Speaking Out on College Campuses

My brother took his life on March 1, 2005. I'm still not certain that I have grasped the finality of it. I keep thinking if I just drive over to his home, there he'll be, happy to see me. But, in the intervening two and a half years, his wife went through the 'grieving process' and remarried. I'm not there yet. I still wonder what in the h'll kept me from going over there and camping out with him until all was well once more. But I didn't know of the depth of his pain - so I was blissfully ignorant. I'm still sad and blue. I miss him.
Perhaps missing him was what drew me to Beyond Blue. Maybe this is the way I pay pennance? I like the feeling of belonging. My meds were helpful during the depths of my journey. They were a survival tool. But the real healing comes from inter'action'. I know now that my inablility to 'lift a finger' was just one of the symptom/results - but the h'll of it is one baby step can pull me out of the grips of the quagmire. I know this now - action is survival. But I don't want to just survive, I want to prosper. My prosperity seems to be possible when I'm doing something for another. Perhaps that is what Active Minds does. But sometimes I just want to quit thinking so much. I want to be at rest and at peace and just r-e-l-a-x. Ahhh...
Surely, goodness and mercy...
Frank,

The story of Cho Seung-Hui at Virginia Tech is a tragedy of the highest order that can and should never be forgotten.

At the same time, I am sure at least 32 -- no, far more than 32 -- Americans commit suicide every day. A few of them might be "Dr. Kevorkian" type situations in the elderly, but most of them are from depression.

We need to keep perspective. Big time.

Frank, my heart goes out to you and I pray that you receive the blessings of peace and rest in your heart and mind. When such a tragedy strikes, it is unfortunately all too "normal" and human to question and wonder and even blame ourselves. Woulda, coulda, shoulda. It's not your fault, and I hope that you can take some solice in knowing that your brother is at peace and wishes the same for you. I'm sure it saddens him to think of his passing as causing you daily pain. I know in the "psycho-babble" portion, some of us do this self-doubt and questioning as part of the process (what a crappy process).

My mother did this after my father died, unexpectedly over 7 years ago, during the night from a massive heart attack and brain anurysm. I received the "middle of the night phone call from h-ll", which my husband had picked up, and I knew it was not good. Since they were winter birds, retired, they were in Florida. So, with Living Will in hand, I, along with my brother went down to face the end of my father's life with my Mom, after he was on life support for 3 days.

My point is that along with everything else, she too experienced the woulda, coulda, shoulda. Even though my father had been out golfing that day, went out to dinner with my mother and left a message on my voice mail at 7:30 that evening (with my mother talking over him in the background), she still ruminated over whether or not she could have done something to prevent his death.

I do not have a PhD. in Psychology, but it sounds as though it may be part of the passing of any of our loved ones; however, particularly so with the action of suicide. I'm so glad that you came to Beyond Blue. I've read your comments, and you are doing exactly what you set out to do, which is to help others. Frank, there's no penance involved. We all do the best we can, especially with invisible illnesses. I am sure that you would have done anything possible if you had known of your brother's impending decision at the time.

You're so right; while medication is vitally important, the inter"action" is a gift we give ourselves. I have been fortunate to experience the "no strings attached" of giving, without knowing how it would come back to provide me with some of my greatest joys.

With the post itself, Therese, thank you for printing this. We never know who 'recevies' the message and how. Perhaps a young person will read this post at some point and search out this organization for help. To be in college and face all of the pressures and be "cool" along with it, does not mix in well with that age admitting to needing help. Many kids wind up anesthesizing themselves with alcohol and other drugs. Although, I am not saying that is the excuse or reason for all of the binge drinking and partying that goes on. No, Girls Gone Wild is not a video of "depressed young ladies".

To have begun and grown the group of "Active Minds" is a wonderful legacy to her brother, and a valuable coping tool in facing what is almost to much for anyone to bear.

This post re-emphasizes the serious nature and need of knowledge, acceptance and awareness of "mental illness". I pray that in my lifetime, I get to see it viewed from a totally different perspective by our society that it is today.

I agree with the above......mandatory screening questionnaires for all incoming students to a college campus. What a compassionate idea!
Young people often manage to "hold it together" until away from family and old friends..........When faced with the "new" and expectations placed upon them problems surface often with tragic results. We will have arrived as a society when we give mental health as much attention as we do the physical. Thanks. Tina