Many Roads to Recovery

I, too, found difficulties with the AA Program. I have been sober almost 11 years now. I did not attend meetings long-term as so many do. I did do the 60 meetings in 60 days, or 30 in 30; I forget now. It has been so long. I think I attended meetings religiously for the first 6 to 9 months. It may have been longer. The one thing that helped me a lot was the fact that I recognized my problem and wasn't in denial. I was lucky. I am sure others recognize their problem and yet have more difficulty. I wish I could be as successful with quitting smoking. Still working on that. We are all so different as you say.

I remember being really fearful of the holiday season that first year. I was only 3 months sober and so much of the season is tied into toasting and cocktail parties. I was on hyper vigilance that first year. And, yes, to this day I avoid some alcohol related gatherings. Not family celebrations or gatherings but hanging out with those having a few drinks. It may be limiting my life, my socialization but that is what I've chosen to do to stay safe.

The biggest problem I had with AA, however, was the inflexibility of the sponsors I had. The problem wasn't with the program. They just weren't willing or didn't know how to adapt the methods to the individual. That was a major frustration for me. I was a single parent, working full time and going to meetings. My job was highly stressful. When I came home my time was my child's until bedtime. I was not a phone person. Checking in every day or running every decision, plan and thought by someone wasn't either. I was chastised for taking a weekend away with my child without running it by my sponsor. I was criticized for sharing something in a meeting that I had not confided in my sponsor. It made me feel like a recalcitrant child... a child again who could do nothing right. Another sponsor's own issues kept intruding. I didn't have the energy for that at the time. I had enough issues of my own. So I ended up doing the program solo as I have so much of life. I am sure it would've been more congenial to travel with a mentor and friend but that was not to be for me. And, that's okay. I am sure they were just as frustrated with me as I was with them. They tried the best they knew how and for that I thank them.

Another big frustration was the claims by so many members that once they stopped drinking their lives became better, happier and more peaceful. It seemed to be a required part of their testimonies. I did not experience that euphoria. My life was unraveling. Finally, a dear soul confided in me it wasn't so much that their lives improved as their attitude, their way of dealing and coping with life. Now that I could wrap my mind around. Anyway, I know now that AA was just the first step in my Recovery process. I had to adapt it to myself and my needs,to the consternation of a lot of people. Oh well, such is life.

The one thing I did discover is that so many alcoholics have such wounds and anguish buried deep inside of them. Like me, they were using alcohol to salve their pain and heartache. It was a novocain. I have come a long way in the past 11 years and hope someday I redis- cover joy in my life. I miss it.

I am 51 years old and have been smoking pot since I was 16. At first it was occasionally; for the past 20 years it has almost been daily. I have tried quitting. I went to rehab. I attended meetings. AA doesn't work for me. I found no one I could trust. No one would be my sponsor. I'm sure the issues were more mine than theirs. If I ask someone for something and they say no, I withdraw and internalize, and "konw" I can only count on myself, and quit trying to reach out.

I recently had a major depressive episode and am working my way back from that. I went on medical leave and since then they have decided not to allow me to return. I have had no money coming in for 7 months now, and don't feel I can go back to work anywhere at this time.

Eight weeks ago there were several drug busts in town and it has been dry since then. Or at least I think it is. I ran out a week later. I made one call, was told nothing was for sale, and I have been sober ever since. During that time I made 2 other attempts early on, and nothing came of those either. I have not had the desire to try anyone else. For some reason the obsession is gone. I know it may come back, but I can't help feeling God was behind all of this. He knew it was time. I knew it was time. I was just tired of not living my life. I was tired of wasting my money. I was tired of being in a fog. I was tired of a lot of things.

I can't and won't go to AA or NA. I have to do this on my own, with God. Years ago I was addicted to amphetamines - one day I just stopped. Then I became addicted to LSD - one day I just stopped. Has my day to stop smoking pot for good finally arrived? I can only hope and pray it has, and I am strong enough not to fall back into that hole, where I end up self-medicating, and that causes my depression to deepen, so I smoke more, and become more depressed, etc.

If there was ever a time I felt I needed pot, it would be now, what with all I am going through. Suddenly it just isn't a possibility to me. I would rather be clear headed and feel the depression and everything that goes with it, than live in a fog.

Pray for me. Hugs to all!

I am a recovering alcoholic. I am in a 12 step program. The key word there being "A" program, not "THE" program. Thanks to my program, I dont feel the need to be critical of anyones method of recovery. I feel its wonderful that AA is there if you want it, and its there if you dont.

I too have had the AA experience and found other people's view interesting. My own experience is after 3 plus years of sobriety is that AA was, and still is priceless to me. I was committed by a frustrated husband that was bitter about pending divorce papers and my out of control behavior. When they talk about a higher power, it can be a little overwhelming for some to be so spiritual - but I tend to make things very simple and know that something bigger than me was there to hang on to and the people and experiences I had were all part of some great big picture for me. I had treatment, sometimes 3 meetings a day, 2 angry teenage sons and a husband that wouldn't talk to me. I did a lot of blaming and being angry myself, but all those little bits of wisdom from others and the things we shared in common helped day by day to move me to a place in my life that I can tell you is full of joy every minute even when life is full of absolutely incredible struggles.

I don't feel the need to advertise alcoholism but I know that drinking represents a whole other life that was the ultimate misery for me, and it has taken lots of changing everything about myself to get me to this place. The people I have met in AA just share a bond of finding a new way to live their life. It gives a guideline to follow much like basic religions but there is no judging in your beliefs and that is the key for me. Everyone that is serious and truly heads in a different joyful and powerful way has some sort of deep spiritual sense about them.

Sponsoring to me is just someone being there to walk you through the basic things that help you get your life on the right path. Drinking was a way to be powerless and be in misery, finding God or a Higher Power to believe in, something to have faith in so you can trust that everything is going to be alright. Figure out what you haven't dealt with in your life that is holding you back and share it with someone so it isn't so scary anymore and you can let it go. Realize you have the power to be who you were meant to be in this world. We are all part of one big world and everyone has something wonderful to offer. That is one of the reasons I love helping others overcome their addictions. Many people have been there for me and now I can share some comfort and wisdom, too. There are many ways to gain this in your life, but AA offers a support group and structure that has been in place a long time and for many it's a good life foundation that works if you let it.

I FEEL SORRY FOR SOMEONE WHO SPENT 15 YEARS IN AA AND STILL DRINKS.
FOR ME AA HAS SAVED MANY OF MY FAMILY INCUDING MY HUSBAND AND MYSELF.
IT DOES SAY THERE ARE THOSE UNFORTUNATES WHO SEEM TO BE UNABLE TO GRASP THE SIMPLE PROGRAM ETC... I MYSELF DON'T DO EVERYTHING THEY TELL ME TO DO. IT'S MUCH TO MUCH WITH YOUNG CHILDREN. I ALSO BELIEVE PEOPLE USE AA AS A CRUTCH AND GET ADDICTED TO AA IT BECOMES THIER
WHOLE LIFE.

I LIVE THE SPIRTUALITY PART, YES IT'S GOD TO ME, MY FAITH
IS SOMETIMES ALL I HAVE, I TOO STRUGGLE WITH BI-POLAR. LIFE
IS A WHOLE DIFFERENT BALLGAME FOR PEOPLE WHO DEAL WITH DEPRESSION.
AT TIMES JUST SHOWERING IS DIFFICULT FOR ME,
GETTING UP JUST WALKING TO
ANOTHER ROOM IS A CHORE. EVEN DOING THIS IS I HARD HA HA!!! OBVIOUSLY

1

ENJOY YOUR LIFE WHATEVER YOU BELIEVE THE JOY IS IN THE JOURNEY. I HAVE TWO BEAUTIFUL KIDS A GOOD HUSBAND NICE HOME. WHEN I'M
WELL. I ENJOY IT EVEN MY DARKEST TIMES I LOOK FOR THE GRATITUDE OF
WHAT I DO HAVE. YES I HAVE BI-POLAR I MADE A MISTAKE EARLIER SAYING
I AM BI-POLAR. IT DOESNT DEFINE ME. I AFTER YEARS OF SOBRIETY AM
ONLY ON 66 DAYS RIGHT NOW. THAT'S OK TOO. I HAVE MANY GIFTS, SO I
GUESS MY POINT IS ENJOY LIFE MAKE THE BEST OF IT. DON'T SIT AROUND
FOCUSING ON EVERY THING THAT'S WRONG IN YOUR LIFE. IT'S TO SHORT.
GO WATCH SOME KIDS PLAYING IN THE PARK GO FOR A WALK SMILE AT PEOPLE
WHATEVER YOU ENJOY JUST DO IT. I MYSELF THANK GOD FOR ALL THE MIRACLES IN MY LIFE.

FROM,
ONE MEETING A WEEK

I liked all the articles, I really related to the woman's article about chronic pot smoking. I haven't had alcohol or cocaine for over
4 years, I have succumbed to marijuana use. It's everywhere and legal
in Northern California. I don't get arrested or fired from jobs,
I attribute this form AA.

Keep going to meetings, recovery starts in the rooms, take it leave it.

God Bless

Hey Ya'll,
I use everything I can to stay sober. I certainly did use all available resources when trying to stay high. I have been clean and sober since October 1984. It is very nice to remember the last 22 years of my life. My grankids have never seen me messed up. I have lasting relationships with people on a spiritual path and many who think they are. Who am I to judge. Drugs and alcohol are not allowed in my home. If I go out I am the one that can leave if I am uncomfortable. I did not do this alone. Many friends, family and yes sponsers. I have outlived three. I sponser others, some times it works and sometimes it doesn't. Happy Fathers day to all. I think I am trying to say to each his own and whatever works. I am happy joyous and free most days. I still have life problems but there is nothing in my life that a drink would make better. AA worked for me and millions of others. By the grace of God I am free of most of my addictions. I am still working of tv and overeating but if I wasn't sober I probably wouldn't even be aware of the "soft addictions"
Everyday I pray to stay clean just for today. I also meditate to listen. Life is good. Serenity & Simplicity to all. Debbie just this side of paradise, by the Silver creek in Oregon.

Giving myself completely to the simple program of AA was the only thing that worked for me after 35 years of alcohol addiction. Key factors for me are continuous trust in God ,attending meetings daily, and love for myself and people regardless of hurts, habits, and hangups.

I CAN UNDERSTAND YOUR DIFFICULTY IN QUITING THE DRINKING ROUTINE. I HAVE A DRINK WHEN I FEEL THAT A DRINK WILL DO THE TRICK...WHATEVER THAT IS. THE ONE SUGESTION THAT I RECOMMEND IS:

1. IN ORDER TO QUIT A HABIT, YOU MUST REPLACE THAT HABIT WITH ONE THAT IS CONSIDERED A GOOD HABIT.

2. THIS CANNOT BE ANY OLD HABIT...IT MUST BE ONE THAT YOU CAN HAVE EASY ACCESS TO.

3. ONE THAT YOU FEEL THAT YOU CAN ENJOY.

4. TREAT THE OLD HABIT AS IF IS "LIFE THREATING>" IT IS.

5, THIS TAKES A LOT OF WILL POWER AND TRUST IN GOD THAT HE WILL
DELIVER YOU.

6. WHEN YOU DECIDE TO PUT YOUR TRUST IN "GOD" IT MUST BE COMPLETE TRUST...NOT PART TRUST BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT QUITE SURE THAT HE WILL DELIVER YOU...HE WILL! THE KEY TO THIS WHOLE THEORY IS PRAYER. GOD WILL DELIVER YOU NOW! YOU MUST BELIEVE THAT HE WILL DELIVER ON HIS PROMISE. ALL OF THESE OTHER SUGGESTIONS AS GOOD AS THEY ARE. TRY THIS ONE AND LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK!