Suicide is never the answer to any problem. Because it brings on more questions for the loved ones left behind. These questions go unanswered mostly because the one can answer them is gone. There might be a note but the only thing that sort of answers is the why for the suicide. But what was the reasons that brought on the why?
It’ll take the faith & love in God to get the family & friends though the rough times with the suffering we’ll be facing for a good while. Prayer & meditation will help with the suffering. We as the loved ones will have to face the fact there’ll be unanswered questions till the end of time.

Just some thoughts… I too had a co worker who committed suicide.
We never really know what is going on inside a persons mind. My thought the person is metally ill. Because who in there right mind would. Many people hide there true feeings, there may be signs but we don’t always read them either. I feel if the person could get the right help it may not have happened? People get tired of the struggle inside, the outside pressures and sometimes life does not move fast enough. They see no light at the end of the rainbow, they have lost hope. My belief also we do not choose when we are born, and we don’t choose when we leave. Everyone has there day, no matter what the circumstance surrounding the death. It was their day to go.
I believe God is energy, we are created from within that energy, energy never dies, it just changes worlds.
xoxox

As a sufferer of depression, and thoughts of suicide,run through my mind very often, I have always thought that my impact on those around me isnt that great.I love that saying that God is energy-its how I see it. If I didn’t have my son, I probably would be gone. I struggle with chronic pain and the reprocussions of it, and when I was able to work..I felt I was just a burden becuase I was no longer able to do the job, I used to do very well. I went thru all the EAP programs and after my moms death- and being switched to a job that used none of my talents was advised by my union to take a 10 thousand dollar package and left with no good bye party or anything. Like the 15 yrs I spent
with sick patients who I was a smiling face at the end of a needle meant nothing.. I was a lab tech, and loved my job, I would see my patients not as another number or tube of blood but a patient who, didnt need any more pain inflicted on them,so I did my best to get their blood with the least amount pain necessary. You can tell I miss my job, and I am glad I didnt commit suicide when I lost that job-
but I have to say there were many days I thought I would. Im not sure
where I was going with this, I just think when we have reached
the end it is all that the sufferer could do.

I don’t condone suicide but I think people just want the suffering to go away. They cannot find solutions and wear down over and over and over. Plus, face it there are a lot of unfreindly people in this world we have to deal with. One disappointment and brick wall after another with no solutions in sight really isn’t fun. I often times wish that all that would change for me but it really doesn’t. Every time I get hopeful that it all will it only gets a little better but the big money issues are still there with no solution in sight. I guess God just wants me to barely get by and be happy with that? I hate not ever having enough survival money. I am to old and in to much pain,lack of energy to work two jobs. I try to be grateful and many days that focus gets me through to the next. Optimism does to. When I fill my mind with good music, prayer, thoughts, readings, then I am ok and happy. However the bills and how am I going to eat this week and get through no money to keep the basics on are there starring me in the face every moment. I hate to ask for help. Many days I have lost my will to go on. Many times I have asked for it to all end. But God’s will just keeps me right here. Like the rubics cube suck in super glue. wish I could blow it up sometimes. Just cannot seem to line it all up to make it all work out. Plus, the way I start my day is with pain. Pain is what wakes me up and keeps me moving. For if I lay around I hurt. So I got to keep moving. I got to keep staying in the gratitude, thankful, prayful moments otherwise my will would suck into the grave.

I don’t know if you can stop someone from commiting suicide or not. I just refuse to stop trying to stop them. Any life is so important.

I KNOW IT IS A VERY SAD THING. BUT DON’T ASK WHY, NO ONE WILL KNOW THE REAL ANSWERS. SHE PROBABLY WAS DEPRESSED AND VERY TIRED OF LIFE.
I DON’T MEAN NO HARM. BUT I FEEL SORT OF IN THE SAME SITUATION, I DON’T SEE IT AS WEAKNESS, I SEE IT AS A WHOLE LOT OF COURAGE. SHE DID NOT MEAN TO HURT ANYONE, AND DIDN’T MEAN FOR UNANSWERED QUESTIONS.
IN HER EYES SHE LOVED YOU. BUT SHE FELT THINGS HARD TO HANDLE.
I HAVE BEEN CLOSED TWICE OF DOING IT. IT’S NOT BEING SELFISH, OR TO HURT ANYONE. SHE KNOWS SHE LEFT BEHIND THE ONES SHE LOVES. AND I THINK YOU WOULD KNOW, YOU WILL ALWAYS BE WITH YOU.
SHE ISN’T A COWARD, SOUNDS LIKE SHE WAS A FIGHTER, JUST GOT TIRED OF THE WAY THE WORLD IS. DO NOT BE MAD AT HER. JUST REMEMBER HER, THE WAY SHE WAS TO YOU. FORGIVE HER. THE PAIN I KNOW IS GREAT AND I’M SORRY, YOU HAVE MY SYMPATHY.
YOU HAVE HELPED ME OVER THE FEW MONTHS. SO MUCH IS GOING ON HERE, THAT I UNDERSTAND HER. GOD BLESS YOU THERESA.

Hi (((Jo,)))
I’ve read some of your other posts…and I’m surprised you don’t see yourself the way I do:
A SURVIVOR !

Hi!!
Sometimes i do see myself as a survivor, but now i only see myself as a weaker person. That was to go home. But, some reason, God is keeping me around. i am so tired. i’m so tired of each and everyday being and getting harder.
I been thinking alot lately about my grandkids, and what they are going through being abused. i think now i’m waiting, just to go back to court and help my daughter fight, to keep this idiot, not exactly totally from one. but to make sure she is kept safe by supervision. after that, when i know they will be taken care of.
i believe my daughter if she stays on her medicine for lupus.
i will feel like i can rest in peace.
something i have fault for and wanted my entire life. and not had. i will think more about this.
but there is not a day that i don’t think of giving it up.
her dad and aunt has stepped up, she will be in good hands. but not a day goes by, i don’t think about it. but thank you for looking at me as a survivor. the question is how much longer. thank you, Jo

Hey, have you heard the song, I WANT TO GO HOME, THE PLACE I BELONG. BEAUTIFUL SONG. JUST BEAUTIFUL. I DON’T REMEMBER WHO SINGS IT. I DON’T KNOW IF IT IS ON THE VIDEO SITE. ALL I DO MAINLY IS SLEEP. AND FOR SOME REASON, IT’S LIKE I HAVE TO GET ON YOUR SITE. SOMETHING STRONGLY IS PULLING TO IT. THANK YOU

I was nineteen when suicide was possible. My mom,sisters and brothers
were not fair to me. Being a loner isn’t easy. No one for support. So
I didn’t understand then and we have time to see the whole picture.
Be aware of the lost souls on the Earth Plane. I lived with a very
large woman who waited for her son to get out of jail. She needed a
person to run errands. Anger keeps her there. Like the anchor that is
heavy. Forgiveness is needed.
Try breathing in deeper and out slowly. Concentrate. Count in your
head. Distractions can work. Hum a tune. Try to control and know that
feelings are temporary. Mind chatter is another matter to control.
See images in your mind clearly in color. The full moon,apple or tree
and water. Most people are not grounded.
Using a word is useful too. Calm or what works for you.

Theresa, what you are saying sounds great. I go and sit on my porch, trying to re-group. watching the wind blow through the leaves on the trees, flowers grow. i turned the music on to soft and peaceful songs. i think alot to myself. since i’ve had driving license, they, the family, would call me. always told them where i was going, in case they needed, i guess by the times, i was scared of the guns and fighting, i can a plan to get them out of the house for safety. And just Friday, i to protect again., like i was born to protect. i think the abuse, i didn’t care about.
i sit on that porch, they alot older than I? And i think maybe the reason being, is the Lord wanted me to help them. Or i wanted my life to end. when a gun is pointed to your head, or at someone in my family, rifle, pistol, it didn’t matter. somehow, from a grown man, i would stay, tell everyone load up, car is ready, if i don’t come to it. drive off fast. weird, i fault back, i guess got lucky alot.
But it came one day, when I took that barrel of the rifle he had, pointed to my head, told him to pull the trigger. for some reason, beyond explaining, when i told him, that i was calling the police. and while i was doing it. i said shoot. all these memories, are coming back, my whole life in confronting me, like a bad movie.
i pray to God to help get me through this. because to me, i have 2 choices, get it done and over. or day a few days trip. which i’m broke.
For some reason, your site is drawing me back. i think the Lord has a lot to do with it.
but Friday, i still feel bad over. this guy stole my granddaughter WII station. When he came over, which my daughter didn’t see him for like a week and a half. i kind of a sixth sense of others.
he had 3 choices. take his little bag and walk away. 2. was call police
and the 3rd was the worsed one. i unfolded a towel. and told or you can have this choice.
what’s scares me, he was on heavy drugs, i’m disabled, can’t afford anymore broken brokes, sent my kids to a neighbor. my daughter was here, and a friend.
i think about this, the thing that scares me after 54 yrs of abused and trauma, is, i think i would of use it. and wouldn’t remembered.
i was just glad he took the first choice. we are a drug free family. love my children. but never steal from us or my children.
funny, i told my psychiatrist, people live in a box, they should look outside the box, about people and the trees , flowers and the beautiful earth. the world is moving too fast or i’m moving too slow. but i like to see the beauty in people and the world. thank you

Hi ((( Jo,)))
YOU ARE NOT YOUR THOUGHTS!!!
Say that aloud if you need to ever time you have “thoughts” of committing killing yourself.
It is the wiring in your brain that is misfiring. Think of it as an old fashioned switchboard. The kind Lily Tomlin had when she played Earnestine) and pretend Earnstine is your Switchboard Operator.
If a diabetic couldn’t process sugar with the medication’s they gave her would you advice: suicide?
My grandmother had Ernestine the switchboard operator; and we had to keep trying and trying and trying until they found the right one.
There is No Future in Your Past.
Live for TODAY.
Just Today.
Sit on your porch look at the trees
Picture ALL of the beautiful things in nature, the Ocean the Mountains and yes…
ALL of Your Family; ALL Are In God’s Hands. NOT Your Small hands.
Jo, YOU ARE the Beauty in God’s World!!

.
((((((((((((((((((((Linda Bemis!))))))))))))))))))))
Because You Care!!!
.

THANK YOU BOTH. YOU HAVE MADE ME FEEL BETTER. I’M NOT FUNCTIONING, MY DAUGHTER TRIES TO THE POINT, I HAVE TO TELL HER TO GO SOMETIMES. I SEE THEM EVERYDAY. I TOLD HER I HAVE NO WILL POWER, DRAINED, AND DON’T CARE OR FEEL LIKE SEEING ANYONE.
THAT SOMETIMES, I KNOW SHE IS TRYING TO HELP. AND SOMETIMES I KNOW, WHEN IT IS FOR HER BENEFIT.
I FEEL I HAVEN’T NOTHING TO GIVE. I KNOW I TAKE ALOT ON MY SHOULDERS, I DON’T HAVE TO. SOMEHOW, IT COMES HERE. THEN FINALLY, IT BUILDS UP INSIDE ME, UNTIL I HAVE NO CHOICES, BUT DO THE RIGHT THING. HA!USUALLY MEANS KICKING THEM OUT. I’M WIPED OUT. AND THANK YOU AGAIN FOR BEING THERE. FOR HAVING SOMEONE TO TALK WITH. GOD BLESS YOU ALL. I WILL ACTALLY TRY TO STEP OUT MY DOOR TOMORROW ON MY DECK, AND LOOK AT THINGS. BEEN AWHILE, BECAUSE I HAVEN’T WANTED ANYONE TO SEE ME. ALONG THE WAY, SOME HOW I PICKED UP SOME BAD PHOBIAS. THANK YOU,
I AM NOT MY THOUGHTS, I’LL REMEMBER THAT.

.
Hi ((Jo,))
I sat on my deck last night there was one bird still singing After Midnight last night!
It was as beautiful as any classical music I had ever heard. It gave me such Joy.
I Know *my bird waited just to sing to Me and No One on God’s green earth can tell *my bird and I anything different.
Have you sat on Your Deck?

NO, I COULDN’T. I WAITED UNTIL AFTER DARK TONITE, JUST TO TAKE THE TRASH TO THE STREET. MY DAUGHTER TOLD ME, SHE MAY HAVE CANCER, RESULTS NOT IN YET. MY ONLY DAUGHTER, HER TOTAL ATTITUDE HAS CHANGED. EVEN TOWARD ME. I KNOW SHE DON’T MEAN IT. SHE HAS BEEN ILL. I DO KNOW IF I LOSE HER, THEN I WILL LOOSE MY GRANDKIDS. I KNOW I THEN WILL TOTALLY LOSE MYSELF.
I NEED TO WEED-EAT MY YARD, BUT AFRAID OF STEPPING OUT, BECAUSE SOMEONE MAY SEE ME.
THE PRAYER OF TODAY ON BELIEF.NET WAS NICE. I READ IT 3 TIMES. I WISH I COULD OF MADE MYSELF SIT ON THE PORCH. I JUST COULDN’T. THANK YOU FOR ASKING AND BEING THERE. YOUR SITE IS WONDERFUL. AND WHAT I HAVE READ YOU HAVE REALLY HELPED ALOT OF PEOPLE. YOU ARE TRULY BLESSED.

Hi (((Jo,)))
I’m glad to hear from you!
Jo, remember what we talked about…
You Are Not Your Thoughts.
You Are A Child Of God.
And He is Holding All Your Family in His Loving Hands.
Just Think of trying this… try sitting on your deck late at night.
You won’t be alone. God will be there in the stars and the the breeze in the trees. Trust God and let Him show Himself to you.
Therese is happy we love her site. But that’s Not her Purpose.
Because she is just like us; she put her heart and soul into it, so…
We Would ALL Get HELP!
And You Know you Need to Get Help.
Jo, Only You Can Walk the Talk…Only You Can Get the Help You Need!!!

I am getting help, Tricia, I will try again to sit on that porch. i am seeing a psychiatrist, i told him, that he may see me this month, if not in hospital, or , well, forget the or. he knows what i said to him.
i know i need to get help. i know i probably need to be in the hospital. i know my daughter and kids need me. i’m afraid to leave her. i’m afraid of losing her.
but i know the prayers i say everynite, and get on this site. i know what i need to do.
i thought of a trip, dont’ know if i could make one with the phobias i have now.
i know i do belong in the hospital. i pray and hang on, maybe by a thread, but hanging on.
and I am remembering and repeating those words you said,”You Are Not Your Thoughts, You are a Child of God,and He is Holding all my family in His Loving Hands. and i’m repeating this, since you told me. God bless you.

Good Morning Jo,
YOU Can Do This!!! It’s no accident that we came into each other’s lives. God loves you so much, Jo, He planned it. I call these meetings: A Divine Coincidence.
Speaking of Another Divine Coincidence, did you read the letter right below your letter of “Liking The Prayer?”
You need to:
Pick Up the Phone Today and Make an Emergency Call To Your Psychiatrist!
Yes, your children need you, but Not like this. Pick up the Phone Today Jo!
In the Warm Love of His Wonderful Son

I thought about picking up the phone, but didn’t. I can’t put anymore stress on my daughter with SLE with connective disease and sjnoges sydrome. she is already developing purple patches. if i make that call more stress, the worse her condition becomes.
no, i didn’t get to read the letter. Lupus of America Foundation has been contacting me back and forth. I DO need to pick the phone up. He’s a great doctor. He knows so much more.
Look i sat on my porch today. No long, maybe 5 minutes, had some visitors, to much going through this brain of mine. kids hollering. i told them to excuse, i didn’t feel well, i need to lay down.
But i did hear the birds, and wind blowing through the trees. And i will call him tomorrow. should be close to my appt. anyway.
but i do keep repeating what you said above, in our last two conversations.
3 or 4 days of shutdown time. i may be able to pull it back together in my head. but i haven’t been able to do that. i sleep alot.
i just pray the Lord to spare my daughter, and her 2 children. thank you, and I will call tomorrow. but if i go in the hospital, i’m afraid her disease will progress. stress is the fastest trigger for SLE.
but i will make the call anyway. thank you tricia

Jo,
I’m so Proud of ((you)) for sitting on your porch! ^I^
I know how difficult that must of been for you.
Don’t worry about the stress your going to the hospital will put on your family. It’s far more stress on them now to see you like this. I’m sure they Want you to get help to get better.
You can’t keep “living” like this…because it’s not really living, is it? You can’t get better on your own.
When we pray God gives us the answer. He has given you your answer,,,get the help you need from professionals.
You’ve listened to Your Thoughts up to now…do you like where they’ve brought you?
Making the call Today will show God you Trust He Knows What’s Best for you and your family.
Stop sleeping….make the call, Jo!

Post Script:
There is a posting I made under “Mothering When You Are Depressed” with You in mind and (((heart.)))

I WILL LOOK IT UP. THEY WON’T BE GONE LONG, DON’T’ KNOW IF I WILL HAVE TIME. BUT I WILL TRY AND CHECK IT OUT. THANK YOU.
FOUNDATION OF AMERICA WROTE ME BACK, SAID THE CONDTION OF MY DAUGHTERS IS WORSENING. TO CALL IMMEDIATELY, WE’VE DONE THAT.
SO NOW HAVE TO TRY TO SEE IF HE HAS A CANCELLATION. MY DAUGHTER IS SUCH A GOOD CHILD, WHY DON’T THEY HAVE MORE HELP AND CARE?? I DON’T UNDERSTAND PEOPLE DO EVIL THINGS, DRUGS, FIGHTING. WHY??
I WILL TRY TO CHECK IT OUT. THANK YOU. YOU’VE BEEN GREAT. GOD BLESS YOU, JO

I FOUND IT! IT’S EVEN HARD TO USE MY COMPUTER. JUST TO FIND SOMETHING. BUT I READ IT, I’M STILL CRYING. IF I DO THIS, IT WILL PUT MORE STRESS ON HER. I UNDERSTAND. SHE KNOWS I’M SAD. I SURE CRY ALOT AND PRAY TO GOD. I’M SO SCARED OF PUTTING MORE PAIN ON HER.
I READ IT, AND UNDERSTOOD IT. MY DAUGHTER AND I HAVE THIS CLOSE BOND, WHEN ONE HURTS THE OTHER DOES. MY DAUGHTER AND MY KIDS ARE MY LIFE, AND WE ARE HERS.
HOW DO I DO THIS? PICKING UP PHONE IS EASY? HER VISITING ME IN THE HOSPITAL, SHE WILL THINK IT IS HER FAULT. IT’S NOT.
BUT WHEN I READ YOUR STORY, IF I DON’T, IT DOES HARM TO THEM TOO.
WHY DOES THE WORLD HAVE TO BE SO CONFUSING. WHY THE GOOD PEOPLE.
I PUT MY HANDS IN THE LORD. WHEN MY DAUGHTER WAS IN THERE, I TOLD HER TO SAY A PRAYER. AND TURN YOURSELF COMPLETELY OVER TO THE LORD. HE WILL TAKE CARE OF YOU. THE LORD WAS WITH HER, THE DOCTORS WASN’T. A BIG OF A HOSPITAL BAPTIST EAST IS, NO RHEMATOLOGIST.
I WILL CALL HIM RIGHT NOW. MY APPT. SHOULD BE IN A COUPLE OF DAYS.
I TOLD HIM IT WOULDN’T BE LONG, THE NEXT TIME HE SEES ME OR DON’T, HE WILL KNOW WHERE I AM AT?? I HOPE THE NEW HOSPITAL WILL HAVE A WARD, PSYCHIATRICT WARD HERE. SHE WILL BE A WRECK IF NOT. THANK YOU. I HEAR YOU. I AM SO GLAD TO BE ABLE TO TALK TO SOMEONE. I DON’T TALK MUCH. I DON’T DO ANYTHING MUCH. GOD BLESS YOU TRICIA. AND THANK YOU.

My dear Jo,
Your Thoughts Are False!
Your Thoughts Are Liars!
Your Thoughts Are Thieves!
You Are Not Your Thoughts!
STOP…and ask yourself: “What would a Rational Thinking Person Do?”
When You get Emotionally Healthier you can take better care of your daughter.
That’s the REAL TRUTH!
God Has Blessed Me…With (((You.)))

Post Script of Tough Love:
The next time we talk it it will be when you tell me the Date of Your Appointment.
In His Love…

i’m sorry. but ok. jo
and he blessed me with you!!!

Jo
There’s Nothing to be sorry for.
So hurry up and make the appointment! Get going, girl! ^I^

I DID GO TO MY DOCTOR WEDNESDAY, HE SAID, YOUR LIFE HAS BEEN MANY TROUBLES. THAT I HAD BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH, VERY GOOD DOCTOR. HE TOLD ME THAT MY LIFE WAS ALL FLASHING BACK ON ME. THAT I HAD BEEN THROUGH HELL. SEEING MY DAUGHTER AND GRANDCHILDREN GO THROUGH, WHAT YOU HAVE SEEN. HAS BROUGHT ALL MY MEMORIES BACK. I TOLD HIM I COULDN’T BLOCKED THEM OUT, BELIEVE ME I HAVE TRIED.
I STAY UP LATE TRYING TO STOP THEM EVEN WITH THE MEDICATION.
I KNOW HE WAS READY TO ADMIT ME. BECAUSE HE THOUGHT HE COULDN’T HELP ME. I ASKED HIM NOT TO GIVE UP ON ME. HE WAS ONE OF THE SANENESS PERSON I HAVE TO TALK WITH.
I’M SCARED IF I GO IN THE HOSPITAL, IT WILL JEOPARDIZE MY DAUGHTER’S CASE. I HAVE TO TRY EACH DAY A STRUGGLE TO SURVIVE, TO GET THEM THROUGH THIS. AND I SURE HOPE THAT DON’T TAKE THAT LONG.
I HOPE SHORTLY, THEN I WILL ADMIT MYSELF.
THE MEMORIES OF MY CHILDHOOD AND MARRIAGE CAME BACK ON ME LIKE A FORCE OF LIGHT. I NOW, HAVE TO TRY AND HANDLE IT AND THE FLASHBACKS, AND NIGHTMARES. I SENT MY DAUGHTER HOME A FEW MINUTES, FINALLY TO EVEN TAKE A BATH, AND HONESTLY TO GET BACK ON HERE. TO GET THE NERVE TO ANSWER YOU. THANK YOU

i read that one email above. ur thoughts are liars, etc. helps alot.

I am sorry to hear about your loss. Dealing with death is always hard to deal with. I hope you find the right way to deal with your situation.

I am wondering how is this possible? Can you explain more details in your blog post. It will be more useful. Thanks
Equity Release

I am sorry to hear of your loss. I have found the spiritual teachings of Eckhart Tolle to be very powerful. He was featured on Oprah at one time. Best wishes to you.