Beautiful comment and prayer. Thank you for bringing the beauty and contenplation of the stations of the cross to a non-Catholic.

Wouldn’t it be/have been really cool if instead of, “Give me courage to come right up to you?and to ask you?to help me to carry my cross” the prayer said, Give me the courage to come right up to you and ask if I could help carry your cross.
What Jesus did benefits us all… wasn’t his dying enough? Do we also feel comfortable asking him to carry the consequences of our mistakes as well?

Therese -
Thank you for this post. I really appreciate the prayer you posted along with it.
I keeps it simple for me, and my brain and body are more complicated today than others.
My older son when to visit his father for the first time in 2 l/2 years. I know intellectually how to process this situation; however, much to my dismay, my short comings – particularly anger has held me hostage after my son gave me some feedback on his father.
I realize that I am allowing the anger to be with me, and I am not a victim. My son’s attitude (it always sucked after being with his father) and his glowing terms he used about him unleashed the worse within me. I had to process the flood of emotions that I have had a reprieve from regarding him.
Some of it is self-righteous anger and self-pity. Yet some of it is justified. So what – it gets me no where. It’s not about him reconnecting with his father; it’s putting him back up on the pedestal after spending l l/1 hours with him and returning as cocky as his father is.
Just because my ex-husband has cancer doesn’t make him a good person. I can understand let go and let God, live and let live, but last night was a feeling as though I got sucker-punched.
There is so much I could write (actually spew) about this, but I won’t bore you all with more. I have an emotional hangover. It’s not a great combination with the other illnesses.
So, today I think of the stained glass window in my church. The one which is of Jesus holding a lamb with others gathered at his feet. I need to be held today. I need the comfort and peace that passes all understanding in spite of myself.
I have asked for him to carry this cross as I decompress. He’s got much broader shoulders than I do. I am at my weakest, physically and somewhat emotionally.
I am changing my plans around and my presence for Easter this year. I have to recognize and accept my limitations this year. It’s not what I would prefer, but I see how vulnerable I am. I’m not geared up and prepared to deal with the other characters in my life.
Wow – it’s amazing how things can come back when old wounds are reopened. I am sorry if this sounds like a pity party, which is not my intention. I’m just totally wiped out, and I know this is a safe place to share.
Thanks
Nancy L.

Nancy:
I’ve been there; it’s SO hard to be thedaily parent as opposed to the part time parent who cn just show up once in a while, do fun stuff or bring a present and then depart leaving YOU to deal with the real parenting issues. I hope it will give you at least of measure of comfort to know that most of these kids grow up and figure out who it was who loved them enough to actually RAISEd them. The cockiness fades with a little age as well! If I had just a single penny for each time my own son has apologied for his youthful arogance and thanked me for being the one who set limits, i’d be a rich woman indeed! Have faith; that day will come for you as well. You’re in my prayers, dear heart.

Margaret – Thank you SO much for your kind words of support. You’re right on all areas that you touched. Having that area of my life quiet for over 2 years, I forgot the possibilities and emotional ramifications of it reopening.
It’s taken a couple of days, but I’m coming through the other side. It’s the same for my husband. The man who’s been in their lives since they were 5 and 8. Someone reminded my husband that they come back and reappear as thoughtful human beings between the ages of 25 – 30 !!
So, there’s hope. Even though in most respect their great kids. Funny part is that the younger one is home from college for Easter and won’t mention his father. Selfishly I feel relief. Not in him “punishing” his father. It’s each their own call as to what they want to do. I’m just on my last reserve of nerve cells and don’t want to hear about him (their father).
This may sound selfish. I haven’t lived a selfish life. It’s been a sick one these days, and I’ve got little reserve left to give. I was compassionate when I first heard the news. I even cried for both my ex-husband and son. Well – that changed quickly. Who knew that I week later I’d be crying because of them.
You know what? I forgot. Not having the dynamics of this area to deal with for a while, I forgot what it was like. When the kids use to visit their father, I had to develop the skill of “wearing them like a loose garment” for approximately 24-48 hours after their return.
It took a while to figure out that I did not like the people my kids turned into while with him, and rather than upset myself or engage, I would keep a distance (not in a punishing manner) and eventually the toxicity would wear off. Well here it is years later,and wham! in a short visit – there it was again. Painful.
Again, Margaret, thank you so very much for your words of empathy and support. It gives me the hope that the light at the end of this tunnel isn’t a freight train.
Thank you for sharing your own experience,strength and hope.
Nancy L.

(((Nancy L.)))

Jesus died on the Cross & rose on the 3rd day so we wouldn’t have to carry the burden of our baggage; as well as sins alone. All we need is have the courage to ask for help from Him in Prayer. As well as meditation with the spirit & angels. We shouldn’t be ashamed to even ask for any human help because Jesus can’t be everwhere that’s why He has the medical profession, family, & friends.

Nancy, Yes you are so right this IS a safe place to vent. I can understand your frustration with your sons. Sometimes children especially boys don’t feel comfortable being compassionate. Somehow it makes them less “manly”. It’s no wonder this is difficult and upsetting! They will ,in time, no doubt come to realize what a treasure they have in you. Family is precious and there is nothing like a mother’s enduring love, save the love of God. Be strong and know you have willing ears to listen here. (\o_o/)