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A good relationship has a pattern like a dance and is built on some of the same rules. The partners do not need to hold on tightly, because they move confidently in the same pattern, intricate but gay and swift and free, like a country dance of Mozart’s. To touch heavily would be to arrest the pattern and freeze the movement, to check the endlessly changing beauty of its unfolding. There is no place here for the possessive clutch, the clinging arm, the heavy hand; only the barest touch in passing. Now arm in arm, now face to face, now back to back—it does not matter which. Because they know they are partners moving to the same rhythm, creating a pattern together, and being invisibly nourished by it.
The joy of such a pattern is not only the joy of creation or the joy of participation, it is also the joy of living in the moment. Lightness of touch and living in the moment are intertwined. One cannot dance well unless one is completely in time with the music, not leaning back to the last step or pressing forward to the next one, but poised directly on the present step as it comes. Perfect poise on the beat is what gives good dancing its sense of ease, of timelessness, of the eternal.
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posted February 14, 2008 at 11:02 am
I feel like I have two left feet… but I’m sure, with practice, I can learn the steps.
Thank you for this piece, Therese.
linda-marie
posted February 14, 2008 at 1:22 pm
You’ve chosen some great selections for today, Therese. Anne Morrow Lindbergh’s book “Gift From The Sea” is one of my favorites, so I knew that when I saw her name as part of the title for the post, it would be a good one.
I received an email about “love” and thought I’d share it here….
“There is in each of us, no matter how humble, a capacity for love. Even if our lives have not taken the course we had envisioned, even if we are less than the shape of our dreams, we are part of the human family. Somewhere, in the most inconsequential corners of our lives, is the opportunity for love.
If I am blind, I can run my hand across the back of a shell and celebrate beauty. If I have no legs, I can sit in quiet wonder before the restless murmurs of the sea. If I am wounded in spirit, I can reach out my hand to those who are hurting. If I am lonely, I can go among those who are desperate for love. There is no tragedy or injustice so great, no life so small and inconsequential, that we cannot bear witness to the light in the quiet acts and hidden moments of our days.
And who can say which of these acts and moments will make a difference?
The universe is a vast and magical membrane of meaning, stretching across time and space, and it is not given to us to know her secrets and her ways. Perhaps we were placed here to meet the challenge of a single moment; perhaps the touch we give will cause the touch that will change the world.”
posted February 15, 2008 at 5:11 pm
I’m in the same boat as Linda…two left feet–and one that doesn’t even WORK!
posted February 15, 2008 at 5:28 pm
Ann Morrow Lingdbergh was an inspired and sensitive thinker and writer. Too bad the man in her life wasn’t true to her. Years after his death it was discovered that he’d a formed a second family, two children, with another woman.
posted February 16, 2008 at 12:42 am
Cleo…I was trying to find a quote last night when I ran across a couple sites that claim Charles had seven children in Europe, by
three women. One site claimed his relationships with these women began after Anne’s affair with her doctor. Charles Lindbergh’s interest in eugenics leaves a bad taste in my mouth…once read an article that quoted him describing AML coming from good genetic stock which was a strong influence in his selecting her. In the end I guess they both were merely mortals after all…but what an incredibly wise and beautiful soul Anne Morrow Lindbergh is.
posted February 16, 2008 at 1:39 pm
Oh, I never heard about Anne’s affair, seems difficult to believe but I’m biased. She appeared to be so exquisitly sensitive and kind. The death of her baby must have devastated her for the duration, poor soul, not just the baby being killed but what she went through when he was taken from his crib.
Charles had a sick interest in Eugenics and he was in agreement with what was going on in Germany, at the time he was one very hot supporter of Germany.
Yes, you’re right, they were merely mortals, though I feel more inclined to pity and understand her than him. Only one thing he said remains with me “The more you have the more you’ve to worry about”, I don’t know if he lived by this maxim or not, but it’s a good idea to contemplate and implement.
posted February 16, 2008 at 1:43 pm
Cont. in her book “Hour of lead, hour of gold” she writes about their courtship and she appears to feel so amazed at his having chosen her. She was in awe of him and he could have just married anyone as his popularity at the time and good looks made him very appealing to the ladies. Now it makes sense that he ‘selected’ her for her breeding, family status (dad was an ambassador) etc. rather than for her alone.
posted July 3, 2008 at 10:10 pm
I used this poem at my wedding and had people aske me for it down the road when they married. Oh I would say the first several years are the fiery love years and then the battle is not to stay in love but be in like and enjoyment of each other such as you were on your wedding day. AML was sensitive indeed but I personaly read thru her works and see she knew what her husband was doing and the love still knew no bounds,who knows maybe she was a woman before her time or just wasn’t bothered by what 80 percent of men do. Having a “secret” family now thats a huge betrayal for sure. I bet like you said grief makes one do crazy things. Most people who lose a child end up divorcing anyway.
posted July 22, 2008 at 3:07 pm
Anne Morrow Lindbergh is a heroine: a gifted writer who always seemed to have maintained her perceptiveness. So many of us do whatever we can to try to turn it off. Living with Charles Lindbergh would mean that she probably got discounted by him; her feekings and wants could have been “women’s stuff” to him. Having an affair would not be right, but more than likely to her lover she would have been real. How well did she and Charles know each other, or how much about each other, anyway? Mr. Lindbergh seems to have compartimentalized his whole life- including his marriage to Anne Morrow.