No kidding! and it works for business relationships and friendships as well.
One thing though that we never want to forget or “keep for later” is to tell the people we love that we love them.
Blessings, BIG hugz, and lots of Love,
Cully

cully that is so true.

Well I could’nt agree more! I think the more times I’ve bitten my tongue rather than give vent to my real thoughts has paid off in spades! Besides the fact that I’m frequently wrong, silence is definitely golden for me. It is often better to let other people do the talking until I actually know what they’re talking about. The proverb goes “It is better to be thought of as a fool…then to open your mouth and prove it!”

When I learned that everything that came into my head didn’t need to be said, I knew I was finally maturing. It was just a couple of years ago, and I am in my fifties. Marriage has improved immeasureably since then.

Babs, I would bet that not only marriage, but LIFE IRSELF has imoroved immeasurably. Isn’t there a book floating around out ther titled “What You Think Of Me Is none Of My Business?” Yet how quick many of us are to practically INVITE others to pass jugment on us (“Tell mr what you REALLY think?” or perhaps even worse, have come to see “brutal honesty” as something to strive for. Honesty? Yes…brutal? Unecessary and often hamnful, sometimes deliberately so, even if on a subconscious level. I’ve learned that for myself the times when U tend to seek the input of others are often the times when I LEAST need to hear it!(Always in the name of “being honest, of course. What poppycock! Howselfdefeating to ask or listen to the very people who are least likely to understand as id their comments are a kind of holy grail! Much better (For ME, anyway) to journal or write letters to myself. Yet, eben with that (fairly new( awareness, I’m as quick as the next person to feel like someone else absolutely NEEDS to hear everything I have to say as if I’m some kind of maharaji gury or something!

Restraint of tongue and pen (or keyboard) has served me well in many instances. Then, it’s also about addressing things that need to be brought up that can be even more difficult – it’s an ongoing process in the journey.
Nancy L.

WOW! if those aren’t the wisest words I’ve heard in a very long time, then I don’t know what wise is!
Restraint is easiest when you don’t suffer from bipolar disorder though, or you do but don’t acknowledge it. I was always ‘diagnosed’ by teachers as an “impulsive child” and as one who “doesn’t pay attention, yet gets the work down”. Too bad in those days there weren’t the tools to diagnose impulsive and absent minded children!
But being naturally impulsive brings us lots of grief. Many times I’ve heard myself saying things, that I didn’t know I planned to say. No excuse, but true.

Nancy L.:
Good to see you!
Boy, is this a lesson I need to learn. And not just for relationships.
(Ironic that someone so introverted and diplomatic most of the time is also so da*n stubborn …)

It doesn’t matter how much I don’t say in my relationship with my husband. and till this day I have not changed, I just let it build up and build up and then end up exploding, My husband knows me like a book and when he sees this build up happening he will sit me down and try to get me to open up, But I am stubburn, because I have been a close book for a long time. It’s hard to say everything I want to say daily, so it’s a one day at a time step for me, But either way it’s good to have one that wants to know whats on you mind and is willing to compromise to make things right and work things out.