Beyond Blue

The Good News and Bad News About Being Highly Sensitive

Thursday June 7, 2007

Categories: Anxiety
Here's another excerpt from Aron's book, which helps to lay out the pros and cons of a being a person who should stay away from Disney World and Toys-R-Us (as usual my comments are in brackets...I rarely can keep my mouth shut anymore when offering an excerpt):

The Pros

What this difference in arousability [remember, we're not talking sex--in that category I'm looking for things to fire me up, not calm me down] means is that you notice levels of stimulation that go unobserved by others. This is true whether we are talking about subtle sounds, sights, or physical sensations like pain. It is not that your hearing, vision, or other senses are more acute (plenty of HSPs wear glasses). The difference seems to lie somewhere on the way to the brain or in the brain, in a more careful processing of information. We reflect more on everything. And we sort things into finer distinctions [like analyzing where, exactly, whistling Elmo was made, and where he will end up once his batteries run out]. Like those machines that grade fruit by size--we sort into ten sizes while others sort into two or three.

This greater awareness of the subtle tends to make you more intuitive [don't you love it when people tell you that?...you're so intuitive....], which simply means picking up and working through information in a semiconscious or unconscious way. The result is that you often "just know" without realizing how. Furthermore, this deeper processing of subtle details causes you to consider the past or future more. You "just know" how things got to be the way they are or how they are going to turn out. This is that "sixth sense" people talk about. It can be wrong, of course, just as your eyes and ears can be wrong, but your intuition is right often enough that HSPs tend to be visionaries, high intuitive artists, or inventors, as well as more conscientious, cautious, and wise people [the same reason that cheating in school gave me stomach and head aches, whereas my sister could do it pretty naturally].

The Cons

The downside of the trait shows up at more intense levels of stimulation [like at Disney World or Toys-R-Us]. What is moderately arousing for most people is highly arousing for HSPs. What is highly arousing for most people [Chuck E. Cheese] causes an HSP to become very frazzled indeed [running to the restroom to have a panic attack], until they reach a shutdown point called "transmarginal inhibition" [lecturing a spouse about the crisis of consumerisim, global warming, and landfills in aisle five of Toys-R-Us]. Transmarginal inhibition was first discussed around the turn of the century by the Russian physiologist Ivan Pavlov, who was convinced that the most basic inherited difference among people was how soon they reach this shutdown point and that the quick-to-shut-down have a fundamentally different type of nervous system.

The Package Deal

No one likes being overaroused [nonsexually], HSP or not. A person feels out of control, and the whole body warns that it is in trouble. Overarousal often means failing to perform at one's best. Of course, it can also mean danger. An extra dread of overarousal may even be built into all of us. Since a newborn cannot run or fight or even recognize danger, it is best if it howls at anything new, anything arousing at all, so that grown-ups can come and rescue it.

Like the fire department, we HSPs mostly respond to false alarms. But if our sensitivity saves a life even once, it is a trait that has a genetic payoff. So, yes, when our trait leads to overarousal, it is a nuisance. But it is part of a package deal with many advantages.
Comments
Becky
June 12, 2007 11:28 PM

One more HSP question... Is anyone else hyper sensitive to tastes? I find everything is highly seasoned when others say it's not. Most everything seems too spicy hot for me. Thoughts or suggestions? Becky

Carrie
June 13, 2007 5:02 PM

This is fascinating. This is one of those puzzle pieces that you suddenly find and feel like things make so much more sense.I have always felt a lot of shame for being highly sensitive, like there was just something wrong wiht ME. It is nice to know that it is just part of my physical makeup and that maybe just knowing how to work with it will make for an easier life.

I have fibromyalgia (although not too bad). I ALWAYS feel at least a little achy and am perpetually fatigued at least a litte. I just thought everyone was like that. I am very sensitive to pain, I can't stand loud noises, I wake very easily at night and rarely ever wake up rested. I also have the princess and the pea syndrome and can't ever sleep anywhere except a soft bed with a soft blanket & soft pillow.

I tire easily, I get overwhelmed easily. I am extremely sensitive to others moods and have always been an empath. I am also extremely good at knowing how to make others comfortable. I am very intuitive and have had many premonitions that came true. I have always needed a certain amount of solitude and felt guilty about it or that something was wrong with me. I have a tendency towards fear of leaving my house (can't think of the term - I have brain fog, too), so I make sure I don't stay home all day more than one day at a time.

I have always suffered from low energy and felt something was wrong with me. Intense conversations and stress just exhaust me. I seem to absorb stress. I also way overthink certain things, my mind doesn't stop. This is why I walk around fatigued most of my life. I have also been depressed many times and suffered from severe anxiety for a time.

One good aspect is that I cook intuitively. I am sure that this is a side effect of HS. I can make sauces & mix spices (and drinks) without measuring and come up with my own successful concoctions with just thinking about them and by smelling.

I am on a break from life right now, which might as well be disability except that I'm getting unemployment insurance (thank goodness). I realize just how important this break is to me and I understand now, more than ever how and why I really need it. I was working an extremely stressful, demanding office job that completely burned me out. In December my mother died unexpectedly. The combination was too much and I became overwhelmed, depressed and had physical symptoms of it.

I am just working on becoming a whole person and I am making a lot of progress. I rest, I exercise, I try to eat as healthily as possible, I read inspirational and self help books every day. I see a therapist, I do affirmations, I try to get out to nature whenever I begin to feel down. I also love clear water and I will make sure to find that as well. I started taking SAM-E, which has been very helpful to me so far. I try to create fun whenever I need it.

It's hard to explain my entire life here, but I just wanted to share a little bit of it. I wish all of you the best.

corey
June 17, 2007 8:52 AM

I am commenting not only because everything so accurately describes me- and my sisters, and their children- but also because one of the posting people, Nancy, lives in my area, I think, so maybe be could support each other. She referenced Chesapeake, and I live in Virginia Beach which is 5 minutes away.

I thought it important to bring up the importance of how to recognize and set boundaries in trying to keep HSP more of an advantage than not. I suggest everyone find some source on the subject and learn it and practice it because it saved my sanity. This knowledge- if applied, is more precious than gold. It is kissing cousins to assertiveness concepts and skills. Using this, in combination with whatever spirituality you can muster, is a winning combination for peace and joy.

mary
June 17, 2007 9:46 PM

I'm an HSP and you're right on target. I don't feel so well.

Liz
July 3, 2007 5:44 PM

Thank you all for your thoughtful notes here. I realized I was HSP about two years ago following a stressful series of events and having recently gone through another series, came back to the web looking for insights. Take care of yourselves everyone. Much peace, do not isolate yourselves but stay away from the haters. I put up pictures of whales in my work space and played nature music (birds and waterfalls) for two days before gaining my balance again. Take care, much peace.

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