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You really should read through some of the comments on “Dear God: 40 Ways to Keep Your Lover.” They’re quite funny. And some have compiled their own lists, which are hysterical, like this one from reader Jill:
Holy Moly! No wonder you are depressed if you try to live up to all these rules and regulations to keep a man happy or to keep him at all.
Here’s the first six of my list for men to follow.
1. Wipe the pee off the seat, Pete.?
2. If the clothes pile up, wash a load, Toad.?
3. If you want a hot meal, cook one, Son.?
4. If she ain’t in the mood for sex, leave her alone, Sloan.?
5. Don’t pout, Snout.?
6. Give her some space, Ace!
I wrote Jill to tell her that I really liked her list and that, when she saw my list for men, she would think I stole her “wipe the pee” one, but that I had come up with it all on my own. I swear!
Then she wrote back to me with #51, which is a classic:”If you snore, I’m going to another room and you should not get pissy and pouty about it — you’re the one with the snore, Albacore!!!”
What do you think, any more we should add to the list???
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Previous Posts
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posted 6:01:57am Feb. 09, 2012 | read full post »
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posted 6:17:35am Feb. 07, 2012 | read full post »
The Treasures of Darkness
posted 6:06:40am Feb. 06, 2012 | read full post » |
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Therese J. Borchard writes the daily blog, Beyond Blue, on Beliefnet and is a regular contributor to the award-winning blog, World of Psychology, on Psych Central. Therese is the author of Beyond Blue: Surviving Depression & Anxiety and Making the Most of Bad Genes and The Pocket Therapist: An Emotional Survival Kit. Subscribe to Beyond Blue, visit her website, or follow her on Twitter @thereseborchard.
Meet others on the journey in
Therese’s community group
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Therese J. Borchard writes the daily blog, Beyond Blue, on Beliefnet and is a regular contributor to the award-winning blog, World of Psychology, on Psych Central. Therese is the author of Beyond Blue: Surviving Depression & Anxiety and Making the Most of Bad Genes and The Pocket Therapist: An Emotional Survival Kit. Subscribe to Beyond Blue, visit her website, or follow her on Twitter @thereseborchard.
posted November 27, 2007 at 10:53 pm
Why can’t we just cope … Dope!
Givin you enough rope … (hope!)
I’ll put down the seat, Sweet
If you lift it up, Pup
And it’s you who does the snore (more!)
Separate beds ain’t enough, Fluf
Earplugs just ain’t enough, Muff
Ahhh ! Screw that all, Blue
Have a ball you
Live it ALL 4 Fun, Son
LUV 2 ALL ~ Wizdun
posted November 28, 2007 at 12:01 am
Some of us have apnea and can’t help snoring
Granted, the treatment, a CPAP machine, is almost as bad as the snoring itself for some women …
posted December 6, 2007 at 12:47 pm
If we had another guy named Tuffy whose nickname was “Tuff” (could have been “Buff” too), I could come up with some excellent advice to keep his lover happy.
But it would violate the PG-13 spirit of our happy blog …
posted December 6, 2007 at 5:32 pm
learn to be a better friend-ken
posted December 6, 2007 at 8:14 pm
If she won’t have sex with you–get it somewhere else, and leave her in the ditch, Mitch.
posted December 7, 2007 at 5:56 pm
1. smell good
2. brush you teeth
3. make the bed
4. go slow
5. be on time
6. be quiet
7. put up Christmas lights.