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Four attractive young moms (what SOME men might call “yummy mummies”) are sipping on margaritas at a Mexican bar enjoying Happy Hour.
“I’m telling you, I hate it!” one says.
“I can tolerate it if I’m not tired,” says another.
“I force myself to do it for him,” adds one more.
“Not me. I’ve got to want something bad if I’m going to do that.”
Quick quiz–Are they talking about:
1) Eating raw carrots without ranch dressing,
2) Scrubbing down public toilets,
3) Chaperoning a camping trip with 30 Girl Scouts,
4) Going on a one-week cruise with their in-laws,
5) Or having sex with their husbands?
Answer: 5
It seems that I’m not alone in being libido-less after eavesdropping on that conversation. The sex fairy (actually a demon who steals the sex drives of married women) has been quite busy in her quest to neuter this country. A recent survey by Harris International showed that 52 percent of Americans 16 and older (as a mother of a darling girl who loves adventure and pleasure–I won’t elaborate–I’d like to hear that age be, say, 30, or maybe 40) are not fully satisfied with their sex lives.
And check this out: Americans may be obsessed with sex (spend an hour watching TV), but have way less sex than foreigners. According to Durex (a manufacturer of condoms), the global average was 103 boinks a year, compared to the 85 times a year Americans get horizontal. Greeks have the most sex (a whopping 164 times a year, which is close to every other day–then again, I might be charged up if I woke up to the view of the Mediterranean Sea every morning–followed by the Brazilians (145 times, or every 2.5 days). The only people who get freaky less than Americans are the Japanese, Nigerians, and those persons living in Hong Kong.
Washington Post staff writer Laura Sessions Stepp tracks all the surveys in her recent article “How’s You Love Life?” (For the full article click here.)
Among the findings:
• Men around the world are more satisfied than women. Women 40 and older are less satisfied across all socioeconomic groups (the sex fairy doesn’t visit men in their sleep).
• The stronger the emotional connection, the better the sex. A University of Chicago professor, Edward Laumann, says that more women reported organisms if their husbands (or male partners) were “considerate and affectionate” in daily life, and if helps if both partners try to please each other, both in and out of bed.
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Previous Posts
How Do You Heal Loneliness?
posted 6:33:10am Feb. 16, 2012 | read full post »
Rewire Your Brain For Love: An Interview with Marsha Lucas, Ph.D.
posted 6:00:56am Feb. 14, 2012 | read full post »
Love Deeply ...
posted 6:00:28am Feb. 13, 2012 | read full post »
Therapy Thursday: Sweat
posted 6:01:57am Feb. 09, 2012 | read full post »
Scrupulosity: What It Is and Why It's Dangerous
posted 6:17:35am Feb. 07, 2012 | read full post » |
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Therese J. Borchard writes the daily blog, Beyond Blue, on Beliefnet and is a regular contributor to the award-winning blog, World of Psychology, on Psych Central. Therese is the author of Beyond Blue: Surviving Depression & Anxiety and Making the Most of Bad Genes and The Pocket Therapist: An Emotional Survival Kit. Subscribe to Beyond Blue, visit her website, or follow her on Twitter @thereseborchard.
Meet others on the journey in
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Therese J. Borchard writes the daily blog, Beyond Blue, on Beliefnet and is a regular contributor to the award-winning blog, World of Psychology, on Psych Central. Therese is the author of Beyond Blue: Surviving Depression & Anxiety and Making the Most of Bad Genes and The Pocket Therapist: An Emotional Survival Kit. Subscribe to Beyond Blue, visit her website, or follow her on Twitter @thereseborchard.
posted July 6, 2007 at 5:32 pm
Can’t say I know many women reporting ‘organisms’ but the thought made me smile.
posted July 7, 2007 at 6:22 pm
I think that some of them are now wired with “orgasm reporters” for insurance reasons.
posted July 9, 2007 at 8:40 am
Women are so exhausted, physically and emotionally, that sex just doesn’t seem worth the effort sometimes. Sleep is almost always more attractive! But almost 100% of the time, if you do make time for it – it’s the best stress relief around!!! And, by the way, I only make time for it a few times a month – not enough according to my husband!
posted July 9, 2007 at 7:56 pm
My partner and I of 4 years still cannot get enough of one another. Twice a day if we can but then we do have times when we cannot be together. At those times we talk on the phone everyday about everything. Believe me, we have our share of disagreements but never even consider that it is a reason to stop expressing our love sexually. Is there something wrong with us?
We do have a deep emotional connection. I’m still crazy about him even though he can be a very difficult personality to live with.
posted July 12, 2007 at 4:37 am
I ned a girl
posted July 12, 2007 at 11:23 am
I’m confused, I became a widow in mid thirtys. I have tried so hard to make life better for my childern and to have them see mom can move on and I’m ok so they can be ok…and for the most part I’m a heathly, sexual, loving woman and I have a man that I have met that I care for deeply…… we both have a boat load of problems but we seem to enjoy ourselves in spight of our extremely difficult lives. Between us we have 6 kids so yes joke about the Brady Bunch! My major problem is that he is not very sexual with me, Yes when we do do it, its great awsome and I hold out for the those times…he’s not very touchy feely which I understand my first husband was that way, you know the line ( I’m just not the romantic type, which now they both have said this to me) but my first husband was a tiger in the bedroom but also extremely addicted to enternet porn. But now this new man (which i love the fact he isn’t big into porn in any way) but sex isn’t often and it doesn’t last very long for the most part. So I’m feeling wierd like hey I’m 40 I’m in my prime and I’m torn, I want more sex and he’s ok with not so much sex! What the heck do I do with that??????????????????
posted July 13, 2007 at 8:46 am
I think if a man loves a woman enough he will take the time to give her the most pleasure he can.To me a woman deserves all a man can give her in pleasing and pleasure both in and out of bed.
posted July 17, 2007 at 1:41 am
At the young age of 43 years old, menopause began for I needed to have a hysterectomy. There was a bit of cancer to take care of.
I can go without sex for MONTHS—- My doc. said that I could use some estrogen cream which may increase interest (vaginal area) but I am a bit nervous, wondering if it is safe enough. One bout with cancer is quite enough, thank you.
Women any suggestions on how to become interested sexually again. One of my silly male docs. said to have some wine…..
posted August 15, 2007 at 10:29 am
YOUR DR. MAY BE RIGHT ABOUT THE WINE, NOT ONLY IS IT GOOD FOR US IT MAY RELAX YOU AND ENABLE YOU TO BECOME A LTTLE MORE AROUSED THAN YOU THINK. I AM A WINE DRINKER AND IT CAN PROMOTE A VERY LOVING WARM FEELING THAT YOU MAY BE HAPPY TO DIFULGE IN. AS FOR HYST., ME TOO SO I KNOW HOW THAT CAN BE, BUT DON’T WORRY EVERYTHING WILL FALL INTO PLACE. LOOK AT IT THIS WAY IF YOUR BODY DIDN’T NEED IT THEN IT WAS ONLY HURTING YOU TO KEEP IT, SO IT WOULD STAND TO REASON THINGS CAN ONLY GET BETTER NOW THAT THE BATTLE OF CANCER IS BEHIND YOU.
posted August 24, 2007 at 1:29 pm
I am 45, have 3 children, was married for 26 years to a very “wham bam, thank you Mam”.
Now I have been with a young man for almost 3 years who is 17 years my junior and who is extremely passionate and “driven” in bed and very respectful in public.
Problem is, I worry constantly that I am not passionate enough for him and he won’t love me in 5, 10 years. I don’t want to end up feeling old and useless or being a burden.I don’t know how to get over this, and I feel like sometimes I push him away because of the “somedays”.