I'm getting better at reading my mood and recognizing signs of hypomania, but I still have a ways to go.
Thank God I have several good friends in my life who love me enough to tell me they think I'm headed toward danger.
Last week one such friend pointed out some clues to hypomanic behavior:
* Inappropriate humor. I accused a perky woman with whom I might have been a tad competitive of being manic-depressive.
* Plans to come to New York to interview 10 to 15 people (in a quick trip) like my videos of my guardian angel, Ann, and her husband, Dick.
* Forgetting about conversations and e-mails (two instances to be exact).
* Lots of exclamation points in my e-mails
So I asked Eric. He pondered this as he opened the fridge to get out the olives, and saw the three large containers of parmesan cheese (did you have a certain recipe in mind?), four packages of raviolis, and five pounds of broccoli.
"I'd have to say yes," he said, "unless there's a lot of company coming over that I don't know about."
Then some other clues came back to me:
* E-mailing my agent everything I was eating for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, because I thought she would find that interesting … what you can still eat after reading the book "Skinny Bitch."
* The idea for a radio show I pitched two weeks ago.
* Misplacing car keys and cell phones.
* Irritability with my dogs when they walk in front of me, less patience with my kids, and a shorter temper in general. Less padding with my mood—so that I'm a emotional yoyo depending on the day's events.
So here I am again, trying to do my best to quiet myself down, and turn my body the opposite way it wants to go, like Doc told Lightening McQueen in "Cars" ("turn left to go right"), waiting to hear from my doctor if she wants to change adjust my meds, doing my best to find the calm center in my interior castle, actually a four-story apartment, and eliminating caffeine (or at least cutting down) and all stimulants (that includes certain people, places, and things, as well). I'm trying become the laid-back and grounded person that I am so not.
I called up my friend Michelle today to get her insight and to figure out what to do. She's been with me through enough cycles that she can provide the much-needed context to the problem. Moreover, she can help me see the big picture, which I am unable to do at times when I'm in the midst of the storm.
She asked me some good questions: Is this behavior normal, or do you think these are signs of CM: creeping mania?
I liked that. Creeping mania. Because it is sneaky and creepy, and manipulative, this mania. All I know is that I feel good and productive. Which is why it is so damn difficult for a manic-depressive to identify her manias.
"I hate this illness," I said to her. "Whenever I feel good, I have to worry if I'm hypomanic. I can't even enjoy the good days."
"I know," she said, "I know. But it gets easier. Over time."
Because I know this woman doesn't lie, and because I know that she hasn't experienced any severe episodes in years, I can believe her.
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he sounds like a selfish man. every thing was fine when you were doing what he wanted to do,but when you wanted to become your own person,he turned his back on you.rise above it & be comfortable with who you are.all we truly have is ourself,so we need to love ourself & treat ourself like we would a good friend -with understanding.have fun with your writing.it`s good therapy.good luck.you are not alone.love,Boo
You are crazy.Depression is caused by big government and big businuses that do not give a damn about anything but raping the public and keeping them suppressed or on prescription (legal) drugs.
I've been diagnosed with bi-polar disorder a few years back after I got a hold of my personality disorder (like 3 faces of eve) with more like sybil. N E ways I am going thru something right now it is I feel more than manic or creeping manic I just finished my second college degree and I have no job and no money so I am at home just on this computer all day and night neglecting my hubby really. There is a reason for that a whole different story I am trying to keep from getting depressed and suicidal just the thoughts but nontheless I need a friend cause I don't have any I am sexually frustrated cause I prefer not to have intercourse with my husband I have nightmares of crazy stuff that is related to my past I would see someone but I've been in and out of therapy for the past 25 years to the point I find the theropists today just a tad slow and ignorant so U shy from them too I need someone to talk to that is mature and really knows what I am going thru without telling me what I should do cause believe it or not I am well aware of the surroundings in my life but Itoo know that there is a time and a season for all things I just need adult mature conversation and support cause I really have none. That is why I feel I am sexually misplaced cause that's how I felt in the past but I am a grown woman now 42 to be exact, so is it someone out there who empathize with me enuff to email me or something? glendamonges@yahoo.com HOPE TO HEAR FROM U SOON!!!!!!!!!!
I have all the the disorders above,
Sometimes there will be days I almost feel "normal"
almost too good,That I can do anything,
Then I wake up the next day,
as if someone else has taken over,
fear, depression, panic attacks
all i can do is hold on,
because hopefully the day will be better,
i find if i pray ,it helps
so lost and so afraid,
i feel like a child who has no where to go
i pray for all,
I read every story on this subject of Creeping Mania and others about depression and anxity. No one is alone here.I have been on both sides of these issues.As a therapeist and a patient, many times throughout the past 30 years.It really does not matter where you are, on your highest high or your lowest low, knowing who you are and what you are capiable of, is the most important of any given state of mind.
This is my first time to post here and would be willing to listen to anyone and everyone. All of US are special and unique to one another.
I am new to the internet & did not know that such sites existed. You would have thought that someone with 15 years of higher education, would have known this.Nope.Did not know such a wonderful site like this was aviable to all.
I can understand where everyone here feels safe and comfortable to tell their story. It is great to see such a varity of stories, all with some commonality. I love the idea that there are no judges, there are no right(s) or wrong(s) just people being themselves. What a wonderful concept.
Whatever theripes work for each individual is only know to the one who is seeking help. My guess is that there are as many different treatments as there are patients. And that what works today may not work in the future. We are ever changing beings and must learn to adapt accordingly.
I am looking forward to being a part of this group and am delighted to be blessed with all of your stories.
Some Food For Thought:
There is no future in your past.
Remember when the world pushes you to your knees, you're in the perfect position to pray.
"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow. It empties today of its strength." Corrie Ten Boom
"Although the world is full of suffering, it is full also of the overcoming of it. " Hellen Keller
To all of you, May you find peace and happiness, living in the moment !! Have yourself a God filled, God blesses, Godsome day...
Len
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