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I absolutely love “The Mr. and Mrs. Happy Handbook” by co-host of “Fox and Friends” Steve Doocy and his wife.
Here are a few universal truths he says about in-laws:
1. You were not their first choice to be their child’s spouse.
2. They would like you to listen to their advice once in awhile.
3. Odds are, they will die before you, and if you keep in mind there is a large estate waiting for some of you one day, you’ll realize it doesn’t pay to fight with them, so shut up and smile.
He goes on to give this advice:
You must find a way to get along. Otherwise you are doomed to a lifetime of popping Tums.
The in-law conundrum is one you will struggle with your entire married life. When you got hitched, you knew you’d be adopting your spouse’s family, you just didn’t realize they were the Addams Family.
And here is Mrs. Happy’s advice:
In-laws are great. At a distance. Mine have always been approximately three thousand miles away. If they ever try to sneak across the country to visit, thanks to friends at NORAD, as soon as they cross the Mississippi a red light flashes on my desk and we quickly pack up and head to the Poconos.
You, however, may live within shouting distance of your in-laws. I know people who live in the same town, some on the same street, some in the same house. There is a special place in heaven waiting for all of them.
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Therese J. Borchard writes the daily blog, Beyond Blue, on Beliefnet and is a regular contributor to the award-winning blog, World of Psychology, on Psych Central. Therese is the author of Beyond Blue: Surviving Depression & Anxiety and Making the Most of Bad Genes and The Pocket Therapist: An Emotional Survival Kit. Subscribe to Beyond Blue, visit her website, or follow her on Twitter @thereseborchard.
Meet others on the journey in
Therese’s community group
Ask Therese to be your friend
Therese J. Borchard writes the daily blog, Beyond Blue, on Beliefnet and is a regular contributor to the award-winning blog, World of Psychology, on Psych Central. Therese is the author of Beyond Blue: Surviving Depression & Anxiety and Making the Most of Bad Genes and The Pocket Therapist: An Emotional Survival Kit. Subscribe to Beyond Blue, visit her website, or follow her on Twitter @thereseborchard.
posted June 28, 2007 at 6:44 pm
I have my own weird situation with my in-laws. I love my husband more than anything. He is my absolute best friend in the world, we laugh at the same things, cry for the same reasons. The problem is that we don’t fit at all into each other’s families. My parents are gone but I have grown children from a previous marriage. His parents are alive and live in town, but he has no children. Neither of us connects at all with the other’s world outside of our home.
His parents look at me like some kind of alien, which I kind of am to their world. My family is happy and loud. We like to tell jokes and sing and dance around the house. My children look at my husband and his conservative family as a very stodgy stand-offish people. We come together for family events – birthdays, holidays, etc. But I don’t think any of us are having as much fun as we would in our separate corners. But we keep trying to connect, to feel at ease, to relate. Sometimes I think that some bridges just can’t span the breach. I love my husband and therefore love his family as he does mine. We just don’t fit.
posted June 29, 2007 at 1:02 pm
Jen, I just read your article. I’d say, the next time you decide to have a family gathering and have your husband’s family over, just grab them by the hand and make them dance with you!
lots of love!