Advertisement
I was sorry to see Beliefnet’s other woman blog, “Chattering Mind,” come to an end because 1) I learned much of my blogging techniques and tricks from Amy Cunningham (when Beliefnet launched Beyond Blue, my very smart editor told me to study “Chattering Mind” as my model), and 2) “Chattering Mind” provided the peaceful take on life that balanced out my sometimes-chaotic and- frenzied posts.
So I called up Amy, and said this: “Shoot, you’re going away. How can Beyond Blue embrace the calmness that you sent out to cyberspace?”
During our conversation I asked her, flat out: “Do you transcend?” (which I felt embarassed asking, as if I was asking her if/how often she orgasmed).
She laughed. “No.”
And then she said something that was beyond comforting for a person like me with an attention span of an ADHD seven-year-old who forgot to take his Ritalin:
“Meditation is a practice, so anyone sitting down to do it should not expect much and certainly not assume it will make them happier. In fact, meditation teachers say that if you expect too much from meditation, meditation will quickly cause you to become disillusioned and quite unhappy.”
As I implied above, my problem is that I approach meditation like it’s sex and because I never orgasm (or transcend) I assume I’m doing it wrong.
“All you have to do is sit down, focus on the inhales and the exhales of your breathing, and realize that your body is doing all kinds of things without you having to orchestrate every action,” Amy told me. “Let thoughts rise up, smile softly at them, and then send them off in a helium balloon above your personal ocean.”
That was the same advice one of my other friends who’s way into meditation told me.
“Imagine any distracting thought like a bird,” he explained. “He may land on your head. That’s okay. Just don’t let him nest.”
I wish he hadn’t used that analogy because now whenever I try to meditate I immediately picture myself as Ellen (Debra Winger) in the 1995 flick, “Forget Paris” (with Billy Crystal), with a bird nest stuck to my hair, totally freaking out.
“I am not the total pro, but I have learned that sitting is just sitting, nothing more,” Amy explained. “Some days it is nice, some days I’m restless, some days it is nothing, just boring.”
She later quoted Lama Surya Das, one of the foremost American Lamas in the Buddhist tradition, who said, “The mind is a terrible thing to watch.”
And then Swami Chetananda, (do all swamis have long last names?) who said this:
“When you are with someone you love very much, you can talk and it is pleasant, but the reality is not in the conversation. It is in simply being together. Meditation is the highest form of prayer. In it you are so close to God that you don’t need to say a thing–it is just great to be together.”
We will certainly miss you, Amy! Please come back when you’re ready.
|
Previous Posts
Therapy Thursday: Sweat
posted 6:01:57am Feb. 09, 2012 | read full post »
Scrupulosity: What It Is and Why It's Dangerous
posted 6:17:35am Feb. 07, 2012 | read full post »
The Treasures of Darkness
posted 6:06:40am Feb. 06, 2012 | read full post »
On Groundhog Day: 12 Winter Depression Busters
posted 6:30:47am Feb. 02, 2012 | read full post »
6 Ways to Stay Resilient in Stress
posted 6:00:24am Jan. 31, 2012 | read full post » |
|
||
|
|
||
| click here to see all of our uplifting newsletters» |
Meet others on the journey in
Therese’s community group
Ask Therese to be your friend
Therese J. Borchard writes the daily blog, Beyond Blue, on Beliefnet and is a regular contributor to the award-winning blog, World of Psychology, on Psych Central. Therese is the author of Beyond Blue: Surviving Depression & Anxiety and Making the Most of Bad Genes and The Pocket Therapist: An Emotional Survival Kit. Subscribe to Beyond Blue, visit her website, or follow her on Twitter @thereseborchard.
Meet others on the journey in
Therese’s community group
Ask Therese to be your friend
Therese J. Borchard writes the daily blog, Beyond Blue, on Beliefnet and is a regular contributor to the award-winning blog, World of Psychology, on Psych Central. Therese is the author of Beyond Blue: Surviving Depression & Anxiety and Making the Most of Bad Genes and The Pocket Therapist: An Emotional Survival Kit. Subscribe to Beyond Blue, visit her website, or follow her on Twitter @thereseborchard.
posted August 10, 2007 at 10:33 am
I don’t know how I got subscribed to this list. I opened this email and read it. I have to say, it was not at all what I expected. If all the content is like this article on meditation, I think I’m really going to enjoy receiving these! I love the description of meditation from Swami Chetananda.
This is the first time I’ve heard of Therese, but I like her already.
posted August 10, 2007 at 5:27 pm
thank you for your notes. i wanted to reply but my attempts were rejected upon return? no e-mail allowed? thanks, nancy
posted August 10, 2007 at 8:33 pm
I wish I could calm my mind. When it doesn’t happen, I feel guilty for wanting any possible distraction.
posted August 11, 2007 at 12:41 pm
Great way to put. I struggle with meditation because I have a hard time centering myself. The balloon and the bird sitting on your head gives me a lot of visualization to use. What is transceding? Is that where you feel like you are flying? Has anyone ever felt like they were melting?
Thanks,
Melissa
posted August 13, 2007 at 5:46 pm
i’m sorry but i didnt understand about the bird and balloon thing coz i am french educated so if u pls try in a simply way to understand the point .
thank you
posted August 14, 2007 at 12:20 am
I find medition easier if I imagine myself in a canoe, watching the sun going down and the geese flying by (or some other beautiful, meaningful scene). Once, in church, I was meditating on the cross and was so in touch with my inner soul and was so calm that I fell asleep.
posted August 14, 2007 at 5:30 pm
WHY SHOULD I IMAGINE MYSLEF WITH ALL WHAT U R SAYING AND I CAN DO IT FOR REAL?IS THE IMAGINATION WHO WILL SOLVE THE PROBLEM ?
THANK YOU AGAIN
posted August 14, 2007 at 6:04 pm
I just wanted to add my loss with Amy not posting a daily column. I AM 54 years old, handicapped and really enjoyed. Love always, Lindsay
posted August 23, 2007 at 9:27 am
Taking meditation as prayer I’ve found Centering Prayer or as I call it Listening Prayer to be very effective. You can google it or Father Thomas Keating for more info.. Basically you meditate and listen for God’s communication to come to you while focusing on “God’s Presence and action in your life. Similar to the Bird nesting, you let your thoughts pass as if boats on a river as you meditate on “the dock” as they go buy. If you find yourself “on board” a passing thought no big deal; however, should you find your self “going down into the hole” of the boat or thought you gently leave it by refocusing through use of a sacred picture or word, on your intention to focus on “God’s presence and action in your life”. It is an excellent form of prayer!
posted August 23, 2007 at 10:29 am
I read your article about meditation and as an Indian I must say I am amused.All this talk about the mind loitering around and the feather and the nest.
When you meditate, your body function undergoes change and you can immidiately feel that your breath has slowed down.You breath in the perfect way possible.You are aware of everything but nothing can distract you.
In the times of tiring cacaphony meditation is perfect peace.
posted August 23, 2007 at 9:53 pm
I am unable to still my mind long enough since being a single parent of two children, ages 7 and 9. Any suggestions?
posted August 24, 2007 at 12:41 am
Meditation, yes is a practice but it is a strategy as well. I have had many accounts in life using meditation as a tool. When applied after practice of course, meditation is affective. Kind of like learning a killer cross over in basket ball, practicing it , and then appling it in the big game to help “the team win.”
Namaste
posted August 24, 2007 at 12:07 pm
I have found three excellent (I think — doesn’t mean the books actually ARE excellent! LOL) basic easy-to-read books on meditation:
The Breath by Vessantara
The Miracle of Mindfulness by Thich Nhat Hanh
Calming Your Anxious Mind by Jeffrey Brantley (a great book to begin with)
There are different types of what we call meditation. It wouldn’t hurt to read a basic book or two about meditation before beginning. But there are two big basic problems with most of us who want to meditate: (1) Actually getting down to the actual ‘sitting’, the actual practice of meditating, because you’ll find that you have a million reasons NOT to do it; and (2) there are so many slightly different methods of meditation that, if you investigate them all, that’s what you’ll be doing with your time — reading instead of meditating.
I may be wrong (I don’t think so — of course!) but I’ve read over and over that it’s not so much the method/path that we choose as much as (1) we do choose a method; and (2) — and this is very important — we meditate every day.
For those of us who think we can’t meditate — our minds are just too ‘busy’, we don’t have time, etc., etc., etc., — just start sitting and breathing every day and see what happens.
And if you stick with it, eventually will need a teacher. Choose one carefully, when the time comes.
posted August 26, 2007 at 2:41 pm
I’m a single mom with 3 kids, and meditation has been my anchor and refuge. I just wake up an hour or two earlier than I usually do in my regular day and “commune with my God”.
Throughout the day, those early moments spent in meditation keeps me centered, more aware, more alive, stronger, wiser.
I think of it as taking a spiritual bath everyday, as well as recharging my self for the day, like I recharge my cellphone.
posted August 26, 2007 at 7:02 pm
wow-great words–right now my bible study is reading Brother Lawrence’s book-the practice of the presence of God. and I belong to a comtemplative prayer group. Meditation is a way to getting closer to God and listeneing to Him. I have seen it.
God’s peace be with you,
Barbara
posted August 26, 2007 at 8:23 pm
I have tried to do meditation, it gets kind of hard to sit and concentration, could you please advise some method to concentrate
Rav