Speaking of the day you were born. Have you ever wondered what happened the moment you were conceived????
I’ve often contemplated the origins of my bipolar disorder.
I’m thinking that on that fateful day when my dad’s swimmers caught up with my mom’s egg, an accident happened similar to the day I drove Eric’s swimmers to his urologist to see if we got the green light to go for it without any form of birth control.
For those who have never bought their husbands two packages of frozen corn and pees, this is how a vasectomy works: after surgery, your male gets to clean out his swimmers 25 times. You, or the lucky person who gets the job, takes the 26th batch to the urologist to see if the healthy guys are now paralyzed, disabled swimmers who couldn’t catch an egg if they tried.
You have two hours from the time he squirts his stuff to the hour the nice nurse behind the counter takes your brown bag and says, “Thank you.”
That’s where I went wrong. I waited, of course, an hour and a half before taking the batch of Special Olympics swimmers to the doctor. So with a half hour to go, I was frantically looking for a paper bag.
No bags. Just the one that had been made into an owl puppet, a stupid crafts project I did with the kids after reading an article that said good moms make puppets. So I plopped Eric’s guys in the owl bag and rushed to the doc.
They are supposed to call within 72 hours. It had been 98. No call.
So I called them. “Look,” I said over the phone, “I dropped the guys off like five days ago. Did they swim away? They were the bad boys in an owl bag.”
“So sorry, Ma’am, but we seem to have lost that batch.”
I made my lovely husband produce yet another school of fish, who made it safely to the home of the Terminator and were officially declared defective!!!!
What does this crazy story have to do with my conception??
I believe that at the moment my mom’s egg was fertilized God thought he had the owl bag, the formula of wisdom, but accidentally dumped the genes of the Cuckoo Bird into my mom. Either that or my twin sister, with whom I shared the womb, stole all the good stuff and left me with the waste.
That’s just one theory. I have plenty of others.
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No pun or other funny intended but the conception thing hit close to home. Being factual and not trying to say anything bad, some women are better engineered for being child bearers than others. My mom could get pregnant but there after it was misery for everyone involved. The first child made it to birth but expired within a day. I was child number two. Although I was there, I don't recall the details so I have to go with what I have been told.
First, at the time of my birth, Mom and I were both UGLY sick. My Dad had to "push" to get the nurses to accept us. A doctor later told him that in a few hours we would have been dead. So we have birth. The doc's figure mom has about a 50/50 chance. Me, they write off. Something about my throat. "Wait a minute Guys! Reconsider this!" Then one of them rethinks it and decides to try something. Part of me would really like to know the details and part of me thinks maybe I am better off not knowing.
That all took place fif(mumble, mumble) years ago and I am still breathing. But then there are genetics... and environment. By the time I was starting grade school my dad was listing as 100% disabled by the VA. Being on the front lines of WWII, having people getting blown apart all around you will do strange things to a person. Plus, his genetic material was already set for depression and all things related. Oh, that was the part that got passed to me. I really can't recommend growing up in an environment with a crazy person.
Hey Nancy L., what you said about nurture and nature, and especially about Oprah's current insanity; I second the motion. Otherwise you have to believe that every group ever "set aside for cleansing" just were not thinking the right thoughts!
Lastly, and belatedly, Hippo-Birdie to you, Theresa.
Take Care
Richard M.
Paula:
Again, I not only have deep empathy for your situation, I HAVE BEEN THERE MYSELF. I certainly wish you comfort and self-forgiveness for your own pain.
But I still can't help but feel that specifically noting Therese and Eric are in "grave mortal sin" IYHO (at a time when Therese is desperately struggling) was piling on. (IMHO.)
To answer your other question -- in my initial Beliefnet forays, I was on some forums where Orthodox Jews were active and, in their belief (google Rabbi Shmuley Boteach's article here on Bnet for the full explanation) my spelling out the full name of G-d was blasphemy.
Obviously most Bnet readers are not Orthodox Jews. (Nor am I -- lapsed Catholic is more like it.) But I have kept the appellation in recognition of the fact G-d is a Mystery we humans can never fully know.
Good theory. Very humorous. It brings to my mind a post I wrote (which I hope you don't mind promoting) called "My Bipolar: A Socio-Historical Perspective 1963-64" that can be found at -ttp://pistolpete.wordpress.com/2008/02/10/my-bipolar-a-socio-historical-perspective-1963-64/
Thanks for the post. I like what you're doing.
I made a mistake "My Bipolar..." can be found at http://pistolpete.wordpress.com/2008/02/10/my-bipolar-a-socio-historical-perspective-1963-64/
Thank you.
I know what happened when I was conceived!!! My dad was an alcoholic (sperm was drunk)my mother was always depressed (her egg not normal) and I ended up with both counts!!
All kidding aside...it isn't so much "just" our screwed up brains causing the problems but the environment we are raised and the morals and values we receive.
Years of brain washing along with our genes make it easier to have mental issues later in life.
I can't remember how many times my mother tossed out my father over drinking...and for years I tossed out otherwise great guys over small little stuff. Now I realize it was a power struggle my parents were having and I found myself repeating what I was taught.
I was just talking with my cousin earlier today about the "good old days" when we were all under 15 and the family get togethers and how even back when we were around 7-9 years old the family "mental" battles our Aunts would have with each other and continue to have.
We don't know exactly how we avoided turning out like them (at times we find ourselves thinking like they do) but thankfully we support and encourage each other when the other is falling apart by reminding each other that we don't have to repeat the mistakes from our parents past.
Nancy aka sixlittlekitties
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