I don’t just think that it takes a village to raise a child- it takes a village to be a mama! We need that support and community. All of us, not just moms with a mental illness. Motherhood in our current culture is so isolating.

As you might guess, Therese, I hate the book title, too …

On a more on-topic note, I read that making sure people with severe mental illness (e.g., schizophrenia) are living with and constantly accompanied by family members is the “treatment” of choice in India. The scary (or promising, depending on your perspective) part is that the results don’t seem to be any worse than those in the medication model in the U.S. …

Therese, Ditto on the book title – the only “good news” would be that it no longer existed. Smart for you and Eric to make the investment in your mental well being and your children by wisely getting some help, which I did not do. There are so many psycho-babble family “reasons” why I would not. I wound up going untreated (than mistreated) from one pregnancy to the next in severe Postpartum Depression; all the while “looking” like the poster person of perfection to the outside world with my appearance, children and home. 20 years ago, which wasn’t that long but in medical intelligence, the dinosaur era, Postpartum Depression wasn’t even acknowledged. I called my GYN/OB when my first baby was several weeks old and told him that something was wrong because I could not stop crying and was severely depressed. Meanwhile this was a very wanted baby after years of infertility (another book of stories). My Physician’s reply was “Oh don’t worry about that, it’s baby blues and will go away in a few weeks” So when it didn’t, I had this dirty little secret, filled with guilt and shame, that I had to hide under the facade of “bliss” and “overachievement” to make up for what I thought must be a “character flaw”. How sad when I look back. I wound up hospitalized when my kids were 2 and 5 – misdiagnosed, mistreated, went through a divorce and self-medicated with alcohol. It was through God carrying me and me doing what I could do for myself that lead me through this journey where I now am (and have been) on an ongoing treatment for depression and both the kids are great. I wish I had had a crystal ball back then. More to follow in my future “comments” – Your honesty is a service to so many – Nancy

Wow, Nancy I enjoyed reading your story. I am a Mother to and went throug dealing with depression on my own with only the support of my phsy doctor/and counselor. My medication helps for the most part, but I still have those “low” days. My niece and I are the only ones who will “admit” to having depression and will do anything healthy about it. She has a bi-polar and personality disorder. The rest of my family who have mental illness are in denial and some medicate w/alcohol/or drugs.
The worst thing for me is my daughter has for the most part abandoned me. She only wants to see or spend time w/me on Mothers Day, my birthday, Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter. Then she only limits me so much time 2- 3 hours. The other horrible thing she has done in the last three years is taken the time I use to have away from me w/my three grandchildren. We use to have over night and weekend visits at my house. My heart is so torn that I can’t be there to watch them grow up any more. The pain/loneliness without them is heat breaking. Sometimes it feels like I am dying from a broken heart.
I joined a grief support group two weeks ago, the group has sweet people, but their grief is from the death of a loved one. So I really don’t feel like I fit in. I think most of us know there is all types of grief in this world, and this group is not what I really need.
The rest of our family treat my niece and I like we are different and for the most part we have been abandoned. I have not spent a holiday w/my whole family in almost eight years. My soon to be 90 yr old Mom, lives w/my sister and she forbids my Mom and I to see or spend time with each other. Again, almost eight years since I have seen or been able to speak with my Mom.
Between not being able to spend quality time with my grandchildren, or see my Mom in almost eight years..life just seems useless. It is very tough.. For those of you that have family members to support you, I hope you all get on your knees each day and thank the good Lord of his blessing they are there supportin you. I HATE THIS MENTAL ILLNESS, WHEN ARE THEY GOING TO FIND A CURE? THEY HAVE FOUND SOME CURES FOR CANCER, MADE WONDERFUL STRIDES W/HEART DISEASE AND OTHERS..but we all with depression fight our “lows and highs” even with taking our medication, it’s just a horrible illnes to have!!!
Pleae keep me in your prayers for healing and peace in our family.
Thanks for reading.

When my sons were ages 13, 10, and 6 my ex-husband took them away from me because I suffered from depression. never mind that I held down a full time job as a Registered Nurse and got no support from him because he was having an affair with a judge’s secretary… He left me for her and came back to take custody of my sons. At the time, I felt my kids were all I had to live for… Even though he and his new wife made 3 times what I made he also took a major chunk of my earnings for child support. Even though I did the every other weekend, holidays, etc custody thing to this day only one of my three sons has a relationship with me due to the way he poisoned them against me. I love all three the same. I miss them each and everyday and 19 years later, i still cry over this chapter in my life
Even though…

“Even though” (cont.)
My story does have an okay ending… I have been with the same supportive psychiatrist for twenty years now. He’s helped me cope every step of the way. I remarried a wonderful older man with whom I had a beautiful daughter. In spite of depressive ups and downs he stood by me.
I am grateful for all 4 of my children. I am especially grateful for the 2 who keep me in their lives. My arms will also always be open to the other 2 should they ever need me. i love them all.