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In her book “The Highly Sensitive Person,” Elaine Aron talks about how highly-sensitive persons often have difficulties with boundaries (phew! I thought it was just me).
“Many HSPs [highly sensitive persons] tell me that a major problem for them is poor boundaries,” she writes, “getting involved in situations that are not really their business or their problem, letting too many people distress them, saying more than they wanted, getting mired in other people’s messes, becoming too intimate too fast or with the wrong people.”
One solution she offers HSPs when they become overwhelmed or cross a boundary is to retreat to, or remember, their “safe containers”: like a spiritual exercise (for me that’s meditation while I run, bike, or swim), or a mental practice (such as journaling), or creative thinking (expressing the frustration by writing a blog post about it!), or a faith ritual (lighting a votive candle at mass for the friend you can’t be a friend to), and so on.
“There are so many accounts of people who maintained their sanity by retreating into such containers while under extreme stress or danger,” Aron writes.
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posted 6:06:40am Feb. 06, 2012 | read full post » |
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Therese J. Borchard writes the daily blog, Beyond Blue, on Beliefnet and is a regular contributor to the award-winning blog, World of Psychology, on Psych Central. Therese is the author of Beyond Blue: Surviving Depression & Anxiety and Making the Most of Bad Genes and The Pocket Therapist: An Emotional Survival Kit. Subscribe to Beyond Blue, visit her website, or follow her on Twitter @thereseborchard.
Meet others on the journey in
Therese’s community group
Ask Therese to be your friend
Therese J. Borchard writes the daily blog, Beyond Blue, on Beliefnet and is a regular contributor to the award-winning blog, World of Psychology, on Psych Central. Therese is the author of Beyond Blue: Surviving Depression & Anxiety and Making the Most of Bad Genes and The Pocket Therapist: An Emotional Survival Kit. Subscribe to Beyond Blue, visit her website, or follow her on Twitter @thereseborchard.
posted June 17, 2007 at 10:05 am
I can’t believe I just wrote a comment to this effect on another related posting! Affirm-confirm ation is good. I just stumbled onto this board today, but I am so impressed by the subject of HSP and depression, that I am thinking of incorporating it into a program I am developing for victims of human trafficking, better known as the contemporary slave trade. This is trauma treatment for women coming out of the sex slave trade and has, of course, a depression piece that the Aron book could very well undergird. So, this comment directs itself to Therese (maybe Babs, too, as it sounds like she is in healthcare): Any input; any desire to contribute professionally to this project; are you in my area (I am in Virginia Beach, but may relocate to DC depending on career variables- like getting one!)
posted June 17, 2007 at 11:23 pm
Love these free-wheeling “containers,” B.B. Isn’t it funny how some people have to learn to open up boundaries to hear, i.e., empathize, then there are others who have to shut the noise out to stay healthy.
posted June 18, 2007 at 3:16 am
Wow, there are books about people like me? Thank God.
posted June 18, 2007 at 7:15 pm
Yay, finally, there’s something that I can relate to, I am a highly sensitive person and everything in her book I thought was written by me as it’s all me! Wow, the penny has dropped and I can work towards a happier self now.
posted June 19, 2007 at 7:25 am
This really set off some bells and whistles!! I can relate to most everything that she has written. Now if we can just educate the rest of the world to recognize the HSP’s in their lives. THIS IS A VERY ENLIGHTENING READ!
posted August 2, 2007 at 1:02 am
in loving memory of my grandson tyler matthew clark.born feb.12,89 and passed october 8,2006.he was a loving teenager.all he planned to do was give his friends a ride home from work..and later grab a MCDONALS SNACK.HE PASSED AWAY A BLOCK FROM WHERE THEY WENT ALOT.GOD NEEDED A ANGEL,,I BELIEVE HIS FAMILY,AND FRIENDS ARE STILL IN SHOCK.THE PAIN AT TIMES IS SO RAW..AND WHEN I WATCH MY SON AND FAMILY CRY OVER HIS BODY AT THE WRECK I KNEW GOD WATCHED ME AND KNEW THAT TOOK ALL MY STRENGTH TO BE THER EFOR THEM..THIS WORLD HOLDS MANY SAD EVENTS,AND MANY YEARS FAMILIES SUFFER.AND THE WE BOUNCE BACK AND LAUGH OVER A JOKE.AND CUDDLE A NEW BABY..WE CELEBRATE CHRISTMAS BECAUSE WE LOVE JESUS CHRIST HE WAS BORN IN A MANAGER AND DIED FOR ALL OF OUR SINS.I BELIEVE WE ALL MUST KNOW THE LORD..SERVE HIM ON EARTH..I PRAY FOR ALL MY FAMILY..THOSE SAVED AND THOSE WHO DO NOT UNDERSTAND CHRISTAIN LIFE,,DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY I LOVE THE LORD..IT IS THE WAY MY GRANDMOTHER LOVED ME AND TAUGHT ME TO BELIEVE THIS IS ONLY A JOURNEY AND THE WAY WE TREAT PEOPLE AND LEARBN TO BE GOOD PEOPLE.PREPARES OUR SOULD TO RISE UP WHEN WE DIE AND RETURN TO HEAVEN.TYLER WILL MEET ME AT THE GOLDEN GATES,,AND I WILL MEET YOU WHEN YOUR NAME IS READ YOUR ON YOUR WAY,,NO ONE COMES TO HEAVEN ALONE,THE ANGELS COME ON EARTH AND GUIDE YOU SAFELY TO THE LIGHT.BELIEVE IN MIRACLES,,AND LOOK WITH IN YOUR SOUL.YOU WILL FEEL GODS LOVE,ALWAYS KAY