I don’t have cancer, however, I have illnesses that have taken hostage of my body for the last several years, and they do not allow me a moment’s peace. Michelle is corect. It is brutual. To implement the 12 steps at times feels almost impossible, but I do it to the best of my ability, particularly step 1.
I’ve experienced all the above listed symptoms, even while on therapeutic doses of antidepressants. I could go on and on. To live life while co-existing with clinical unipolar depression, FM/CFS/ME has brought me to the edge at times.
I’ve implemented so many traditional and holistic/alternative treatments, methods and modalities in combatting the other illnesses. There are no “cures” for now, and I am involved with some of the best physicians and researchers in the field.
I, too, have had other bouts of depression without these other illnesses. This is an entirely different level, which I would have rather not found existed.

just a personal note/observation to Therese…
I sure hope Beliefnet knows what a jewel they have in you. Today alone you have given us 5 entries, Five! That’s outstanding when other blogs have one a day or sometimes less.
Thank you for the info, the sharing, and the hope.
hugz ((Therese))
Cully

This subject touches me deeply because I had to go through major cancer surgery while also dealing with depression. You’re so right to focus on the need to have at your disposal all the healing energy you can get. This combination of diseases is lethal. Depression sank me so low that I was ready to forget about treatment and just waste away. Breaking out of that misery was nothing less than a turning point in my life and my response to depression. Medication had nothing to do with it. Something deep inside just rebelled at the idea of destruction. I’ve written about that on my blog and can send you that piece if you’re interested.
Your advice, as usual, is rooted in honestly facing what you’re going through and is completely right on. Hope and basic life energy are the most powerful healers.
John

I just posted on Bnet in my Personal Journal my story on Recovery from Alcoholism, a Cancer Survivor and Bipolar. If you’d like to read it, it’s under my personal journal and denise_carden.

Therese,
Your (and Michelle’s) advice applies to depression coupled with ANY major disese or consirion coupled with depression. Although I’d dealt wit my depression for years, it became an entirely different and much more difficult ball game after I suffered my stroke. I was fortunate in that our local hospital’s rehab ward (I’m talking physical rehab here as opposed to substace abuse) was enlightened enough to have a psychologist on staff and included group sessions as a part of our daily schedule, but even so it became another mountain to climb (And mountains are hard enough to climb when you can’t use all of your limbs any more! As personal note, keep in mind that the specialist in charge of your new physical illness/condition (oncologist, physiatrist or whatever) may need to be schooled/consulted by a psychologist or psycholigist. One of my physiatrist’s first moves was to take me OFF my anti depressant! She felt like I was taking too many medications given the addition of the oral insulin therapy which was added because of the discovery of the diabetes which was uncovered by the stroke, and was dealing with the physical healing of my brain rather than addressing combination of the chemical imbalances which I already had been trying to correct with the anti depressant. Her comment to me was that depression was the LEAST of my brain problems at this time, which I now know was a statement of her lack of understanding of the physical components of depression. I was lucky to have an older sister who is an RN who DID understand the necessity of conrinuing the on-going battle with depression and was confident enough to “take on” this physiatrist to be an advocate for me in terms of fighting to get me back on my meds because this (well-meaning, I’n sure) physician didn’t comprehend that my depression went deeper than the common sideeffect of depression accompanying trauma to the brain and so needed to be treated differently than the depression which most of my fellow ward members were experiencing. Be it cancer, a stroke, or any other life altering disease or injury, there is a grief process similar to the one you face at the death of a loved one when you’re confronted with losing ANY part life as you’ve known it thus far (In my case, the loss of my left leg and arm and facing the fact that my career was quite likely suddenly over, but that only COMPOUNDS the depression that those of us with “creative wiring” are already living with, it doesn’t replace it, and so it’s essential that your specialist consult with your primary care physician as well as any psychologisy/psychiatrist who has been dealing with your condition.(I can’t stress this enough; it’s CRUCIAL to your recovery both in terms of time and treatment. Your body has enough to deal with in facing this new disease without taking away the tools it’s used to having to fight clinical depression, and it’s NOT the same kind of depression as the kind brought on by your new fight and shouldn’t be trated as such. When I was released from the hospital to an extended-care facility(translate: nursing home) the physiatrist in charge there fortunately DID understand the difference and restored my antidepressants, but that six week period without them was pure Hell in terms of trying to maintain any kind of emotional equilibrium. As patients, it’s necessary for us to be proactive in situations like this even if we’re viewed as being “non-compliant” or “in denial” concerning this new challenge to our bodies, and we (I know now) must become INSISTANT that we be treated differently than the run-of the mill patient who is only dealing with the new illness, because we ARE diffwewnt and there’s no shame in that (contrary to what may be
the specialist’s personal attitudes or beliefs surrounding the issues of mental illness.) The nursing home’s on-staff psychologist, who specialized in neyropsychology was a God-send. He immediately understood that I was depressed beyond the “normal” boundaries of the depression which is brought on by major health issues, and treated me accordingly, both in our one on one sessions and by fighting to restore me to mt “pre-morbid” (translate “pre-stroke; God, I HATE that particularmedical terminology! (It seems macabre to me!) medications which helped me in being able to focus on the new kinds of healing my poor body was trying to accomplish through the physical/occupational/speech therapies which were now a necessary part of my daily routine. I was (FINALLY) able to give myself permission to feel what I felt without feeling guilty and discount the uneducated reminders that everyone else(the other patients) was dealing with the same issues I was (they WEREN’T since clinical depression wasn’t part of their lives before they were brought to this new challenge and they didn’t have to contend with “creative wiring” which had now been further comprimised by the damage to the brain) I had long been the kind of patient who demanded equal input into my treatment plans before I had my stroke, but this new challenge seemed to destroy that particular part of my makeup, or at least retard it so that I wasn’t able to stand up to the various professionasl who were assigned to my “case” and demand that my mental illness not be discounted or thrown into the same bag s the “expected”bouts of depression which often accompany a serious illness/condition. I am ever so indebted to my sister (who happens, coincidentally to be the sibling with whom I had the most issues) forstepping up to the plate and advocating for me, but I know now (that 20/20 hindsight vision again) that all medical professionals are NOT created equal when it comes to understanding or acceptance of the reality of mental illness when it’s exacerbated by a fresh medical crisis, and if (God forbid!) I’m faced with another major health issue, i’ll know enough to fight for myself and my right to have my depression treated as it’s own diagnosis instead of being thrown into the mix of what’s to be expected! Some of the medications commonly used to try and speed the brain’s recovery from trauma ( Ritalin, for example) actually made my mental ilness WORSE, and eventually I refused to take them while demanding my antidepressants back, but my recovery would have been hastened, I now believe, had I known then what I do now. It’s sad that many doctors who’s practice focuses on physical illnesses aren’t necessarily aware (or accepting) of mental illnesses, but it’s (another) issue we must deal with if we’re to help our bodies heal. So I would add on self-advocacy in terms of our right to treatment for our mental illness to Michelle’s list of suggestions. It can’t be considered a “secondary” illness, as anyone who has struggled with it knows only too well.

cUT MYSELF OFF AGAIN BEFORE i WAS FINISHED.!(One of these days I’ll (hopefully)figure out what it is that i’m doing to cause my computer to start posting before I consciously give it permission!
I personally was blessed in that I experienced nothng less than only pure euphoria following my son’s death thirty years ago, but i DID later on suffer a miscarriage and so have some first hand experience of how dibilitating hormonally-fueled depressions can be, and they certainly rival if not surpass anything i’ve dealt with in the abyss. My logic tells me that feeling that way at a time when you’re SUPPOSED to be on top of the world would engender a tremendous anount of guilt to add to it, which could only deepen it further, and my heart goes out to any and every woman who has had to deal with that horrible combination of emotions. PPD, like clinical depression, carries a stigma that makes it difficult if not next to impossible to receive consolation from family members oe friends, so effective diagnosis/treatment becomes even more critical (We mothers are so “good at”(“BAD at?) guilt anyway! (as are depressives in general)so that adds yet another layer to the miasma we must emerge from.
i’m thankful for this opportunity to actually DO something to assist in the fight against PPD (…There but for the grace of God and all that) My prayers for success will also go up on behalf of the researchers attepting to unlock the causes and cures for this crippling disease.

I am currently suffering from depression and cancer. I was diagnosed with colon cancer three years ago yesterday. Today is the anniversary of becoming a semicolon A year later it had metastasized (God I hate that word!) to my lymph nodes and liver. Six months of Avastin, Oxilaplatin, leucovorin, and fluroracil (5FU) and I was “clean” again. Well that lasted about six months. Now the cancer has spread to my lungs and I just began my third bout of chemotherapy two weeks ago. My second treatment is in two days. Three days every two weeks for the next six months. Prognosis? Doctor said with chemo and if I respond as I did before I’m looking at 1 to 2 years. I do believe in miracles and I’m praying for a big one! I’m also realistic and based on statistics the odds are not in my favor. Coupled this with severe depression and you have a recipe for disaster. I’m currently on Zoloft which helps somewhat. I began seeing a counselor but just when I started to open up to her she left for another position in another city. Tried two other counselors and was not comfortable with either one. I need to find another that I can open up to. I have my friend who is an AA and is really good at counseling. He should have been a professional as he has lived through hard times and knows first hand what cancer can do. His wife was in remission for 17 years and the cancer has returned. I’m taking life one day at a time and just try to be the best person I can be to my family and friends.

thomas l. mcdermitt’s:daily survival kit for serious illness would do well on your post. the portable card is available free, in any amout. contact:dskfsi@yahoo.com you can find the writting on-line under google:daily survival kit for serious illness best,hope.