I'm somewhat of a competitive person in nature, which is, most of the time, a real liability. But last weekend this quality of mine came in handy.
I checked my work e-mail bright and early Saturday morning, and one had the potential of ruining my weekend, because it reminded me of the letter of "constructive criticism" my friends Angela and Karen handed me in the fourth grade. (You'd think I'd be over it by now.)
I obsessed about this e-mail for an hour, and then I decided to do the unthinkable: shut down the computer.
Eric and I loaded the double stroller with towels, sunscreen, Little Mermaid surf boards, and Ariel water wings, and headed to the pool, where we met a few of our friends.
"Hey, John," I said to the ex-marine we hang out with, "you're a good swimmer, right? Let's race!"
He shook his head no.
"But," he said, "I challenge you to swim underwater to the other side of the pool without taking a breath."
I looked at the one side, and then the other side, and thought it was at least 25 yards, maybe 25 meters. And there were tons of kids that I'd have to swim around--so the path would be longer than 25 years (or meters).
"Okay, I'll do it!" I said. Because I didn't want the ex-marine thinking I was a wuss.
Now I didn't have goggles and I couldn't see all that well under water. I thought I was going to pass out halfway through, but the thought of failing at this mission killed me, so I figured somebody would eventually see me at the bottom of the pool if I did, really, run out of air or had brain damage.
Finally I saw the wall! My hands felt the way up to the surface, and voila! There I was at the other side! Situated, mind you, in between two guys drinking some beers in a conversation that I was embarrassed to have interrupted.
At that moment I thought about how my work sometimes takes over my life, and how the opinions of people--especially those readers who like to trash and run (anonymously)--still have way too much power in my head.
So I challenged myself, yet again!
I bet you can't go a whole day without checking your e-mail, I baited myself.
I bet I can! The competitive voice responded.
I envisioned this challenge just like swimming under water without taking a breath. And you know what? I didn't make it.
BUT I did much better this time (SIX hours!) than I have in a very long time, and I think that is because I approached it just like the swimming competition: as a contest with myself.
I have, since then, been giving myself mini-challenges throughout the day.
For example, I've been feeling badly about all the TV my kids watch, so I made a rule that between 3 and 4 in the afternoon, there are no electronics in our household. And that also applies to me! This is my technology time-out, as well.
Every time I'm tempted to sneak a peek at my e-mail, or break the rule, I see the face of my ex-marine friend ... with a wide smile as I surface from the water before making it to the end of the pool (he would have won the bet). And that keeps me going another fifteen minutes of no e-mail.
So I'm here to challenge you to do that thing in your life that you want to do, but that's hard. Treat it like a contest with a good friend (your alter ego). And even if it takes a few trial sessions, I bet you'll get closer to the goal than you think.
To read more Beyond Blue, go to www.beliefnet.com/beyondblue, and to get to Group Beyond Blue, a support group at Beliefnet Community, click here.
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I recently lost my job, I am having a really tuff time right now. As I have a disabled husband to care for, I am the bread winner of the family. I lost my job of my own doing I guess. Since raising my family, I was a stay at home mom, my blessing. I went out into the work force about 15yrs ago, I started low, and worked my way up to a great position, in the business world. Not on my own mind you I had help every step of the way. Well now here I am again at the bottom, I am not sure where to go from here. I have had a couple of interviews but, 1-I wasn['t qualified enough, 2- Was perfect but only part time no benefits, then there was 3- you know that 3 stricks and your out, well I am out. (over qualified for this one). So I need insperations like this story. Thank you
Talk about perfect timing getting around to reading my mail.
My b/f just signed him, his daughter and myself up for the YMCA.
Mind you I am not a biker, walker, jogger, swimmer or anything. I go about my life and take care of house and work business and that is it.
Well yesterday was my "first day" in this water excercise class and it kicked my butt. I don't want to go back, I don't want to excercise, I have every excuse under the sun not to go to the Y.
Guess what? I am going back today. Like that bet you took with the ex-marine....that attitude of "oh you think I can't?"? The honey basically gave me a dare and I refuse to let him win.
If that is what it takes to motivate me well then God just keep on giving me small "dares" and I will take the challenge.
Nan aka sixlittlekitties
Thank you for writing about this bit of competition for yourself. This gave, no inspired me to do the same when I feel myself wanting that ice cream cone or bit of chocolate. I am going to be 50 this year and I wanted to loose at least 20 pounds before my birthday (September). Now, seeing your article, it has definitely helped and I think, no I know that I will be pushing myself to loose that weight. THANK YOU THANK YOU. You are an inspiration. Carol Carroll.
Thank you:
This helps inspire me.
God bless you.
I don't know where to begin...The last 8 and almost 9 months have been a tremendous season of loss, grieving, working on rebuilding my life and much spiritual growth.
My daughter went to heaven...my other children and family disowned me...I am in a strange city with no friends...have not been able to fully find a church that is spirit filled, positive , bible based, and practical except one. It is too far time wise and too costly fuel wise.
I am seeking God's purpose for my life and with His help and making headway. He left me here for a reason...I truly want to fulfill the purpose He has for me.
I can only offer this advice from my experience these last months:
1) Stay focused on Jesus
2) Don't get distracted by the world
3) Never, ever, ever give up
I pray this prayer daily and sometimes more than once. Enjoy. Hope this helps:
"Father, put your desires in my heart, because I don't know anything. I only want to be in your perfect will in every area of my life, every day of my life." "Your will and not mine. I humbly and totally surrender my life and my will to you. Here I am Lord, wherever, whenever."
I am excited about all of the healing that has taken place and is still working. He is revealing His will for me almost daily. The bottom line for me...He loves me so very much...is in complete control of all of me...is healing me throughout. I came into this world alone and will go out alone...just me and Him. I experienced it with my daughter.
The best is yet to come! Blessings. My prayers are with you!=))
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