Hi T.
Are you okay? Don’t forget: You’re the BEST. M.

Isn’t LIFE, with bipolar or not, one day at a time?

wow this has to be so hard.
my dear friend has this and just doesn’t talk about it.
she has been ok for awhile I think I hope
wow has to be hard.
I was so scared once for her so scared she was in the hospital and nothing was working they had put meds in her that would knock most people out for a week Ironically as a very last resort they did a number of shocks and it worked and no permanent memory was lost at first some was lost but over time it came back she has a much much better memory than me.

Lisa,
It’s always wonderful to hear “good” news! Thank you for sharing.

I have to get that book, people dont understand how we (people who are bipolar) treasure those days when we are productive “For this day, at least, I am sane,” that is powerful for me that means my children have a real mother, I am a real wife and homemaker. sometimes I get a couple months or as little as a couple days, but I am grateful for whatever I get so I may give it to my family.

THANK-YOU,I UNDERSTAND. S. H.

Thank you for that post. I lived with a husband that was diagnosed with manic/bipolar. For years I thought that was just his personality. I would always tell the kids to stay clear when dad was in his “bad mood”, I learned a lot since then. I learned to love him with all his problems and that not only helped him but it helped me to me a more considerate and understanding person. It is a very difficult disease and I feel sorry for those that suffer it but maybe it is in this world to show and teach others how to love unconditionally and also not to judge others to quickly and to harse. I lost my husband last May and I miss him very much. I pray for you little cafe girl and I wish you many many years of peace. God Bless You!

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((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Patricia)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Am I mentally disordered? Yes, I am Bipolar. I go through intense phases of high energy of happiness or rage to a flip side of down time and complete depression. My Bipolar is rapid cycling, alternating between the two states on a weekly to daily basis. I can be happy or angry, or just in an unpleasant mood. It can last an hour, it can last for days. But I have increased activity and energy at times, more than normal, very speedy. Thoughts are so fast they are hard to comprehend, they get jumbled. My talking becomes fast as if I can’t get it out fast enough. I make unreasonable goals and expectations, going for days without sleep. In an angry state, I canwage war for days on end. The down time and depression is more frequent and lenghty. I will have no energy and find it hard to get out of bed for days on end. I am restless and irritable. I have little or no interest in things that usually bring me enjoyment. Feelings of hopelessness and worthlessness overwhelm me. I am very pessimistic and think of dying.
Truth is, maybe I can shed some light by sharing my story. If even the simple life of a homemaker with two children. My days are anything but simple. Each is met with a new challenge. This is a complex disorder, with multiple issues, each I face daily on numerous levels. There is light at the end of the tunnel. I have family, my husband, and children, and the new medication Abilify that has changed my life.

I am glad that you have a place to go where you feel comfortable & can be undisturbed as you try to write. Bi-polar disorder is an illness that affects every family member. My husband was hospitalized many times over the years and on one occasion as I was driving to the hospital to visit him, I was feeling completely over-whelmed and extremely angry at the disruption of our lives. Suddenly, a thought, feeling or voice from out of nowhere drifted through my consciousness, “Remember………you are angry at the disease, not the
person.” That was a turning point for me and enabled me to draw on the strength I needed to be there for my husband when he needed me the most.

It is mostly a hardship, but who else can be me? And, my daughter is only 9, but she is so perceptive. Without bipolar illness, she’d probably be weaker mentally. We are the pearls created from the friction we run into, be it with teachers, police, friends, family, all are potential players in the novel we each are writing.
I would love to finally write my life story down, because it is interesting–even to ME! I take minimal meds and get lots of good feedback from the extra hard work I attempt and am successful at doing; and when my husband doesn’t like me–maybe, he doesn’t like me because there’s so much to take in! What the bipolar person goes through in a week must be equal to a year if they were normal. The ups & downs, the dramas, the hilarity and the tears. I won’t give it up–that’s why I don’t want to be downed out by too much medication. People feel better when they feel everything–that’s my motto.
To live minimally is to feel as if everything were whitewashed and even and clean. But the real world ain’t clean; it’s noisy and naughty and filled with the screams and cries of children and suppressed screams and cries of adults. This year, I became a helper out there instead of just a moneymaking machine, and it’s healing me. I work with kids as a paraprofessional at the school. What an eye opener, that my work can actually fit in with my emotional needs–not just my pocketbook (because it doesn’t fit in my pocketbook and it’s way too short). Just to see over the mountain is great.

Hi everyone, I too, have been diagnosed with bi-polar disorder. Right before I was, I was like a tornado ripping through each day. Wondering what kind of mood I would be in for that day. I didn’t know from one minute to the next if I loved my husband. I started to self medicate to feel better. I was a complete mess. Then I found a doctor that helped me. She put me on Lamictal and Lexapro, what a difference in my life. I feel so much better and the mania is more manageable. I want to live today and my husband now doesn’t feel like he’s married to 7 different women. For me, I have to have a strong spiritual connection with God and I attend A.A. meetings to help with the addictive behavior I have. My life is so much easier to handle having the awareness of it all. Thanks for sharing.

My daughter is 35, a single parent of a lovely 14 year old daughter and she is bipolar and has been since the age of 15.
Why my daughter? Why my family? Why? After all my ramblings at God and the heavens above, I say “it could be worse.” It could be a terminal disease. It could be a disease for which there is no cure.
It could be much worse.
Altho, my daughter’s episodes have been few and far between, the last one is 2007 lasted almost a year and consisted of totally hypermanic events.
She got thru it. We are now estranged [the episodes were my fault--so said my daughter] but I pray for my daughter and my granddaughter every day. Some years ago there was no medication and that must have been awful. There was no hope for a person with bipolar disorder.
This, thank God, is the 21st Century and medicine is making great strides with bipolar disorder and remedies that work.
With life comes hope and I can’t and won’t lose hope that my daughter will be placed on a course that will give her the life she wants to live. Peace. Love and Joy to you, my beautiful girl.

That’s a pretty good description of the inside of my skull right now. I have to catch myself when I want to strangle something! Luckily it’s gotten a little easier though thanks to my cognitive effort to “prevent future regret.” I can like myself or at least understand what’s happening to me better now. Although it is similar to having a caged beast inside. A restless spirit always looking for a way to escape and wreck havoc on an unsuspecting world! HA! The world is not nearly so innocent, but not unsalvageable yet. Isn’t that why we christians are still hanging around after all these centuries?

Hi (((Lorraine,)))
My heart breaks for you today…
But God Has A Divine Plan. However, there are times it does Not Look “Divine” from Our View.
You may feel the rest of the world is living the day portrayed by the Hallmark TV (Grossly False) image.
However, if you can picture how embroidery on hoops is created it may help.
Sitting (down) on the floor and looking up, all you see is a lot of knots and stings starting, stopping and seemingly going nowhere. Quite a mess. But on the other (top) side it makes a beautiful picture.
I know you hurt because you are not all together today … but what is True is:
Our Heavenly Father Is Holding Both Your Hands.
Lorraine, You Can trust in His Divine Plan for Your Family.
“Weeping last for a night,,,but Joy Will Come in the morning”

((((((((((Congratulations, Lynne, on your progress!))))))))))

When I read the things that you all say about bi-polar disorder I can’t relate. I have been diagnosed for several years had more that one Dr. and the thing I have come to believe is, this does not get better, it only gets subdued for small amounts of time. I always feel guilty about something. I struggle not to cry at the smallest thing. I try to think where I could move to that would make me more comfortable. That place of course does not exist. I would have to take myself with me. Know what I mean? I don’t feel comforted by the existence of God. I’m afraid I will live a long time feeling just like this.
Each time I’m put on a different med. It works well for a few months at best, then I fall into the pit. Guess you can tell thats where I am now. I’m am glad for those of you that seem to do so well.
I fell like a big complainer. This is MY reality. Glad for those who don’t share it.

I have been bipolar most of my life, although only admitting it for the last 12 years. I am now 37, married for 10 years and a Mom of 2 beautiful sons. I have FINALLY found a competent psychiatrist in Chicago. He has given me stability for the first time. It is actually a strange feeling and sometimes I feel uncomfortable when things are “okay.” Up and down is all I have known. I have become good at being bipolar. In my 20′s I suffered very quick cycles and everyone around me just tried to understand- of course they couldn’t! How could they? Now I suffer more Manic episodes and less depression. While I still suffer mild swings, most of them go up! I talk very fast, can’t complete thoughts or full sentences. My memory is horrible, I get very irritable and impatient with everyone and everything. I love to shop without remorse – not a good thing for my marriage. Sleep is only with meds of course. Without meds I would be awake for days – literally. The worse part is when my skin crawls – it is painful and creepy. Noone can understand what it feels like to be uncomfortable in your own skin..unless they have been there. When mania begins it is fun – life of the party, center of attention, funny,great to be around. Those days seem to go quickly and then the real mania starts – it has to be one day at a time! There is no other way! Sometimes I break it down to hours. I do what I have to do. I have been blessed with overall stability due to my “cocktail” of meds but I still am bipolar and will ride the rollar coaster forever!

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Hi Mary Lou,
Your feelings are neither right nor wrong here. They are Your Feelings!
Please know that you are safe and welcome here to express them.
The Only Thing we Don’t want for you is to Give Up!!!
Consider yourself (((Mary Lou!)) ^I^
.

Nancy,
Your postings are always very descriptive; which makes them invaluable because of their helpfulness to:
* people who haver never been there.
* people who are experiencing the same thing and think they are the only one.
* all of us in the community – because it allows us to know how you’re doing.
Because…

To Nancy, you described me like no one has ever been able to come close to, not even the doctor’s. the racing thoughts, the feeling of my skin, the sleep deprivation without meds, the crazy high’s that last to a point i think i’m much better, than, the low’s start to creep in. The father of my three year old gets so upset with me, because i talk way too fast and alot of the time and don’t complete what it is i want to say. Thank you for your honesty, today will be different because i will try harder to pay attention to those “things” that happen in my “head”! Sincerely, Cathy

I am truly unsure of the whole bi polar thing when it comes to me. I had some problems with drugs and but not now more food sometimes drinking . I dont know what you call I have is highs . i get happy one moment then sad the next it can be right after another .People say you get rage of angry. I dont what I DO get is frustrated sometimes bad nerves.I do cry at the smallest of things then can be fine the next. i had a doctor think it was bi polar . I have had problems in the past with lying . I have problems holding relationships lately. as far as men I would love to be married with kids but I always have sex before i get to know them and then feel guilt and dont want to call them back . I had alot of sexual relation with too many men to I feel guilt about sex alot . The main thing I need help with is emotions I seem to make everyone around me mad at me . I always think people will hurt me in some way in the end . I began to trust no one . things go really go for me for weeks then i start back to no one likes me dis trusting people and over eating/ drinking sometimes then go back to everything is fine. shoping sex and eating took the place of drugs . now i try to double up paying by bills and trying harder not to blow money . I feel guilt for just being alive sometimes . I feel in the way even with family . I lost all friends and I lost a job due to lying and drugs . I dont just flip out and do something in rage . i just make wrong choices based on shear emotion driven . crying happy sad eating drinking and sex . I dont think i am bi polar cause I dont get the extreme angry feelings as much as I feel the world hates me . but i do get irritable sometimes . this is true honesty is this bi polar from what i know bi polar means your mean one minute and can be nice the next. I more crying one minute and happy the next or thinking people will hurt me one moment and fine the next mixed with frustrated . I try to think it is low self esteem . how do you know if you need the medicine . I know i cant balance my emotions i tried it almost cost me many jobs .