I was moved by Beyond Blue reader Zana's comment on the message board of my "Video: O Holy Night" post:
This has been a tough December to get through. Marks the 1st anniversary of the day my husband left us and my spiral downwards to my first hospitalization and the steps we've taken on my way to recovery. I have struggled so much with my faith this year and have been so angry at God because I have wondered where and why He had gone from me.Honestly. I stlll am not sure what He has in store and I am numb to hearing, "what doesn't kill you make you stronger." That song reminded of the baby Jesus and how much love his parents were feeling that morning. I didn't have anyone to put gifts in my stocking this year so last night when I playing Santa, i suddenly was moved to write my children's names on a pretty piece of note paper, fold it up and put in my stocking.
They are my gift. Just like Mary had a hard road ahead of her, my little family and I have been climbing over boulders in our path this year. I've watched my them in so much pain, but not anything near what she, Joseph and Jesus had to endure. Their son, their son!... and what he did for us! That song reminded me. We celebrate his birthday. Where his lifeleads on this earth and finally, the peace that comes afterward.
I may not be there yet, but I am beginning to let go and let God. My sister-in-law reminded me last night as she was telling me of a hardship she just endured, yet with everything she does, she prays. Even during the worst of times, she hands her life over to Him and He leads her to a peaceful heart and mind. I have been afraid to say, I have had wobbly legs like a baby trying to pull himself up to standing position, but I'm getting there, When I read how much faith you all have here it gives me hope that I'll find my way again. Today is the day we start fresh, reborn again. Amen.
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Sometimes our legacy is ... our legacy.
Heckuva thing for a guy not inclined to have his own family to say, but I'm full of contradictions. Such as being so moved by Matthew 1:1-17.
I hope you had a very Merry Christmas, Zana. It sounds like you appreciated the true gifts. As I tried to as well.
Zana wrote, "last night when I playing Santa, i suddenly was moved to write my children's names on a pretty piece of note paper, fold it up and put in my stocking.
They are my gift."
ain't that the truth... the whole Truth... and everything in the TRUTH
Every child on this planet, every child born is our (all of us) gift.
God said to the Hebrews when Jesus was born, and everyday since then to all of us - I have faith in you, and I trust you to do the right thing.
hugz,
Cully
http://community.beliefnet.com/cully
Zana: Not only was I moved by what you "were moved" to put into your stocking, I was also struck br another importany(IMHO)illustration it provided. Where is it written that your stocking must be stuffed by SOMEONE ELSE? Although those of us who share this common malady are probably the LAST group to do so, giving to ourselves is a valid. rven praiseworthy endeavor. after all, aren't we instructed to love others AS OURSELVES? To me that implies a commandment to love OURSELVES, although I admit to "getting" that rather late in life! This year i gave my son's new fiance a vase that was originally my mother's because I wanted her to have something that had belonged to the (human) person to me who most modeled unconditional love, and I know my mother would be as thrilled as I am with the young lady my son has chosen to live his life with (beautiful inside AND out!) In the letter I wrote to accompany the vase, I shared with her a truth that I learned about a year ago which relates to giving to self. Flowers add such natural beauty and elegance to a room, that it's a shame most of us feel we need to wait for others to present them to us; I urged her to begin giving them to HERSELF! Even if, like myself, apartment dwelling precludes picking them out of your own yard, most large stores now include a floral department where mixed bouquets can be purchased for a pittance, and they're just as lovely and fragrant as those someone else might present to you!. You carried that philosophy to a fitting end by stuffing your own stocking, Zana, dear, and you don't have to worry about exchanging anything, either! (Another added bonus; "exchange croeds can be just as deadly as "pre-Christmas ""putchasing crowds" if not more so! Thank you for sgaring this specialmoment from your Christmas with us; it was truly inspirational, at least to me! And if you're anything at all like I am, your children are the BEST gift you could ever receive!
Zana -
As I mentioned on the day that you posted under "O Holy Night", I was and am in awe of your "stocking stuffers". You are a woman of courage, strength and love.
God bless you,
Nancy L., NJ
You had the best gift in your stocking and your life...your children.
Nancy a.k.a. sixlittlekitties
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