, and said "It looks like RIGHT NOW!" This woman did come back to the shop, but didn't say anything to me about my weight again.
I enjoy your writing a lot! I have suffered depression most of my life, so I can relate to a lot of your thoughts- I think the more those who aren't blessed with depression understand it the better off the world is going to be. And yes, I did say "Blessed" because I have learned a great deal about myself through the years working out how to cope with depression. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!
Body image to me is important.i rmember a friend telling me that this body of mine is not me and he was right. I am really skinny and aim to be again because my aging well depends on it. i no longer feel the hige weight that kept me depressed so i have grown to understand that it is up to me to do it. no one else acn eat healthy ofr me or exercize for me because my body has to do it.
If someone told me I was pregnant right now I would be pleased becsuse at this age it would be a miracle.LOL
i have made small changes at first and have come to a point where i am actually taking steps to lose the weight over six years; cut down on salt, stopped eatin sugar, started drinking water, climb on the scale at least once a week. staretd to walk, cycle and use my muscles, It takes time to get there but I am happy I did because i keep the weight in the forefront of my thoughts and atht helps me to focvus aon how important aging healthy is for me.
What you described is not reasonable behavior because it it expecting that running eight miles is going to take care of the weight loss. ialways like the fairy tale the Tortoise and The Hare. I am more like the turtle.
Take care of yourself and learn the concept of self compassion.
Haydee
I have been a Large woman all my life,I have tipped the scale as high as 298 lbs,right now I weight 230 lbs.And I learned to Love and respect myself and I don't care what other people think or care what I look like.To know me is to love and like me and if you can't handle that then I don't need you as a part of my life,I don't have the time.Oh by the way I'll be 50 years old in Nov.
I have never had a weight problem or eating disorder. I am now 51 and have made the journey to the island of menopause and find myself over weight for the first time. I also have am not able to work out as effectively as I use to because of artritis. I am struggling for the first time with sadness do too I sense of loss because I don't recognize the woman I see in the mirror any more. I am thankfull for my grandsons who don't give me a lot of time to dwell on this path that I am struggling thru.
I will be 65 this year and retired from working for 25 yrs. Im depressed because I cant find a part time job that I would like. Ive sent out resumes and got nothing in return.. I think my age has a lot to do with it..
anyhow I weigh 173 pounds and and bulges in different places I never had before I live alone but have several pets to keep me company. im a widow of 7 yrs. I have kids and grandkids but somehow I have become a hermit and stay in the house all the time now. Living on a fixed income is very hard. when I worked I had the money and no time for anything.. now I have lots of time and no money to do anything but pay the bills. I only had friends at work but now they dont bother anymore as they are still working and we have nothing in common.. Im afraid to travel anywhere alone because of all the crime out there.
SO I eat three meals a day and watch tv and read books.. I dont care that my body is not perfect and never was Im just enjoying my pets and my house and eat whenever I want to I really believe its time to just take care of me for a change.
Hello. I really enjoyed your article. I am 31 (almost 32 in a few weeks) and I have suffered with depression since right after I had my daughter. I have not learned how to deal with it, but I am trying. I have dealt with my body image for as long as I can remember. My sister were always skinnier than me and I was always told that I didn't need to back for seconds (I remember that in high school). Even when I was wearing a size 9 and my pants were falling off of me, I still felt fat. My husband (who is no longer with me) never really made me feel fat or anything, but I still struggled with how I looked. I am getting ready to go on a diet and excerise. Not because I feel fat, but because I need to be in better shape to have more energy and help in dealing with depression. I just have to motivate my self to do it. I used to look for something or someone to blame for my depression, now I just deal with and as soon as my insurance kicks in, I will seek medical advice and meds to help. I have taken anti-depressisants before, I just haven't found the right one. Anyway, thank you that there is someone out there who is willing to share something that so many of us have in common, but are afraid to talk about. Thanks again.
Rachel
I was always underweight as a child, i didnt like to eat, guess my mom wasnt that good of a cook. When i got married at 17, my husbands mom was THE BEST cook I had ever known. I started gaining weight at 5 pound increments, I had two babies each gaining 30 pounds, and I have NEVER lost the baby fat or the other fat....! When I got married I was 118 pounds, when I got divorced 13 1/2 years later, I was 150. I now weigh close to 250. I hate the way I look, my 2nd husband whom I loved with all my heart and soul, got so he didnt want to be with me, I ended up divorcing him even tho, I loved him so much, I couldnt take the rejection anylonger. Even now, 10 years later, and being told by my best friend whom wont touch me, and, my ex who has come back into my life that they dont want to be with me because I have left my self go. I am 55 and feel no hope of ever finding the answer to loosing this weight...
I know I need counceling, but, I have never found a councelor who I can really work with, the last one fell asleep while Ii was talking to her....made me feel real good about myself.
Rejection, bad self image, abandoment, many many issues....
cant find a decent paying job, and, the only way I can make it financially.... is to live with the two people whom I love so very much, and they wont/cant love me back.
I am working on not eating the wrong foods, and put walking into my day, but, the pounds are not coming off...I am hungry all of the time, and, emotionally/physically lonely, which, does not make for a good situation...
I am 47 years old and have been overweight by 20 - 50 lbs most of my adult life since my first pregnancy. All of my life I have been told that I am a beautiful woman with a gorgeous face; and much to pretty to be this heavy. I struggle every day with my food choices on a daily basis, now weighing 186 lbs. and up 18 lbs, in a year. I have lost 17 of the original 30 lbs. I gained last year. I gain quick and lose slow. I weigh myself several times a day and chastise myself when I have a bad day of eating. I feel very isolated by this problem and even when I look good; I hate the way I look. That is the sad truth. I am curious to know if anyone else has the same issues. Oh and I am always on a diet -
When I was very little, I was small. I had some sense of love even though there were numerous issues too complicated for such a young child to express in words. I was a clingy, whiny, crying child. I talked too loud which was part of not being able to hear enough. I was a mouth breather because I couldn't get enough air through my nose sufficient for my body. I had several older siblings whom most called me ugly, spoiled, rotten. I used to suck my thumb, well, even now sometimes. It gives me comfort. My siblings and I would play Quaker's Meeting and when I had a consequence they sometimes would put tobasco sauce on my thumb to stop me from sucking it. I cried. Growing older I felt fat. I had zits. I had oily skin and would sweated profusely. I felt fat, ugly, and disgusting. I was shy but aggressive and wanted my own way. Having many bosses (older siblings included) was just too much information to take in. I had trouble concentrating. I was bored. Everyone was always so busy or working. If I made an inappropriate comment I was berated. "What are you, stupid?!" If I enjoyed something and someone didn't like it he/she would make fun of me. Depression had overshadowed much of my life even under the age of 10. I was extremely self-conscious. I wanted someone to love me. I wanted someone to love. I married at 19 and 20 years and three children later divorced after going downhill enough that I was going to die physically. Seven years, lots of prayer, His forgiveness, medication, sisters in Christ, and many others who have helped along the way, I am coming back to being a BETTER me. The old shell of a person is coming off but in layers day by day. It still feels a long way off sometimes and on other days feels truly like a piece of Heaven. There is hope. I have endured/uncovered some--not all--of past issues that have eaten my insides and poisoned my mind. I hope my words have helped even one person to see that it really is never too late for a new start to being the person you were born and meant to be. Thanks for letting me share.
Everyone is beautiful in his/her own way-however,overweight and obesity is a health issue-it affects your quality of life. If you're over weight,there are many different options available to lose the weight.It's up to YOU to take action and start. It's not easy,but don't make it hard-it's ALL DOABLE. GET GOING-LOSE IT! You can...!
I am 53 1/2 years old and have been married to the same man for just about 36yrs. He has ALWAYS told me I was beautiful and sexy etc. but I have never felt that way . I have always been overweight,except when I was born. I was actually a small baby. When I met my husband,I weighed 140lbs.That was still(according to all the grafts)about10-15 lbs. over what I should have been. I soon ballooned up to 276 lbs.!!!! I have since gone down to 180 lbs., but I still am almost obsessive about losing more weight! My husband and a friend and a cousin of mine INSIST I am looking GOOD!!! I tell them that they remember me when I was 276 for so many years and so of course they think I look great. About 2 yrs ago , I actually got down to 163!!!!!!and these same people said that the whole family was worried because I looked sickly. I FELT GREAT!!!!! Now I'm obsessed about getting down there again. My husband is worried because I am a type 2 diabetic, but I HAVE to get down to the 163 AT LEAST to feel a little better about myself. Well,enough of me. Thanks for letting me share. P.S. I already have seen a Nutritionist and I'm seeing a Therapist. God Bless.
AS A CHILD I WAS THIN TO NORMAL WEIGHT AND TALL FOR MY AGE. MY OLDER SISTER WAS NORMAL WEIGHT BUT ALWAYS SAID THAT I HAD BREEDER HIPS AND OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS FOR SOME REASON ALWAYS SAID THAT I WAS A BIG GIRL.
WHEN I GRADUATED FROM HIGH SCHOOL I WAS 117 AND FIVE FEET- FIVE INCHES TALL...STILL I GOT THE SAME OLD COMMENTS FROM MY SISTER AND FAMILY THAT I WAS BIG...NOW THAT I'M 42 AND WEIGH 112 POUNDS I STILL LOOK IN THE MIRROR
AND SEE A CHUBBY GIRL WITH BREEDER HIPS...I DON'T WHY MY FAMILY MADE THOSE COMMENTS BUT NOW THAT I AM A GROWN WOMAN AND HAVE HAD THREE CHILDREN I FEEL CHUBBY...PEOPLE HAVE TO THINK BEFORE THEY SAY THINGS TO YOUNG PEOPLE BECAUSE IT STAYS WITH THEM FOR LIFE!...NEEDLESS TO SAY MY OLDER SISTER IS OVER-WEIGHT AND STILL SAYS THAT I AM BIGGER THAN SHE IS...GO FIGURE...
Golly June.... I (and I'm sure the other ladies here who are fat) never knew being overweight was a health issue... nor did it ever occur to me there are many options available to lose weight... what an eyeopening post -- you've just helped me feel soooo much better... thanks a mil!
... but seriously...
Therese, I adore you. Your blog is always right on time. In 2007 I finally came to terms and made peace with my BPD -- and doing much better/stablized than I ever dreamed thanks to things I've learned here combined with spiritual/holistic remedies.
The one area I am still struggling mightly with is body image and weight gain. Although my BPD is managed... I'm fat.... however, I feel victorious this time around because I've learned to be kinder to myself -- even though at times I still get pissed at myself when I gain or binge. The huge difference is I no longer allow the endless barrage of negativity from what I call my internal "Sh*tty Committee." I remind myself this weight is about more than being fat, it's about so much more -- all of which I am working on.
This enables me to walk with my head up high, despite what dumb a** -- but "well meaning" people say to me.
Lori, I feel ya, babe... I truly do... and no, you're not the only one.
Jo, thank you for sharing, your words helped me immensely.
Kathryn, you have a husband who loves you... no matter what your size? Wow -- that in itself is something to celebrate!
. . . and Wendy, even though I couldn't relate to life being hard at 112 pounds, I definitely felt for you still seeing yourself at 42 a chubby girl with breeder hips.
Remain Blessed ladies -- we all have so much to be thankful despite all of this...
I wish my doctor's and mother knew everything that I have learned in the last 40 years about mood and eating disorders. But they didn't, and that's okay. The important thing is that I understand and I can pass on well needed advice and counsel for my 23 year old daughter who just had a baby 10 months ago. Perhaps I can ease the pain of her sleep lose and obession with restoring her pre-pregnant body; come to terms in re-planning her career path and help her accept her transition into motherhood and womanhood. I am relieved that I only had one daughter and 2 sons and that my daughter had a son. However, my sons and grandsons will need to be prepared to deal with changes in their wives. I hope I will be there to guide them. The good news is no woman need suffer alone.
To all of you ladies, I say to excersize and continue to work to your normal weight and try to keep it off. Put yourself first. If you do everybody else will be happy. I have had a weight problem all of my life. I am 59 years old and when I was 16 years old I weighed 180 pounds. I had a miserable childhood and teenage life. My peers called me all the fat names you can think of. My family said things like, I would be pretty if I lost weight. My mother would not let me wear pants or shorts and said that I should be ashamed to show my fat legs to people. My dad would always say that I needed to loose weight. My only sister 12 years older than I (she was always the slender pretty one) told my mother that she was ashamed to be seen with me. Needless to say my self-esteem went to 0 and has stayed that way.I have been at my goal weight or close to it 4 times in my life, not taking long to climb back up.I have always exercized when I was trying to loose weight but didn't keep it up to maintain. When I was 55 years old I developed a nerve disorder called nueropathy. I have to use a cane, walker or motorized chair to ambulate. I wish I could just take off and start walking but that will never be again. I am very close to 300 pounds now and am miserable. I plan to try to get on a weight lose program again and see how I do. It is tough when you can't exercize with it. The only other option left is lap-band surgery if my doctors ok it and I can get my insurance to cover it. If neither of these works I don't know what will happen to me. So ladies get busy and get that weight off while you are healthy as you are. One day I was fine and then the next thing I knew I wasn't.
God Bless you all
Sandra
I don't know if I am supposed to be here or not, but I saw the word depression and wanted to read what was said. Since I am a male, I have other issues about depression. I'm not sure why I'm depresses, or even when it started, but I think it was when my wife developed breast cancer and had to have a double mastectomy(about 7 years ago). By the way, I am 56 and my wife is 54 with a 28 year old son and 26 year old daughter. I shouldn't even say this, but my wife's loss of her breasts was also a huge loss for me, even though I never told her so. MOur children take medication for anxiety and compulsive disorder(mild), and I am wondering if I need to be on medication. I definitely suffer anxiety attacks at various times, but they usually pass. I feel out of control sometimes emotionally(never violent). Any comments or advice would be appreciated.
I forgot an important part in my previous comment. I was always underweight as a juvenile. When I got married I gained some weight which was good. I am 6' 1" tall and weighed around 175 after I was married a few years(good cooking by my wife, and some poor eating choices by me)The last 7 years, I have gained weight to become 230 pounds. I hate the way I look and am always tired. I don't really know how to diet, since it was never a real problem until recently. Any comments or suggestions would be appreciated.
I've always had an overweight problem. I can say from the day I was born---I weighed close to 12 lbs. I also was tall for my age, so I don't look as heavy as I'm really. I ran close to the 300 mark. Between 260 mark & the 295 mark. For some reason I can't below the 260. Because of my medical problems I can't really excerise except for walking which I do when I take my dog out 2 or 3 times a day. I've also cut down on my food intake. Any suggestions would help, I hope.
Post a Comment
By submitting these comments, I agree to the beliefnet.com terms of service, rules of conduct and privacy policy (the "agreements"). I understand and agree that any content I post is licensed to beliefnet.com and may be used by beliefnet.com in accordance with the agreements.