This is my blog entry reflecting on the “Why? questions raised by your posting (for which I thank you):
Anyone familiar with the spiritual life will not be surprised to learn that Mother Teresa suffered “spiritual dryness” for decades.
A new book of her letters is about to be released and documents the excruciating pain of her inner life. Paradoxically, I expect it should document the truly heroic nature of her faith. The act of faith is not easy when there is little or no emotional support. In fact, I question whether faith is faith at all when there is an abundance of emotional support.
Consider marriage. There is nothing easier than to love one’s beloved when in the throes of first love, of courtship and honeymoon. “How do I love thee? Let me count the ways?” flows from the mouth and heart effortlessly when passion and joy seem the only possible response to the object of one’s love.
Love is matured, however, when the “for worse” part of the wedding vows make their appearance, as they inevitably must and do.
Until the “for worse” appears, one is in love with being in love more than the person you love. Commitment and perseverance through the “for worse” yield a harvest of deep, genuine love, and a kind peace and joy for which there are no adequate words. Even at the merely human level, love aspires to the transcendent.
One should expect no less from one’s experience of relationship with God. “Conversion experiences” make loving God easy but, in reality, one is not so much loving God at those times as the wonderful feelings and emotions that accompany the “first love” of God. God courts us, enthralls us through a kind of honeymoon, and then matures our relationship through suffering. Only then can we begin to consider the truth that the God we profess to love is transcendent, and only then can our love truly mature.
Yes, I would greatly prefer that I love my wife at all times with uncontrollably wonderful emotions, but I don’t, and she doesn’t love me that way, either. But that we love each other more today than in times past is undeniably true. The same statements should also be true regarding our relationship with the person of God.
The “Gospel of Prosperity” ignores the reality, necessity and inevitability of suffering. As Christians we believe in the “Paschal Mystery” of life, death and resurrection. That there is and must be suffering IS a mystery.
Hypocrisy is not acting contrary to how one feels. Hyprocrisy is acting contrary to what one believes.
In conclusion, I expect that anyone who takes their relationship with God seriously, as a priority, will learn something and be comforted by this book.

Perhaps, mainstream media interest in Mother Teresa is a evidence of Grace, a sign of God’s presence in the darkness of 21st America.
The sting of the deaths of Mother Teresa and John Paul II remains a part of my daily experience. I miss them terribly. Daily visits to the Vatican web site went on for more than a decade, stopping abruptly about a week after JP II left me twice orphaned; Mother Teresa departed first unless a ‘senior moment’ leaves me confused. Pope Benedict doesn’t do it for me. I needed Mother Teresa and JP II on earth in the flesh. I have been too human to be consoled by the usual reminders they are present to me even now. I’m working on it.
Mother Teresa didn’t suffer ‘First World fools gladly; she saw stark evidence of abject spiritual poverty in the lives of the learned and wise during visits to the USA. I believe her loneliness intensified around Westerners who posed bizarre questions to her like “Are you happy?” Only an American could fail to realize the absurdity of such a query.
“Where did you get the idea was supposed to be easy or fair” ? “What gets you through the seemingly endless bad times are intermittent good times”. “Life isn’t here to entertain you”. “Life is hard”. “Deal with it, get back up, and keep moving”. “Just because you feel weary doesn’t mean there is something wrong”. “What does happiness have to do with anything”. “Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, do you think your grandparents had time to wonder whether they were happy”. “Don’t talk to Mom-Mom or Pop-Pop about ‘wanting to find yourself’ or ‘self-actualization; they’ll call me expressing alarm that you are psychotic”. My old school no nonsense Irish-American mother prepared me for life with these priceless bits of wisdom. And thank God she did.
I imagine Mother Teresa imparted similar gems to her ‘apprentices’. I’m sure she was comforted by the Four Noble Truths and the EightFold Path of the Buddhists; “Life is suffering” is the first truth. I believe much of her experience in life was lived in ‘the land beyond words’. From one vantage point, words are considered necessary evils used to minister to those too frightened to take the leap into Heaven on earth. Why don’t we teach our children to cultivate the ability to stop the incessant internal brain chatter, to experience the peace and stillness of simple awareness ? How do we expect to hear God’s ‘voice’ in answer to our deepest prayers, when the cacophony in our minds makes it hard to hear the songbirds, the omnipresent Symphony of nature ?
“Still the discourse that rattles your soul”. I believe Mother Teresa found refuge in silence and in those times when her mind was still. I believe some version of the opening line in this paragraph ought be taught to every child as it is our birthright.
There is nothing easy about living with a saint. Yet, no one of sound mind would choose to trade places with a saint. While people do experience moments of inexpressible joy, bliss, spiritual ecstacy, and simple serenity, I’m fairly sure we spend far more time in the world of the mundane, dealing with endless daily hassles, enduring unbearable suffering. Perhaps a modern musician unwittingly expressed our predicament with these lyrics: “No more miracles, loaves, and fishes; been too busy with the washing of the dishes”
Much more of life is spent ‘washing dishes’ rather than blissing out on ‘miracles, loaves, and fishes’. It’s just life. Really, where did we get the idea that ‘happiness’ is our birthright, our natural state. The events and lessons of the ‘Passion of Christ’-Holy Thursday through Easter Sunday-are the stuff of life.
Who knows what was up with Mother Teresa vis a vis depression and protracted dark nights. Me thinks she experienced ‘double depression’…..chronic low grade depression punctuated by episodes of more profound depression. “Spiritual dryness’ and depression aren’t mutually exclusive experiences. What of Jesus ? I doubt he spent much time blissing out. I am convinced the crucifixion was a piece of cake compared to 33 years of profound loneliness.
Fortunately, Jesus had his mother, Joseph, Mary Magdelene, and a few of his brighter disciples. However, this human being lived 33 years unable to communicate his experience of life in this world to anyone remotely capable of ‘getting it’. No one had walked this path before. No one could say ” “I understand”. It is agonizing to experience loneliness for extended periods. Let’s not fool ourselves by thinking Jesus went off by himself to bliss out with God. According to the excerpt cited by Therese, Mother Teresa and Jesus spent lots of time kissing. I pray she experienced some relief.

I’m still troubled by the implication I read in so many of these comments that Blessed Mother Teresa would have been any less of a saint (it is considered inevitable among Catholics that her beatification will one day lead to sainthood) if she had taken lithium or Prozac or a similar drug.
Because what does that say for those of us who do? That it betrays our weakness? That we are somehow less virtuous?
(Not that any of us are as virtuous as Teresa, of course.)

I have a great appreciation for the comments offered here. They are quite thoughtful, and thought-provoking.
Interesting that my Protestant relatives can’t understand the Catholic perspective on Mother Theresa. This quote from an email I received from a very thoughtful Christian: “What a sad thing if Mother Teresa’s apparent preoccupation with the experience of the Divine Presence caused her to miss the JOY of seeing that poor wretch she just picked up from the Calcutta gutter die with dignity in a clean hospital bed! What’s wrong with saying this: the joy of this kindness shown IS the experience of the Divine Presence. What a sad thing to be so caught up in getting one’s dogma/theology right so as to avoid eternal damnation that one never experiences the many joys of aliveness!” A quote from another family member views Mother as unable to express her doubts within the church community: Think how different the outcome for Mother Teresa might have been if her church community had afforded her a supportive space for her to work with her questions. She then may well have been able to make peace with her doubts, and been able to deal creatively with the internal agony she was experiencing.”
As much as I respect these individuals, Catholic culture and understanding of suffering, faith, and doubt, are quite different than theirs. I use the above quotes as an example, but I have read similar quotes from ministers of other Protestant sects.
Why did Mother Theresa want her personal journals destroyed? Was she concerned that they would be misunderstood? Surely if she thought that they would be a comfort to many, she wouldn’t have thought that way.
I have never felt (as an adult) that I was not allowed to question my faith, as the second person has. Is it common for other Christians to feel that doubt is somehow wrong, and not a step toward greater faith?

I think this piece of scripture/song pretty much explains Mother Teresa’s position in regard to her Life, Religion and God (all of which will definitely drive anyone into a state of depression, trying to make some sense out of it all)
THERE IS ONE LORD
There is one Lord, one God, one Baptism
One Lord and Father of ALL (Ref.)
Live a Life worthy of your calling,
In humility ,meekness and patience.
Bearing with one another, lovingly.
Make every effort to preserve
The unity that comes from the Spirit,,
Joined as One People, by your peacefulness .
Let us profess the truth in Love,
And grow to the fullness of Christ.
Through Him the whole body is joined as One
We are born free, but there are those that will very quickly put you into bondage … if you allow it to happen. Dr. Dobson’s book The Strong Willed Child, explains a lot of the problem. We now have, around four generations, of strong willed children, who are now grown up and about to take over the world. (A strong willed child, will do what they want to do, when they want to do it, and how they want to do it … God help us ALL !) Me thinks Dobson needs to write a sequel to his best selling book “The Strong Willed Child-Grown up!”
LUV 2 ALL
Wisdum

Don’t get me started on James Dobson.
Besides his odious political views expressed on behalf of even more odious candidates, he has BRAGGED about abusing his dachshund — which he called a logical extension of the severe corporal punishment he advocates in Strong-Willed Child.
http://www.geocities.com/cddugan/DobsonsDog.html
Do note that as I write this, I have my adorable mini doxie Schumi curled up on my lap …

I have been suffering with chronic severe depression for 17 years now and when I think of all the things that set me into a relapse is nothing compared what poor Mother T. had to experience all those years taking care of the suffering, poor and dying. I truly believe Mother T. is a saint, she never got there with out having to suffer. She is a human being just like us first, she come to be a saint after all the suffering she had to endure.
Just life in our every day world is enough to make anyone depressed but when you live the way she chose surrounded around death and suffering 24/7 even a saint could not escape.
I would only pray we could have more examples like Mother T to follow
in this judgemental world our ownselves..this would be a much better “world” for everyone saint or no saint!!

Re – Babs | September 10, 2007 7:18 PM
Why did Mother Theresa want her personal journals destroyed? Was she concerned that they would be misunderstood?
** Mother Teresa was one of the few in this world that could hold a candle to Yeshuah. It was her humbleness and lack of egocentricity,that led her to feel that Way. She suffered with what I like to call “Job Syndrome”, the false belief of guilt, because of your shortcomings and inadequacies in your Life.
Surely if she thought that they would be a comfort to many, she wouldn’t have thought that way.
** I believe that thought never entered her mind. A lot of us believe that we are alone in our suffering. In therapy that’s called denial…”The Truth shall set you free” (of course the Truth can also get you abused, tortured and crucified !)
Is it common for other Christians to feel that doubt is somehow wrong, and not a step toward greater faith?
** Blind faith is no faith to me ! In America, we are called Cafeteria Christians, we pick and choose what want to believe
And let me throw this in for Larry, you don’t need to know any more about Dobson’s book, than the title. I am one of those “Strong Willed” children … and my mother! … and my children! … We will kick your ass with the Truth, in a heartbeat … but we will also Love you with all our heart ! “You can do all things in God, who strengthens you”
LUV 2 ALL
Wisdum

Looks like a lot of folks read the posts. Or the Spirit of our God really does have everything well in hand.[thats the one I choose]. To bad the time sequencing doesn’t jive with what is posted [chronologically} i suppose dealing with the agendas of the bean counters will continue until there are no more beans to count? How soon will that be? Anyway, the compassion for St. Theresa is good for folks, to actually being identified with such grace thru mutual suffering is edifying and encouraging. bless all of you who write and respond thru the Spirit of God. You will know they are my disciples for their love of one another
snooky 325

I am guilty of not reading about Mother Theresa’s diary when it was first exposed on AOL NEWS, and had to hear it from a fellow bipolar sufferer friend of mine. It was startling news – this “saint” did NOT feel the experience of the Love of God! She was clinically depressed for much of her ministrations to the poor and leperous of India, but went about serving them as if the Angels of the Lord were on her shoulders…what an amazing woman, if not saint.
I have “blissful” experiences with God when I am in manic episodes – the adoration, the closeness, the ability to think with God’s mind, the “seeing” of small, insignificant things as being beatiful and presented by God – ALWAYS pass once I am hospitalized and medicated back to normalcy.
I can imagine WHAT Mother Theresa was looking for in her relationship to the Spirit of God…a benediction that she was truly working in the Lord’s Field, doing what she could to help the poorest of the poor. But NOT to FEEL the Spirit must have left her devastated…
That is NOT to say that she is NOT a “saint.” She did what she truly believed was God’s work on Earth. May she rest quietly with the Father and commune with Him as never before. RIP