Sex and the City of Annapolis: That's What Friends Are For
Thursday June 26, 2008
Categories: Friendships, Relationships
I hate to disappoint you, but this post isn't about sex. You already know all the details on my sex life, (and if you need a review, you can click here to read my post "Sex Night: Beyond Blue...
Filed Under: Beyond Blue, depression, depression blog, friendship, marriage, recovery, sex, Sex and the City, Therese Borchard
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Your post really hits home, Therese.
I just got out of the hosp again (yea, Aurora Psych Unit 3), this time for suicidal thoughts, so my treatment is for mental health rather than substance.
I'm learning that I was putting the cart before the horse and not getting to the bottom of why I think the way I do.
Notably, my "friends" haven't tried to call or email me once. Since they drink a lot, maybe it's not a bad thing, but still disappointing.
The other friends I have at work are the ones who checked on me, and gave me unconditional support.
So much for the other friends..... God Bless
It's tough when you don't have friends and have to go through suicidal thoughts, severe anxiety and depression as I do.
Blanche and Karen, thanks for sharing your thoughts. I'm sure anyone who reads your words as I just have, will reach out to you in spirit and will pray for you in his or her own way. I will pray that God will send you the right people to give you the support you need, whether it be family, friends, nursing staff, anyone you come in contact with. Peg
WOW! I was amazed at how many of us posted in response to Therese's ways to make friends post. They are GREAT replies and if you all have not read them, go back and check them out. We have all got a little bit closer and made new friends by what we all shared there! Blessed Be
I haven't watched S&TC religiously, but I have watched enough episodes (and laughed and cried with them) to know that I have been missing out on strong, open "girlfriends" friendships - and how desperately I really do need them. I love my SisterFriend of 4 years, but it's impossible to be totally open and real with her. She is ultra guarded, often reading into things that just aren't there. I love her very much, but I needed more - I needed a small group of strong Christian friends who are diverse enough in their world and personal views to keep my vision 20/20, yet unwaveringly commited to the important things in life - God and Family.
And now, God has brought two wonderful women into my life. They aren't too proud to hear some honest, perhapse even blunt, comment and they are willing to lovingly give me their own blunt opinions.
I love not walking on eggshells. I love knowing that I have a force of friends around me. And it means so much to me to have a network of women growing in my life who aren't just using me as "their friend" but are sincere enough in that commitment to really act like it and speak their minds - and expect me to do the same.
"Sex in the City" we are not LOL But I thank God for these beautiful souls He has brought into my life to bring me tangible, audible vision and balance.
Thank you, Therese, for a wonderful blog. I pray that EVERY woman would have friends like yours, like mine, and yes, even ike the S&TC girls :)
Therese,
I am not sure how I originally found your site (about a month ago), but I immediately recognized how much I have in common w/ you and subscribed to the daily newsletter. I just wanted to tell you how much I appreciate your honesty, humor, and writing skills! in sharing your life with others. The people who post comments about your columns are equally as great and you have created a wonderful community. Nice to know none of us are alone in the struggle w/ depression and everything that it brings to one's life. Would be curious to know how many Catholics or lapsed-Catholics make up your site; it seems to be a common thread w/ my friends.
Anyway, thank you for tackling difficult subjects that others are not willing to touch.
therese,
As usual your blog hits the nail on the head. I have been saved by my good friends and injured by lifelong "friends". I had to weed thru who I wanted in my life and who was a liability. This has taken some time, but I owed it to myself not to have anyone in my life who wasn't 100% supportive of me and my family.
After reading todays message, I immediately called my best friend who moved an hour away last year, and who I only see once a month or so now, after raising our sons together for 9 years. She is lonely w/o me and I am w/o her, but we talk on the phone frequently, and I know she is still a great great friend, and an unconditional supporter. My cousins I grew up with have also been there for me thru my trials of depression, and my teenage son's depression and mood disorders. My boy has just been released from Juvenile Hall to house arrest and I am with him pretty much non stop. So, even tho it is more challenging now to get out to see my friends, I still keep in touch by phone and am grateful everyday that they have my back, and I have theirs. We use to meet out for coffee, lunch, etc. but under the current circumstance, they have offered to bring me lunch here, etc. Such a blessing...:)
God bless you and keep reaching out! You are part of my morning reading and I appreciate your thoughts and wisdom.
Deb S (teensmom)
I am blessed to be able to honestly say that my two younger sisters are among my best fried; one older sister isn't but it's becauseSHE made the choice long ago to replace family wit church friends not because we don't love her equally as well. Her choice, her loss, My other closest friend is a cousin my same age. The weird thing about this is that when we were preadolescent and teenagers, we didn't get along at all. She was everything I wanted to be but wasn't...a cheerleader and baton twirler, popular, a good dancer and worthy of wearing a two piece bathing suit. In shrt, I idolized her while she really just wanr=ted to be treated normally; my adulation pretty much gauranteed a lack of closeness then. Instead, in response to my adoration, she liked to picj on me (I was an EXCELLENT victi, thanks to my years of "training as the family's "scapegoat. Yet today as adults she's more like a sister than a cousin; we even-- once in a while when my skin is feling thick-- share a giggle or two about some of the ridiculous things one of us did; me trying to bring her closer, she attempting to climb down from the pedestal I'd put her on. Since my stroke, she's been one of my most loyal supportors, making freuent visits(we're separated by about eighty miles) bringing a newly released movie for us to enjoy togetherspending a full day with me and often bringing a meal she has prepared because he knows it's a favorite of mine. We email almost daily, speak on the phone at least ONCE a week, and she sends me encouraging cards or sayings on refrigerator magnets by snail mail in between those communications. Had someone told EITHER of us that we'd become good friends as adults, neither of us would have believed it and yt here we are, me no longer worshipping, so she no longer needing to keep me at bay. She, like me, has a somewhat skewed sense of humor, sp we spend a lot of time just laughing togther. If life was only a few short hours, she's one individual I would find time for. Her twenty-two year old son and my twenty-three old (twin) nephews always seek out our company at family get togethers, probably becuse we aren't above playing x-rated Balderdash with them and can laugh at or even add to their irreverance in terms of making up definitions. My life would be so much less wihout these three individuals in it. Knowing that someone(s) exust(s) wh will call me up short wnem I need it more than attones for the many hurtful pranks she pulled on me during our youth. At the other end of the spectrum, having people who recognize and value who I tuly am is worth a king's ransom
This post hit home with me as well. I saw the movie with my 22 y/o daughter and we had a great time. But as we were waiting for the movie to begin, I looked around and saw several groups of women friends~one was even a group of 5 or 10 I think.
I don't have that in my life. I am very isolated by way of illnessand not working, empty nesting and a not so social neighborhood. We all get along and help one another on my block. But I have tried countless times over the years we have lived here~book clubs, theater nights, girls night for dinner and drinks. It never holds. Everyone seems to be in their own world.
I lost my Mom 11 years ago who was my true best friend. And the few friends I have are either far away or too enmeshed in their own worlds to care. And my husband....well let's just say after almost 29 years of marraige we fall into the biannual schedule that your friend does, Therese. It's all so lonely, so isolatory, so sad.
Sitting here in my room, I long for that type of friendship, bonds that stick and people that care enough to just do something for you when you can't.
God bless you for the graces of your friendship. I pray I might feel that bond again someday.
Liked your blog. But uncertain why you put the word "annapolis" in your hed.
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