reading everyone needs therapy is really interesting…sort of overwhelming -i ma up to almost 2 am reading her blog…I think they will say if you spend 24 of your life waiting in line, you will spend who knows how long reading other peoples blogs …….and I call my debbie a blogaolic.

This is interesting, Dick and I have a friend or crony we call Little Peter, he is obnoxious. So I told Dick, lets stay away from LP, so he can be miserable by himself, thanks Ted

Depression: I was ababndoned as a child, teenager, young adult and older adult. Severeal times I was hospitalized for depression, SI, anxiety. I came very close to death on a medication. Now in my late fifties I still stand alone with masked poor self-esteem, depression,
and struggle to keep alive.
I over-came multiple obstacles,had to prove my intellegence to schools.
I graduated from HS,was in the Navy in a very good job, entered religious life (fifteen yrs), taught many yrs, worked as a suceesful psychotherpist for 18 yrs. came down with a very rare incurable desease
no contact with any members of my family(all deseased now except my older brother who has not chosen to engage with me for over 25 yrs.
I lost eveything material due to medical debts, chemo, meds, etc. and and now retired early due to my rare desease and complications. I too had been told I am so giving, patient, selfless, visionary, gentle, calm, insightful, always helping others, putting others before me.
I have been told several times I should write a book to help others, let others know if “I can do it, so can you.” But, I always lose my trust in myself, become too self conscious and don’t believe I am worth it. I want to go away. I struggle this more of my life than not.
I supposedly have PTSD due to my family abandonement and my horrible religious living experiences of not being worth much and feeling like I should not be here, there. I have been so hurt by people I cared about and feel no one truely by ation ever did or does care about me. I feel like such a fake when people see me as a successful educator, clinician and christian woman.
There was a prediction when I was younger that stastically I should be dead, in prision, and or a homeless street person with no identity.
Depression I was always told “it can only get better now, you will learn through these difficult times and be able to understand and help others.But inside I still feel so alone, so sad, so inprisoned with guilt that I haven’t had the courage to die or to live.