Ready to Clean Up Your Act?

Re - "Change comes from the heart, not the head."

God/Love dwells in your heart...AMEN !

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Wisdum

Fear can become the main addiction. We can live whole lives in it, and pass it on to our children. Faith and friends are the greatest answer. I lost my two best friends and support systems this year and sunk into the fear, what the doctors call depression, I am crawling out now, trying to keep it real and in faith and light. Articles and the comment sections attached do help...thanks to all.

There are only two things we need to be concerned (or is that procerned ?) about in this world and or Life ... overindulgence and overdose. All of our problems are rooted in those two things ! Somebody is dumping a whole lot of guilt upon those problems (gee, I wonder who that is ?)

Here's another thing I just discovered (yep, it's another one of those wrestle with the Spirit Days) There are two major spirits that dwell within you, that define what you are...The Spirit of Ego (that's the one that thinks it's in charge) and then there is The Spirit of Sub-Conscious (and that's the one that's really in charge, battle that Spirit, and guess what...you lose!...that's Ego,of course)

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Wisdum

MY HEART IS BROKEN & IS BREAKING ALITTLE MORE WITH EACH PASSING DAY,MY DAUGHTER HAS NOT TALK TO ME IN 3 MONTHS,MY DAUGHTER SUFFERS FROM BI-POLAR,TO TALK TO HER IS LIKE WALKING ON EGGSHELLS.BUT IF I SPEAK WHAT IS ON MY MIND,SHE BLOWS UP,I FEEL LIKE SHE HATES ME,BUT I KNOW IN MY HEART THIS IS NOT HER,IT'S ALWAYS UP & DOWN LIKE A ROLLER COASTER,I NEVER KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT.SHE'S GETTING MEDICAL HELP,BUT SHE JUST DOSE NOT WANT TO COMMUICATE WITH ME,IT HURTS,WHAT CAN I DO FOR SOME PEACE OF MIND,I PRAY EVERY DAY ALL DAY!

JANE.... I'm sorry your heart is breaking. I know a little of what you are going through but have no answers. My prayers are with you.

I had an epiphony just last week about this, and I'm 47! When I was just a child my father would slam my brother's head and mine togther, make me stand on my head in a corner until I passed out, beat me bloody, etc. Now, don't go getting horrified...forgivness really is the answer, but I digress...He called it 'discipline'. Well no wonder I'm 50 lbs overweight and believed myself to have NO "discipline" whatsoever!!!! Even though I made committments to forgive all those who've damaged me, made it through a grievous bout of nursing college, came out with a BSN, worked two jobs while doing it and most importantly raised my daughter as a single Mom, being in committed relationships, being back together with the father of our daughter my ex-husband for the last 4 years and it is GREAT and much more all through COMMITTMENT! It was the WORD discipline that I could not and would not swallow, psychologically, I couldn't believe in it! COMMITTMENT though!!! I can do COMMITTMENT!!! So, I simply switched the word discipline with committment and I am doing the 20-30 gram of carb thing since last Friday, October 5, and have been so blessedly successful at it I had to FIND something yesterday to go from only consuming 3 grams of carbs to my physiological need of 20-30 grams for the day!!! My addiction to carbs and sugar is going just as all my other addictions have done throughout years of hard work through my COMMITTED effort. Now, I don't know if you suffer from childhood issues, though I have a difficult time imaganing none of us do, I do hope and pray however that my words and personal revealings have helped someone. Blessed journey!

I think the key here is forgiveness - of the self. Like many other people (I think), I've spent lots of time and energy beating myself over the head for failings of various kinds. It's very much a "glass half empty" kind of exercise, and when we try to build a New Year's Resolution on a foundation of self-hatred, no wonder we run away from it as quickly as our tender little psyches will allow!

So much better to keep a focus on the positive. When I wanted to quit smoking, I did a few things that were "anti-negative," like throwing away everything I owned that facilitated smoking, but that wouldn't have been enough. I found things I like, that make me feel good, to emphasize and do more. I joined a choir, because I like to sing (and oh, by the way, it's really hard to smoke and sing classical music well). I indulged myself in long hikes in the country. Soon, I found myself not wanting to smoke, because it interfered with these activities I loved to do.

If the emphasis is on some kind of a foolish attraction to the most painful kinds of truth, the result is a self-constructed prison of self-hatred. Yes, I smoked far too much, and it was hurting me. But it's equally "true" that so much focus on my failiing was hurting me as well. Equally true was my self-image as a good singer and an enthusiastic outdoorsman. Both self-images suppressed smoking, somewhat. But, which of those two do you think I was prepared to immerse myself in, daily, for hours at a time?

Because God wants us to totally depend on him, we need to look for him to deliver us from whatever habit or vice that is in our lives. He says "we have not because we ask not", if we commit ourselves to him and because he is a rewarded of them that dilligently seek him there is no good thing that he will withhold from us. Wave the flag and call out for help. God is the same yesterday, today and forever, if he can create the entire world, surely he can help us to change.

Kim, In the words of the Talking Heads, "same as it ever was"....

Just to brag a little, I quit smoking this year. It was never a resolution; I don't feel those work for me, so, I never make any. However, I have been trying to quit smoking for years and now I finally did. Yeah for me...OK, bragging over. I think most people find it hard to change because, essentially, we do not want to change. We are happy with our dysfunctions until we are not for one reason or another. I was tired of waking in the morning barely able to breath and coughing my head off. That was enough! You have to want it or it never changes. I know a gentleman who is a really nice and interesting person as long as he is sober. He is an alcoholic and knows it. Yet, he still keeps drinking. He is a real b*st*rd when he is drinking. Go figure. If it doesn't kill him, I know he will quit someday even if that someday is in his next life.

Karen

PS No I am not dating this person but was a few months ago.

I believe that God, Holy Spirt, Higher Power can be the ulitimate answer but assistance here on earth for any change is neccesary. Wether you get this help to quit smoking/drinking/nail biting, ending clutter (one of my personal demons), or being alone and full of fear (also my problem),
we need to ask not only our God but our neighbors, friends, join groups, (there are ones for everything now). I am doing meditation tapes from the public library, going to free couselling and trying to reconnect with the human race after a long term marriage ended. I want to get everyone that has a problem large or small to reach out you never know where the answer could be I am sill searching and at some point I will beat the pack rat syndrome too..I have faith and am learning fearlessness. JeanMCW

The law made me decide to quit the booze, Now when the tremors,shake's,nerviousness,lowself esteem and fear set in, I was showed and told about how God can and will take away all these feelings! I had to do something that I could never do before, I relied on Gods word, that I read in the Bible and the words that I heard from the TV ministers and by going to church. I just could not thumb through the Bible and find things, I needed guidance, I would hear about an area that intrested me and go there, then I would be taken away by the words and stories in the Bible. I learned that to be forgiven of all my sins, I needed to be able to forgive all the people that had hurt me! now , that was hard, but I did and I have! I have learned to confess my sins out load. I have learned that God wants us to have fun and be happy while on this earth, God will give us what ever our heart desires, as long as is for the good of Gods kingdom. all we have to do is ask and when we ask know we will receive and it's on the way! sometimes I wonder if Gods hears me and wonder why my prayers are not being answered, but all will be in Gods timing! when I ask for something, I am probally wanting it now! but Gods see's the whole picture and give's it to me when he see's fit! Another thing is to always be looking for someone to Bless, just do something for them. when we do help one another ,God will help us many times over! Please dont be a sponge and soak up all the blessing's that God give's you , go and spread it around "give them away so you can receive more" I have been sober now for 2 and 1/2 years now all through the grace of our father in heaven. My body has been healed from the alcohol abuse I put it through and have never felt better! we will have bad days but the feeling will soon pass! I am not where I want to be with my walk in christ "I want more" and Thank God I am not where I was!
God Bless you all !

I believe change must come from the heart as well as the end. I am now a weight Reducer whereas before I was a weight "loser"....by changing one small word in my life, I was able to reduce my weight by over 100 pounds...that was back in '96 and today I remain at a healthy weight for my age and body. I also had to change this thought process in my mind by basically re-programming my mind to accept and to use the word Reduce. I also had to listen to my heart along with my Inner Child and create the changes I needed there by and with the word forgiveness. And I actually HAD to mean both those words by taking the most positive of actions and thoughts to make this ultimate change in my lifestyle for a lifetime.
Change must come from both the heart and the head...and if you need to reduce some weight, let your mind do it for you....I did...and I still eat the same foods that I have always loved....I'm Southern, what can I say! LOL!
With a Smile, Linda-Reducer
http://www.neverloseweightagain.com

I agree that change comes from the desire of the heart to want to change. You have to want something bad enough. I was a smoker for 35 years and have not smoked for the past five years, no patches, no pills no weening. I must admit that God is a big factor in this decision. I also was a daily casual drinker of wine and only drink on special times with the ladies a glass or two the last time I had some wine was in July while on vacation. For the past three months I have been going to the gym five to six times a week and have changed my eating habits to the extreme and I feel GREAT. So, gene or no gene I feel you really have to want to change from the heart and stop all the excuses. Yes, it is hard the first few days but it can be done.

Change starts I believe, in your inner-self, your heart, your soul, your mind. Change is to me non physical, what works for me is that I don't battle it with a physical, because what ever the reason we are smoking, drinking, doing drugs, etc., it's because of something inside of us, making us turn to that for a quick feeling of happiness or satisfaction. We have to look deep inside ourselves to see what is the cause of our bad action, why the bad habit? Again, fight this with a non physical, not by doing push ups, lifting weights, etc. Fight it with prayer, with knowledge of yourself. Once we start and pick up a bad habit replace it with a good habit, practice that new habit for at least 21 days and it will get easier. Keep on praying like Ephesians 6:18 says, KEEP ON PRAYING. God Bless you all, in Christ Jesus name, Amen.

"In the end, what doctors and studies and experts have pointed out is that the thing that really helps to change behavior is something hard to measure but ultimately powerful.
Change comes from the heart, not the head."

The head is taught things... things we believe to be true, ways we believe we must behave, and taboos we believe we must not cross. In time the head learns that not all of these things are true, but it breaks the heart to act on that knowledge.
We are told that to not believe these things is to be disloyal - disloyal to family, society, and religion; but what about ourselves? If we sink into the mire because of our "loyalty" to others then what have we accomplished and how have we honored the gift of life and the trust of God??

I realize there are many new posters on here who don't know my addiction story, so here's the quick and dirty:

I have had a tortured relationship with my father my entire life, who is (as an adult) a lifelong alcoholic.

Even so, I started drinking in high school (except for a couple of groundings when I came home basically DUI, my mom thought it was a "phase" -- De Nile ain't just a river in Egypt ...).

In college, I began binge drinking, particularly around the basketball games and constant "wine and cheese parties" that were the social events at my school. (Oddly, my grades never suffered even an iota, either in high school or in college.) I lost valuables and was mugged at least once while intoxicated.

After graduation, I became very lonely and (I now know) depressed. I would usually have two or three beers at home, alone, every night to "take the edge off" when I went to bed.

Finally, one night when I was out to dinner with a good friend, and I quite intentionally got stinking drunk (she simply had a glass of wine), she got in my face and yelled at me:

"IF YOU DON'T STOP, YOU'RE GOING TO END UP JUST LIKE YOUR DAD."

That hit me like a tsunami. And that was it.

I quit cold turkey that night. No AA (although I started going to Al-Anon to deal with my "daddy issues"). I'm now 15-1/2 years clean and sober.

Sadly, my friend and I ended up becoming estranged years later. But thank G-d for her being a true friend at the time and throwing the needed truth in my face.

Please tell me what the Bible teach about ALOE VEGA LEAVES in all the area of healing the body ? Thank You !

The first time I got drunk I was 5 years old I have drank off and on all my life.Which now Iam a senior I meet a very nice lady which is in the nursing service.She recommended that I go to the V.A.hospital and check in with Health care people I was admitted to the treatment center
for a week at my release they recommended that I attend AA meetings which I do My lady friend has been a big help to me.I had been a widower till she came along.She checks on me every day in person or by phone.
The New Year will be alot better.

Have a nice New Year

Ah, Rick M. How I would love to give you a hug! My heart is overjoyed with happiness for your decision. Somebody cared and was willing to show that. You were loveable and just didn't know that; somebody came up along side of you and let you know, you believed them, and now you are loving yourself back to health. What a wonderful beginning to a wonderful year for you. My prayers will be with you. Know that you are loved...

I have certainly been in need of "rescuing from the consequences of my vices." which have leed to kidney failure, asthma, and a number of other ailmentsTHe real comfort in this is that since I am the aauther of my own troubles mI can also become the author of my own redemtion with God's help. Ehanks for the thought.