I ended a toxic relationship I knew the truth deep down that this person was not my soul mate. I continued until a couple of days ago he called me and explained that we we couldn’t go fishing as we had planned and said you understand why right. I had a gut feeling that something else was going on and I always trust my gut it has keept me out of harms way.
I don’t know where the words I said to him came from I told him that I had enough that I deserve to be treated better and that he wasn’t the man I thought he was and I ended it. I had owed him some cash and being the lady that I am I gave it to his friend to give to him because something in my heart tells to sever all ties. I am hurting but you know not as much as I thought I would be I feel empowered and know that there is someone for me and one day with Gods help I will meet my soul mate.

I have always been the “soul searching”, trying to understand myself type. I had busted up with an abusive boyfriend because I knew it was harming me, but I loved him a lot, so it hurt beyond belief when I did it. It’s always easier to break off with someone when you hate them, or your really mad, but not when you still love someone so much and want things still to work with them.
I joined a “group therapy” for women coming out of abusive relationships at a free or sliding scale clinic. One of the best moves I ever made. That led me to an assertiveness training class that taught me things I wish I would have know my whole life.
My mother was great for making us feel guilty about everything (centering around her, of course). I’m coming out of this terrible relationship, going thru divorce, and she’s trying to make me feel guilty over some miniscule thing that she had used to get her way for years. After taking that class, I just looked at her, I’ll never forget, we were in the upstairs bathroom of my apartment, and I said, “I will not accept guilt from you anymore. You just aren’t going to make me feel guilty any longer”.
I felt so liberated, even tho I had a wee bit of doubt as I said the words, kind of that “fake it till you make it” type thing. It worked! She knew her tactics weren’t going to work on me any more. Unfortunately she still had my sister, whom I tried to share this secret with, but it was the end of it for me! That was my Exodus. It has helped me so much since that time when people have tried to manipulate me by guilt.

i am a devout minimalist – i worship simplicity – yet somehow i just never got things into perfect or even near perfect order – i got better at it but never quite got ‘there’ – then i read three books by elaine st james on simplifying your life living the simple life and inner simplicity – there was nothing in those books i had not thought of but somehow it set me off in the direction i wanted – i started seeing everything in categories and i would organize declutter and clean categories as they came to mind – in less than a week my life was not just zen fit it was zen buff – it was like magic (i had thought that: ‘i wish there were some way it could just magically come together in perfect order’) – i was blown away and so happy – my apartment is so simple and organized i can clean it in the time it takes to run a tub – this has left me with only the last frontier to declutter – my mind !

The term bardo is used in eastern cultures to explain the pause between life and death, the here and now, night and day. It is a critical point in your life when you are waiting to be reborn, but first must die, when you are engulfed in pain, and relief only comes after you enter this night of darkness and embrace its loneliness. At the intersection of every bardo is that place where fate and free will collide. Fate brings us to the collision. Free will determines what we will look like after the crash.
Bardo speaks to the idea that if we are blessed with the gift of time, we will have multiple opportunities in our lives to be reborn higher (wiser) beings in the next season of our emotional lives. To do so requires a spiritual transformation, and a willingness to expose our lives to the light of judgment.
During the fall of 2006, I did something I’d always wanted to do and enrolled in a meditation class. Each Tuesday night during the fall and early winter, I learned how to “relax into the now” and allow my soul to drift. I was never hung up on birthdays, but turning forty left me with a daunting feeling that I just couldn’t shake. Mike, my best friend since childhood turned forty a month after me so I called him up hoping he might be able to provide me with some comfort and insight into how I was feeling. I asked him if by any chance he’d been thinking about dying. He admitted that he had, and I was grateful I wasn’t the only one.
I came to understand that my recurring thoughts about dying were really just invitations to reexamine my life, opportunities for introspection that would prepare me to receive the gifts of the soul that presents itself at various stages in our lives. Though I couldn’t yet name the destinations, I was acutely aware that there were many more places I still needed to travel. My life was not over, it was just being reborn.

I became free when I gave my life to God…free from worry, free from the need to be everything to everyone and to have everything, and to have it be perfect. I always wanted and sometimes still give into the desire to be in control. In control of my relationships, my work, every aspect of my life. Why? Because nobody else could do it as perfectly as I do, right? Oh, how wrong I was. I realized I can’t be all things to all people, that I can’t do it all on my own, and that the future is not of my design, but of God’s will and plan for me. I’m alright with that, really, I am. In fact, it is a relief to not carry all that responsibility. I have learned to trust in my God and to have faith that he will never leave my side and he won’t let anything occur in my life that he cannot remain by my side to assist me. Do you know how free that makes me? It’s right up there with how it must have felt for God’s people seeing him part the Red Sea! It’s amazing and empowering.