Love Note #21

Babs, I would bet that not only marriage, but LIFE IRSELF has imoroved immeasurably. Isn't there a book floating around out ther titled "What You Think Of Me Is none Of My Business?" Yet how quick many of us are to practically INVITE others to pass jugment on us ("Tell mr what you REALLY think?" or perhaps even worse, have come to see "brutal honesty" as something to strive for. Honesty? Yes...brutal? Unecessary and often hamnful, sometimes deliberately so, even if on a subconscious level. I've learned that for myself the times when U tend to seek the input of others are often the times when I LEAST need to hear it!(Always in the name of "being honest, of course. What poppycock! Howselfdefeating to ask or listen to the very people who are least likely to understand as id their comments are a kind of holy grail! Much better (For ME, anyway) to journal or write letters to myself. Yet, eben with that (fairly new( awareness, I'm as quick as the next person to feel like someone else absolutely NEEDS to hear everything I have to say as if I'm some kind of maharaji gury or something!

WOW! if those aren't the wisest words I've heard in a very long time, then I don't know what wise is!
Restraint is easiest when you don't suffer from bipolar disorder though, or you do but don't acknowledge it. I was always 'diagnosed' by teachers as an "impulsive child" and as one who "doesn't pay attention, yet gets the work down". Too bad in those days there weren't the tools to diagnose impulsive and absent minded children!
But being naturally impulsive brings us lots of grief. Many times I've heard myself saying things, that I didn't know I planned to say. No excuse, but true.

It doesn't matter how much I don't say in my relationship with my husband. and till this day I have not changed, I just let it build up and build up and then end up exploding, My husband knows me like a book and when he sees this build up happening he will sit me down and try to get me to open up, But I am stubburn, because I have been a close book for a long time. It's hard to say everything I want to say daily, so it's a one day at a time step for me, But either way it's good to have one that wants to know whats on you mind and is willing to compromise to make things right and work things out.