A Call for Prayers

I was a person who could never overcome death. I'd dwell on it and not get passed it, especially one of a child. Ever since September 11, 2001, I come to thank God for the time that I had with a person who has passed on. I am grateful to God that He has blessed me with the moments I shared with someone who has passed on. Wonderful memories built, not even death can steal those memories away. I look and focus on the smiles, the laughter of the person who has passed on, instead of focusing on the whys, the how comes and the awful moment they passed on. The pain might not ever go away, but trust me it does subside, if you allow yourself to make the choice to not live in the pain, but in the beautiful memories of the blessing of knowing that person. Life is very short and precious. Why would we want to live in today in not enjoying what God has given us. Teardrops will fall, yet I must not let my sadness replace the beautiful memories I hold dear.
To Viki, Carol, Suzanne, Louise and all who are in pain, please know that I believe that pray is the most powerful thing we can do today and I will say one this evening to Our Lord Jesus Christ, for healing to start for you all. Grace n Peace, Geraldine S. God Bless,
Go with God

Grieve.You have lost and need to address it with a clear mind and a big hearts. You will also need to recognize what they left you with a precious giftbox filled with memories.

Yes, I have lost a child - my youngest son Dean died 8 years ago at the tender age of 18. Losing him was like losing half of myself. The other half lives in my oldest son David, also grieving the loss of his only brother.

At first, I cried and prayed to die all the time. I just wanted to join my son, the pain of surviving without him was too much to bear. I also suffer with Clinical Depression, which hasn't helped at all with the long and painful grieving process. Many people have said cruel and stupid things to me over my loss. Well intentioned people - I recognise that, but how painful it is for someone to tell you that you need to let your child go, or that your child is in a better place. How can he be in a better place? The best place of all was here, with me and his brother. A sister even confided to me that she was "jealous" of the car I had been able to buy with the death benefit my son's employer paid to me through his insurance. I just stared at her, and she said "I hope you understand that". I said I did, but I have never gotten over those cruel words. I know others who have been told, at least you have other children. I tell ya, you just wanna smack people when they say things like that.

I just want to say that if you hear of someone you know, (or heaven forbid someone close to you) who has lost a child, PLEASE do not judge their behaviour through their painful loss. Just be there to listen and cry with the person if they want that, or to hold their hand and sit silently comforting them, or to do whatever it takes to help that person. You feel dead you know, like you will never feel anything but pain again in your whole agonising life left on this earth!

The best thing you can say is, "I am so sorry for your loss. I cannot begin to understand what you are going through, but I am here for you if and when you need me". And please, do NOT leave it up to the person to visit or call you. They can't. It is just too hard. I had lots of callers and visitors up until the day of my son's funeral. Then most of them deserted me, when it is the time you most need support. There is nothing left to organise you see, nothing to keep your mind off the sad fact that it is real and your baby is gone. You need to just drop in, or call and say that you were just checking on them to make sure they are alright. And don't say, "How are you?" How the heck do you think they are? It doesn't take a genius to know that the bereaved parent is NOT good, not ok, not doing fine and certainly not great.

When all is said and done, there is probably nothing you can do but be there and support the person as much as you can, for as long as you are able. Don't bring up your own experiences and don't tell them you know how they are feeling, unless you really do. I can tell you, even if you have lost as many people as I have in my life, (16 family and friends in the last 18 years), NOTHING is as bad as losing a child.

You can learn to smile again after one of your children dies, but it takes time and it takes a hell of a lot of strength. It is 8 years for me now, but I still have days that I just dissolve into a mess of tears, missing my son so very much. The loss of him is far more profound than I could ever have imagined in my life before his death. It changed me forever. I am far less capable and far less outgoing than I was before. The fact is, their death changes us and we never go back to what we were. We learn to live with the pain and the new life we now have to live.

Thanks to Sasha, Kathy and others for your kind words. They are appreciated. I truly hope this does not sound angry and blaming. It is very hard to tell people how to help bereaved parents or siblings etc, but the best way is to be there for them, whenever you can.
Angel Blessings to all, bereaved parents, families and all others. Love your kids, they are on loan only and nobody knows when one of us will leave the planet.
(\o/) (\o/) (\o/) Love, lilfaery

My heart and prayers go out to you all....I recently lost my sister to cancer in july 2006 then Feb 2007 I lost my son to a drug overdose he was 23 and my heart is breaking, I want to go be with him and i dont want to live anymore..is this normal to be feeling this way at 17 months? someone let me know you can write me at Foxybrat46@aol.com please someone help me I am reaching out
Sandy