As I read about Britney’s hospitalization last week, her increasingly erratic and bizarre behavior, and her deteriorating mental and physical health, I react with the simultaneous disgust and sympathy that most people (who have a heart) do: “Get some sense, woman!” and “God, I feel for you, woman.”
Because, even as I’m disheartened by her decisions, I realize, on some level, that she is sick. So very sick. As reader Cathy eloquently said in response to my earlier Britney post: “She has no sense of herself in the world anymore.”
When I was a sophomore in college, my therapist suggested I read Colette Dowling’s book “You Mean I Don’t Have to Feel That Way?” It forever changed the way I viewed mental illness, alcoholism, and the relationship between the two.
Early in chapter seven, “When Sobriety Isn’t Enough,” she quotes Daniel Goleman, who back in 1990 was a science writer at The New York Times:
For several years, scientists have suspected that at least some drug addicts suffer imbalanced in brain chemistry that made them vulnerable to depression, anxiety or intense restlessness. For such people, addiction becomes a kind of self-medication in which drugs correct the chemical imbalance and bring a sort of relief.
Dowling goes on to say that scientists believe that identifying an underlying psychiatric disorder and intervening medically will help treat the addiction as well as the disorder. After reading the following paragraph I finally understood why I craved booze from the time I experienced my first buzz, and what that had to do with the biological underpinnings of my depression:
Scientists think that in predisposed humans the production of endorphins and enkephalins in the brain is abnormally low from birth. Low levels of these mood-regulating chemicals result in anxiety and a feeling of need that is extremely uncomfortable. It is this bad feeling that makes people susceptible to the brief mood-lifts provided by drinking and drug taking. They are not really look for euphoria. What they long for, what their bodies are trying to achieve, is the state of chemical balance that those of us enjoy who are fortunate to have enough neurotransmitters in the first place.
The fact that the two—addiction and mental illness—are codependent is no surprise. What’s complicated is how to treat a person with a dual diagnosis because the treatment cultures are so different. According to Dr. Ken Duckworth, M.D, who I interviewed for my Friday series “How Do You Move Beyond Blue?” it sucks to be a family member of a person who is simultaneously suffering from addiction and a mood disorder (he didn’t use those words) because in the substance abuse culture, the person is generally viewed as the agent of the problem and are held accountable for their relapses ("Dude: get it together!!!") but in the mental illness culture, the person is regarded as the victim of her illness ("Baby doll: come to mama").
Thus our divorced, disconnected response: "Get it Together! Come to Mama!"
Says Duckworth:
Now what I have experienced, when the person has both substance abuse and a mental illness, people don’t know how much to do for the person, and how much to have them be accountable, and to have them learn from their mistakes because in this case, when you have both together, the mistakes could easily be lethal.You can see this dichotomy. And when I work with families dealing with both conditions, my heart really goes out to them because in the AA world, and in the substance abuse culture, they are encouraged to have the person hit bottom and be accountable, but that’s not the case in the mental health world.
Once you throw in the stigma of mental illness, you get even more confused. I can hear the conversations among all of Britney's peeps in Hollywood (talent agents, public relations folks): “God no, not bipolar. Let’s stick with addiction. I agree, addiction is much better. People get addiction.”
When I stopped drinking in high school, I had no problem telling people I didn’t drink. All I had to say was that the same phenomenon that happened in Michael Jackson’s music video “Thriller” would happen to me when I drank large quanties of alcohol: I grew chest hair, my nails curled, and I’d do stupid things like provoke cat fights in bars.
“Oh … cool,” was the response. I got a few raised eyebrows, but nothing like when I drop the B word: bipolar.
“Ack! You BELIEVE in bipolar???! We all know that’s a make-believe diagnosis for people who can’t get beyond their childhood crap, are too sensitive to function in this world, or don’t know how to properly train their thoughts. Really, just swallow some fish-oil capsules, get yourself to yoga, focus on your blessings, and you’ll be fine!!!”
What’s really fun for me to watch, as a person afflicted by both addiction and bipolar disorder, is when the “experts” like Dr. Phil weigh in. I’m intrigued by the diagnoses and treatment plans thrown out for the same reason we, as a culture, are obsessed with this stuff: we get to see on national TV the familiar struggles we fight within ourselves and with family members every day.
But, in fairness to Hollywood, just when I can’t stand to read another tabloid story, I’ll stumble onto a gem like Craig Ferguson’s poignant monologue on the topic, which I’ll sum up with the words: “There but by the grace of God, go I.”
That, in my opinion, is the best response of all.
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The poor kid! She is obviously having a nervous breakdown and seems to me that no one cares how sad. That so called man she married didn't care either I think he was a complete gold digger and rode on her coat tails to try to gain fame and recognition. I think that he broke her heart. She could be suffering from post partum depression also. It breaks my heart to see that no one around her seems to care about helping her especially her own mother. She is in my prayers and I hope that someone will step up and help that poor child.
Well, I feel for Britney & her family. My daughter has been a true fan even still now. Britney needs to want to help herself or else nothing will ever work. She needs to mend her relationship with her Mom and let her back into her life so she can help get her through this. As far as her ex, I think he is just taking advantage of a low time in Britney's life and is selfishly not trying to help her but hurt her as much as he can. He sure kissed up to her in the beginning, that's why he is where he is now all because of her. Prior to Britney being in his life he was a nobody spectacular!I think her life spiralled downwards when she got together with him and well the rest is history.I can imagine how hard it is to be in the spotlight all the time and how it takes a toll on some people,but Britney needs to know that a lot of people love her and a lot of people are praying for her and God is the only salvation for her. I hope that she gets better so she can be on top of the world again. As far as her ex and anyone else trying to crush her, I hope that they come to there senses and show some compassion and realize that they are not perfect either, so who are we to judge?
Nobody really knows what happened between Brittney and KFed( or whatever they call him) except them!Again people bash him and accuse him of causing Brittneys meltdown because that's what the media is portraying!Did it ever dawn on anyone that it was her illness that caused the breakup in the first place and maybe he DID try to get help for her,and becuse of her denial (?) he really was thinking of the well-being of the little guys? Is it really about just 'cashing in' on her fame or did he know that she was headed for a breakdown way before it became a household topic? Just a thought,don't think it is right to judge before knowing all the facts,if it is any of the pubic business at all.Eveybody involved are human beings first and foremost and private matters should be private and being a 'star' should make no difference. They should be able to make public what they so choose to make public,but society doesn't allow that.Hopefully it will die down soon,unfortunatly probably at the expense of another troubled 'star',is the public so self-rightous and bored with their own lives that 'kick 'em when their down' is now the norm? In this case I have to admit that I am one of those folks who 'just don't get it!'.
I know that no matter what we do, God love us. Just remember to keep Brittney in our prayer. We look at man outward appearance, but God see the heart. We all sin.
What is all this pity party for britney. NO one can help Britney except Britney, and until she admits she needs help nothing can be done. Until she hits rock bottom no one can help her. She laughed at the judge and went out partying right after he told her she was not do that anymore. She is totally responisible for her behavior.
What she really needs is tough love.
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