Dear Therese, I watched your video today. I was surprised to hear you describe a “falling” as a black hole. I also describe it that way.
When I feel myself falling it starts out as my “gray area”. When full blown than I’m in the “Black Hole” I do take Prosac daily. 20 mgs.
On days that I feel blue I have to increase my dose. I always warn my husband that I’m falling. His support is most needed. What I can’t stand is getting depressed, feeling depressed because I’m depressed and then having people ignore me. At this time I need more hugs, kisses and attention than at any other time.
I do walk for 1 1/2 hours every day listening to music and walking to the beat. I also ride my bike. swimming is great. But sometimes I don’t even feel like walking. I just want to hide in my “place”, sometimes read but mostly I just go to sleep. I just recently was let go from the Olive Garden in Port Charlotte, Fl. after 3 years of service for not ringing in a desert. Now that season is over no one hiring for the summer, and they are fighting me on unemployment. I have tried getting another job but no one is hiring. I know that some of my gray area is because I’m not working. Which keeps me busy and I love talking with my guests. some know me and know about my depression and some can see it in me. They talk to me, give me ideas and strength.
Now I don’t have that “relationship” on the outside of my home and I get sad, being alone. Even though my husband is here along with 2 teenagers, they all have something to do during the day. I am alone alaot of the time. I do spend time cleaning, laundry, cooking etc. but that takes up only a portion of the day. I can’t wait til school is out and Jacks work day is over. But by that time of day I have already begun falling into the deeper hole.
So I just wanted to let ;you know that you video today was of great strength, knowing someone else struggles like I do. I listened to so many of your comments that are me.
Thank you for the help and strength you have given me today.
I’m going for a walk !!! LOL
Love in Christ, Penny Russell

I am not a celebrity, really – but I do have 1/2 a dot on some fansites! So I feel I can talk from the nitty-gritty of showbiz, I think.
Acting is a very hard thing to do. I never realized how spiritually challenging it would be. I think I had tendencies toward bipolar 2 – mostly down – but it’s also true that the stressful life I have been living for the last 30 years has contributed to it, too!
That quasi-manic energy (I call it “performance energy”) is always there to be tapped. And we performers feel much better when we can release that creative pressure! All too often it’s to either extreme – either little or no release – or overload.
If I had been on meds years ago, maybe I wouldn’t have screwed up so many auditions to some degree because of my nerves. I find that I am MUCH more relaxed nowadays – but that has taken years of therapy, spiritual practice and, of course, balanced meds!
I feel as if our moods can manifest as storms which overwhelm us. But we also can learn how to be better surfers, or sailors, if you will, of our psychic waters and weather. The better you know the territory, the better you get at piloting your way through successfully.