interesting.

I love you dearly, Therese, but I left the group BB because it is so depressing. I am all for helping eachother but we are not professionals and, for some, the stories and pain that we read about only adds to our own. And let’s not forget that somewhere along this road we will have to support ourselves and only rely in part on the kindness of others. I chuckled when one person going through (or into) a “everybody hates me nobody likes me” phase got upset with one of the most helpful people in the group – but it wasn’t funny. The one person wanted help but couldn’t see or accept it and the other person was trying to help but didn’t/doesn’t know what they are seeing. Even professionals would not attempt to help people that they don’t really know. Plus you have people who always need help/prayers/support and others who never get noticed.
Why don’t you try out a self-esteem forum where the members write positive things about themsleves rather than having positive things written about them by people who don’t really know them?
Blessings and hugz,
Cully

Cully:
A genuine question:
Why do you think DBSA/NAMI-type support groups work if you think BB doesn’t … the face-to-face contact?

A buudy system sounds great. Maybe it sould be someone without an illness or same type. They understand, but may not be grabbed down by it. My anxiety/OCD gets worse if I’m with those experiencing it. However I believe I could could help others with a differnet illness.
Too bad we can’t live in L’Arche or GheeL(?)Belgium.

Although I thnk Xully makes valid points, for me the SEF paitings gave resulted in genuine cyberfriend relationships where we have emailed one another beyond the initial contact “assignment. I cherish those new relationships and have received GREAT support,esprcially after informing one of them that my younger sister is teaching in THE INTERNATIONAL SCHOOL INPrishTina,Kossova(That’s the Kossovar spellings and I was worried about her safety after Sunday’s declaration. BTW, I’VE RECEIVED AN EMAIL NOW AND SHE REPORTS SHE’S FINE AND ACTUALLY “HAVING A SPECTACULAR TIME” WITNESSING FIRSTHAND THIS HISTORIC Transition”
i WAS ALSO ABLE TO EMAIL ONE OF THEM AFTER READING A “DOWN” COMMENT ON ONE OF THERESE’S POSTS WHEN I FELT LIKE I’d alread taken more than my share of comment space and offer my support in that more personal way. She emauiled back that it had come at JUST the right moment and that G-d had used me! You can just IMgine WHAT THAT DID FOR MY SELF-ESTEEM!! I guess what i’m trying to say is that I welcome any and all types of suport pairings or groupings that you decide to implement. I always take into consideration that neither I nor the other BBer with the exception of Barbara aka Babs is a professional and try to merely offer love,prayer and a listening ear.

I”m not much for writing long tombs tonight, but Margaret, that was very nice. I hope you continue to have such wonderful experiences.

Well, I think meeting someone else would be good for me right now- I am feeling rather isolated and because of that my self esteem is bad also.Most of my friends I have are from the net, I have even met my best friend who lives in Wisc- we met on a prematurity Bulletin board almost 9 yrs ago when our boys were born too early.
hugs
Jodi

The self-esteem forum where people post positive things about themselves sounds like a great idea. Why not try both that and a buddy system on Beyond Blue? People could see what works best for them.
I think everyone here is well aware that we’re not professionals and that professionasl would not attempt to help someone they don’t know. We’re here to provide whatever support we can, to people we know as well as we can in online exchanges. Wouldn’t a one-to-one relationship allow people to get to know each other better, and offer support with the caveat that we are clearly not professionals?
“Someday we will have to support ourselves and not rely on the kindness of others.” We all agree, and we are not online 24 hours a day. At those times we are trying to be self-sufficient and/or seeking professional help.
In the situation where one person was trying to help and the other couldn’t accept that help, that unsatisfying experience would become clear very quickly in a one-to-one relationship, and buddies could find other, more successful partnerships.

i think it is agreat idea. count me in as an older one with recovery.

I also think it’s a great idea! I still have my moments of depression but they are nothing compared to what I went through for a great many years. If I can help anyone with encouragement and just listening, I surely would like to!
God bless you all.

I, for one, think it’s a wonderful idea as I tend to isolate/hibernate myself from the world at the times when I need people the most. I’ve been looking in my area to see if there’s a group of people that meet, like a 12 step group of recovering alcoholics/addicts, a program for depressants like myself would be awesome!

re: Cully:
A genuine question:
Why do you think DBSA/NAMI-type support groups work if you think BB doesn’t … the face-to-face contact?
Posted by: Larry Parker | February 19, 2008 7:40 PM
Larry, it’s not that I don’t think groupBB doesn’t work – I am awed by many on that board and inspired. My point was that some of us (maybe all of us at different times) need to take inventory of all our good and Great qualities – we need to name them. I think that we need to get strong in recognizing our assets because though we can not always count on the kindness of others we can (as most of us will agree) expect the non-understanding and non-kindness (whether real or just our perception) of others. I believe that Therese formed BB and GroupBB to help people weather the storm and get stronger in wellness, and I just think that my idea would help do that. She asked, I answered.
As for NAMI and DBSA, in both orginizations I believe that whatever the activity – peer groups or presenters – the people leading the groups or speaking publicly are trained as well as living with (in recovery) mental illness. I worked with a group that helped domestic abuse victims and there the situations were pretty black and white. With mental illness there are a myriad of shadows in the grey-matter.
It’s one thing to share our experiences and what worked to help us – as someone who is still here and kickin’ my biggest desire is to help others – but sometimes those we are trying to help expect other things. I don’t want to set anyone off so if you want to dicuss this further you know what to do
Blessings and hugz,
Cully

re: The self-esteem forum where people post positive things about themselves sounds like a great idea. Why not try both that and a buddy system on Beyond Blue? People could see what works best for them.
I think everyone here is well aware that we’re not professionals and that professionasl would not attempt to help someone they don’t know. We’re here to provide whatever support we can, to people we know as well as we can in online exchanges. Wouldn’t a one-to-one relationship allow people to get to know each other better, and offer support with the caveat that we are clearly not professionals?
Posted by: Buddy | February 20, 2008 7:08 AM
Hi Buddy
I like your idea to try both – of course (why didn’t I think of/say that) it doesn’t have to be one or the other. As for everyone being well aware that we’re not professionals, let me just say that what we know and what we want do not always go hand in hand. There are people who have posted how thrilled they are to have found us only to leave (sometimes angrily) because we did not have all the answers. I understand this… in my throws of depression I was angry about 99% of the time (1% of the time I was zonked).
Blessings and hugz,
Cully

I can only post here, not in Beliefnet. Usually, when I’m depressed it’s very little someone can do for me. I’m sure it’s similar for everyone under the throes of depression. We close the door shut and ignore the knockings on it.

Therese,
Sign me up!!! I tend to have mostly good days but there are moments (usually when everyone else is doing great) that I need the support so if this buddy system takes off add me into the buddy list.
Things are improving after a 2 week all hell breaking loose around me but last few days it has simmered down some.
Sometimes just yelling to God “enough…let me catch my breath” seems to work for me.
Nan aka sixlittlekitties

re: Usually, when I’m depressed it’s very little someone can do for me. I’m sure it’s similar for everyone under the throes of depression. We close the door shut and ignore the knockings on it.
Posted by: CLeo | February 20, 2008 1:48 PM
CLeo, you nailed it as far as I am concerned… it wasn’t like this in the time between onset and “getting over it” (as they say) but that’s how it is now. I do this because I now know what will help and what will hurt (and that at these times I can be very un-helpful and hurtful).
Again, thanks for your post, it was an Aha! moment for me.
Blessings and hugz,
Cully

Thanks to you, Cully.
I keep near my computer a reproduction of a painting hanging at St.Paul’s Cathedral in London. In the painting Jesus is depicted holding a lamp in his hand while knocking on a door with the other. The door is covered with roots and the dried up tendrils of ivy. Someone told me “It means Jesus is knocking at the doors of your heart” Invariably this picture comforts me and makes me realize when I’m beginning to shut down the door and let the ivy grow over it, so nobody can find it.

I’ll bet he doesn’t have to knock long on your heart-door
Blessings and Love and hugz,
Cully

Thanks for responding, Cully.
But trust me, I ran into obstreperous people all the time when I did DBSA moderating, too. So I simply plowed ahead — trying to validate the angry folks’ feelings (but knowing they wouldn’t come back), while attempting to give support and comfort to the remaining attendees who genuinely wanted it (via gently steering the conversation).

I think Buddy System sounds good. I’m schizoaffective (bipolar with psychotic features). What I struggle most with are depression and anxiety, but if there is anybody out there with voices or delusions it would be great.

Re Marquos; How would I know if I WAS deluded? I’m not even sure I’m bi-polar. Possibly mildly OCD and anxiety depressive.(and a partridge in a pear tree). I do know I am symptomatic of a lot of things, but mostly I’m guessing.

I think that what ever helps one, and it doesn’t hurt to explore in all ways possible. I myself enjoy the Self Esteem Letter Program, it’s double therapy for me. I learn the good things about me that I never seen just by them reading about me, and I also am learning to see the good in others, which I’ve never real notice. While finding out I’m not alone in this World I hide from.
Thank You Therese. and Larry.
I think that exploring helps the knowledge, and I have come alot futher then visiting a theripist that as no understanding, because they have never experinced what I have in my life, and do to BB and B/N I am learning to understand more about me and others. I am opening up more from my locked down world of fears, hates, mistrusts, that are imbedded deep within me.