Therese:
Susie sounds like my ex-wife E.
Tell Eric no matter how frustrated he may get when you are down (really just because he loves you so much and wishes he could help), even from a completely selfish point-of-view on his part he **SOOOO** got the better end of the deal!!
Happy (mutual) birthday, Larry

in the years after my husband’s death my youngest daughter often sent me funny little emails of smiley face people to cheer me up. they would sing songs like “don’t worry, be happy,” as she was always trying so very hard to do. she drew me smiley face pictures. all this negative talk about smiley faces being evil is making me paranoid.

Happy Birthday Larry & Therese! Good idea for a post. Ruth.

Yay, Therese and Larry! I’m so glad you both are here — and all of us. This is such a wonderful community, with so much good thinking and feeling going on.
I like the exercise, too, and I will give it a go in my mind.

1.Many students unable to master the curriculum in their classroom would have been returned OR tyheir poor(literally and figuratively) parents would have had to find funds to enroll them in for-profit tutoring program
2. My late father would quite likelt never have overcome his racism
3. Ryan wouldn’t have been born creating one more Afro-Saxon who might possibly help others rise above racial views
The evil superintendent who was draining BH’s school district of both funds and dedicated professionals with opposing viewpoints would still be running the district and remain unexposed because everyone was afeaid to step up and expose him to the local media
3.Four infant bunnies whose mother was slain by a feral cat wouldn’t have been rescued, nursed and returned to the wild.
4. The local Children’s Art Fair wouldn’t have expanded to include the performing arts thus exposin BH’s children to a variety of performance experiences and (perhaps) dooming them to understand art as being only graphic or more classic kinds of performers as dull and uninterwesting
5, One of my younger sisters would have been forced intio the “sca[egoat role”, ruining HER self esteem
The arts academy as part of our public school system might never have left the planning stages
A male aquaintance would have gotten away with beating his estranged wife without an eye-witness to testify in court
THAT’S ENOUGYH; Perhaps a MANIC moment of being grandiose?

i wouldnt have been there to realy touch the lives of many o f the elderly who nobody visits and really care that they get the proper food made with love i work in a nursing home.
i wouldnt have made a differance in the life of my stepdrandson who i raised till he was 5 i guess my inner child could allways be on his level
i have been a influance to many that didnt understand depression but through me they have seen that you can overcome anything throwed at you if you fight hard enough.
i wowouldnt be touching the lives of everyone at my church for haveing the courage to change and anyone else who has lived an alternitive life style yes with god we can change.
the laughter i have brought to so many because i am just me.,i can find humor in anything.
i woudnt have imade all the wonderfull freindws i have made here therese larry happy birthday

My step grandchildren might be in foster homes without the help I have given their developmentaly delayed parents in raising them.
Dozens of miscellaneous free drawings would not be scattered across the Northwest, perhaps giving someone pleasure.
My little sister might have serious self esteem problems without the help I gave her.
My first wife would probaly be dead or in prison.
I taught religious ed in my parish for ten years, i know not the impact, but I believe it to be positive.
My writing, with a little exposure, seems to have touched some people.
Dozens of people might have been stuck in the snow, or stranded with their cars not starting.
many people in my community might not have had essential work done on their homes at more than resonable prices.
My community would be less informed about mental illness and its consequences in people’s lives.

If I had not been born untold multitudes would be trying to be me. I have somehow managed to save them all that trouble.

A belated “Happy Birthday” to Larry & Therese!
Nancy L.

Pardon my Tardiness, HAPPY BIRTHDAY LARRY & THERESE! If you guys were’nt born BB would’nt have been the timely lifesaver I needed! (1- My older brother would have been an only child. My parents would have had more spending money and less sleepless nights. On the other hand if I was’nt there the violence in my household might have escalated. I believe my being there saved my brother’s fiance from a stabbing. I was a pretty good referee and de-escalator durring family fights. (2- My student might not have had the “AH-HA” moment when I showed her a crucial concept as a young rider and gone on to ride as a successful amateur in dressage at the international levels . She remembers that when I met her some twenty years later. THAT’S WHY I love to teach! (3- At least one rogue racehorse would have been dog food had I not seen his potential,bought, re-trained,and helped him realize his talent at several disciplines. He taught me more about patience, perserverance , and the goodness of humanity than most people.(and some dynamite horsemanship skills) (4- An otherwise intelligent, well to do, and generous older lady might not have known the truth about who was conning her. That court case is still pending. I guess I have done some good in the universe.

I just read this entry… reading what you have written about yourselves makes me very happy! Thank you for a great start to my day
Blessings, hugz, and LOVE,
Cully

Happy Birthday, Therese! Happy Birthday, Larry!
Thank you God, that there is no Susie in Eric’s life. I wouldn’t have liked her column. In fact–I wouldn’t have given her the time of day.
But Thank you for Therese and BB!!!!!
Love Valerie

1.) Our goddaughter would likely be dead by her own hand. Having me in her life to help mitigate the damage done by her biological mother kept her sane enough not to actually follow through on her wish to kill herself.
2.) Same goddaughter is also a sane, caring individual majoring in Art History and managing her own household instead of an angry, violent person without any coping skills. It’s amazing what unconditional love can do (along with a lot of prayer and a good therapist)
3.) A lot of people would be a far worse emotional condition if I hadn’t been there to mentor and support them
4.) A wonderful FeLeuk positive cat would have been “put down” nine years earlier than necessary because he was ferel and couldn’t be released back into the streets. By taking him in, we gave him nine wonderful years in a safe and loving home.

1} If I hadn’t been born perhaps my Mom would have had a true teen age life without being a baby having a baby. 2) My brother would have been the oldest or even the only child and perhaps still alive today. 3)My two daughters wouldn’t have had the luxury of being raised by a teen mother right out of H.S. ( guess we do what we see rather than what we are told?) 4) I wouldn’t have had to opportunity to join Bnet and meet a group of people who share in the same strengths, hopes and experiences from all walks of life.
Therese & Larry, check you comments on your pages, I sent you two birthday wishes there.
Sharon

There wouldn’t be Beyond Blue. Well, I guess there could be, but it might be written by a mean lady married to Eric that insisted that all you need to feel good is a job that pays well, a fancy car, and a bunch of name-dropping friends. Or worse, a Law of Attraction fanatic who insists that throwing a smily face into the universe is the path to peace and happiness.
Shudder, shudder, shudder! Thank God for Therese! Also, happy birthday Therese and Larry.

1) If I hadn’t been born, my adoptive parents wouldn’t have had the daughter they always wanted, and have seen nearly every week of her adult life, and who is truly there for them.
2) My husband would probably be a lifelong bachelor, and not have experienced the deep love and committment that a family and kids offers.
3) My kids would not be here, and my beloved dog would not have been rescued by a loving mom.
4) I would not have had the relationships that have been the foundation of my life, that have nourished me and made my life worth living.
Thanks Terese for your thoughts and all of the members of this blog for making my day a bit brighter, and knowing there are lots of people struggling w/depression and the depression of their teen.
teensmom

I realize I answered the question on the group from the perspective of what experiences I would have missed instead of the “It’s a Wonderful Life” perspective of what happened to other people. So here goes:
According to my Native American grandmother, her sister who died just days before I was born would not have been reincarnated in a male form in me.
My mom and dad would have only had one baby. My mother would have been very lonely with just my sister and it probably would have accelerated their divorce and my father’s slide into alcoholism.
My extended family would have not had a precocious influence to entertain them with jokes and trivia on major holidays. (A precocious influence that often touched my teachers’ hearts too … forget “teacher’s pet,” some wanted to adopt me, and one wanted to Debra Lafave/Mary Kay LeTourneau/Pamela Smart me!)
My high school would not have had the (nice version of the) Tracy Flick-uber-volunteer all high schools need. Nor would its girls have had a ready shoulder to cry on after their buff but clueless athlete boyfriends “done them wrong.”
My English professors at Georgetown (and my journalism professors at Maryland) would never have had the exquisite torture of dissecting my intelligent but all-too-complex writing.
The people of southern New Jersey would have missed some outstanding newspaper coverage of local and state politics in the mid-1990s.
A sadistic, reverse racist editor in Ohio would have had to find someone else to bully for the crime of skin color.
A woman named E. would have wallowed in self-pity after her previous boyfriend came out of the closet to her, instead of sharing her good qualities (her intelligence, her charm) with her new boyfriend/later husband and her family and friends for many years, until she ultimately tired of me.
A man named R. would have had to find someone else to bully a la Javert to Valjean. Maybe someone with less strength of character, like Salieri to Mozart, who unlike me would have ultimately succumbed to such sadism (though I came close on a couple of occasions.)
Some wonderful “Jersey girls” (albeit adopted rather than native) would not have had some fun experiences dating a pretty nice guy. Not all relationships that don’t end in marriage are unsuccessful.
An all-too-typical New Jersey politician, thrown out of office for routinely groping women on gambling visits to Atlantic City and later killed in a car accident outside a strip club, would never have heard my scintillating (hah!) testimony on smart growth in the Garden State that can easily be googled by any of you.
The people of Culpeper, Virginia would not have been nearly as well informed about their local schools during a true crisis year for them.
(TOO well informed, my bosses later decided …)
The people of New Orleans and Biloxi would have been less informed about their legal options after Hurricane Katrina, yet another of the many interesting work projects I have had over the years.
Maybe my stepdad would have had one less excuse for his volcanic temper and only had three heart attacks instead of four.
A little dachshund wouldn’t have been adopted by someone who grew up with them and wouldn’t have been half as loved and appreciated (especially when she was/is bad/mischievous!).
Some hurting people in New Brunswick, New Jersey wouldn’t have been able to get some assistance and comfort from a guy who was also hurting but managed to fight through it to show his leadership skills in an empathetic way.
And some people on a large Fox-owned Web site wouldn’t have gotten to know a distinctive and unique presence with opinions on everything and a bleeding heart underneath his sarcastic skin.

I was an “oops” kid, unplanned, who came along 9 years after my three siblings. My parents, though, loved me and told me and showed me I was wanted. They said I helped keep them young. My siblings spoiled me when I was a baby, so much that mom put me in preschool early so I’d learn to talk and walk.
My husband would probably have married his psychotic ex-girlfriend instead of me. I’m not perfect but I *know* I’m a little crazy, which I think proves I’m sane. I am extremely lucky to have a mother-in-law who thinks I’m wonderful. My parents think my husband is wonderful, too.
We don’t have kids, didn’t want any, though we have had a zoo of goofy and loving creatures who (whom?) I would miss knowing and loving all these years.

Never really thought about it but now…
1. My nephew would not be telling his son of 10 the things him and his Aunt Nancy did like him picking out my clothes to go out dancing (kept spare clothes in the car due to some “choices” he made at or making X-mas ornaments for many years so he would learn the love of “giving” or pumpkin pie eating contests with left over pumpkin pie and whip cream minus forks or knifes etc.
2. My boyfriend would not have found someone who is the exact opposite of him so that when he goes insane I steady him and visa versa.
3. His daughter would not have an “adopted” mom teaching her all the things a mother should be teaching her like cooking, makeup, table manners, right from wrong etc. Her own mother, Aunts and Uncles are so screwed up mentally from their own younger years the daughter was funtioning at 8-9 years old when actually she is 14 but she is quickly catching up to her own age group.
4. My cousin (whom I have been close to for 20 years) would not be able to talk about some of the wild and crazy good times she had in her younger years because she don’t dare tell anyone else except the person who did them with her!! Me!!!

For me, the answer was given in part in the great classic film, “It’s A Wonderful Life.”
I have always seen IAWL as a much darker film than most people give it credit for. How many “Holiday Classics” feature the man character shouting, ” I wish I had never never been born!” mere minutes after a thwarted suicide attempt? For an excruciatingly long time, George’s life is far from a wonderful life and we are forced to wade through the muck and the misery with him.
My “defining” IAWL moment comes during George’s guardian angel tour through Pottersville, and “sees” the seedy and dismal lives that would have been had he never been born. We see nothing but George’s crazed, unshaven face in an uncomfortable close-up. Cut to Clarence, who offers what are to me, the most central words of the film:
“Strange, isn’t it? Each man life touches so many lives. When he isn’t around, he leaves an awful hole, doesn’t he?”
These brief word sum up what is substantial about the movie. They contain the most wisdom, because they come during the darkest time. Taking Clarence’s individual sentence out of context. they include:
“EACH MAN’S LIFE TOUCHES SO MANY OTHER LIVES.”
This reminds us of the essential interdependence of the extent of which is barely known to us.
“STRANGE ISN’T IT?”
Clarence notes the “strangeness” of the previous truth, which underscores the human ignorance of its interconnectedness with our environment.
“WHEN HE ISN’T AROUND, HE LEAVES AN AWFUL HOLE, DOESN’T HE?”
Clarence who relatively is plainspoken, offers a poetic image here; the “Awful Hole” of Non-being.
George, with his limited perspective saw the world as unbearable because his world was unbearable. When Clarence tells George that every person is an essential part of the world and no matter how bleak one’s life may seem, the pain of being pales in comparison to the awful hole of self erasure.
I find IAWL a powerful optimistic redemptive film. Because powerful redemption came come after real intense darkness. The film plunges
headlong into the darkness and emeges with a newly forged optimism that is profound and strong
Real robust optimism, loosely defined, that this world is “the best of all possible worlds does exist.” But for it to truly become so, there must be an honest and intense encounter with the darkness.
George’s story is my story; viewed personally by me, in the unfolding of my life’s journey.

1) my brother whom everybody loved more than anything would have lived
2) a lot of people wouldn’t had to deal with dumb SOB
3)