With the suicide attempt of Owen Wilson a few weeks ago, I’ve been thinking a lot about humor and depression—about how so many of us depressives use wit as a remedy for our melancholy.
"If we couldn’t laugh, we would all go in sane," sings Jimmy Buffett. "Time spent laughing is time spent with the gods," says a Japanese proverb.
A sense of humor, for me, is by far the most useful weapon in my depression arsenal. Which is why Eric is panicked when I stop laughing, when my funny bone is split in 43 places.
For two nights in the psych ward, our group therapy session was to watch a comedy act by an actress (I forget her name, sorry … I was on too many sedatives to take notes) who pokes fun at depression and mood disorders, the way I try to do on Beyond Blue. Our psychiatric nurses were well aware of the studies showing that laughter can be a powerful tool for recovery and healing. In between meals and meds, they did their best to evoke a few chuckles from their patients.
Depressive Art Buchwald translated his pain into hilarious columns; Robin Williams uses the manic and depressive cycles of his bipolar disorder to produce comedic genius on and off screen. Many comedians throughout the ages have used their wit to persevere through severe depression.
In a recent "Parade" magazine profile, I learned a bit more about Stephen Colbert of Comedy Central’s "The Colbert Report."
The article starts with this line from Colbert: "I like damaged people. And I am certainly damaged."
Like Buchwald and Williams, Colbert sought refuge from a painful childhood--when he was a young boy his two older brothers and his dad were killed when their commercial flight crashed--in making people laugh. "The beginning of my junior year, nobody knew me at school," said Colbert. "A year later, I was voted Wittiest, and people were happy when I showed up at parties."
Like many comedians, Colbert used his humor to process some of his inner turmoil. Eventually he began to lean on his faith as well, just as he and his mother had in the years following the plane crash. Colbert tells the story about a wintry day in Chicago, when he was walking down the street and a Gideon handed him a Bible. He flipped it open and read the Sermon on the Mount, the passage that I call the "chill out verse," about the futility in worrying, in anxiety.
About the same time he was apprenticing with the comedy troupe Second City, when all of a sudden he burst into laughter while on-stage (and not on narcotics). He said this about that night, which is a wonderful, wonderful line: "Something burst that night, and I finally let go of the pretension of not wanting to be a fool."
I love that so much because I can relate so well. For the longest time, I didn’t tell anyone about my depression, about the severity of my mood fluctuations, about wanting to die so much of the time. I took it all so seriously, as I was so scared by it all.
"My God, if anyone knew what went through my mind, they would think I’m a freak!" I thought. I became imprisoned by the task of "seeming normal," by doing whatever I had to in order to fit in.
But then, like Colbert, that moment came …. in April of 2006, when I penned a short op-ed piece about how much I admired Montgomery County Executive Douglas Duncan for bowing out of Maryland’s gubernatorial race to treat his depression. I made fun of everything that I had done to try to get to sanity. What freedom I felt in finally articulating the truth and trying to laugh about some of it!
I’m not sure if some invisible spirit sprinkled me with fairy dust that day, but for the first time in my life, I truly didn’t care what anyone thought of me (probably because I had plummeted to a place where I was ready to take my own life … and as all person contemplating suicide know, you’re not exactly worried about what others think … you just want it to be over). To all of the uneducated folks out there (most of the US population), I might be a certified whackjob who should be embarrassed of her raw content. But that just doesn’t hold that much weight anymore. Yup. I’m damaged goods. But who isn’t? And who’s keeping track? (I don’t want to meet her.)
It all boils down to fear, and turning it into comedy, so that you can laugh instead of cry—which is how Colbert describes the lesson of the Sermon on the Mount:
Not living in fear is a great gift, because certainly these days we do it so much. And do you know what I like about comedy? You can’t laugh and be afraid at the same time—of anything. If you’re laughing, I defy you to be afraid.
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How many times have we all been laughing at something, and someone has said "there's something wrong with you"!Suprize, your right.The only problem is, we all knew it for a long time but didn't tell. We just laughed.Isn't it a sad thing that everyone else looks to us to lighten the situation with humor.I love to laugh, as long and often as possible.I love to see people laugh.During the dark moments of thoughts of taking my own life,there was a point where I laughed and thought to myself,what a ride it has been!I had it all planned, but I was late!Thank God I took out that extra time to find the humor.
I so agree with the statement: "If we didn't laugh, we'd all go insane"! I use laughter and humor to get through every single day. My life has been easy compared to some, but still has had it's shares of ups and downs. I usually come across and pretty centered...if only some of those people knew how many times I cried till I couldn't cry anymore! I hope everyone who has a "sad" moment can find some joy or humor in it and get on with their life. Laughter is only the best medicine if there is someone there to share the laughter with. What a blessing it is to have both!
Hello,
This is good stuff, laughing. What you need to do, as I have suffered with this off and on for years is to figure out what makes you happy.Keep a happiness journal to determine what does the trick. Noone ever knew me at school. I couldn't bring anyone home because of my fathers violent outbursts although back then people just looked the other way and that a man was just making his woman, equated with children, mind. As far as friends go when you have o6thers involved in your life they steal from you, things just come up missing or they are all up in your business and watching people dying and holding their hand when they pass and knowing that no other could experience this as most people avoid death and dying and avoid those with infirmities, and CHKD children some have never been outside the hospital or had anyone visit them and at christmas time the parking lot is empty.
Commenting on the previous statement about the parking lot being empty on Christmas. When I was in the hospital for emergency surgery a while back the time in included Christmas Day. One of the most helpful thoughtful things was when a group of hospital employees came down the hall singing carols ...Gosh they sounded so good and was so appreciated as I never had missed Christmas services and programs...but they delivered. Also, the family members (inlaws even) also came by on one of the busiest days of the year...it was all so nice to be included - not left out. Felt blessed!! So I am looking for who will be in the hospital this year and make time to visit them!
-CC
I love Stephen Colbert. He's been through so much and he's been able to rise above it all, to bring laughter to and reassure so many. I've been grappling with depression too, and people like him are the best remedy, that attitude...They remind you that it's futile to wallow or live in fear, or let your pain control you, that you'll be missing out on life if it gets the better of you. I really respect a person who can acknowledge their fear, pain, and sorrow and not shut out laughter or life but embrace both. Massive respect to Mr. Colbert, and your brilliant post :)
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