I appreciate the reminders — from a nun, no less! — that prayer does not have to be “traditional.”
But … what if you are unsure that your prayers are or even can be heard?
I want to emphasize two very important distinctions in this sentence. It’s not as if I’m sure my prayers are NOT heard (i.e., I am not either an atheist or agnostic, just a VERY lapsed Catholic). Also, I believe G-d exists — but I feel His presence distantly rather than closely.
Also, after 38 years I am well schooled enough to know my own human frailties — and that the fact that G-d, to the extent He answers prayers, does so differently than we might selfishly want is actually a blessing rather than a curse. (There’s a beautiful song by Garth Brooks on just that subject.)
Yet and still …
People have told me that I have depression and the other problems I have because I’ve turned away from G-d. I don’t for a second believe that’s directly true — not because I’ve become less religious (that’s indisputable), but because IMHO it’s also indisputable that depression and my other issues have medical and other earthly causes. In any case, if G-d is indeed indirectly “sending a signal,” it’s a cruel, vindictive, Old Testament one.
Yet I DO feel like G-d has turned away from me (to the extent that may even be possible). So how does a lowly human “send a signal” to a G-d who is either too distant to care or so involved that He actively punishes the wicked (or even slightly wicked, as in my case) and thus wouldn’t care about one’s pleas for mercy?

Larry – I feel exactly the same way. Thanks for voicing it so eloquently.

Jeremiah 29:11-13
10 This is what the LORD says:… 11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart…
God is talking to the Israelites about “their distance of heart” from Him and how He sent them into exile to ponder their disobedience(acknowledging other Gods or idols and not keeping His commandments.) The big ones are to love God with all your heart, mind, body and soul and others as ourselves.
I believe that All God asks is that we believe in all that He has done and know to walk by faith despite what we see in front of us. He has something better but, He can’t show us unless we are looking at Him. He said countless times in the bible I will not, will not, ever leave you or forsake you… Seek, Knock, Ask…and you will find Him, and the door will be open to you… It’s the free will thing, we have a choice in the relationship. He doesn’t intrude where He is not invited.
For me, when I felt like God had left the building it was because I was focusing on His hand and not His presence. Looking at my outward circumstances as confirmation that He loves me. He loves us with His presence, He is God, and He created love. That is the one variable that never changes. I know that He is just like us, He wants to be acknowledged, appreciated and most of loved just as He is. So sure, when we need Him we call on Him and when He doesn’t answer at times we think He doesn’t care. On the contrary, He cares more than we will ever know.

I, too, struggle with prayer. When I try to pray, I feel like my mind is the equivalent of an unearthed ant colony rushing in a million directions at once. Quieting my head seems almost impossible. But I do remember hearing that even trying to pray, is in itself, a prayer. Even as I feel myself fleeing the presence of God, a cry for help is flying in my wake — and I do believe that God, who knows all my shortcomings and failures, accepts my miserable attempts with kindness and mercy.
Larry and “A”: People quote scripture for their own purposes, and I am loathe to do that, but the picture of God that I try to remember is that of the prodigal Father. He doesn’t turn away, or even expect reform, before welcoming his boy back home. One of the best books I read by Henri Nouwen, is “Return of the Prodigal.” As much as anything has helped me, that book has. I so appreciated Nouwen’s admission of his own inadequacies which make him accessible for me. His speaking from weakness, rather than strength, was his gift to us.

OK, so how does one get past the “noise” of modern religion (which is, whatever the sect, exceedingly likely to blame me for my very depression, let alone my other life circumstances) to get to the “quiet” of spirituality and contact with divine presence?

God is always with you ..All you need to do is look around you , listen and you will feel his presence. Your prayer is a powerful thing
whatever you say make sure you mean it.Just simply open your heart
and let him in anywhere anytime .

I FIND MYSELF CONSTANTLY PRAYING FOR ONE THING OR ANOTHER, BUT MOST OF MY PRAYERS ARE NOT FOR ME, BUT FOR MY FAMILY WHO ARE GOING THROUGH SOME BAD TIMES, ESPECIALLY MY SON AND HIS FAMILY. IT IS SAID THAT GOD LISTENS TO A MOTHERS PRAYERS FIRST, AND I HOPE THIS IS TRUE. I JUST WANT HIM TO HAVE A GOOD LIFE, FIND A JOB AND A HOME SO HE CAN RAISE HIS CHILDREN AND ENJOY THEM. I AM SAD AND DEPRESSED ALOT BECAUSE EVERY TIME HE TAKES THREE STEPS FORWARD SOMETHING GOES WRONG AND HE GOES TWO STEPS BACK. I ASK THAT YOU ALL REMEMBER HIM WHEN YOU PRAY AND ASK GOD TO HELP HIM, HIS NAME IS TOM.

my husband and i have had financial set backs. my husband says he feels dead inside.i am getting close to this too. we pray and it seems that isn’t any listening or answering going on.our house is close to being gone and our 1 vehicle also.i apply for jobs but so far nothing has come about. my husband is making some money as a subcontractor, but not enough.with all the construction woes it is hard for him to make money. at least there aren’t any kids to worry about. they are all out of the house. where do you turn when you feel as there is no more turning. assistance is out of question- we made too much money last year.

I have also had financial difficulties. When I pray to God for help, it seems some little positive thing always happens. I try to remember that God is directing my life. Even though I am having difficulties, it is making me stronger. I believe that when I am delivered from my trials, I will appreciate the good things much more. I have learned to really budget my funds and when I do get better financial stability, I won’t waste it. God is all good and all loving. Try to see a positive in the negative. Every thing is a life lesson. I needed bread for my son’s lunch the other day. I only had $10.00 for milk, bread and cookies. The bread we like and the cookies were buy one get one free. Now, that is a deal! I thanked God immediately. It is like the loaves and fishes; he spread my money around to get double what I needed. God is so great!

I mut disagree with the reaso stated about why people give scriptures. I give scriptures back to God to let Him and the devil know that not onlyam I aware of what the WORD said about my situation but I also expect for God to honor His word.
For instance the Bible says that God will never leave nor forsake us. Whne and if ever I feel alone or forsaken that is the scripture I tell God I am standing on and I say to Him just lie i am saying to you, because I KNOW that you are GOD and I trust in your word, I need for you t simply honor your word and do EXACTLY what you said you would. Another scripture God is not a man that He shoudl lie neither the son of man that He should repent. I pray that every time I pray because He cannot lie and EVERY DAY I have to remind myself and the nemy that He cannot make me doubt the Love of God neither can he make me believe that my prayers are bein answered. I enourage youto talk t the enemy like he speaks to your mind and tell him that he is a liar and he is also defeaed with no victory concerning your life.
I will join in with others who are lifting you up in prayer and I will ask God to move for you. I will ask Him to let you know that He not only hear yu prayers but He answers them as well even though some tmes YOU may not feel it.
Ask God t help your unbelief when the enemy tries to discourage you. Even if depression is an issue bottom line it is an enemy of both yours and God.
I pray your joy in the Lord because the JOY of the LORD is your strength.
Angela

I’m a single mom trying to do the best to raise my son. All I’ve ever gotten from his father are promises, promises that he usually breaks. In the end it is my son who gets hurt and it’s just not fair. He is enrolled in a Catholic school and I pray to God everyday that his father sends the money for the tuition (which he promised) so that he can continue his education for the remainder of the year, at least. My son loves the school, his friends and our Priest and I feel so at home that I would hate to have to let that go. I hate to live paycheck to paycheck with negative amounts in my bank account and creditors on my back. I sometimes feel that God isn’t listening to me and that he’s teaching me a lesson of some sort. I don’t know, I just can’t take this anymore..

I TOO HAVE PRAYED ,AND THOUGHT LIKE NO ONE HAD LISTENED.AND I KEEP PRAYING,NOT FOR ME BUT FOR MY NOW HUSBAND,AND MY SONS.MY YOUNGEST SON DOESNT SEEM TO MAKE ENOUGH MONEY TO GET AHEAD,EVEN THOUGH HE LOVES WHAT HE DOES,I WISH GOD COULD HELP HIM WITH FINDING A BETTER WAY TO MAKE MORE MONEY SO HE CAN ENJOY LIFE INSTEAD OF WORKING AND JUST SITTING AT HOME,BECAUSE HE HAS NO MONEY TO DO ANYTHING WITH,HE WONT EVEN DATE BECAUSE HE SAYS HE DOESNT HAVE MONEY TO TAKE ANYONE OUT ,SO WHY GET INVOLED PLUS HE FEELS NO ONE WANTS A MAN WITH NO MNONEY.I FEEL BAD FOR HIM AND I PRAY ALL THE TIME.I PRAY MY NEW HUSBAND CAN MAKE THIS BUSINESS HE STARTED A SUCESS.BECAUSE WE HAVE PUT ALL OUR SAVINGS INTO IT,AND IF IT DOESNT,IM AFRAID HE,LL HAVE ANOTHR BREAKDOWN.I COULDNT HANDLE THIS.THE LAST TIME IT ALMOST BROKE US APART.I LOVE HIM VERY MUCH AND WANT HIM TO BE ABLE TO HOLD HIS HEAD HIGH,AND HES SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW I DONT WANT ANYTHING BAD TO HAPPEN.I JSUT WANT US TO MAKE IT AND NOT HAVE TO RELAYNON OUR CHILDREN WHEN WE RETIRE.WERE NOT YOUNG ANYMORE AND I DONT WANT TO HAVE TO WORK ALL OF OUR LIVES.PLUS IM NOT IN THE BEST OF HEALTH AND CANT WORK,AND I KNOW IT BOTHERS HIM ALOT.HE WANTS TO TAKE CARE OF ME THE WAY A PERSON SHOULD BE TAKEN CARE OF SO I PRAY AGAIN THAT GOD IS LISTENING AND WILL ANSWER MY PRAYERS.

MY NAME IS KENYA,AND I HAVE BEEN THROUGH A GREAT LOSS IN THE PAST 3YRS ILOST MY DEAR GRANDPARENTS,I RECENT LOSS MY YOUNG BROTHER ON 3/16/07 DUE 2 DIABETES.I TOOK ON MY GRANDPARENTS HOME WHEN THEY PASSED AWAY.I HAVE NEVER OWNNED A HOME IN MY LIFE,I ABSOLUTLEY KNEW NOTHING ABOUT OWNING A HOME,I WANTED 2 KEEP THE HOUSE BECAUSE IT HAS BEEN IN OUR FAMILY 4 61YRS.NO OTHER FAMILY MEMEBER STEPPED UP 2 TAKE IT ON.I HAVE HAD 2 CONTRACTORS COME IN AND COMPLETLY TAKE ADVANTAGE OFF A YOUG WOMAN WITH NO ONE AROUND BUT MYSELF,I HAD REFINANCED MY HOME 2 FIX UP THE HOME,IT WAS IN BAD CONDITION.THESE GUYS CAME IN TOOK ALL MY MONEY AND DID NOTHING 2 MY HOME.I HAVE TURNED 2 PEOPLE NO ONE HELPS.I AM ALL ALONE,TYRING 2 COPE WITH THE LOSS OF MY LOVE ONES,MY HOUSE IS NOW IN FORECLOSE,AND I HAVE NO ONE THAT WANTS 2 HELP ME.PLEASE KEEP ME IN UR PRAYERS.KENYA.

Here is some advice to Becky:
I also have financial problems and I have prayed for help. But one thing that has helped is to not be hopeless and to understand that if I truly am a believer, then I need to act like one. Don’t get me wrong- it’s not easy and I am not going to lie. You will still worry but if you put your faith in God, things will work out.
There are some hard things about my life I had to look at re: my financial situation and you and your husband have to do the same. For example, you mentioned that the construction job market isn’t great. Well, then why continue to apply for jobs in that market? Do something different, either a different field or a different area dealing with construction. I am not knowledgeable about the field but it doesn’t make sense to continue to be discouraged by applying for the same type of jobs. This advice also applies to you. I am sorry you may lose your home. Have you exhausted all options regarding how you could keep your home? Do some serious research on this. I have a friend in a similar situation and she has called financial advisers ( all of them free through the community organizations) for help. She too is probably going to lose her home but she is trying to sell it and move into a smaller place before it foreclosed. And believe me, she feels like she is losing her mind, but working on solutions instead of feeling sorry for herself helps a lot.
Act like a believer and see if your blessings come to you…

it always seems that when it rains it pours. i have so many problems and i dont know where to turn. i have tried to get help but it seems in this town nobody wants to help. my church dont even want to help they told my son that as long as i’m with my man they wont help u see i’m white and my man of almost 10 years is black so i stop going to church and i love going to church i have been crying alot and so depressed i just dont know what else to do. i have no income i have to be out of my house by the thirty of aug no where to go i have 3 kids my man is in jail cuz of fighting with his cousin plus he broke his ankle in the woods before he went to jail. please keep me in your prayers and keep my family in your prayers too thank you and god bless you

Sometimes I pray and feel depressed and say to myself what are you doing you are not worthy of God’s ear. But I know that it is the devil telling me that I am not worthy so that I won’t pray. But I find that if I start my prayers with everything I am thankful for that I know he has provided for me, the words come out a whole lot easier after that.
And I thank him for everything in my life my kids and my husband, my parents and all of them being in good health. The fact that we have health insurance and heat and air and cars that run and lights and water. The fact that for the most part my kids are good, everything I can think of…………..God id good and he is always listening. Always…….I try to remember that through out the day, when I get moody. LOL
I think that if God can forgive pastor Maury Davis at Cornerstone church for killing a man, then he forgive just about anything. As long as you try to not repeat the same sin over and over again. I would think he has nerves you can get on too, LOL.

Here is some advice to Becky:
I also have financial problems and I have prayed for help. But one thing that has helped is to not be hopeless and to understand that if I truly am a believer, then I need to act like one. Don’t get me wrong- it’s not easy and I am not going to lie. You will still worry but if you put your faith in God, things will work out.
There are some hard things about my life I had to look at re: my financial situation and you and your husband have to do the same. For example, you mentioned that the construction job market isn’t great. Well, then why continue to apply for jobs in that market? Do something different, either a different field or a different area dealing with construction. I am not knowledgeable about the field but it doesn’t make sense to continue to be discouraged by applying for the same type of jobs. This advice also applies to you. I am sorry you may lose your home. Have you exhausted all options regarding how you could keep your home? Do some serious research on this. I have a friend in a similar situation and she has called financial advisers ( all of them free through the community organizations) for help. She too is probably going to lose her home but she is trying to sell it and move into a smaller place before it foreclosed. And believe me, she feels like she is losing her mind, but working on solutions instead of feeling sorry for herself helps a lot.
Act like a believer and see if your blessings come to you…

Kenya,
Please have faith that God will show you the way through to the light. Your grandparents and your brother are more able to help you and love you now than they were in this earthly kingdom. Be very quiet. Get very still. Take a deep breath. And, as you exhale imagine that the gears are in motion to deliver you to a place of love and security. Let go of your fear and your attachment to the home, for it is not your grandparents, Let go of your attachment to their earthly presence, for that is not your grandparents. All are God now, who will deliver you on his gracious and loving path. Just believe. You will see.

This is for Caroline Jacobson. I felt your presences in my heart when I read your comments. There is alot of us that thinks that we have it worst than others but when you meet people who have been going through worst ordeals, it makes you feel thinkful. I really feel within my heart and soul that no matter what the situation, God will not forsake or leave you alone. You may not prayed to him but he knows your heart. You believed in God once, all you have to do is just believed again. God loves you and has always been there for you. He has not forsaken you sweety. Talk to him all the time, he is the only one that can help you. He may not come when you want him, bu trsut me I know he is always on time. I do not know you but I feel the love in your heart. Love nad prayer is the key.
Donna Anderson

Prayer does keep your mind off your problems. God sometimes may be answering our prayers with a “no” and we may not be ready to accept his answer. Also, when we pray it is like we are giving our problems to God. Laying them at his feet and leaving them there. This is often the hardest thing for us a humans to do. Letting go of our problems is often a difficult task for us.

What is prayer, but comunicating with God. People sometimes say they feel so distant from God but He never leaves you hanging. It is written” I shall never leave you nor forsake you.” We may feel distant from God at times but he’s always waiting patiently for us to return to him. If you just talk to God like a friend, that’s praying. You don’t have to be in church to be “in the spirit” Just to be really quiet and listen for that little voice within, that is to hear God’s answer. Sometimes the answer to our prayers is “No”,because we don’t know what’s around the bend but He does!

I have found that when I pray thanking God for all my blessings it really lifts my spirits. When you pray use the “ACTS” Adoration,confession, thankfulness and supplication. I also carry a gratitude rock in my pocket and all throughout the day when i feel it in my pocket I say thank you for something good in my life. These things really work. Good luck.

to. this my cancern im amother three i had nothing but hart ship since ive moved to this town in sibaley my dog was brutulley killed my children was taken a way now my husband is sitting in jaile for apast thing that he dint even do and i was put in jaile for a grate big miss happ that nowing me when itell you i didnt no it was wron you would prabully noing me like some pepole do u 2 would under stand thats wy my children have ben wrongly taken from me ive ben trying every thing to get them back you see ive onley got to more things to comepleat but have noway to get them dun because they r in a difrent town and thats what is part of the reason i cant get them back now weave keppta up the rent and now were be hind on the elecktrick all because no one in this town will hyer me and so ther we cant afard to have ellecktricity weve ben living in the dark now for the second time now going on twoweeks and thats because the first time the lights wer shutt of we couldent affard too have them turnned on so this church we thght was agood faith gave us achance not well at first we thght so but then when i found out abght the job i starrted at the time was onnley paing me $ 2.00 .45 cents ann hour i sead i wasnt rorking for that little pay so i quit and i ex splane this to the passtor and all so sead i was in the pra ses of finding me wark else wer but i did find me apart time job working with horses now and but that wasent good enugh the church took the money back from the light company and so forth the lights were agin shut off and now we ask for healp thers no healp because were laftta at literly how can some one get finnashell healp to get help to get on your feet unntill you can get that job that pays icant drive anny were ive got to walk every were ive got 2 cats 1dog amom thats you mitess well say shes 60 yrs. old and this has taken abig tole on her that im to the point that we go into a homeless shellter because in this place we are un able to find healp if we dont find the healp we need soon im afrade im going to loos my mom in death sinde scared and all a lone with a 18 yr old still living at home that ant 18yrs old in her mind this is what i her from her mommy what are we going to do i allways try and tell herr the lord will prvide us a way to healp mommy get a job thanks for your tyme to take to her my sit u a tion.

THE DEVIL IS ALWAYS LERKING BUT GOD IS ALWAYS WATCHING AND WAITING FOR US TO ASK HIM FOR HIS HELP AND GUIDANCE ONE MUST TELL THE DEVIL RIGHT OUT TO GO AWAY HE IS NOT WELCOME IN YOUR LIFE ONLY GOD IS. PICTURE GODS ARMS AROUND YOU DAY AND NIGHT. GOD IS GOOD AND
PLEASE DONT GIVE UP ON YOURSELF JUST ASK FOR HELP HE IS THERE FOR YOU AND FOR ME.
GOD BLESS ALL,
BOBBIE

I love god but I have moments of the terrible tragic expeirences. God rest our soul. Pray it will get through. Trust in God
bless you all
keep going.
kathy p.

…”What is Prayer but communicating with God…” Well for your info, depression sucks all the hope that God is listening right out of you! In most cases, the depressed person feels that God doesn’t care, or this (whatever) wouldn’t be happening…so why bother trying to communicate? Besides, if God is so omnipotent, He knows what’s going on and must be ALLOWING it to happen, so therefore He is the cause. Again, why pray? When a family is deprived of basic human needs (a roof over their head, food, or suitable clothing) – they BLAME GOD. Again, Why Pray? Absoulutely, I believe that depressiion taints the way you perceive God, and the way you feel God looks at you…but the article doesn’t help someone who has lost hope and cannot bring themselves to pray, in the belief that is would only bring MORE heartache.

i go through this everytime i pray.mind can never focus on whats good in my life.i keep on praying though,I know that HE does hear and HE knows all.I suffer from deppression also.yes its hard.one thing i do know is there were many a days that i shouldnt have suvived alot of my lifes wrong decisions but,im still here.not as bad or hopeless as before either.its up to me to take steps to make my life more liveable.GOD is always there. the devil is a liar thats his job.i am a survivor trust me when i tell u.HE IS…………..

AT 30 YEARS YOUNG AND YES I WAS RAISED IN CHURCH AND TOUGHT TO PRAY SOMETIMES I WONDER IF MY PRAYERS ARE HEARD. 3YRS AGO I LOST MY “GRANNY” SHE WAS MY WORLD AND GROWING UP SHE TOUGHT ME SO MUCH I NEVER THOUGHT SHE WOULD EVER DIE AS CRAZY AS THAT SOUNDS. I CONSTENLY ASK GOD TO BLESS ME WITH A CHILD OF MY OWN YOU SEE MY GRANNY WAS MY CONNECTION WITH GOD WHEN THINGS GOT ROUGH AND SHE WOULD PRAY WITH ME AND FOR ME I KNEW THINGS WOULD BE O.KAY…HER VOICE AND HER WORDS WERE ENOUGH TO GET ME THRU.MY GOD PLEASE BLESS ME WITH A BETTER LIFE HUMBLE ME MAKE ME A BETTER WIFE AND ONE DAY A MOTHER.I WILL TELL YOU THIS I KNOW GOD HAS CARRIED ME THRU THIS AND NO MATTER WHAT HE WILL HEAR MY PRAYERS NOW OR LATER…GOD BLESS ALL

For many years , I was in depression. For many years, I prayed as well as I’m sure others prayed for me. Sometimes actually for most of those years I did not do very much . I was in bed resting,sleeping, or in a chair. Thats about what my days consisted of. But new medication came along which has helped. But also a very special person came to be head of the center or network that helps people like myself. He came by and talked me into getting out of the house more to do activities. Such as bowling, an art therapy class, a support group, and some others. I trusted him and he sure led me in the right direction. I did go to these groups and it helped immensely. I went for 1 or 2 years and also to talk therapy. Now I cant go like I did because of mainly physical problems that have lasted off and on for 2 or 3 years. But if ever i get better my goal is to get back to all these groups or at least many of them(which I’m sure I will get better).
Before I felt like a veteran of the Veitnam War stuck in his house because of bad memories only coming to the door when i felt it was safe or to get a meal. I may have seen that in a movie sometime, but thats the way I felt. I did get out more than that but i felt that way when i finally got in to the sunshine and back around more people. That very special person I feel was led by God to help me. And he did just that. And I’ve met many other special people who have helped me because i got out of the cocooon so to speak. My hair used to be long just like people wore in say the 70s or very early 80s. Now I’ve found out most men wear their hair shorter. ha ha. So as i can i get it cut and try to keep it well groomed.
My advise is to continue praying if you are or start now. Not all day of course but every day and I’m confident something or a special person will help you and / or lead you in the right direction if you cant do it on your own. ( the reason is most days i did have the time i could of prayed all day if i wanted. i did pray a lot but not that much.) Anyway, as some people say Keep the Faith. And dont forget to ask others or another truly sincere person to pray w/ you or for you. I say this because there are fake people out there. And believe me I’ve run into more than a few. God Bless You.

There are those of us (myself included) who feel either hopeless or
betrayed by God. It may be hard but we must never forget that….
If God brings you to it, he is more than able to bring you through it.
We, as humans, have unlimited potential. Yet, without God, we can do
Nothing “BUT” fail.
God, on the other hand, is beyond worthy and even during the darkest
of times…..can do Anything “Except” fail.
My darkest moments are not those during which I encounter hardships.
My darkest moments only occur when I become blind to how far God has
brought me from where, & who I once was.
Look deeply into that place where lies your faith. Regardless of how
lonely it may appear, a closer look will always reveal a figure with
outstretched arms waiting for you to share an embrace.
May God’s peace & blessings be with you all.
Regenold ~aka~ MidnyteSunshine

I have been a christan for almost 30 years.There has been times that I would go a while and never pray, but I always knew that God was with me always.A few months ago my husband of 15 year move out,leaving me thinking I was alone and not able to make my own decisions.to some extent after 3 mo. I still believe this.I pray to God daily asking him to make me strong and help me to draw closer to him. There are days I still feel so alone, but I know he will never leave me.Today was one of the days I spent crying most of the day,but during all this heart ache, sadness and broken heart I know God will answer my prayers, maybe not at the time I want but he will answer.I pray that I never let myself draw away from God again.

I battled depression and anxiety for many years. Praise God I am past it now to the point that instead of everyday, I have bouts maybe once a month. I was in therapy for 13 yrs off and on, but the most profound thing anyone ever said to me was that depression was unresolved, unexpressed anger. that opened a world to me that helped me heal. With God’s help, I was able to tell the abusers how I felt abont them without going beserk. I wrote an important letter to my father, that helped me face my anger so I could forgive and move past it. I had to face it first. I found out that being “nice” doesn’t mean you can’t tell people how you feel.

i just ask for prayer for my family we need to move and sell our home so we can put down payment on another i have the faith that thing will work out but it says in the bible 2 or more comes to gether in prayer should have blessings so pls pray for our family,i belive in god s favor and i belive god is here for each and every one of us,praise god for being a great god,,.love lela from indy,ps i love to get emails from others thank you,lela in indy ebaby_1223@yahoo.com

I been depressed almost all my life and I’m 45 years old,, as a child I was molested, that’s when it all began my world fell apart.. I started using drugs, looked for love in all the wrong places .. got married became addicted to cocaine for the next 20 years of my life until one day I found God!! my whole world changed I became one of the happiest people alive, I couldn’t wait to wake up to start my day.. until the unthinkable happen.. my son was shot and killed and I didn’t have much time sober with him.. my whole world fell apart again.. but God brought me through the storm and I can see the sunshine again.. God gave me a vision.. and now I’m starting to see things change and I know for a fact that I’m gonna be successful and I know what my future holds for me and I am happy ….

I have known depression. It still knocks on my door once in awhile. It is knocking again. We moved to a village and the winters here are long. We have been looking for a new resident and running into roadblocks. So I will now have to take the attitude of gratitude and turn it over to God. I also have a 13 year old kitty with cancer. Today I cried because I found two tumors on her three weeks ago and I know our journey to geather is coming to an end. Life is a school with lessons to be learn. I’m glad that others are sharing theirs along the way.

Hi there, I’m a backslider trying to regain my strength back with the Heavenly Father. Many times I’ve been through so much in my life but I truly believe it’s the plan of the enemies and many time when I pray I really felt like my prayer is not been answer. I truly don’t think anyone as a very rough life like me, but now I’m praying for the Lord to bless me in all that I do also that I may restore my life back at the place where I belong with Him because He said that men are a failure but He will always be there for us don’t matter what we have done He is ever faithful and just to us same way. I’m asking each and every one to please pray for me as I continue to pray for myself and my children that He will provide us with a new home and a loving husband.

I have been having mood swings for the past year. My nephew was killed and I find myself angry all the time. Everyday I pretend that I am happy so I can get through another day without him. Several times a day i cry out “Lord help me” momentarily a sense of peace comes over me. It’s as if i have been embraced the our lord and savior.I love the lord with all my heart, mind and soul and I will continue to lean and depend on him and I suggest everyone do the same.

i have had an emotional roller coaster of a life for the last 10 years. Sometimes i dont know how i will keep going on. My mom had cancer and my dad had alzheimers. I am an only child. I tryed to take care of both of them and my mom passed away in 1997 and my dad..in 1999. i miss them both sooooo much. Then my husband , of 18 years….went back to college and our lives went in separate directions. When i needed him to be here to comfort me…..he was gone…involved in all his school projects.So we divorced. i felt Sooooooo alone. so..now i am having major financial difficulties trying to keep my house and pay the bills. its been very hard on me. i have prayed over and over and over….to ask God to help me and put me where he wants me to be. i hope i find the right job and the right guy …..but i feel so distraught at times. i hope God blesses me so i can keep my house, and i pray he will bless all of you who have written here.

hi..i have depression really bad too..i never really noticed it until 3-4 yrs ago..i also was molested as a child by both of my parents…and there friends…my dad used pet animals on me from 5-17 yrs old..if u said i love you mommy…she would say your just to emotional…she watched or helped him…..i used drugs for 36 yrs of my life..i went through a 20 yr marriage breakup in 94…then started on herion…i have 4 yrs clean…i just became a new believer in christ..my dad told me god hated me…so did they….i use to pray god take me …let me die,…he never did,,,i have been cutting myseklf bad..i have good spiritual support from friends and god…..i read the bible and pray..i have a hunger…but satan is there at night pushing me…i am afraid of the dark…hes gonna get me…i hear so many voices in my head…i am in a new relationship with a man whose clean and a christian..i never felt feelings like this beffore of being blessed….i have to cut myself..the scars on my arms are healing they were deep…but the cuts inside are deeper…pray for me…i cant even see my grandkids..my daughter talks to me but there is distance…god bless you..deborah

I am a 43 year old man who was also molested and physically abused as a child. I have been depressed as long as I can remember. I turned to drugs in my early teens and that progressed through multiple suicide attempts, many hospitalizations, unemployment, divorce, and homelessness. I have always believed in God and the sacrifice made by his son Jesus for me. I asked Him to help me and he answered my prayers, but told me there were some things that I must do for myself and He would do the rest. He did, and I have been drug free (cocaine) for almost 2 years and I am truly grateful and at peace with sobriety. I take my medications every day, see my psychiatrist once a month, and talk with a therapist. I seem to be facing a particularly difficult time right now since re-uniting last December with my ex-wife and children (adults now), and I get very depressed and anxious a lot. I pray everyday and I know that God will bring me through this period of difficulty like He has before. I am so thankful for His constant presence when I feel other wise totally alone.

I am a 59 year old woman. I have empathy for all of you sharing your stories. I value your honesty.
I was raped repeatably and impregnated by my father from 10-13 years of age. I have had two very alcoholic marriages, and a couple of bad relationships. I have struggled with addictions of all kinds not really aware of what was happening in my life and why was I so unhappy. Most recently I am recoverying (7mths clean) of a crack addiction, using with a man I thought that loved me! In my early years I went to church and Sunday school where my dad always stayed in bed (unknown to me hungover) I never got a clear message that I was lovable or that I was worth anything, I never understood God. Today I live by the spiritual principles, I pray regularily and fully believe that there is a higher power, that I am loved, I am deserving and worthy of a better life today. I have had a couple of spiritual awakenings that left me in aw! and a stronger sense of believing that God is there. That today I am listening to him as he guides me in my choices today. The awareness of God today allows me to feel comfort when I may otherwise feel lonley. Through Gods love I am a greatfully recovering from the disease of addiction. M in Canada

I’m a 53 year-old widow, with a 22 year old son. I’ve been widowed for 17 years now. First we lost my husband, (my son was just shy of his fifth birthday, then my dad, then 3 years ago my younger brother, and last November it was my mom. I’ve been ok through most of it, but since 2003 i’ve been more unemployed, than employed. I’ve had to go bankrupt, use up all my 401K, and now I have to lean on my son and my friends to help me pay bills. I keep trying to see daylight, but I’m just not doing so hot. I pray, stop praying, pray, stop praying… God has always gotten me through, but lately, I’m really struggling to remember that. Thank God for my son and my friends, without them I’d be a real mess. I hope you all know that He really is with us. My friend keeps telling me that God’s trying to teach me about Pride & Acceptance. Enough already!! I know it will happen in Gods time, and when I remember that, I’m ok. Hang in there, it gets better, if not better, it definintely does get different!

I have also suffered with depression for the last ten years. I was baptized at the age of 10. I grew up believing in Jesus and said my prayers etc. After becoming a teenager I stopped going to church although I continued to pray, just not on a regular basis. It seemed I only prayed when I was in need. I never read the bible much because I always used the excuse that I didn’t understand it. Most of what I had learned about God was from what my parents taught me and from what little time I had spent going to church. Last year my sister of whom I was very close to died. She was a christian and I knew if I ever wanted to be with her again I needed to change my life. I had been having sleep paralysis very bad for two years. God spoke to me the night of her death. He told me the devil was strong but God is stronger. I got up out of bed to search the bible to find out why she had to die. I realized then that I had no idea where to look! I just trusted God to show me the reason why she had to die, so I opened the bible and read the first page that I came to. It was Isaiah 54:4. I knew then that God was taking care of me. My sister’s husband was very abusive to her and I knew this verse was to let me know that she was now being comforted by God in heaven! From that day on I have spent every day reading the bible (seeking God), attending church, and really establishing a relationship with our almight Lord and Savior. At ten years I became justified to go to heaven. When I truly started seeking and trusting God I became sanctified (having the power of the Holy Spirit within me). When you build a personal relationship with Christ then you can overcome any and all things. I learned that the man I was seeing when I would wake at night and could not move was actually Satan. Once I started reading the bible, the sleep paralysis was getting more frequent. Once you give yourself to God, Satan keeps attempting to win you back over. You have power over Satan. Once you equip yourself with the truth (scripture or armour of God), then you have the power to command Satan to flee. Satan attempted two more visits but each time I quoted scripture in my head and he immediately left. It has been months now since I have had sleep paralysis. I am not taking any medication for depression. Jesus promises that if you truly seek him, what you ask will be received. Jesus does not lie. I have finally learned that if you give your life over to Jesus and ask him for guidance, you can overcome all obstacles because he truly can live within us!

Dear Deborah I can relate to some what how you feel this is hard for me.
I was molested by my older brother when I was about 4and 5 years old it went on till I was 9 years old but he did not have sex with me he just made me do things to him.
but when I was 14teen a friend of my brother he raped me and told me if I told he would kill me and my parents and I was so scared and the part that was realy sick it was my birthday I just turned 14teen.
I have been marryed now for 7 years and it still makes me kind of sick to have sex with him and I am a mother now with 3 children.
I have a son he is 16teen and another boy age 5 years and a daughter 2 years.
I just found out my oldest son molested him brother and I just found out my sons birth father did things to my oldest boy my husband is not my 16teen year old sons dad he is the father to my two yonger children.
I had to turn over cosidy of my oldest son to the state because he was out of control and I never new why till now.
I wish I new then beccause he would be in jail right now and now I have to help my yonger son by suporting him and trying to understand how i can help him through this because I know how he feels.
but because all of this happened the state came in and took them both from me because they say it is all my falt I did not protect him from his brother I did not know it was going on.
If I new I would of stoped it and got him removed sooner and got them both help I got my baby boy in counsling and my oldest I got him in counsling to so I hope it will help.
we are in theripy with him to one day every other week to help him cope with this and give him hope and faith that he will be safe and that we can keep him safe from now on and forever till he is adult and on his own.
I know he is still going to need me and his dad and I will be there for him because I love my children with every thing in me and more.
when they were taken and put in foster care in sepered homes I was angry hurt and I felt like I wanted to just die but now we have our visits at home and now we can call them to it is geting a little easeyer.
I will pray for you every single night to help you through your pain and hurt.
parents are suppost to love there children not hurt or cause them pain they are suppost to keep them safe from harm not cause the harm.
I wish I could of been there to stop it from ever happening to you because if I could of as god as my witness honey I would of stoped them but I did not know you and I am only 35years old and I do not even know how old you even are but as a good parent and a loving mom I am if you were my child I would of huged you and gave you a kiss good night and tucked you in to bed sat by you and read or sang you to sleep and said mommy loves you sweetpea good night.
and turned on your baby moniter so I could make sure you really were safe every single night I am really sorry this happened to you it should of not happened.
sorry again sincerly Mrs Tracy Wheeler

I am 24 years old and i have recently got out of the hospital, My husband tried to kill me in Oct. of last year. Only because i filed for a divorce in Aug. When I went to the hospital cocaine and amphetamines came back on a drug screen. When my mom told me that he had went and got custody of the kids I had a seizure! I knew that I hadn’t done any drugs. So once I got out I had a hair test done and it came back clean! My oldest daughter (4) saw him do this to me! Right now I only get to see my two girls 15 hrs. a week. I cry and cry and cry and cry! Why would he treat me like im a big dope head!? But, eventhough i don’t have much failth in the laws around here i have faith in GOD!

Ok, I’m not religious or pray much or believe in prayers. Why do we have to pray to undo something that’s been done to us in the first place? But years ago when I was in a really ugly situation at work, a nurse (I worked at a hospital) told me that she’d prayed for me to St. Michael and assured me that he would help me.
Ever since that day I began to notice the statue of St Michael and one day while visiting a Catholic church in a small village in the mountains in France I was given a card with his prayer in French. I memorized that prayer and now I make sure to say it often. I’m almost sure that St. Michael, who is nothing but the representation of the forces of good, hears me.
“Saint Michel archange defendez nous dans le combat! Soyez notre secours contre la malice et les embuches du demon. Je vous choisis aujourd’hui comme protecteur, et me propose fermemnet de vous honorer toujours.
Grand prince du ciel, repoussez en enfer Satan et les autres esprits mauvais qui rodent pour perdre nos ames et guidez moi vers la paix eternelle. Amen”

Therese:
Thanks for Teresa de Avila’s prayer. It’s incredible that so many times we lose track of simple things, like “Patience obtains everything” and we stop trusting in our nature. Like my prayer to St Michael’s first line “Defend us in our combat” that’s what we do everyday, we wage some kind of small or large war against ourselves, others, or against malice, cruelty, ignorance, etc.
I wish the best to all the suffering souls posting above me. Please don’t dwell in what has happened to you, learn from your troubles no matter how horrific it is to remember them. That you are here and writing about them tells me that you are a survivor, that the injustices and abuses didn’t put an end to you. Keep on keeping on!

Times are definitely not easy…and the devil is trying so hard to distruct those who attempt to come to GOD. For me its very simple.i hope it becomes simple for those who read this.
I have cried so hard to end up feeling im crying my whole being out and that eventualy i wont be. But even through those tears i knew GOD will never let me down.My heart was bleeding and paining but GOD will never let me down. HIS PRESENCE IN MY LIFE IS VERY FIRM. So i welcome all these adversities because GOD is the only and the most powerful .I can overcome anything.The devil is ONLY BUT A COWARD.

I have been struggling with mot only my deprssion, but my faith as well. I do not have a faith faith but I do believe in the bible, That Jesus his only begotten son died for our sins and I do believe in God and Miracoles. The reason why i am struggling is becouse of the crap that has been going on most of it just about all my life a little bit of it this month. Any suggestions on how I can get my full belief in our Heavenly father back?
Sincerly,
Michelle

To Michelle,
All you have to do to get our heavenly father back is ask. Keep reading the bible and ask Jesus to guide you. He will let you know he is there. When you repent it shows God your love.

Keep on trusting and believing God. He loves you and has a plan and purpose for your life. Keep seeking and asking Him – in faith – believing that He is the one who you can turn to anytime of day or night.
I have been through some rough patches, too, and I have found God to be faithful – even when it didn’t feel like it at the time. He has brought friends into my life – to bring hope and healing.
Lisa S

Prayer is a powerful powerful thing that God has given us, it lets us communicate with our creator who knows us better than any one. And when all seems lost He is the only one Who can set things stright. So when my Problems seem to overwhelm me I pray even if it is not long or in depth and it gets me thru whatever it is and although it my not seem that way at the time it gets me to another day and that is a sucess.

Recently, I have experienced a situation that left me really doubting God’s true existence in my life. I recognize it now as an attack on my faith. Yes I am a child of God, I am a beliver of him and I have on countless occasions experienced his wonderful love in my life. I pray without ceasing, yet when I prayed, I questioned whether my prayers were effective enough to get me out of what I was in, because, usually the situation did not change and the pain did not go away. Then I was led to an articule that read, “Dont ask God to change the situation, instead, ask him to strengthen you and uplift you in the midst of it. Ask him to be your comfort and your peace and to fill you with his joy. Ask him to help you understand life’s lesson in your situation and allow it to be an encouragment rather than a burden”. God is faithful to the end, and his presence is always with us to fulfill us and to sustain us, in good times and bad times. He is able to bring us through. We cant loose heart of that fact.

Dear Michelle
Think of Our Lord praying in the Garden .When he saw all the pain and horror before Him He asked His Father to let those trials pass Him by but Only if it be the Father’s will “not my will but thine be done” When you pray for God’s will to be done in you and really mean it suddenly life will seem ,if not perfect at least liveable. I’m 78 and it took me a long time to realize this but I now know that If you truely believe in Him If you ask you shall recieve,according to your need. Maybe not alwasys just what you want but what you need for your our good.
Shirley D.

Sometimes, especially when I am depressed and emotionally ripped up, i feel a disconnect in the sense that I find that I don’t pray each night before I go to bed or when I wake up. However, when my pain overwhelms me, somehow I’m reminded to whisper, “Lord have mercy on me’, Help me, Lord, “I surrender this pain”. Other times I wonder if it makes any sense, especially when I look at the unfairness of it all, of how others take advantage of your kindness, how men especially in my life have humiliated, violated, verbally, mentally and emotionally abused me, and the fact that I really did try to avoid these type of people, even prayed and asked God to keep them away from me, and how i’ve had my heart broken over and over back to back for the last 16 years. My spirit has been broken and I’ve risen like a Phoenix from the ashes each time, r should I say God has picked me up and dusted me off. I know I am stronger after each episode, at the same time, I’m really feeling like a rag doll. I’m tired of all the pain and debasement and disappointment in my life. I believe that God will take these scars of mine and make them stars; I dont know how and when; I find that I am able to give good advice to others who may have been hurt or are hurting, and i hope I can take these pains and really save someone, and probably make a ministry of the chaos out of my life. In the meanwhile, I’m asking everyone out there to pray that I’ll be able to forgive those who have hurt me, that I’ll be able to allow what was meant for harm to become good, and pray for me especially to overcome my struggle with resentment and bitterness.

Depression can be an incredible piece of irony. I have suffered with depression, sometimes severely, most of my adult life. In my older, more recent years, I have prayed for God to remove it (and would still like that, but…). I came to realize He begins my healing processes in all that I struggle with by giving me AWARENESS that I could actually experience His power to take something terrible and use it to lead me to Him. With this, I have been given the gift of slowly healing and in a variety of ways. I now use his works in me as a reminder of the size of His love when ever I get depressed again. I also realized that if he banished my depression all at once, I do not think I would have known how to carry on immediately because certain behaviors and emotions had not yet been developed due to the depression. So, I pray and pray for his will to be done in all areas of my life. The depression never goes away entirely, but, there is something about that black hole that finally has become a REMINDER of His presence instead of a path to darkness or death, and that those are the times I need to call on Him to thank him and to rely on Him again, instead of allowing the scariness of self-pity, panic and loneliness take me over. I still get scared, depressed, tired, disconnected, but I try really hard to always acknowledge God in these moments and remember that He is my Father who will listen whenever I need him. Needless to say, even though I am a shy kind of spirit, the conversations are endless and know I always have a place I can call home in my heart, even when life is unpeaceful.

well dear brother i read your letters and i am happy . i learnd many things happen in my life you must going to do your advice teaching like this

THE FIRST TIME I READ THIS PASSAGE, I WAS IN A DARK PLACE EMOTIONALLY, MENTALLY AND SPIRITUALLY. IT WAS AN EPIPHANY FOR ME AT THAT MOMENT. I FELT ENLIGHTENED BECAUSE I LEARNED THAT GOD HAD EQUIPPED WITH ALL THAT I NEED TO BE HAPPY. REMEMBER THAT GOD LIVES IN YOU. “THEREFORE, I CAN DO EVERYTHING THROUGH HIM WHO GIVES ME STRENGTH.” (Phil 4:13)
Read also (2COR: 9-10)
LIFE
I asked God to take away my pain, God said, No.
It is not for me to take away, but for you to give it up.
I asked God to make my handicapped child whole, God said, No.
Her spirit is whole; her body is only temporary.
I asked God to grant me patience, God said, No.
Patience is a by-product of tribulations; it isn’t granted, it is earned.
I asked God to give me happiness, God said, No.
I give you blessings; happiness is up to you
I asked God to spare me pain, God said, No.
Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares and brings you closer to me.
I asked god to make my spirit grow. God said, No.
You must grow on you own, but I will prune you to make you fruitful.
I asked for all things that I might enjoy life. God said, No.
I will give you life, so that you may enjoy all things.
I asked God to help me LOVE others, as much as He loves me,
God said…. Ahhh, finally you have the idea.
“GREATER IS HE WHO IS IN ME, THAN HE WHO IS IN THE WORLD.”
HE IS WORTHY TO BE PRAISED FOREVER.
Leidiana

I know this will help someone out there living with depression. I was in a bad place emotionally, mentally & spiritually. It was over 10 yrs ago. I read this passage and my whole thought pattern changed. I realized that God had equipped me with His spirit since I am a child of God. Therefore I had the power within to make some real changes in my life. I took responsibilities for making decision which brought me to my chaotic situation at the time. We must learn to tap into that spirit because in spirit there is always courage, thankfulness, forgiveness, faith & hope. Read (2Cor 12:9-10) …God’s power is made perfect in weakness…” also (Phil 4-13) “I can do everything through Him who gives me strength.” Don’t let the enemy rob you of these precious days that God has graciously granted you. Concentrate on what you do have and no that it is what you need.
LIFE
I asked God to take away my pain, God said, No.
It is not for me to take away, but for you to give it up.
I asked God to make my handicapped child whole, God said, No.
Her spirit is whole; her body is only temporary.
I asked God to grant me patience, God said, No.
Patience is a by-product of tribulations; it isn’t granted, it is earned.
I asked God to give me happiness, God said, No.
I give you blessings; happiness is up to you
I asked God to spare me pain, God said, No.
Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares and brings you closer to me.
I asked God to make my spirit grow. God said, No.
You must grow on you own, but I will prune you to make you fruitful.
I asked for all things that I might enjoy life. God said, No.
I will give you life, so that you may enjoy all things.
I asked God to help me LOVE others, as much as He loves me,
God said…. Ahhh, finally you have the idea.

i’m having a very hard time understanding which reality is real. if depression distorts the way we look at god and the way that we feel god looks at us then how can we know what is real? i feel one way when i’m taking antidepressants and another when i’m not. which reality is real? is my natural reality although possibly chemically imbalanced, true reality? i mean god made me who i am and if we did not have antidepressants how would we deal with this? i don’t like living in a deep dark depression but i do not think i like living in a drug-induced alternate reality either. is there anyone out there having the same problem or who understands the thought i am trying to convey? is there any advice anyone can offer me?

Jennifer, you make quite an interesting point. Which reality is real? What IS real? Who can say? we all have different perspectives and blind spots. What I always manage to see, the beggar in the street, the little kid humiliated in public, etc. events or things others never do manage to see. I’ve even been chastised by some for “Focusing on the negatives” instead of not worrying and being happy, as if there’s a choice when you are depressed.
I don’t like medications that distort my view. When I used to drink alcohol, just one glass of wine with dinner, I’d notice a sense of well being that would evaporate as soon as my body metabolized the alcohol. Then the reality or what I perceive as real around me, would hit me on the head and in an ugly way. What was unsightly or sad would become or seem to become more so.
I’ve been told that meds for depression help you from going down hill and not being able to stop yourself. Eventually, and with the help of therapy diet and emotional support, one day we can reach that middle ground without the meds.
Until then don’t fret on what’s real or not, you are real, don’t forget this and you, like most everyone else, is trying to make sense of it all.

So many talk about God’s Love and the power of Satan to distract and tempt, yet they seem to ignore that all the wrongdoings in the world are man made. How can one talk about the Love of God when children are dying of AIDS in Africa while the U.S. is spending billions of dollars a day to wage a war that’s only killing people on every side, orphaning children, killing and maiming them.
If we believe that God is Love then let’s act as God Children and work hard to undo the wrongdoings of government and of hard, horrific, cruel people in power.
It’s very ironic that many here relate their misery and despondency then in the next breath affirm that they trust in God while saying that they’re desperate!
When you trust in God you’re calm and no matter what happens in your life you don’t become desperate. So please stop giving lip service to the Love of God and act up his Love.

I was having a hard time to keep my faith with God and I still have a few
struggles. But, everyday God reminds me and it feels good. But, how do I stay on track when my depression kicks in? I’ve been on drugs for several years and I forgot my belief, faith and reality. I don’t want to make that mistake again. Just remember to keep your faith and beliefs, and pray everyday to remember.

Jennifer (and everyone):
I’ve posted more extensively on other BB threads on some of these topics. Suffice to say there are no easy answers and, frankly, a lot of people on this thread have more faith than I do.
The three books of the Bible I best relate to are Ecclesiastes, Job, and the First Letter of John. (My confirmation name is John, from John the Evangelist; and John would be my favorite Gospel as well.)
In those three books (four if you count John’s Gospel), you have the problem of evil and the solution of love — not as a way to eradicate the evil (which is impossible in this world), but to struggle to overcome it — in a nutshell.

Jennifer…others who have questioned the same,
Hi…a thought…a key thing is remember is that there is a chemical balance is us hindering to way we “see.” Perhaps we don’t see or feel as Good, as Godly when we are not our truest selves, which for us is when we are in a balanced chemical state. I don’t mean simply drugged, just what has been deemed for us as balanced.
We are able to see and feel Hope, and pray based on this living, Christian reality….when we have no Hope, we have no impetus to do anything, let alone pray to a Father we cannot see….hence, we use our Faith, and we pray, FEELING Faith at work, able to recall Miracles we have experienced.
If staying chemically balanced enables us to stay focused on the only reality, not perception, down here, God, then don’t stagmatize their assist in our lives…we are just being shown we, by taking a pill, have a way to experience Joy in Him like others can. It’s not a “battle of Realities”; it’s just balance of The Reality, your relationship with the Father. Enjoy, and be free.

Medications for depression can help us “balance” our brain chemistry, help with anxiety, anger and sadness, but is is not a panacea. We must also work with our minds and spirits. Behavior modification can help with our anxieties, anger and sadness. God can help us modify our belief systems should they be destructive to our well being. I suffer from depression as do most members of my family, (Mom, sister & 2 bros.) We all take some kind of depression medication or another. This is not enough, though. We must also feed the spirit. Belief in God does not stop bad things from happening. It can help us to not do
bad things ourselves, and gives us the sympathy and empathy to Help & understand others who are hurting. As for the war comments stated above, remember, we are fighting a terrible adversary. People who are not afraid to die, and do so by blowing themselves and others up! How do you fight this? Their Muslim beliefs are extreme and they consider anyone who doesn’t share their beliefs the enemy-which is most of the rest of the world. Unless all free nations unite with the United States and Britain in this fight the world as we know it will soon end. I pray to the Lord for the strength of this nation, and to give me the strength and hope to make this world a better place. I pray for Lord Jesus to protect our men and women in the armed forces, to fill them with His grace, mercy and strength. I pray for their families who must sit on pins and needles wondering about the safety of their loved ones each day. I pray for those who have died in battle, that the Lord has welcomed them with open arms and that their families can be comforted in their grief. God is awesome!

I could write so much, but just going to say a little about depression first..there are so many contributing factors in a persons well being. People they are around have a significant impact, good or bad, exercise, diet, and ofcourse meds. People dont always need to be happy, and with sorrow and sadness, joy is even sweeter when it happens… Definitely God hears every prayer, and the person that wrote they didnt understand why so many bad things happen, then someone else commented one of the books of the bible they best relate to was Job. I just read that again, with a good commentary, and it is an awesome book. Main point in it, that we should not question God… also, just from reading the first part of the book is that Satan was going to and fro from one end of the earth to the other…that in itself is very real, and should not be looked at lightly. Prayer is a very important part of our lives and to be able to talk to God, with no intercessor is incredible, any time, any place, as He is omnipresent, and He loves us so much that He came to earth to show us how much and we need to praise Him forever for even being able to have faith at all, and to have a chance at eternal paradise…

I think there’s a prayer shortage in the world today, simply because we want everything immediately, when we have to wait, well, we are’nt the most patient people. Most faithful seem to lose patience after time. {God will reward his faithful servant with the same perserverance and steadfast love his servant has in their heart, not being impatient, but keeping his praise & not giving satan a place to manifest, and keep us from the “Truth”!} Thanx, godbless

I am so sad to read the comments of Vicky Assar who thinks Muslims are so extremist that they think all enemies who dont share the same faith! May i ask what made you think like that George Bush and his theory of attackign all Muslim Nations with mineral resources perhaps!! No majority of Muslilms living in India, Bangladesh, Indonesia, Malaysia .. are nto the least fundamentalist. Thus do not judge things by the foreign policy of America and Britain . Their policy is anti peach itself i need not comment more ..

thanks alot but this whatever it is is what it is . should i be lucky that i’m like this ? should i be lucky to have not found my spiritual thoughts of nothing but shame to hide in a small world!

Meams (Your post 08-23-07). Your experience of, as I understand, having been visited by Satan, had to have been the most terrifying ordeal one could go through. I am curious as to exactly what this encounter was like; did you have a visual image of a man; did you hear a voice; exactly what happened? My prayers are with you, as all as all those who are seeking the Savior, and it is a fact that nothing, no force, no enemy can stand against His power. He is almighty and through the word of Christ, we can stand firm against the enemy. May God be with each of you.

I think when we’re young, we think life will be perfect at some point, but sometimes what we knew slips away and it comes from our own mistakes and misguided decisions. If it weren’t for my faith and prayers, I don’t know how things would be. When I wake up and know I will likely lose all the financial gain from the last 20 years, I think what is good….my daughter, I’m still alive and I stop myself and say, “Lord, just show me the way; you will provide,” and when I do that, the worries slip away. I know his plan is perfect although it is sometimes hard to see.

GIVE ME A REASON TO HOLD ON TO MY FAITH. LAST FEBRUARY, I CAME BACK INTO A RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD AND JESUS. IT LATD FOR SEVERAL MONTHS AND ALTHOUGH I TRIED DILIGENTLY TO HOLD ON TO THIS FAITH, THING AROUND ME, INCLUDING MY FAMILY CONSISTENTLY, CONSISTANTLY STEAL MY JOY AND HOPE FROM ME, AND I GUESS I AM NOT STRONG ENOUGH TO CONTINUE THE FIGHT. I HAVE PRAYED FOR MY SITUATION TO CHANGE AND THE SITUATION IS ONE THAT ANY GOD, IF EXISTS, WOULD CERTAINLY ALTER. I THINK THAT I HAVE BEEN FOOLING MYSELF OR THAT I AM JUST NOT WORTHY OF GOD’S LOVE AND HEALING. GOOD LUCK TO ALL OF YOU IN YOUR SEARCH FOR HAPPINESS.

… all i know is that when i can stay connected to God/Creator/the Spirit of the Universe through prayer, meditation, support groups, contact with others then my life seems to be much better. it’s when i get off that path that the emotional discontent consumes me. maybe that’s the part about taking my will back. i need to daily turn my life and my will over to His care, do the next right thing in front of me, and continue to move forward, even if it’s a very small step at a time. and one of the surest ways to become re-connected to that energy is trhough helping someone else, even if that’s through a phone call. reaching out to help others. maybe that’s something we’re here to do. my 12-step program has taught me this, but it’s only when i’m willing that i’m able. i may not have control over many, many things in my life, but my thoughts are where i tend to live. all we have is this day, today; if i can stay in it, in the moment, stay close to the Spirit, then it’s a good day.

I pray and pray every day sometimes 3 to 4 times a day that God guide my marriage that he will make my husband understand that there are 2 people in a marriage not just one. I pray that he will let my husband understand that there is a way to talk to everyone especially his wife, and that violence is not the answer. Why does God allow my husband to make me feel as low as dirt, but yet still he walks around despite the way he treats me, blessed and not depressed!

My depression came when I was confronted with life changes. I had decided to fight for a second chance at life.
The key ingredients for grasping a second chance in life is how you look at your past and how you see what your life could be.
When I had lost my boyfriend turned fiancée of 10 years it was a very drastic life changing event. He and I had gone through a great deal together. We shared our good times and bad times together. He was my rock, my soul mate and very best friend. When my sister died unexpectedly he was there for me to lean on his strong shoulders. When I had undergone two surgeries my soul mate Tony was there. When I had to take off for family medical leave for my severely disable son Tony was there for me to lean upon. So now my rock is gone. Tony had died in his sleep on April 15, 2006. That was the worst day of my life.
My life had taken a turn for the worst when I no longer had Tony to lean upon. I felt as if my life just kept spiraling down and there was no end in sight for me. I kept asking myself, “How low am I going to go?” I got through this with pray and counseling. I started making baby steps to where I wanted to be in my life. I moved from an apartment building in South St. Louis City, which turned into a haven for crime, to a house in North St. Louis County where my son was able to attend a school in the special school district; which served as a big improvement for him. I had fought to obtain an increase in child support payments for my son and won. I had gotten my daughter back into school and she will graduate January 2008. My daughter plans to attend a community college in our area and for me I started back writing again and hope to soon complete my book about my life as an inspiration to others. No matter how hard things are and no matter where you had come from or had gone through Jesus will be with you every step of the way to make things good again.

Wow, thank you all for your comments, it’s people like you guys that continue giving me hope and strengths. God works in ways unimaginable, I thank Jesus Christ for all that he does and has done in my life. Thank you all and May you all have Peace, Good Health and an Abundant of God’s Blessings to you all and yours in Jesus Christ name, Amen.

Once again Blue comes to me from out of the blue just when I need her. I was sitting at my desk, my usual vampire hour of 4:00 a.m thinking I might better go to bed. It’s lonely here I thought, I feel so lonely, so ……….ALONE, despite my adoring kitten trying to wrap herself somewhere next to me.
I have these times where it seems everyone in my life drops off the face of the earth (NO ONE CALLS OR WRITES)and it never occurs to me that it just might be the time that God is allowing me to realize that HE is here waiting…HELLO!? Remember me lol. Ahhh I tell myself it’s not the same, he can’t bend my ear, touch my hand, kiss me or play a game with me. Oft times I am so depressed I can’t think clearly enough either to get much out of prayer let alone boink myself on the head to notice that I feel empty for a reason…. I get so tired of reaching out for just once I want someone to come running to me, to reach out to me, to need me. Does God need me and if he does how? So many questions and before I can pray them out I am falling into some dream world so I type my prayers out instead..this is a form of prayer in a way. Chatting with all of you, speaking to the Lord at the same time.
Each of us have so many diff things going on in our personal lives mine is a soul-less marriage and severe health problems..PAIN. I wish I could pick a hundred people in here and find a way to reach out to them, to help each other and encourage each other and I often times find someone so relatable I wish I could have their email address but I don’t know if we can share that info here.
It just feels so good to know that I am not alone even if I am physically. The depression issue is a whole other topic for me, I’ve battled it my whole life over 40 years and I don’t know if there truly is a clearing away…if there is I’d like to know the therapist you’ve seen, the methods used and the medication!
One last thing…something I feel God tells me over and over but I don’t listen worth a hoot. The food I eat, we feed our body and brain poisens every day. It contributes to so many dis-eases that medication just might be heavily eliminated if we truly knew how much it plays a role. Sugar uhhhh I know when I eat correcty I feel better in every way shape and form and my fibromyalgia dies down as well. So……why is it so hard to do the right things for ourselves, God gives us the tools!!!! I guess I’ve touched on five topics at once..sorry about that. Lonely little night owl I am….eep.
CAN WE SHARE MYSPACE ACCOUNTS OR EMAILS IN HERE?

I come from a family with hereditary depression. I recall as a child my grandfather struggling with issues and watched my mom search for meaning to life when she felt there was none. I have watched my sister 18 months to my junior struggle with surviving day by day at times. I,too have tried to take my life, only hoping that God would save me – and HE did!
I have a son and daughter that fight negative and harmful self concepts. Unsurmountable??? NO! Difficult at times – YES! Without my faith and the knowledge that I am a child of God, I would literally be dead. Those who do not know or understand the disease of Depression may easily shun it off like a request for a pity party. WE do not hesitate to lend a helping hand to one who suffers a physical affliction that we can see, but choose to ignore the signs of mental health disfunction or disorders.
I encourage people to be aware and listen to others who appear to be struggling with mental health issues, family situations and signs of depression. If you do not know what these signs are, then look it up at the library, on the Internet or from a Mental Health provider. God leads us to others and we need the support of others in not curing, but living with Depression.

Since I was born as far back as I recall, I’ve been depressed. No, I am not bi-polar. I come from very uneducated, cruel parents who never wanted me to begin with, and never failed to let me know. But Always I knew there was a greater power in this world than my parents. Before I even learned about the Lord, I often spoke to God. When I was locked inside the closet, I remember someone or something with me inside the dark space. Friends never came easy, and the fact is, I’ve never had a long time pal. I’ve never been able to connect with people. This world has always felt like a place I do not belong. My parents threw me away when I became a teenager. Foster homes, juvenile hall and prison filled my youth, released at age 22. Somehow, without an education, and unworldly, I made it to adulthood, own my own home, raised one daughter alone, and today I am retired. I thank God everyday for my beautiful home and my daughter and one grandson. But still, I have no friends. Never had friends no matter how nice I was, how giving, or how concerned for others I showed. Without the Lord I think I would have gone insane. In 62 years, no one has truly been my friend, always around solely when they need something. So I figure the Lord has me in a place to help others when they need me. I do not look for friendship as I have the Lord. Yes, it gets lonely at times, but now I have learned to live with myself and the Lord as my best friend. But today I know why I never had friends. The Lord gave me a unique look and men were attracted to my look. But aside from this I was given a strength that often intimidated others and females avoided me due to their own jealousey. I became tired of trying to make friends that did not want my friendship and became a loner in every aspect of my life, but still help others when asked. When I became a loner with only God, and forgot about trying to make friends, my accomplishments became more than I ever thought I could do. Today, I go months without a human conversation or connection with people except casual in the market or somewhere with strangers. Honestly, my only depression comes now when holidays come and family gatherings are around me, my daughter is too busy for me, and I feel insignificant. But then, I know I am not of this world but in this world, words that hold so true of my existance. I know the Lord has carried me for 62 years and will continue to do so until he decides to take me home. But now I am in a time in my life, I really wonder: Okay God, what am I here for now? What is your plan? I am ill, I am not as mobil as I once was, and I do not see where I am doing anyone any good. But there must be a reason I am still here, because the Lord hasn’t taken me home yet. Must be something great coming.

Please say a prayer for my seventeen year old son.Hes step mother kick him out of there home thanksgiving,And I,his mother has no place for him to go.I live with my parents because of loosing my home almost a year ago,Im trying to get back on my feet again.Im a cna at the hostpital in winston salem n.c.And i love my my job in rehab,and i do for others every day,so,I give,and give because its in my heart to give ,but now,all i can do is pray that my son is going to o.k.and that i will have a home for him in the near future.Im scared for him.where he will lay his head down next.I wished my parents would let him stay in there house,but they have no room,so please say plenty of prayers for my son Charlie.
Thank you ,sincerly Lori

Wow!! You really hit home with me.Please pray for me. I need God in my life again..Thanks..Jason

I have a 27 year old daughter who is walking far from the Lord. She is currently in a relationship that is self destrective. Her self esteem is gone. Everyone around her can see what is happening, but hse has no clue or refuses to see. Please pray that she will see the light. She is a Christian and I just want for her to get back ont he path. Thanks

I also have a 26 year old daughter who is walking far from the Lord. I talk to her about God and into praying but she does not believe like I do. When I talk to her about getting close to God in times of trouble she refuses to hear what I have to say to her. I always taught her to pray and to believe in God and all. I don’t know what happened? Please pray for her please.

i have a brother who is now in jail..
please pray for him. sana maayos na papers niya at makalabas na siya today. thanks!

Thank you for your service; my depression is like a roller coaster ride, some days, I’m full of life and feeling like I’m near the end of my financial struggles, but within a week or so, I’m back where I was before, feeling hopeless, and wondering if anything is really going to change. The Lord knows how hard I try to stay a float, but no matter how much I pray for his answer, my dilemna persists.
However, there are good things in the works, as I begin, seeing a counselor which started yesterday at my church. The most difficult part of my life is the “uncertainty of it all” because I don’t know what’s going to happen in the coming months, weeks, or days. It’s almost like being paralyzed because I’m unable to plan ahead. Each day is truly a walk of faith for me. Thank you for your prayers sisters and brothers in Christ. Steve – Tucson, AZ Prayer? 520.661,8289

I also suffer from depression…it’s been two years since my divorce and I’m struggling to keep from losing my home and trying to pay bills…it seems the harder i try to make a living without moving in with the kids the more depressed I get…I was always independant and now I’m scared to death…I pray to god every night to guide me but I find no relief…Please help me with my prayers…Luci..fl

I haven’t been to mass since Christmas and I have no desire to go. I am not praying and I feel like I am so distant from God. I tried talking to the priest about this and all I get is just pray and go to mass. Please pray for me. Thanks

Please keep me in your prayers. I recently broke up from a long term relationship. I know this was coming and is for the best. He is a non christian. But it still hurts. Its difficult to let go and let my heavenly father take it…. I ask for prayer that I trust God totaly and let him have everything that he is in control. I would also like to ask to keep this man “Todd” in your prayers for his salvation.
Steve (Tuscan AZ)
I will ask God to have favor, peace, and joy on you.
Luci (FL) It is scary. I know you have the strength. “I will never leave you or forsake you” (i don’t remeber what verse this is) God is working it out. I will ask God to give you peace.
Theresa Columbus OH

I suffer from depression as well. I recently went through a divorce, but had been separated for almost five years. I made the decision to move back home to be with my family to help me through all of this. I, too, have had wonderful days just to be topped off with horrible days that seem to set me back. I encourage all who are reading these comments to be patient with those who are suffering with depression because it literally feels like you are trying to dig yourself out of a dark hole. Sometimes others do not understand. They look at you and don’t realize the internal struggle, and what may seem so simple and easy is not that easy and simple for those going through depression. Depression does not know race, color, religious beliefs, economic status, or educational backgrounds. It can strike the best of us. I have been held in captivity from depression for about six years. I am slowly improving daily with the help of a counselor who is also my dearest friend. For those who are sufferers of depression, I encourage you to sculpt your life. Everyday that you wake up say a prayer, believe, and write it down. Re-invent yourself. Plan your life all over again, and then do something that will bring you closer to fulfilling your life’s plan. Yes, it can be as simple as making sure you make up your bed, or let’s make it really simple, getting up out of the bed, getting dressed even if you have no place to go, and making an effort to just live and see the beauty which lies beneath something that we may take as being awful or not so beautiful. Some days will be great, and some will not. But continue on the path to betterment, and always know that you are not alone (although it seems like it most of the time) and know that there is something better out there waiting for you.

I am well aware of the effect depression can have on our well-being. Divorced last year (after grueling separation), remarried to wonderful, honest man who prays daily….this last year has been trial after trial for me (even ‘good stress’ needs mending). My 11 year old daughter is coping faster than I am, it seems. Children are so resilient, when they know that they are deeply loved no matter what comes to pass. Something to consider: we are all children of a Loving Father, who encompasses us about when we are afraid by ‘horses and chariots of fire’ (2 Kings 6:16-17)–this is the army of heaven. This is our hope and our strength. We are never alone. Please remember the words of the prophet Elisha, as given to the young man who stood with him while they were surrounded by the Syrian army,
“Fear not: for they that be with us are more than they that be with them.”
Love,
Sandra

I am dealing with a man, Im not depressed. I am frustrated because he is depressed, he says mean and hateful remarks and comments every day and they hurt. ANd it aggitates me, because he doesnt work and I work 2 jobs, he fusses all day every day and something is always wrong with him, Im pregnant and cant afford medical coverage and have been denied from most agencies because I have to much income. So he fusses because I ahvent went to the doctor, But he still isnt working and not really trying. I find myself not always telling the truth to everyone because I am embarrassed because he is so far off the powercurve that I dont want to tell anyone. He is always crying or angry. How am I suppose to keep a relationship health and he refuses to see he has a problem, I have tried to pray it away and it still doesnt get any better. ANd the worst part he calls me fatty and makes funof me when I eat now that I am really starting to show, he says oink oink constantly breaking my spirit about my pregnancy, I was so happy and now he has made me miserable. I have thoughts that UI shouldnt have about my unborn childs life and he is steady pushing me in that direction, Please HELP

I suffer from depression due to my job. I don’t enjoy what I’m doing. I have been interviewing for other jobs but don’t have any luck. Pray for me that I get a job that I will enjoy.

To: Pregnant — I feel bad for you and your situation. My mother tolerated an abusive husband for 12 years. If you know in your heart that he’s not going to change, get out now, don’t wait! He probably showed you his “good side” and then when he felt comfortable around you — you’re now seeing the real person. It’s not good for your child to be born… Sorry, but you’re pregnant and working two jobs and he’s not even working — kick the bum out to the street! If you don’t have self respect and dignity, nobody else will respect you either. You and your unborn child deserve better. Good luck.

To Pregnant: I just realized I wrote something that didn’t come out right — “it’s not good for your child to be born” INTO THAT SITUATION is what I meant! God bless you and I will pray for you. Look for moral support, where you can get it. Anyone who constantly berates, belittles, or otherwise abuses you does not truly love and respect you no matter how much they profess they do. Love yourself more and someone great will come along when it’s the right time. Take care.

Dear Pregnant,
I’m so sorry for your situation! I pray that God gives you the strength and wisdom to take yourself and your child far away from the jerk you’re involved with. Being depressed is painful, but being in pain is no excuse for inflicting pain on others. He may not be as much depressed as he is lazy and cruel! Perhaps a shelter for abused women and children can help you to gain access to medical care, even though you earn too much to get government assistance. You’ll need help getting good care for your baby after it’s here and you’re able to go back to work, too. Do you have any family you can turn to? Friends? Whatever else happens, you must put distance between you and this man before your baby is here and he starts to verbally and emotionally abuse him/her. You don’t mention any physical abuse, but that will probably be next. Don’t wait for it to happen before you leave.
God bless you and your baby.

i was with a man that did those same things to me. it didn’t get better until i left. i am still living in my family’s basement with my children. i dealt with this for three and a half years. i tried working things out with him many times and even though he said that things changed as soon as i spent any time with him the same old things would start to happen with name calling and yelling and blaming and sometimes hitting. i have found that i have to love him from a distance and continue to pray for him constantly. i don’t know what God’s plans for us are but for myself and my kids we need the space from the abuse. we are all happy even though we struggle to stay afloat.

Word of caution: respect yourself.
All deserves kindness, respect, love, joy, etc.
Do not put up with abuse. One who does not show responsibility toward an unborn child, is not respectful of creation.
Learn to love yourself. Become God centered and ask for help to overcome the dysfunction in your life.
When we have God as our priority then life becomes full and exciting.
Being with a selfish person is punishment.
………………………..JOY comes when we put Jesus first in life.
Do good, be strong, seek help.
Respond in love not angry and hatred. Treat yourself well and others will treat you well. Do not put up with abuse of any kind.

Hey, pregnant…hang in there. Life does get better, and with the help of the Lord and a church family, you will make it through. I was the youngest of a family of girls, the eldest of which had Down’s syndrome. I saw the abuse coming down the line one by one, knowing I would be next – and ALONE with her and my eldest sister when my sisters went to college and moved out. My mom was abused terribly as a child – dropping out of school in the fifth grade to help support her family by working in the hot cotton fields for hours on end and pulled around by her red long hair pony tail, my dad was abused horrifically by his father, so he became an “absent” father, focusing on work (he was a union electrician – self taught). He worked as many OT hours he could, on Saturdays, and then when he did get a day off, he would go fishing or hunting, to stay away from all the chaos in the house. I realize he was getting food for the family, but we never got his sensibility or practicality or intelligence. He was a quiet man, and never beat on us because he was raised that way. Therefore, my mother had full reign over 4 girls (my dad was partially mad at me and the next eldest for not being boys, but I was a tomboy, which helped him outside all the time…), and she had mental problems trying to cope with all the anger, resentment, and overload of takng care of 4 youngsters, one with a disability: from doing all the continuous laundry, all the many dishes from a family of 6 (by hand mind you), ironing (dad expected it done right), cooking, yard work (which I mainly did because the other girls were too prim and proper to do it…), and she ruled the roost dramatically and sternly. I saw the abuse coming down the line, so I did the best I could to do exactly as she wanted, be on time and never late so I wouldn’t get greeted at the back door and beat up by her, called her and let her know if I was running late or wanted to go to a friend’s house, etc. If we did not follow her very detailed instructions by her liking (such as scrubbing the hard word floors on our hands and knees – and there were mops at this time – they weren’t good enough for her – floors had to be cleaned and scrubbed thoroughly), then she would inspect, yell and beat us up until we got swollen eyes and marks on us and bruises (of course, where no one else could see them – we were forced to go to church and she didn’t want them in sight…) for our lack of respect of her orders and not doing it the way she would have it done. I DID do it exactly as she said, and I still got in trouble, because I know what had happened to my elder sisters… I had a boyfriend she hated – hated her mom – called her all kinds of names, and never nice ones – so I broke up with the guy a couple of years later, tired of the degradingness of the relationship she was giving me. Then I got in trouble because I was told I “couldn’t hang on to a man”. I thought she didn’t like him, so why would she even say that? I did my very best to do what she said, and still, seeing my sisters get in trouble, knowing full well it was coming down the line, I did exactly everything she wanted, or at least tried my very best to be a good “soldier” for her. I still never made muster to her. Dad was always gone – if not working, then he was fishing, hunting, working on the vehicles, working on something that needed to be fixed for us or for money for someone else (he was an excellent handy man – could tear apart anything and figure it out), but he never spent any time inside unless most of us were gone – out to band, tap dance lessons, movies, out riding around, at school activities, etc. And MOM was always the one to take us and pick us up. So prayer was the only avenue I had to keep my senses about me. Dad was an “absent father” and left everything for mom to cover. Emotionally, she couldn’t handle it, and that’s what I contribute her outbursts of rantings and ravings and beatings – to get out her anger and resentment. They had no drugs in that day like they do now that were prescribed – you just dealt with it. I learned from my relationship with the Lord that I had to use her as a bad example of how to raise a family. Therefore, I am very open with my children, show them how much I love them and cherish them, and how proud I am of them. None of us in my family growing up ever got that kind of approval.
I have forgiven her, but I haven’t forgotten. I still love my mom – she’s all I have left. Dad died of Leukemia a couple of years back, and I realized when I went to see him, we really had nothing to talk about, so I started taking my kids and they started talking with grandpa and telling him stories of what our family does. He loved it, and finally told me he tried to be the best father he could be and tried to be fair to us girls. I just wanted him to die happy, so I said, “Dad, you’re the best dad I ever had.” Then I paused, and to make him laugh, I said, “But then, you’re the ONLY dad I’ve ever had!” And he looked at me with his squinty eyes when he smiled and laughed… I think he regreted a lot, and was trying to confess his downfalls, but I told him to forget it basically with my humor. Just forget about how you lived you life when you are ready to die – I didn’t want him to die knowing he had failed me. No one should have to die that way… And I still visit my mom, and I do many, many things for her because my sisters won’t – they still haven’t forgiven her and hold a grudge against her. They talk to her harshly, tell her she had body odor and the bathroom smells like urine and the house is filthy. Well, dang it – she’s 88 year old with heart and lung problems – what do they expect? She has careproviders when she needs them, and they do what SHE says because SHE is the one who pays them. I walk in and just ask what she needs done, and go to work for her. And I hug her and kiss her before I leave – she may not be there tomorrow for me to tell her I love her – for she did the best SHE knew how knowing how she was raised. And she’s never been used to saying “I love you”, but since I have said it so much now and hugged almost everyone I see telling them that since I was in a coma for 3 days and almost died from 5 infections, I now have a different lookout on life and my childhood. So what – my parents did the best they knew how based on their childhoods and what they knew.
So grab onto the Lord and find a church and talk with the church people and you will get guidance and care. The Lord has not forsaken you – you have to let Him know what you need and be specific. It may not be nor you may not get the answer YOU want, but He will take care of you, more than you know. Good luck.

My husband and I have been living apart since this past Feb. For the past 2 years, I’ve been struggling to keep us afloat while he became more verbally abusive toward me. He began to isolate himself from people. Refused to work, and manipulate and attempt to control me on a daily basis. He was,(and still is)full of anger and hostility. All of his problems are everyone else’s fault, but his own. I had enough and moved out temporarily, until he left the state. Now I’m back in my own home and want a divorce from him. I’ve prayed everyday for our marriage, but I can’t hold it together alone. I’ve tried everything to work things out, he just kept spiraling downward. I pray now for God’s will in my life to be done. I still pray for my husband. Even though I know we can’t stay married, because it’s not the best thing for me, I still want him to be happy. I just believe we’d be happier apart from each other.

Take heart. Lots of people suffer from such serious depression, concentration is nearly impossible. I’m one. It’s been a problem since childhood. I’m 60 now. If I pray to myself, I never finish because of distractions. If I pray aloud, I can, but I feel like a fool praying out loud living alone. Going to therapy helps. One thing that helped me was a friend gave me a text from Psalm 139. One of the verses says God has made us in a fearful and wonderful way. That means none of us is useless. I tell myself that over and over when I feel worthless. Sometimes it helps. Sometimes not, but I cling to it and sometimes, that’s the only thing that keeps me going. Go for professional help. Sometimes clinical depression can be treated with drug therapy. It never helped me, but if yours is caused by a chemical imbalance, it will. I pray for you that you can keep going. If it ever comes down to choosing life over death, always choose life, no matter how bleak it may appear. A therapist once told me you always have the option to choose death, but be assured, if you choose that option, it’s the last option you’ll ever make. Hold on to life. Things can change and do. God bless you and keep you safe.

Hello Pregnant,
I just wanted to say that after reading your post, that you should leave this man. All he will do is make you more depressed and when the baby comes, probably make him/her feel depressed also. You are the company you keep, and that is a true statement if there ever was one. You need to put yourself around positive people that are good influences in your life. It is amazing how much the people that are good rub off on you. This guy sounds like he’s helpless and hopeless. He doesn’t work, he continues to say negative things to you, and he doesn’t seem to care about you as a person. Now you’re pregnant, I’m assuming with his child? You don’t want your child to be raised in a negative environment with constant negativity in his/her life. You’re an adult, and you hate the way he’s making you feel, so how do you think a child is going to react to that environment. I would leave him, and tell him to get some professional help. You need to tell yourself that you don’t deserve that treatment, and not stand for it and mean it when you say it. I lived with an alcoholic for 20 years and it ate me up everyday, then when I finally couldn’t take it anymore, I decided I was strong enough to leave him, and I told him, either get help now or I’m leaving you, and I MEANT it, he got help and has been sober for 4 years now. We just celebrated our 26 anniversary, and honestly, I think I finally loved myself enough that I knew I didn’t need him in my life, and that is what you need to do for yourself and for your baby. Be the strong adult for your child and get yourself out of there, unless you can convince him to get some help for himself! You or your baby don’t deserve it! Love yourself first, and everything else will fall in to place!

For your child’s sake, please save yourself. I came from a dysfunctional family and even though I thought I’d never do it, I ended up marrying a man just like my dad. We have one child together, and he’s 20 now with the same problems as his dad. Nothing ever got any better, nothing ever changed by staying; things just got worse because now my husband had two people to abuse. I look back now, and hate myself for not getting out. Could I have saved my son if I left? I really believe now that anything would have been better and it’s my fault for allowing this chain of events to continue. God was there, I just didn’t listen. I won’t have to worry about it going on any further, I won’t ever have any grandchildren, my son is locked up forever because his hate consumed him and I couldn’t save him. I thought I was being stoic, but no, I was just stupid. Listen to what God is saying to you. You don’t have those feelings for nothing, listen to what He’s telling your heart, I just wish he would give me another chance.

Hello to anyone who is depressed or deals with anxiety or just down right outrageous thoughts. I encourage you because I have been there and fighting. Keep pulling down everythought that rises up against the knowledge of Christ dont just say in your head confess out loud it doesnt matter how loud you are because remember people dont know what you are fighting so go ahead and speak. I would encourage you to get Dr. Cindy Trimm book call Command Your Morning and do confession in the morning or at night. Just speak no matter how you feel even if your mind says it not working God doesnt hear just speak what the Lord says. Keep rebukeing that depression, oppression, heaviness. In the name of Jesus. Ask the Holy Spirit to come into every fiber of your being and live His life thru you. Keep doing. If you cry so be it and keep claiming the Word of God over your life. The devil does not want you to win at all. So keep pressing but keep getting up. Press and get back. God is going to answer your prayers but you speak no matter what the odds are. You will not have depression all your life

I am very frustrated by the fact that the bad guys seem to keep winning! I am in the middle of a good versus evil battle right now and I’m getting war-weary. I see a lazy, lying, no-good waste of oxygen living it up with ill-gotten gains and good people and innocent creatures are suffering at the hands of this person! It’s also a legal minefield and the lawyers are going at it too. I know proverbs 20:22 says “Say not thou, I will recompense evil; but wait on the Lord, and He shall save thee.” but boy is it ever hard to patient on that one! As well as Proverbs 21:6 “The getting of treasures by a lying tongue is a vanity tossed to and fro of them that seek death.” Okay so maybe I’ll just keep reading the bible…it helps.

Therese,
I just wanted to let you know that I’m praying for you, that our Lord will pour out His blessings on you and give you fresh anointing every day to continue the ministry you’ve begun. I have been blessed by your online contributions and those of your readers. I am diagnosed with bipolar disorder, Post traumatic stress disorder, panic disorder and borderline personality as well as fibromyalgia and several other physiological problems. I rebuke them all and claim that by His stripes I am healed. I deal with each day as it comes, calling any symptoms of the day ”challenges” god is love (1john 4:6,8) and love is patient, kind, humble, meek, forgiving, hopeful, enduring and unfailing. Therefore, like the song says..when peace like a river attendeth my soul; when sorrows like sea billows roll, whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say; ”it is well…it is well…with my soul.” I won’t lie and say that I am happy 100 percent of the time, but with the Lord’s help and diligent communion with my Savior, I have not had a bout of depression in months. I continue to take my medicine because I’ve learned the perils of discontinuing them and faith without works is dead, but I want to let your readers know that there IS life after deep, dark depression. There is even joy, great joy for those who sometimes/often suffer from depression. If I can ever do anything to comfort or encourage someone dealing with depression, please let me know. My email address is cathiloveinlife@yahoo.com You are a blessing and I will continue to pray for you.
In Christ, For Christ and like Christ,
I love you,
Cathi Robertson
healed by his stripes, in spite of the pain

To anyone and everyone that is going through abuse if it’s either mental or physical, I feel praying does help, but God also gives us our free will. Bottom line is we have a choice, we have to make the change. We can ask for streghth and believe me he does help you when you pray from your whole being. Give yourself completly to him, that’s what he wants from us and ask for streghth and it will come. You will be stronger than what you ever thought you could ever be. It’s you that has to make the change. I went through more than any one person should ever have to and I have some stories I LOVE telling people and the stories put tears in your eyes all because I got down on my knees and asked God for the streghth I needed. Also there is allot of people to help out there, don’t be afraid to contact them, it’s awsome what’s available for help. I am now a volinteer at the local shelter and it’s very sad at times but when you see a women that has been told for so long she’s no good start believing in her self it’s remarkable.God loves us and wants us to be treated good.

I find myself more depresss during to deal with others problem like my family and i am dealing with my own issue as being a cancer surviver

I was just thinking today that I’d really like to start my own blog to help others and more selfishly to help heal myself. I am the poster child for depression/addiction and difficulties praying. My using creates huge amounts of guilt because I have faith and believe. It makes me feel like a hypocrite, praying while carrying the onus of that guilt. I know that it is “wrong” to only pray when you’re in trouble or in need and I do try to give thanks and remain humble. It is only through the grace of God that I am where I am. There is hope. I will share this one moment with you all…I was using I/V and at the end of a two day cocaine binge. I took a shot and it caused my body to go into involuntary spasms. From the neck down I could not control my legs or arms. My brain and mind were functioning but my limbs wouldn’t respond. I sent messages to my body, “Stop shaking” and yet I couldn’t control or stop it. Suddenly the thought that I was having or about to have a heart attack dawned on me. I thought to cry out to God and just as suddenly thought how hypocritcal it would be, and violent shake after the next I prayed, “Lord, just make this stop, let me get through this and I’ll never use again!” It is to this day one my most shameful prayers and testaments to the insanity of drugs and the human mind. My soul wanted there to be a happy ending and to keep that vow. The reality is that the shakes stopped, and I didn’t. I kept on til the last of the powder was gone. I don’t know if apologizing to God is appropriate or even necessary, but, “God, in my heart lies prayers to you in good times and bad, and I apologize for all the vows i’ve left unkept. I will be mindful that I tend to reach out when in need and will strive to give voice to my heart and soul’s prayers of thanks and grattitude more often.” Thanks for taking the time to listen.
Yours,
JR

I am not depressed or I am. I take antidepressants and I just feel like God failed me in making a decision that affected my financial future and love life.
I started not to even taken communion Sunday or go to the altar to pray but I said I was not going to let the devil rejoice in me not giving thanks but I am hurting inside.
I met a wonderful man who we prayed together and actually I grew more in my faith as he ministered to my spirit. It was a very long courtship with him being a wonderful person in the lord. I fully trusted him and had my church praying for his personal tradgeies in his family all the time. Each time I helped him with a financial tradgey I prayed about it. I listened to him pray and comforted him in prayer and was supportive. This gentleman had to get his mother a transplant and many other emergencies that were unsuspected. He promised to return all money and was admant about together as a couple.
He wanted his family to be with me and life was great. As of today he is missing and no one knows his whereabouts.
I asked God why did you bring this man into my life and then have him destroy me finacial and spiritually. Whatever I thought of a praying man I no longer think it an dbecause he was everything I prayed before it hurst moer than anyone can imagine. Plus I ahve to get a loan to pay back everyone I borrowed from to help him. Its been a depressing long sad situation.
So, yes its hard for me to pray and yes I wonder if God loves me why am I constantly not being allowed the joys of life. I try to act like a Christian an dask for forgiveness and try not to repeat the behavior but bad things just keep on happening in my life.

Hello! I have been very depressed lately; i have developed the common eye floater problem in my eye after having eye surgery and laser treatment. This has ben upsetting and have been living reclusive afraid to go anywhere. This has been tough; i do go to church but i see the bugs and strings and get depressed even in church; i know this is a common problem but i believe in healing for everyone going through this. Need everyone’s prayers. I know this is not as serious as cancer but i am frustrated with seeing all the visuals going on in my eyesight. Thank you for your prayers. Godbless your ministry

I relate to the person who said that everything just keeps happening in their life and its hard to keep the faith. But what else can you do. I sure feel alot better with Jesus than I do without him. The pain may not go completely away, but it sure lessens it and hurts alot less. I have been through everything from sexual, physical, mental abuse, serious injury, constant sickness, mental illness, domestic violence, and a kidney transplant. If it weren’t for my faith in Jesus, I would be lost. Sometimes prayers go unanswered for a reason; there may be something better waiting around the corner. He has a plan for everything, remember that and release yourself to Him. Let Go and Let God. Also sometimes sickness and other trials and tribulations are tests of our faith. They also give us strength and teach us perseverence and toughen us up to make us ready for anything. Read the Bible, its all in there. God Bless.

Sure Jesus loves us all and you only have to ask for forgiveness once of that particular sin and he will, he faithful and just to forgive us each and every sin we ask forgiveness of. We are the only one who remembers are sins everyone else might,including the devil, but God doesnt, it is one of his promises to us. If you think bad things always happens to you, then, they will…. Start thinking about the good things, talk yourself up, if God before you, who can be against you…. Hang in there….. But, think positive!

I get depressed all the time too, mostly not being able to pay bills. I am a single parent of two handsome boys that are healthy and healthy with Jesus, and both are saved as well as me. I was in a car wreck that I had injuries that will affect me for a long time. The wreck was caused by someone else, did receive pain and suffering from the other party that was at fault, I have good days and bad days. I went to college for nursing and finished school have certifications, made A’s in clinicals, and it has been 1.5 years since finished school. I am currently still working in retail two jobs part time to try to work full time. I have had help in the past with my parents. But now they are not able to do so. I prey everyday that God ( Jesus) will help me to find that perfect job for which I went to school for, I know soon he will guide me, but until then I am tring my best to provide for me aand my kids. Their is days that go by where i just want to give up, but I cannot because then where would my kids be. Their father owes them 18,000.00 in child support he has no home, no vehicle but he allowed it to himself, he lived with his mom for a short time and got a little job then he went to the casinos and lost his money again. So why I mentioned this is so you can see me as a single parent tring to do the best I can. I can not give up and will not Jesus is beside me and I prey for their father to get help or to grow up and be responsible. I also prey for others because Jesus really already knows what I need. I also still prey for me to get out of this again, and to be able to pay bills and get caught up with alot I cannot pay. I prey for all the stories I have read and please add me to your prayer list. God Bless you all.
Jesus be with us all.

I fully understand where all of you are coming from. I to have long battled depression, wrong turns (paths)due to stupidity, endure the wrath of the devil more than once. God is the number one thing that keeps me going. My husband and I call every hurdle (bad thing) “FAITH BUILDERS”. It seems that when you start to loose site on the real reason you are here bad things happen. We were made by him for him. So when you are doing his work things seem to go okay. But when you stray he has to BUILD that FAITH by road blocking you, to put you back into check. I am not saying I don’t stray, believe me I do more than not, I am human after all!!! Keep your eyes to the skies. That’s where you will find peace and joy (IN THE LORD). GOD BLESS!!!!!!!

To RDb,
Why don’t you look into one of the VA’s telenurse jobs where you have to answer questions and be encouraging but it isn’t physical. Your faith will help you.

i don’t know where to start b/c my perception of myself and abilities have been so low all my life. all my life i have known that i had a hard time either rememebering, retaining and sometime comprehending whether reading or listening. i recvd a degree in elem. teaching, but knew that wasn’t what i wanted to do. Within time i realized it was a horrible mistake. One, b/c i was ADD adult, which at that time, there wasn’t study on that. Everything i wanted to attempt, i didn’t b/c i couldn’t remember or retain like a should. so, there went what little self-esteem i had. i worked in retail or some sales, but never made good money. So, having a close relationship w/ my kids and having a successful marriage as a wife meant the world to me. Both of my boys, one for sure ADD along w/ myself is very smart but has Ld similar to some of my problems. he is now 26,possibly an alcoholic, hereditary, has sabatouged himself countless times. he is going no where. Although i’ve helped him more that I should have, I guess i tried to be mom and dad. and our relationship is disasterous. he works for his father in a successful BBQ restaurant. b/c of Brooks’ wrong decision making and his father’s lack of fatherly advice (until he gets into trouble),i know he fights depression. i’ve tried everythin to help him, but his life just can’t seem to pull up. his father and i have been divorced for over 22 years, and his father, cares to talk to me about Brooks. “it’s basically my fault for enabling him”. Yet, my son wants his father’s approval so bad. so there’s one disaster i feel as a mother. My other is 17 and doesn’t feel he is college suitable, which i know he wishes, but won’t put the work into it. one LD he has is language comprehension. we’ve spent $1,000 in tutoring and he does ok for awhile then when he faulters, it’s everyone’s fault but his. B/c I want him to try hard and make an effort (which his father has a laxed attitude on whatever his son does. meaning no future thoughts, goals or very little consequences)our relationship is rocky. I loved my parents, but had quite a dysfunctional home. so i realize that i really didn’t come equipped w/ knowing what was normal. now after almost 20 years, my 2nd husband has asked me for a divorce telling me he wasn’t sure he loved me as much as he should have and he “tried” (his way, whatever that was) to stay in the marriage b/c of our son. the only reason we’re not divorced is he can’t afford a lawyer, WHICH IF HE COULD, I WOULD CONTEST FOR 18 MORE MONTHS SO I COULD HAVE TIME TO FIGURE FINANCIAL THINGS OUT AND STAY ON HIS INSURANCE. The reasoning behind this is b/c i was diagnosed with parkinson’s 6 years ago..I have been home for over 14 years,coping with not only my problems but additional family problems. i put “my best” in trying to make a normal life and raise respectful kids, only to see everything that was important to me has failed for some reason or another. i am a christian; always has been. i have not always “lived” that way, but have strengthened my faith and worked hard on becoming a better christian thru the years. Yes i pray, but i guess i’m praying for the wrong things and not letting go. i fight depression and w/ PD it’s not getting better. And yes, i am constantly assessing my medication with a doctor. My current husband may not have been my soul mate, but i wanted my marriage to work. After 1 1/2 years thru not giving up thru counseling and support of friends, i realize that my husband truly doesn’t want this marriage,(which he told me this will be 2 years in Nov). He moved out in this last Jan. I miss the companionship regardless of our marriage being weak. i try to get involved, but it’s not the same. another family has been split. So, i hurt in all ways. i don’t have a career, (although i do have some inheritance that will help some financially. I don’t know how to help me feel better “about me” b/c of the “brain thing”. i know i will never know, now at 55, why it’s hard for me to learn. but it’s so unacceptable to me b/c in my mind i never could support myself in case of circumstances like these. and that was why my father wanted me to get a degree so i could take care of myself. i do, to a degree, feel like a failure and i don’t know what God wants me to do. i pray and ask and pray and ask. i do ask for guidance and wisdom for my sons b/c i know that’s all any mother wants, along w/hoping they’ll put God into their lives. Neither father was much of a example of a Christian-based father. not that they are bad men, but they didn’t use God to direct them. i did, and still do, and continuosly feel that i’m getting no where. i’m so disappointed w/ my life and yet i know many more have much more and worse problems than me. what do i ask of God? strength not to ask for the things i’ve been praying for and just let go of everything. i just know that if i could feel positive about one thing in my life, i would feel somewhat better. sorry i’m long-winded.I just wish God could give me something positive to hold onto and i guess that’s wrong to ask.
susan from arkansas

Dear Therese and other beyond blue believers,
I am always uplifted when I read the blogs, videos and comments from people just like me. One things I’ve found which has been working very well for me, is to speak Scripture into life..such as stating “by His stripes I am healed” over and over, as well as others
Jesus will never leave me nor forsake me
God will provide all of my needs according to His riches in Christ Jesus
Greater is He who is in me than he who is in the world
Jesus came that I might have life and have it more abundantly
I am a child of the Living God and He loves me just as I am and meets me right where I am
…God is love (1jhn4:6,8)
God has given me authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy.
I thank God over and over and over, trying to remain in a state of prayer without ceasing, especially when I feel myself moving into that downward spiral we all know too well.
You are not alone, You will be ok, All will be well
My God shall cause ALL things to work together for good to those who love the Lord and are called according to His purpose
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and LEAN NOT ON YOUR OWN understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your path.
God bless each of you and may He surround you with that special peace which surpasses all understanding.
Am I fine every day? No way. Am I getting better, you BET!
love, love , love, love, love, love,
Cathi Robertson

Dear Therese,
I continue to be blessed by your posts, comments from readers and other resources. I have found that speaking the Word to life has helped me tremendously with my mental disorders. We truly do battle against powers, principalities and every wile of the evil one.
These are a few of my fave scriptures, and a few other scripturally sound affirmations, they may not be verbatim because I’m typing this from the top of my heart/head and I just tried to post and it didn’t work. I hope this one does
I can do all things through Christ Who strengthens me
Jesus will never leave me or forsake me
I have been fully justified and made whole by the blood of Christ
Greater is He who is in me (Jesus) than he who is in the world (Satan)
My God will supply all my needs according to His riches in Christ, Jesus
Do not worry about tommorrow, what you shall eat or wear, God feeds the birds and dresses the flowers, how much more shall He care for me?
By His stripes I am healed (I say this one over and over and over)
God has given me authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy, nothing can harm me, nothing can harm me (when God says something twice, it’s a good idea to listen:)
Jesus came that I might have life and have it more abundantly
My feelings are NOT the boss of me, my actions and my faith ARE
If God be for me, who can be against me?
Great tribulation brings great revelation
There’s no testimony without a test.
Everything will be ok.
Everything IS ok.
God always keeps His promises.
God is Love (1Jhn4:6,8) my favorite scripture
The definition of Love as GOD defines it:
Love is patient, love is kind, love is humble, love does not parade itself, love is not puffed up, love hopes all things, love ENDURES all things and LOVE NEVER FAILS.
Love is the fulfillment of every law
I choose this day to serve the Lord, as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.
I am a child of the living God, made heir by the blood of Christ, Jesus
Love one another AS YOU LOVE YOURSELF (pray that you will grow each day to love yourself more)
pray without ceasing
You don’t have to be on your knees or alone in your closet to communicate with God, you can talk to Him anytime anywhere. There’s something special about the quiet place and personal communion with God, but don’t make prayer so formal that you neglect to talk to God throughout the day.
God wants me to feel joy
The joy of the Lord is my strength
I am getting better
Life is going to get better
Life is getting better
I will choose Christ, I will choose love, I choose to serve
I give my heart, I give my mind, I give my all to Jesus (adapted from a song)
He loves you SO much, Satan is the father of deception. He’s a liar and his nickname is doo doo, rebuke him as you’ve been instructed. If you command him to leave your mind, heart, family, home, whatever, whereever, IN FAITH and IN THE NAME OF JESUS …. HE MUST FLEE
Stand on the promises of God, He will pull you through anything; as long as you can stand the pull..and you can.
Am I ”happy” all the time, no way. Do I suffer less because of my faith and study/speaking of the Scriptures..YOU BET!
Jesus loves you and so do I.
Cathi Robertson
http://www.myspace.com/anita_blunnte

Dear Susan, who posted such a heart wretching tale. I think some of us aren’t meant to just do one talent. There seems to be such a longing and searching in your soul and you have to continue that no matter how bad you get mentally or physcially. The reason I know is because, like you, I have had a rough battle through life. Of course both of us being in the south doesn’t help because I think sometimes there is more pressure on women down here to please everyone else instead of ourselves. My son is in prison and it’s not my fault. When they reach a certain age they do what and when they want. I reared a daughter the same way and she’s in enginneering school, go figure!
You just take care of you awhile. You should keep a journal of prayer and one of just gratitude. Write 5 things you are grateful for each day. Then take yourself to the nearest pool and take a water aerobic class. They have them in Yoga also. If you can’t find one wade in the creek. I promise you’ll feel better.
I wish you peace and love. Diane

I was amazed when I saw this article, because over the last six months to a year, right in the middle of prayer, my mind drifts to other thoughts, and I often forget what I am praying for. This frustrates me very much, and I feel if I am cheating God, because my thoughts seem to drift in prayer and in my professional life, and this has caused me problems in relationships as well. For about 30 years of my 38 years of life on this earth, I have felt like my life is just a circle, despite having a master’s degree and my achievement of many other goals in my life. I have a good job with the federal government and I am also a published author with a nice legion of fans, but most people don’t understand the turmoil that I endure on a daily basis. I have been a Christian since I was seven, but I have made my mistakes. I feel that my problems with depression and anxiety started from the first time that I was raped at age 8 by one of my female cousins. Before my mother and father found out, I’m sure that I was close to driving them crazy because of my erratic behavior. When I did tell them, both of them were very hurt and distraught, but offered an array of support which helped me tremendously. I have been in counseling for over ten years and this treatment process along with the medications have been a big help in me being able to maintain my well being. In addition to depression and anxiety, I suffer from post traumatic stress disorder as a result of the rapes, and incidents that happened to me during the first Gulf War. The dreams, waking up in the middle of the night and other transgressions have made life almost not worth living. I have tried to get one good cry out of this, but I can’t even cry as much as I would like to get this stress out of my life. Depression has taken a physical toll on me as well, but I am a fighter, and if I didn’t continuously have faith in God, I am sure that I would have committed suicide a long time ago. Depression,cost me my marriage to a very good woman, because of my behavior, and my ex wife told one of my doctors that she was afraid because I would act out in my sleep and that I once choked her in her sleep. I was very hurt when I read those reports, because she didn’t tell me. It didn’t help the situation that I committed adultry very early in my marriage, and to this day, I don’t know why. She never knew, and I asked God for forgiveness, but I wonder if I was wrong for not telling her. Despite all, my faith in God, and my two beautiful daughters prevent me from doing this. I know that they need me, and most importantly this is the work of the Devil. I really hate him, but I am going to stand up and carry on and fight him. I feel that I had to share this with. I pray that all of us that are posting blogs on here, will pray for one another and our challenges, to get through these tough times. God will not place more on us than we can endure, but we have to learn to let him take over. I know it is easier said than done, but we have to carry on.
Marc

I just finished reading the few articles of trials and tribulations that others such as myself are going through. I too suffer from depression along with having a short term memory. I constantly repent and pray for God’s forgiveness. I feel that we all as a human people must realize that I feel that’s whats life is about. Alot of trial and tribulations, however God is a forgiving, loving and most highly devoted God. He knows each of us better than we know ourselves. He knows what we are going to do before we even consider doing it. However, although, He knows these things, He gives us the choice to make, whether it be rtight or wrong. I feel that this is God’s way of seeing how well we are progtressing in our faith and belief in Him.So in conclusion I would just like to add, just keep the faith and TRY not to make the same mistakes over and over again. Keep believing in God and in yourself and God will make everything okay for you.
God Bless Each and Everyone!

Thank you all for your encouraging words and thoughts. It was exactly what I needed to hear today. I am an unemployed teacher. All I want to do is teach. I keep asking God for his will, not mine. I’ve spent the last few years training and learning how to be a teacher (not to mention lots of money). I know God wants me to be joyful but frankly, it’s difficult to be joyful when I can’t support myself doing what I love to do. This is all about faith and I know this but sometimes it is hard to overcome feelings of fear of what the future holds. I know that God is in charge, I know that God is all powerful, I know that God is leading me if I let him. Thanks for listening . . . Ruth

I HAVE FOUND SUCH COMFORT IN ALL YOUR STORIES.WHEN YOU FEEL BAD YOU THINK YOUR ALONE BUT YOUR NOT.THE HAND OF GOD IS ABOVE ALL AND HE IS ALWAYS NEAR.MY LIFE IS SO SAD AND BAD RIGHT NOW I FEEL THE WILL TO KEEP GOING HARD,BUT THE GIFT OF LIFE IS SO PRECIOUS YOU OWE IT TO GOD TO KEEP TRYING .MY MAM USED TO SAY ANY DAY YOUR ABOVE GROUND IS A GOOD DAY AND SHE WAS RIGHT.EVEN ON MY DARKEST DAYS I FIND COMFORT IN THE LIGHT OF DAY AND THANK GOD FOR IT.MAM USED TO SAY THIS AS WELL THAT NOTHING LASTS FOREVER AND THIS TOO WILL PASS.I TELL MYSELF THIS WHEN THE HURT AND PAIN GTAKES OVER.ALL HER LIFE SHE TRUSTED IN GOD AND HIS BLESSED MOTHER AND SHE SAID O MOST SACRED HEART OF JESUS I PLACE ALL MY TRUST IN THEE.ISNT IT FUNNY AS YOU GET OLDER HOW YOU BECOME YOUR MOTHER I TOO SAY THIS SO OFTEN EACH DAY

i am also suffering with deep depression, eventhough i know god is god and he knows what’s best for me! i have my good and bad days! it’s a struggle everyday and sometimes i just want to give up because when i step out of god’s will and try to do my own thing, it is so hard to forgive myself when i know that god has already forgiven me when i repent! i try to not be selfish and hold on for my two daughters and my husband! they sometimes have to suffer for because of my depression, but i must press on and not let the enemy defeat me because he want’s to destroy all of us and we have to be strong and trust GOD!!!!!!!!

After reading these posts, which were very interesting :} I am still feeling so much in the dark here. How do we know when we are going on self will, or going on what God wants us to…really need help here!! Feeling like i am at my witts end.

This is the first time I have ever read these posts and I usually don’t ever write anything but I was glad to know I am not the only one who feels like this. I also am depressed and have a short term memory, the only thing that gets me through is praying to God and not wanting to be selfish, and holding on for my family. I feel that I am not on the right track, the track that God wants me to be on but I am helpless about changing my course. I keep praying that I will do God’s will and hope that eventually I will find my place in life.

I have probably always been depressed, but I could not understand that in the earlier years. I do pray about the things that bother me, but my mind wonders so that I seem to be saying, “thank you, Lord, and Amen”, stating one problem or concern at a time. So, my prayers are “piece meals, ” it seems. I hope God accepts my sentences and my inability to get a handle on my grief. I know that we all have our crosses to bear. My mind concerns me more and more, and I wonder if the meds have anything to do with this?? Paxil and Wellbutrin…

SOMETIMES i FEEL SO SAD,BECAUSE A GUY I WAS SEEING FOR ABOUT 6 MONTHS STOPPED TALKING TO ME. i SAID SOMETHING THAT HE DIDN’T LIKE AND HE GOT MAD AT ME. i TOLD HIM i WAS SORRY, BUT HE WOULDN’T FORGIVE ME. ITS BEEN ALMOST 7 WEEKS AND HE STILL WON’T TALK TO ME. tHERE ARE DAYS WHEN I DON’T GET SAD ABOUT IT, BUT THEN THERE ARE THE DAYS WHEN I JUST GET SO DEPRESSED AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS CRY. I MISS HIM SO BADLY AND THE WORST PART OF IT IS THAT WE WORK AT THE SAME PLACE AND SO SOMETIMES I RUN INTO HIM AND ALL HE DOES IS IGNORE ME. i PRAY TO GOD TO HELP ME BUT IT DOESNT SEEM TO GET ANY BETTER, I SO DESPERATELY WANT TO STOP THE HURT THAT I FEEL INSIDE AND I WANT TO GET OVER HIM BUT IT IS SO HARD.

hamg in there keep using positive self talk tell yourself you wllll get through it.Use prayer and meditation and twelve step programs,a minestor,doctor/friend talk to people.I find walking and mindfulness meditation helps a lot also HANG IN THERE ED

I pray everyday that the Lord will hear my prayers and lift me out of the depression I feel and bring back the joy I had in life.
Please everyone else pray for me too. Thank you.

HI,
MY NAME IS SUSIE & I NEED YOUR ADVICE. SEE SEVERAL YEARS AGO I FAIL IN LOVE WITH A MAN THAT LIED TO ME AND NOW I AM PAYING FOR IT DEARLY. I HAVE NEVER BEEN ABLE TO TRUST OR MUCH WORST LOVE AGAIN. WHAT DO I DO? I FEEL SO SAD INSIDE TO THE POINT WHERE I THOUGHT ABOUT KILLING MYSELF. HOW CAN I MOVE ON? CURRENTLY I AM DATING SOMEONE BUT I DON’T FEEL I CAN EVER TRUST OR LOVE AGAIN. WHAT DO I DO. I FEEL SO EMPTY INSIDE SO ANGRY… WHY ME!? I ASK MYSELF. I ALWAYS TREAT PEOPLE FAIR AND I AM A KIND PERSON.
WHAT DO I DO? PLEASE ANYONE HELP ME WITH YOUR ADVICE. I AM SO DESPERATE. 5 YEARS OF LIVING LIKE THIS HAS BEEN THE LONGEST TIME IN MY LIFE.

i am a single mom and i just got out of a terrible relationship. i feel so depressed sometimes and i think i have a fear of being alone or single….i know i need to be strong for my baby girl…what can i do? someone pleae help me

When it defines the frozen fish, the time insists.