My therapist feels that I have a mood disorder, but not necessarily Bipolar. I have chronic depressed feelings, anxiety now controlled with medication. I’ve had anxiety attacks since I w as ten-years-old.
I take Effexor for depression and recently missed two doses of the medication. I had a rage attack, drove to my friend’s home and broke his dooor when he didn’t answer. It frightened me as I’m not by any stretch a violent person.
I feel like there’s a grey auro around me constantly, sometimes think of killing myself, but couldn’t do that to my children. I have problems with romantic type relationships, panic at any sign, whether real or imagined, of abandonment. I have destroyed former relationships with rage at feeling abandoned, and that was the trigger for my recent “door breaking” episode.
I am known to be extremely gently, nurturing and loving, but constantly hide my incredibly sad feelings. I have bouts with crying and can’t stop. I feel fragile, vulnerable and so lonely. I was married for 23 years, marriage ended in September, 2995, when my husband admitted he had been molesting our adopted daughter since she was five. I had him leave and called the Child Protective Hotline myself to report it. An Order of Protection precludes his having any contack with the children until after 2016.
I have no family except my children, and my ex husband’s family have now walked away from the children and me. Realizing this has had a profound effect on me, I still do not understand what’s happening to me of late. I also disassociate, and lost a child in an auto accident, after which I felt nothing for five days, but remember every detail of those days.
Can anyone help me? I see a therapist weekly, we have developed a great therapsutic rekationship, and use EMDR to attempt clearing out old losses. I am truly frightened by myself and my lack of control.

Jan, I think it’a good that you are frightened since it seems to be sending you on a wider search for help. Although your symptoms are more classic ad severe than than mine, I have bipolr II disorder and am quite familiar with the black hole of depression. I urge you to ask your therapist to point you to a compettent pshchiatrist in your area. Whie it’s great that you have a good relationship with him or her, only psychiatrists, by virtue of their medical dwgree, can prescribe pharmacueticals. I can only assume that your Effexor (Which I also take///////////////0 was prescribed by your primary care doctor at the suggestion of your psychologist. A competent psychiatrist can evaluate all of your symptoms and add a mood leveler to your “pharmacockrail” if she thinks youare bip[olar Hhopefully this would help diminish the periods of rage you experience and which are(justifably) so terrifying fr you. Because of childhood abuse, I also have experienced disassociation, sometimes with loss of memory, other times not. I urge you to take an holistic approach to your ental health by also including proper diet, exercise and sleep hygeine into consideration, Pharmacuueticals aren’t the “be all and end all” answer to bipolar disorder(Or any other mental illness) but they can–abd Do for many of us–be an important component of a recovery program.
By taking the time and emnergy to find “Beyond Blue, you’ve taken a proactive step towards restoring–or creating– your mental health. Therese and the other regulars here are grear and will support you on thia frightening journey with their love, their genuine concern and their own experiences. I will be praying fir you; please “drop in” occasionally to keep us updated om uour battle.

Jan,
It is a good first step to reach out ot others and see a therapist. I think Margaret is right that you need a competent psychiatrist monitoring your meds. I have been recently diagnosed as bipolar type 2, after having been treated for depression for the last 24 years. Your psych doc will probably put you on a cocktail of meds that will have to be adjusted to your needs (don’t be discouraged if this takes time-once they find whats right for you, you’ll start to feel more balanced.) DO NOT STOP TAKING THE EFFEXOR, OR MISS DOSES. This drug is notorious for causing withdrawal symptoms, as well as worsening the symptoms you already have. I learned the hard way and now I’m trying to wean off of the effexor and use something else. In the meantime, continue taking it and your psych doc will adjust.
It is so frightening to have these moods- I myself in not a happy manic person, instead I fly into rages that used to scare my family. With the help of my therapist and my doc, I am able to get a handle on them and explain to my daughters that mommy is not “ok’ right now, but I’m getting better. Talk to your close friends. Explain whats going on and see if they could help -either with childcare when you are at your lowest point or just being there for you. It’s hardto ask for help especially when people have this stereotype of mental illness, but you can’t do this by yourself. See if your therapist can recommend a group that you can go to. Maybe you can cultivate friends and help each other. It always helps to talk to people who are going through the same thing. Lastly, being a part of “beyond blue” will give you a chance to understand what’s going on with your brain and a chance to talk to others that can help you.
Therese and the forum have been such a blessing! Hang in there and God bless.

It is scarey,you feel like you are the only one in the world that has this illness and nonone knows how painful everyday is,it’s like putting on an act…..it’s fustrating,it’s unexplainable,thank god,I have a wonderful husband who keeps me in the right direction everyday,and helps me keep my chin up…..it could be a cotastraphy!

Don’t forget Bi-Polar II. The same wonderful treatment ideas apply. Bi-Polar II is a lesser degree of I without ever having a major manic episode. It rarely,requires hospitalization. On the depressive side,the misery is still there. Bipolar II does not interfere as much with daily interactions. It can have mixed episodes(hypomanic[depressed or vice versa).
Good luck Bi-Polar bear and your family. This too shall pass.

Where to begin? I’ve been married and faithful to the most wonderful hard-working, caring and compassionate man for 21 years this June 18th, totally together for 26. Five years ago, he had a motorcycle accident(not his fault) He was hit from behind and thrown 25 or 30 feet in air. Our lifes have gone down ever since, I still love the breeze that keeps him cool, but he has changed tremendously, I’ve been dis-abled for 10 years without any compensation from the government, supposedly because he makes to much, Whatever!!!!! He’s lost jobs, we have our house for sale, were staying with his mother because he took a good job in the city, which were very grateful for her, but in the past couple of years I’ve noticed big big changes in his personality, he has alot of the signs for bi-polor disorder, but he refuses to accept that, and I guess we will never know since there is no insurance and he does have the male strategy, NOTHING’s wrong with him. He’s so dissasocciated from everything. I’ve tried to talk with him about different things and nothing ever gets settled. All he knows how to do is work which I’m very grateful for. He is a work-a-holic, no fun,no sex drive,no motivation for the things which used to make him happy. Help? We are desperate!

The best thing I ever did for myself to get control of my life and make my family’s life better was research, research and more research. Each time I read the signs of Bipolar the more aware I became of my behavior. It took years but I can say that I have finally conquered the behavior and can make adjustments in how I react to others. I did find being alert to when it’s coming on was paramount to gaining control. I now find sharing the feelings I have coming on helps to shut down the depression. I still have my up and down days but now I know why, that it’s not due to others. There is a silver lining to that dark cloud all you need to do is open your eyes.

My son is bypolar and is a drug addict also .He is on some really stiff meds but sometimes I don’t think they are working. I am trying to help him as everyone else has just let go,but I feel I am running out of options. He has no medical insurance and I believe he needs to talk to someone but where do I turn for help. He recieved his meds from a county agency but as far as I know they do not have anybody for him to talk to PLEASE give some ideas to check out.

im bipolar and bipolar2 affects everyday life of course someone without a loved one or the person itself would say that bipolar 2 symptoms dont ruin every day life

My little sister who is in her 30′s was diagnosed bi-polar years ago. My mother was bi-polar however, back in the 40′s and 50′s they knew nothing about this disease. I just thought she was the meanest most hateful woman put on the face of the earth. Bi-polar symptoms and behaviors are a very hard thing to watch a family member suffer with. I struggle daily with my sister and her personality. Her disease has caused her to almost ruin her life and the lives around her. There are some people (including myself sometimes) that wonder “why cant she just get a grip on herself and act right?” I wish it were that easy. I really dont have any words of wisdom for anyone just that i know what it’s like to deal with a family member who is affected and try myself on a daily basis to continue to WANT to have a relationship with her. She was my best friend but has, several times, come after me physically and emotionally and i cant trust her anymore because she has betrayed me and when she gets mad at me for whatever reason she has let out many of my most secret things for the masses to hear just to hurt me. All i can say is i try my best everyday. I do love her but i miss the person she used to be. She is seeing a doctor and is on medication. Good luck to you all in your struggle whether it be with the disease or just surrounded by it.

Im 28 years old. For years I have notice changes in my personnality and behavior(think started went I was aroung 12yrs old) at the beggining I thought that it was because i was passing thru some issues in my life(my father has pass away and my mother had abondon me went I was a baby etc) At my teen years everyone though it was a young teen rebeling but I’m not a teen anymore) But my behavior is beginning to afect my life with my family and with my boyfriend but the hardest part is to see how is affecting my girls. Im a very strong woman but I feel like I cant control myself at times. Im loosing my family, friends, my boyfriend but most of all my little angels that I think they starting to hate me for screaming so much at them. I just make an appoitment with a Psycologist to see if I have bipolar disorder and if that is the case how can i help myself and how he can’g help me. Please give me more ideas or links were can I find more information about this and also how can I try to control myself because at times I worren’t like to live with myself either. I love my boyfriend but he left because all the fights we were having and I would like to have him back plus my girls miss him and im sure they looking like this is mommys fall. Can someone guide me to the right path.

i have bipolar and so does my best friend. she is in the hospital right now she reached the bottom and cut her wrist and overdosed now i am faced with surgery that is happening soon and my best friend is hospitalized and i feel there is no end in site since the day i was born my real mother died and my abusive father raised me with 2 more wives and molestation and two marrieages and a misscarriage and 3 kids i have had 5 surgeries in three years and battled drug abuse to mask feelings of being the bad apple of the world but one thing besides my children and my loving husband know is my VERY STRONG BELIEF IN JESUS CHRIST MY SAVOR. Sometimes maybe its the meds that help but JESUS

i have beeen through everythinkg from rape to homelessness and battled addiction to every drug u think and still had enough in me to fight that is all bipolor is it is a fight between the real world and your mind that i call my worst enemy

The article covered the mania phase fairly accurately but what about the “rages”? I feel like the list is a bit incomplete. Does it also encompass anxiety and the detachment that’s on the flip side? I’m thinking more about that “rapid cycling bi-polar” and that fits my scenario better. My sympathies to those that detest the “designer labels”. It seems to be self perpetuating to just slap one on and live with it. I’m still dealing with the denial issues…bummer!

While I am not a bipolar expert, but I know people who are bipolar, plus I have read up on it, I tend to think #14 in an unfair categorization of a bipolar person. Most people with any type of problem, smoking, drinking, deny they have a problem. As I personally feel bipolar is often over-diagnosed, people with basic depression and outgoing or emotional personalities or even tempers get called bipolar. There is much more to it than that! Not every woman who over-shops on QVC, or occasionally throws a fit is bipolar. Some people live in chronic, negative situations and it is expected that they might have some ups and downs. Also, there could be other brain malfunctions that might need checking into. I wish Drs. would stop diagnosing everyone as bipolar or attention deficit.

I just happen to glance at this article in my spam file and it was not by co-incidence that I find this information very vital to understanding the similarities and differences (very thin line here) of bi-polar disorder and mania.
I have a very close friend–an ex boyfriend that reminds me of a typical bi-polar case. It is so intriguing to reflect on his personalities that changed constantly when we lived together. Episodes of tender loving moments that can turn into hell on earth all in the close of a day. I fell in love with the tender open-hearted part of his personality and keep my distance from the raging bull. I have emotional and physical scars from those times. However, we are separated by distance which seems to be my best cure from it all. Even now he calls me to say how sorry he is that we are not together. I am sorry too, but our time together was laced with high times and partying, and very low times–when money ran and I refused to fork over support for his other addictions–gambling, drugs, alcohol, flirtations and his lack of self control–all contributed to his fits and rages…now he has five years of probation for nothing–street fighting when he did not get his way. This is how bad his rages would get. Yet, deep down inside I feel there is help for him, but due to his denying that he has a problem, I am not sure he will find it.
I am further convinced that Bi-polarity and mania are complex mental disorders which are often misdiagnosed as someone pointed out here. I have not found convincing information of how to correctly categorize or discern these behaviors or ways to be of help, except to stay positive and calm…if or when he calls..(since we share in an extended family membership). He only calls during his low times and I know that I have to exercise caution when talking to him because I am afraid that if or when I should ever see him again, he may recant any harsh words and try to take that out on me. It is ashame because he is such a good person on sight!
Therefore, I shall read on in hopes that I find even more help for myself to understand this dilema as well as tools to continue to interject OPTIMISM. God only knows..and for that I pray for his complete recovery (whatever it may be). As for me, I am better acquainted with the woes of living with impressionable people and I look for stabilty in relationships–male or female– before I commit to friendships.
Signed,
Sistah still searching

i have all those signs im 16 whats bi polar though i dont understand di i have to go the hosppital.
HELP!!!!

i have most of the bipolar symptoms listed

My boyfriend and I have been together for four years now. And the past two years his attitude has done a 360. He doesn’t want to spend timee with our son, he doesn’t tell me anything. I have no idea what he’s thinking or doing. He spends he whole pay check on G0D knows what. He gets paid friday and by monday he’s broke. I told him he’s bi-polar but he brushes me off. On minute he’s happy and the next minute he angry with me and at times I don’t know why. I love him so much, I just don’t know what to do anymore. I feel like giving up.

i know that bipolar conditions exsist. my sister has benn diagnosed with this condition. i also believe it is deeper than that. i believe it is a spirit, a demonic spirit. i have read many books and articles on this topic. i have noticed at times i go through and have alot of the symptoms, call it denial or what ever i am not claiming to be bipolar. we all have chooses. i have chosen to go out and spen my money carelessly out of anger or depresion. and there are times i choose not to do those destructive things, i simply fought the thought. thats all it is, a thought. thats all the power the enemy has the power to place thoughts in our heads. God has given us the power to case down every wicked thought. trough our relationships with him He gives us strength daily and it increases as our relationship with him increases.
as for my sister i am believing in her total delieverance. God is going to restore her whole, i’ve seen it in a vision given to me a few years ago. i’m learning to have patience. its in His timing and not mine. God bless you all and as you all pray, i will also pray concerning this issue.
Grace and Peace.

I think you are rong in catigorizing those particular signs as links to bypoler disorder. I have been diagnosed with clinical depression. My mother is a true manic depressive. Bipoler disorder is not just swings of depression and hyperness, you forger to add uncontrolable rages. That is, in a moments notice, a bypoler person can be depressed, then happy, then feeling like everone’s out to get them, then angry enough to attack even ones children with deadly objects. They also go innumberable days without the ability to sleep. Depressant has only fitful sleep, short attention span, and crying spells. Wherefore, your description is more for a strictly depressed person, as they have days, weeks, and sometimes months unhappy, while they have the same amount as normal and well adjusted. A untreated, and sometimes even treated, bypoler has very few times of well adjusted and\or normal days at all. So, if you have a friend who is happy in one sentence and ready to hurt you in the next, that friend is bypoler. Thank you for attempting to allow people to know the signs, but you should be more specific in you catigorization of what bypoler disorder truely is.

This is in answer to the first comment by Jan.
I love you and want to you to know that God can help you overcome your depression. You are not bypoler. You were merely going through withdrawl from you medication. Withdrawls can be worse than the original disorder. Give it to God Jan and you will be joyful in your life. But remember, If you choose meds, you need to take every day. It takes 30 day for introduction into your system and only 3 missed days for withdrawl to set in.

Is it possible for a 4 almost 5 year old can have it? my daughter acts like that i have an appointment coming up in july but nothing i do works with her, i have tried everything and this has been going on for a little over 2 yaers now, i dont know if it’s bipolar or add or adhd, but i do believe it’s something. it’s not normal behavior. every time i take her to the doctor though she is good for that moment what should i do?

This responce is to Jackie,
You are 16 and your body is changing. To read this article and put yourself in this catagory is probably rong. I know you have learned about hormones in school. I would wait till you have reached a full hormonal maturity before you worry about bypoler disorder. 26 or 27, and your body will be well adjusted. If it is hard to deel with the ups and downs, I think you should seek out an older female familly member that you really like and ask her if its ok for you to vent on her your emotions. Know that you are loved.

I don’t think she’s capable of being properly diagnosed. I learned a long time ago children usually have one or two problems. One is the improper following through of healthy diciplin i.e. time outs or wall time without violence. Also you may request that your pediatrition test for vitamen and mineral deficiancies. More often than not in todays times, parents are told their child needs medications they don’t need, causing permanant side affects. I urge you to start with the basics. Vitamen and mineral deficiancies can mimic mental disorders. For your childs sake, I pray you follow my advice, mistakes are made every day with children because television and physicians go for an easy fix instead finding out the root of the problems. Children need also to be taught self control in all aspects of their growing life. If she see’s your emotional reactions enough, she’ll more often than not follow you, without knowing if it’s the appropriate time or place. I know I’ve said all this to you and it seems rambling, but there are many reasons your child could be displaying and emotional rollercoster while being a perfectly stable kid. I personally believe all 4 year olds are in a learning stage where they need help learning how to use and comunicate their feelings and its your job to help them learn. Maybe try to find a local help group for parents. You may find she’s just a normal toddler and both of you are having growing pains. I love you and will pray for you to have streingth in this situation.

I want to thank you for creating this article . I have been living with a Girl that suffers from bi -polor and several other issues ( childhood malestation & trama ) for 7 yrs . she receives a lot of help but i have never had any counceling . I thought it was not affecting me . that is not the case .A flood of emotion are overtaking me now After I read this i realize . Thank you for helping .

My therapist hires nothing bur manics. He says they get things done & he’s been around for 30 years. I think he just knows how to channel all of the energy.

This is a response to Trista-
Hi Trista. I am the mother of 2 boys. My 6 year old has severe ADHD, a mood disorder, and moderate to severe anxiety. I started to notice changes in him around the age of 3 1/2,and took him to be evaluated. At that time they said, ADHD and wanted to place him on meds. I said no at that time. His behavior got worse and worse. he went from being at loving child, to one who very rarely interacted with even family. His behavior got so bad that he was kicke out of 1 daycare, and on the way out of another. He had Horrible mood swings, very impulsive, no friends that he played with (played beside others), and didnt take change well. 2 years ago (age 4) i took him back. We did place him on an ADHD med at that time. However in his case, about four months later they all decided he had a “mood disorder”. He would hit hit me bit me, bit himself, hit his head on the wall, and yell at me that was going to kill me. Then 15-20mins he was back to normal and sorry. He’s not like that anymore. Doctors are careful with labeling kids “Bipolar”, so sometimes kids get multiple lables now until they get older, because Bipolar in children can show themselves as ADHD/anxiety/mood disorders. There are others that can confuse the issuse to. I would warn you to take a “label” of Bipolar if thats what they say, because it can be so over diagnosed in children these days. Get a second opinion first if thats what they decide. hope this helps, coming from a mom who has been in your shoes.

I think it’s absurd to claim it demonic spirit or whatever. Yes I have Bipolar. Cyclothymia is what they have called it. Anyways………..I feel that “situations” and “people” can exasperate or trigger an episode in a person doing fairly well. I recently went through a riff with a family member but, realized it was best to end the relationship as intimate as it was because, it was eating me away emotionally and draining me at the same time. Just because a person with bipolar has an episode doesn’t make them horrible. Sometimes other people can make it worse even. I know this for a fact as I am in therapy to learn to eleviate myself of these stressing people.

My Daughter has major mood swings and flips out on me hits me and Kicks me does mean things to my pets and other children, for a long time now she has been back and forth to the doctors and has been label ADHD, Aspergers Syndrom and mood disorder now they are saying she is bi-polar I do believe they over diagnos this and feel they should do more testing to get to the bottom of it but the first thing they all want to do is put kids on medicine because its easir to drug them than to actually take the time to figure out what is wrong, it took my daughter trying to push my mom down the steps before anyone would help me they don’t want to take the time with their patients like they should.

sir… even i need help.. i shirk work and find many excuses to sit ideal… i am euen criticised for this.. help me out.

hello sir.
are u a specialist in CHILD and ADOLSCENT psychaitry?
in case u deal in this aspect please let me know whether” how can we interact with u on personal behalves…..send us ur e-mail ID or ur residing address. otherwise convey us the address of mandatory required specialist.
please prescribe the recent available medicine which brings desired appropriate results for “DYSTHYMIA”.

The roller-coaster ride has changed over time…been there, have many t-shirts at 50+…I was diagnosed at 40, and today I am almost manageable under medication, but still have trouble with mania and getting enough rest. Being tired sets off negative behaviour and thoughts; obsessive behaviour & binges get me in trouble…so frustrating!!!
I keep thinking I have a handle on things and then poof it’s all crazy again!!! I am so grateful for my husband who loves me despite my madness and is so understanding of my peculiarities. I feel lucky my circumstances are what they are..the world is a difficult and unforgiving place, I feel deeply for those who must add loneliness to the challenges of this disease.

i was going to send this e-mail to a family member & then realized the symptoms fit me ! i have had “problems” but becoming aware of my thoughts & behavior patterns and having been given permission to have a Higher Power of my own understanding, has helped me little by little over a period of about 8 yrs. to get to the point where i am now. plus exercise helps my mental state immensely. my mother had these same tendencies & i did not want to be bound by meds because i have that type of addictive personality that can get out of control. i believe in 12 step programs.

I have a husband who is bipolar and is tearing our family apart,
where do i begin?

my son (age 16) agrees with his psychiatrist’s diagnosis of having bipolar disorder but refuses to take his med (neurotin @ 300mg/day. He feels “i’m fine” and “i don’t need any medicine. he’s not fine and he is frequently manic, punches holes in our walls and hostile or tearful without warning and certainly inconsoleable. I tried insisting he take his med and he won’t hear of it. I’m at a point of wanting to crush it up and hide it in his food. Any suggestions?

I have a daughter diagnosed with bipolar due to a family entervention but, I just learned that she is not taking her medication as she should, how can we help her? I also have a daughter inlaw that refuses to get help and I believe she is bipolar, she has all the systoms. She says nothing is wrong with her. How can we help her? It is affecting the marriage and the family.

I have Bipolar disorder and work with those who have a mental illness. I’m sick of hearing people say I’m this or I’m that. I tell those I work with and for that they should say “I have this or I have that”, that they are not their illness. They are someone with hopes, dreams, and desires just like anyone else! It also makes me mad when someone says “your this or your that”. NO I’M NOT!! I’m sick and tired of labels and stigma. If ignorance is bliss, I want no part of it!

I think i might be bipolar, not sure, i’ve read up on sign and symptoms and more than not i’m relating to them. i dont have medical insurance so expensive perscriptions are not something i can do. i have no idea on how to control myself when my mood swings kick in. if there are any help centers or tips from anyone out there i’d love to hear it…

good.

I was just told im bipolar and im takeing my meds. I have seen so many posts of parents who dont know what to do about thier children or loved ones who wont take meds. For those with children, tough love is the way to go they will thank you in the end. I went to an in patient facility. I entered sayign thier was nothing wrong with me. 7 days later i relized how much better the meds made me feel. Do what you need to to get them help now before you have no control and they start using drugs or start self medicating. Good luck!

TO ALL OF YOU THAT HAVE SOMEONE IN YOUR LIFE THAT IS BIPOLAR, DO NOT GIVE UPON THEM! AND TO ALL OF YOU THAT ARE NOT SURE IF YOU ARE BIPOLAR AND YOU WANT TO FIND OUT. THERE ARE MANY HOSPITALS THAT HAVE FUNDS OR VERY LOW OR EVEN NO COST PROGRAMS TO HELP YOU. EVERY HOSPITAL HAS A CERTAIN AMOUNT OF PEOPLE THAT THEY CAN HELP AND THEY WILL EAT THE COST. I KNOW THIS BECAUSE I AM IN THE MEDICAL FIELD AND I KNOW A BIT TOO MUCH ABOUT HOW HOSPITALS RUN THEMSELVES. THEY HAVE PROGRAMS THAT WILL HELP YOU AND THEY WRITE IT OFF AS A TAX DEDUCTION. I HAVE A SISTER THAT WAS AN ALCOHOLIC AND SHE DID DRUGS SINCE SHE WAS 11YEARS OLD. MY SISTER WAS PUT INTO SEVERAL MENTAL HEALTH FACILITIES AND SHE JUST NEVER GOT THE PROPER DIAGNOSIS UNTIL SHE WAS 36 YEARS OLD. SHE WAS FINALLY DIAGNOSED WITH BIPOLAR. FINALLY WE HAD ANSWERS FOR EVERYTHING THAT NEVER QUITE ADDED UP OR MADE SENSE. MY SISTER HAD BEEN DIAGNOSED FOR A FEW YEARS AND SHE JUST COULDN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE. SHE GOT TIRED OF THE MULTIPLE HOSPITAL STAYS AND ALL THE PRESCRIBED MEDS. SHE FINALLY GAVE UP AND TOOK HER OWN LIFE. SHE WAS 36 AND SHE LEFT BEHIND MY 6 YEAR OLD NIECE. SHE JUST HAPPENED TO FIND HER MOTHER DEAD AND COULD NOT WAKE HER UP. MY SISTER GAVE UP AND TOOK HER OWN LIFE. MY MOTHER WAS THE ONLY ONE THAT STOOD BY HER ALL THOSE YEARS. THE REST OF THE FAMILY HAD BECOME SO DISCUSSED WITH MY SISTERS BEHAVIOR THAT WE ALL TREATED HER LIKE A LEPER. WE HAD ALL HAD ENOUGH OF HER BREAKING ALL OF OUR HEARTS, ESPECIALLY MY MOTHERS. MY MOTHER JUST DIED RIGHT ALONG WITH HER. MY MOTHER WENT INTO A DEEP DEPRESSION THAT SHE NEVER CAME OUT OF AND IT TOOK HER 6 YEARS but my mother also gave up. SHE LET HER HEALTH GO AND SHE WOUND UP GETTING CUSTODY OF MY NIECE. MY FAMILY AND I TRIED TO HELP MY MOTHER AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE BUT SHE JUST COULDN’T FACE LIFE WITH OUT HER YOUNGEST CHILD. MY ENTIRE FAMILY HAS BEEN DESTROYED BY ALL THAT HAS HAPPENED. MY BROTHER WAS AND IS SO VERY ANGRY ABOUT MY SISTERS DEATH THAT HE IS LIKE A WALKING VIOLENT TIME BOMB. HE HAS NEVER COME OUT OF THE RAGE HE FELT SINCE SHE DIED. I HAVE READ A LOT OF BOOKS ON GRIEF AND SOME PEOPLE JUST DON’T COME OUT OF THAT ANGER. I THINK THAT IS WHAT IS GOING ON WITH HIM. MY SISTERS ANNIVERSARY OF HER DEATH WILL BE 7 YEARS THIS SUMMER. 7 USE TO BE MY LUCKY NUMBER BUT NOT ANYMORE. SO PLEASE IF YOU LOVE OR CARE ABOUT SOMEONE WHO HAS THIS MENTAL ILLNESS FIGHT THEM AND MAKE THEM KICK IT’S BUTT. YOU HAVE TO MAKE THEM SEE THAT THEY HAVE TO FIGHT AND GO ON. DON’T LET THEM JUST GIVE UP LIKE MY SISTER, BECAUSE THEY LEAVE A VERY BROKEN HEARTED SICK FAMILY AND FRIENDS BEHIND. MAKE THEM FIGHT FOR THEIR LIFE. I PRAY MY STORY HELPS SOMEONE AND THEY COME OUT BETTER THAN MY SISTER DID. GOOD LUCK TO YOU AND MAKE GOD BLESS YOU AND KEEP YOU IN THE PALM OF HIS HANDS. THANK YOU LTD

Your story hit me right in the face. My husband suffers from bipolar and it has such a great impact on my life as well as his own. I have been a the breaking point myself just to say I can’t do this anymore, its your life and if you want to screw it up then do it alone, but thank you so much for sharing your experience it has made me feel like I can go a few steps forward again.

Just this weekend I was fantasizing about how I can make an exit from this life in a way that would not hurt any of my family members, but kept concluding it is impossible not to do so! I was diagnosed with bipolar just 6 years ago. I’m 46 now. Looking back, I realize how destructive it has been all my life. I didn’t understand why certain things happened. Today I got into a funk (with negative thinking). I prayed to God to rid me of the feelings and impulses. I prayed so hard, cried and implored for immediate intervention so intensely, that it wasn’t until I felt a sense of peace overcome me, that I stopped. When the thoughts went away, I knew my prayer was heard.
My pills are just a crutch. The day-to-day dirty work of dealing with this thing is the real hard part. I know that I cannot force others to understand what I have, that if I alienate people because of “annoying”, “excessive” or “unbearable” behavior, that they have the right to go away. But it is extremely painful when it happens. It’s painful to see someone you love look at you funny-weird, or just be scared. You just want to be loved unconditionally. NO ONE wants to be called (or thought of) as crazy. It’s hurtful! Most of the time I try to act “normal” just to hide what I have (which is almost impossible- you can’t help being you). I can only compare it to the the experience of when being gay meant hiding all the time. I realize that showing my “true colors” is not 100% socially acceptable. People cannot say they have BP. You lose work if you do. You’re ostracized!!
This blog is one outlet, but it is not enough! I want full, open acceptance and love around me, not just on line. I’m suffering right now. To me, underneath the BP anger and lashing out, there is a sweet inner child that craves love and attention. But I hate that child! (He’s like Rosemary’s baby!) Instead of starving it, I should embrace the beast after it roars. I feel like I have two personalities, the caretaker and the ill child. But the fact is, I do have to coexist with the monster. It ain’t pretty! I rationalize by thinking I am unique, and that maybe God will give me (and anyone who loves me) extra credit points for dealing with it. The “baby” still needs to be nursed sometimes. It will require much attention and discipline. I just choose to believe love will conquer its evil in the end. But it sucks! For now, I try to distinguish the negative thoughts (the chemical imbalance) from the person I AM: a loving child of God. This helps me overcome some of the darkest moments of despair. And remember that Nothing is permanent.
It has been a very painful journey. I’ve lost the chance for great relationships, but my faith tells me that all those broken ties will tell a story one day, like so many have, and that one day someone will listen to the URGENT CALL to discover and destroy the gene that made them all happen. In the meantime, I trust the Lord, my God, who knows the trouble I’m in, and help me hang on sot he can transform me into the beautiful, sweet swan I was meant to be.

I need to make two corrections: It is impossible to leave this world intentionally without hurting others. And it is not the sweet inner child I hate. I is having Bipolar that I hate. Thanks for reading.

I have come from a disfunctional PH D Family; my upbringing is the result of who we become as adults; I have issues such as accepting or understanding why I continue to make same mistakes and have no control and so much energy to do all then some days I feel the opposite; I realize now in my 40′s that I am bipolar; a single parent raised three children two daughters graduating with a masters degree and the other a bachalors degree and working on my youngest son now to fihish his HS to go to college while I am still a Reservist in the US Army deployed served in combat zones and this bipolar disorder allowed me to survive while in combat since my thoughts or feelings where not reacting as what you might call normal to me it was more like an adventure and I had to pinch myself to realized where I was and survived achieving my mission with recognigtion. Some how the structure and the way the army has control of a person has helped me be in control. Bipolar people need to be in a control environment; and yes, medicatated with proper medication and not sedated. It takes someone to ensure medication is taken since as myself I hate taking medication. Till this day I am dealing with been consistant with my medication and have not followed my doctocs orders which I feel bad so I really need to take it serious and be in control since it has affected still my goals to achieve by talking about it and not making it happen! Prayer is deliverence but when we don’t follow orders to be consistent then we need to be monitored until we have achieve a balance where we can then follow orders.

Dear Wanda:
I think you are dead-on about a structured environment. It really helps to have continuity, too. Right now I’m not working full-time as a teacher. I substitute to avoid the stresses that come along with it, but I miss it. I can’t imagine your being in the army with bipolar. I thought they screened for that. What happens if you’re in a stressful situation? If it is all true, then the only thing I can say is, take your meds. It doesn’t sound like you have deep issues, so just take your meds, and enjoy your life. Some of us are not that lucky. I miss working. I haven’t been able to have a family, and I can’t even have a lasting relationship because even LOVE cannot change what I have. It will never go away. That makes me very sad and depressed the thought that I might end up alone in this world because of BP. Count your blessings that you have had a family and solid accomplishments.

Hello
I have lost 2 jobs to bipolar and parkinson. I miss working and being with people. It is hard to be home and brings the depression and feelings or worthlessness. I also miss the pay check and my own money.

My older sister and her husband are both bipolor. There moods always clash the others. I’m very under standing of her,She made growing up interesting…

I have been diagnoised with Bi-Polar since 1999. I am on zyprexa, wellbutrin/lamictal and prozac. It is a scarey disease the more I find out about it. I wish there was a cure so that I don,t think that I will have it until the rest of my life.
—————
Edward David
Dual Diagnosis
Dual Diagnosis

I am a Canadian male and I have been bipolar for 39 years. At first they didn’t have a name for it and they just gave me drugs. I didn’t like the feelings I got when medicated so I stopped taking my pills and started to use street drugs. For thirty years I fought addiction until one day I overdosed. I was in a coma for a month and a half and when I came to, they had been giving me my medicine intraveneously, I was in a fog for four years and then I slowly started to come out of it. I’m still drug squishy from the pills but I don’t feel suicidal and I can sleep most every night. My doctor says I will be this way for ever so I just have to get used to it.

Hello, almost everyone knows me by Eva . I am Bipolar. I need help. I have gone so far on my espenses that is not funny my fiance says. We argue almost everyday. I hate people telling me what to do or saying I am wrong in something. I shop when I feel like it . I run all my credit cards which are about 9 of them. I am about to loose my car and I don’t have a job. I am desperately in need of help . I don’t have any insurance any more and I am about to finish my last medication. I feel lonely and depress.I stop taking my meds for about 2 or 3 months and I started just this week. my kids are kind of mad at me. I need help. I called my Dr. but she never return my call. I am about to loose my phone also because I don’t have the money to pay for it. I don’t have any mone on my account , and I don’t have any food in the refrigetator because my fiance is broke and I don’t have any money. I just tried not to think about but I feel sad and angry that I don’t have any money and I am about 3 pmts. late on all my credit card. I use to take drugs about some months ago because I taught that was the best way to feel better and I spent every penny I had in that and shopping ,”God knows what is it that I bought because I don’t have any thing.I buy things to people to make me feel good and I like when people pay attention to me I like to be the center of attetion when I go to a family party. I get angry just off and on . I get sad and irritated at some things that normal people will just laugh about it.My life right now is so uncontroled. I feel like I am going through a dark tunnell and I don’t see the end of it. I really confuse because I just sleep some 2 to 3 hours and then I am ready with energy and I don’t eat much. also my sex apetite is amazing and I make my fiance feel bad because he is not up for hours and hours of sex like I want too.My doctor said to me that I am a sex addict also. I do love my fiance and some times I don’t tell him anything and I act like I am satisfy to make him feeel good . And some times I get mean and go off on him and tell him some words to make him feel bad and after I had said those mean words I tell him I am sorry and I just don’t know why I get so pisst off so angry its seems like I get happy when I am mean to him. I guess is because I think in my own mind that I get even by telling him words that put his manhood down I get even for not satisfying me the way I want to.I don’t know what the hell is going to happen to me but I so ,mad at myself because I feel like I lost my power when I can’t buy more stuff or when I don’t have any fun, I call it fun to shopp and do anything I want I don’t care if I spend all day at the stores and I don’t care about anything else but me having control over every thing . I like to feel powerfull. IF THIS IS TOOO INSANE FOR SOME OF YOU THEN SORRY I DON’T HAVE TO HEAR FROM YOU IF YOU DON’T WANT TO DROP ME A COMENT . BUT IF YOU HAVE A SOLUTION FOR ME LET ME KNOW. LOL. MS. EVA C. DIMAS.WHITTIER ,CA.

Està muy interesante. Cuando tengas tiempo de leerlo.
Monitor translation: This is very interesting. When you have time to read it.

This is actually for every/anyone whom reads this. Life is full of trials and tribulation. If you came here to read/post then you have been blessed with an angel to get this mesage to you. Bow down and sincerely pray, it is sometime very hard to understand the situations that are before us, but faith will get us through it. What you cry for now, there are a billion people whom cry is far more greater than yours. Remember those people in your prayers also. I know you can over come this. You have been given a sign now act on it. Pray.

Hi, I’m a registered nurse living with bipolar disorder for about 9 years now; I’m considered disabaled and have not worked for the last 2 yrs. I’m just now coming to a place where the medication works. It doesn’t take away the symptoms, it just makes me aware if I’m manic or depressed; I cycle back and forth: 3 weeks manic and 2 weeks depressed. I can not get dressed for a week, sleep for days, and then the cycyle turns and within 2 days, I’m bouncing off the walls manic again. It feels crazy! I go to church, (live at the beach)go beachcombing, do my photograghy, go to Curves workout, and write. Its all therapy for me; better then the many counselors I’ve seen and accomplished nothing. I don’t do anything alot except isolate. I’ve had the nice car, good credit, and a great husband-lost it all due to the 14 signs/symptoms above. I’m just coming to terms that I have a chemical imbalance -sort of like menopause, lol- and this is my life. I am me, I am not my illness. There is so much more to me than that.

hi ,this is for janet.i am an RN way younger than you are and just happened to read this i would just say that you are very brave and whatever you are doing to help your imbalance is great ,it is not an illness it is just a way of life and make the most of it,i can only pray that you be strong and continue to do whatever you like in apositive direction

Hi this is Korri, I was considered by the doctor as having mood swings and not necessarily bipolar. I am loosing the use of my right hand due to saving a mans life in a fight at work. This has been going on for over two years. I do get moody and feel no one cares the struggles I go through on a daily basis. My husband thinks after each surgery I’ve had (9) you can just bring me home & the next day I can be me again. Who am I now though. Alot races through my mind clear back from being alittle girl. Things seem so overwhelming and the pain is unbareable. But I keep hearing its gonna be ok, STOP FEELING SOORRY FOR YOURSELF. I too like to go shopping, theres people who seem concerned there. I feel like packing all my stuff and disappearing and my husband says its all in my head. lol I WISH!! I go through the loneliest feels ever, and it takes me for ever to get ready to go some place. My aquaintance all seem to take advantage of me and I let it happen because at least I feel needed. I don’t go to the doctor or take meds just try and cope. I would love to be normal what ever that is .
We just call me George….

i was diagnose with bipolar then it has turned into bipolar with schizo tendecies.6 years.the meds and depression have me so over weight.what to do???

My heart goes out to all of you who have posted.
I don’t like taking medication, and still don’t. However, with the help of a great psychiatrist, meds, and therapist, I am dealing with my bipolar better than before meds. Each to their own.
Cynthia, I don’t know what meds you are on, but if weight gain is an issue, talk to your doctor. I watch what I eat, exercise (most walking), and I still gained 20 lbs, which was putting my self esteem in the toilet. I spoke with my doctor, and she changed my seroquel (notorious for weight gain, but no one told me that earlier), to a medication in the same family without the weight gain (Geodon).
Sometimes it unfortunately trial and error to get the correct meds for your particular system. They doubled my Lamictal, added Neltrexone to my Campral (acholism anti-craving drugs), and upped my Zoloft.
It took awhile, but made a big difference for me. The Geodon is very recent, and I’m anxious to see if it helps me lose weight and “this big belly that I’ve never had in my life”. Good luck, Cynthia.
Hugs, Blanche

I have a husband who exhibits most of these symptoms. His mother is bi-polar. He seems to cope better than she with the depression. Any tips for living with a bi-polar? He can drive me to complete distraction…It’s like having a tornado in your house. He creates a whirlwind of emotions, disorder, and chaos whereever he goes. It seems he can’t just be peaceful. Help!

crap! I think I might be bipolar! :/ lol
Anyhow, it’s interesting to know that now!

The professionals seem to think that I am BiPolar. If I am, then I have many more depressed episodes than manic ones. When I am manic I am hateful, hurtful, irritable, etc. When I am depressed, I am very depressed and it takes alot to get me out of it. My medication is Cymbalta and Dilantin for seizures. Can anybody suggest anything else to help me? E-mail me at sillysusie53@yahoo.com Thanks for any and all help!

I was diagnosed with bipolar many years ago, I was told it could have been caused from the sexual abuse I went through as a child into my teenage years. I received counseling and I am currently on meds-(divalproex) but I still feel depressed at times. Perhaps it is my lifestyle, I try to do things positive but I get belittled and I have no support from others. I don’t know what to do sometimes…

I was diagnosed with bipolar after my parents passed away although I was showing signs before. My children suffered silently not understanding my behaviors. I was a single mom and just attributed by behavior as normal stress or PMS. It is much easier to deal with now that I am in treatment. Sometimes I get so sick of being sick. It is a difficult illness not only for me but for my family and friends.

does anyone know any natural remedies for bipolar?

I don’t know how to start off, but here I go. I have 2 beautiful children that are 3 and 5 yrs. old. They are for the most part great kids. I get very aggitated quickly and annoyed w\ alot of the things they do or don’t do. I feel I yell too much and sometimes say things I don’t mean and I know I’m hurting them and I don’t want to be like this to my children. I want to be a good mom and I love my children but I feel so stressed and aggitated all the time. I should enjoy being w\ them and have fun w\ them. I just can’t seem to do it and calm down. I don’t know if I’m bipolar or I have some other problem. What should I do or can anyone help me figure how to make this better?!

i was married to a man for 25 years and at least ten of them didnt know what was going on. He would be soooo cruel for no reason , break things, spit on me the abuse was un real once physical though my lawyer says that throwing things is physical abuse we just all got out of the way. nothing could be fixes because it was me he totally would seem to forget things that had happened and we were all supposed to forget them as well. as i would be cleaning up the glass from the beta vase fish gasping for air he would say he didnt like it on the table or he didnt like the table there. we found out he was bipolar about l0 years into the marriage when the family was at the humane society at an event and he kept griping at other people for no reason, then we got in the car (small children) and gripe at me….always fun times spoiled by an episode..even disney people dont fight at disney the looks we got…i told him then if he didnt find out what was going on we were leaving .he had gone from calmer episodes to doing violent things and being in public didnt make any difference. after going on prozac it seemed to help but he messed with his meds taking them then not….weekends were “hell” he traveled during the week leaving l0-12 + calls a day to check up on myself and the kids to see if the lawn was cut or we had been in the pool…if we didnt use it he was going to take it down…it made me think i was losing my mind i began losing myself his episodes my crying hysterically feeling so trapped in something i didnt understand….in seeing a therapist i find i have anxiety attacks i never had before being married to him, post traumatic stress syndrome major events gone from my mind because of the arguemnt that went on previously..un believable spending sprees with money we didnt have he went on and blamed me for us having no money…..at the end i had money saved for our sons college my husband knew it and came after me with a demeanor and voice i was very afraid of…he wanted that money and i said no….i became terribly afraid of him, he was the only one working at the time so he had his paychecks deposited in his own account…. i saw no money if i didnt have gas money i’d have to stay home….he would buy himself outfits head to toe and buy the groceries things we didnt eat then go out to his sisters to eat at her house for decent food. the kids had no money for school i tried to get a job but couldnt find one fast enough….the violence became worse i was afraid to go downstairs in front of him , slept on a mattress in the spare room he was always getting mad and wouldnt let me in the bedroom at night. my kids and i slept in back of locked doors in our own home…. I filed for divorce and when the papers came hid in the bathroom for hours because i was afraid he would hurt me… now divorced he blames me ….if i send him information about his diagnosed disorder he says he doesnt have it….tried taking himself off his meds and heard voices that told him to kill himself and the dr. told him NEVER to tried that again …he still from a distance thru emails will try threatened me but he lives 6 hours away the fear is gone of him…he tells me he has a new woman who doesnt push his buttons and knows better then to argue with him …she puts up with him….she is a lot older then he is so maybe she has more patience then i had…it must be a horrible thing to have but people who get married should know ahead of time that a person has it if they know themselves..it is no easy task being a supporter you must be a very strong person .

I’m no psychiatrist, as such I am not sure if effexor is an SSRI, but SSRI’s (like zoloft) are known to worsen bp by setting up a cyclical pattern.
Bp has an achilles; it is education.
Best wishes.

I wanted to tell everyone, I been living in pure hell ever since, I found out my daughter is bypoler, the worst of it. The meds thats a joke, they don’t work on her, been trying since she was 9 years old. And she makes are life hell, we took her to disneyland and after it was over she says she hated it and she was bored again. I cannot keep her happy anymore, she will be 18 next month, I want to know how do i get her living in a group home or eles where? She thinks now she is the boss over us, treats us with cussing, and then gets so angery even if we say not today tomm maybe, she breaks my door, I had her in the skyview for schools paid over 16,000 did the 4 months help no got worst. Please help me tell me what can i do now? I just want to get it over and done with, I have battled cancer, and othere things as well, and when your daughter says i hope you die i hate you kills me. I have always tried to help her in all i do, and its not good enough. just about to give up please help me, all anyone wants is money at these programs which we don’t have now. I pay 50.00 for psy app, and 40.00 for her therp and over 200.00 a month for meds that don’t work. please any help hear would help out alot.

What about mood swings, getting annoyed and mad easily, throwing stuff when mad

hey my name is heather im 15 and I have a bipolar disorder. I’ve always been made fun or for it but I guess thats just 1 part you wont ever get over. We do tend to hurt peoples feelings but not on purpose, but it hurts worst when the world just walks out on you. You feel lonely, hurt, confused, and unloved. And thats what gets me mad. It seems that when I walk in, the rest of the worlf walks out. so please just stop saying you don’t know what to do with people who are bipolar, just treat us like normal people!!!!!

I suspect my gf has a bipolar disorder. She says things today and she forgets tomorrow. She always tries to save money but when she likes something she spends all the money she’s saved in a couple of seconds. She keeps thinking she is just 21 years old (shes 45 now)and she is a princess. Oh my Goodness !!!I used to live with her for two years and now I moved out and broke up with her a month already because of her bipolar disorder. This illness really kills my relationship with her. When I mentioned that she needs to see doctor, she laughed. The 14 signs listed above she got 12. I guaranteed that my EX gf is having bipolar disorder.

My most pressing signs of bipolar disorder are spending sprees and grandiose beliefs about what I can accomplish. I am a middle-aged, divorced and have 6 children. What are some suggestions about reducing spending sprees? I want to make sure that my bipolar disorder does not become a financial burden for my children.

I like to do meth and drink. I let everyone think i am disabled and i am but i also do the drugs and drink. Do you think that it effects my meds. docs dont know everything as long as i get the cash for acting wierd i dont care

Symptoms of bipolar disorder are severe. They are different from the normal ups and downs that everyone goes through from time to time. They can result in damaged relationships, poor school performance and even suicide. The child throws violent, destructive temper tantrums that can last for hours. The child hits, kicks, destroys property and may threaten to harm someone else, mood swings and strange behaviors occur unpredictably. The child shows signs of hyper sexuality, sleep disturbances and inability to sleep occur periodically.

I have got to say something, My POS DEAD BEAT bio “dad” Robert Landahl posted the comment under my aunt Lori Landahl’s name, I believe it is crap because it holds no truth what so ever!I am asking the owner of this website to take it off. He is a sociopath and can’t stop trying to ruin her life! So please remove the dang comment because it hold NO CREDIT AT ALL! he is describing himself and I am sick of his abuse towards our family. Thank you!