12 Ways to Keep Going

Great post, Therese. Good suggestions. I'm experimenting with trying to "turn the tide" myself these days. I'm going through a very high-stress and anxiety-filled time in my life, and depression is lurking behind every corner. I've been focusing really hard on doing things and thinking in ways that might keep it at bay, and I've been successful so far. My 12 things would probably be a little different, but the idea that we're not completely powerless is what's important about this, I think. In my case, therapy and medication are what have made it possible for me to be aware enough and to have enough energy to fight back finally. Hallelujah!

For all us who suffer from mental illness or even simply having a tough time dealing with all of life's challenges: Thank you!!!!!!!!! And you are simply amazing and inspiring.

Having read this, I now feel so much better about stealing my 5 yr. old's "Elmer's Go Paints" and the coloring book that goes with it. I find myself picking it up every time I need a pick me up & suddenly I'm the "Renoir" of my time. :) I've never been artistic, but for some reason these those little paints make me feel like I can't screw up & if I do, it's not permanent. I can fix it or just start a new page. It's amazing how such a simple thing can make me feel so much better.

So from now on I'll be thinking "whatever works..." use it!

THANK YOU!!! I was "going there" tonight, and made myself do yoga(one of my items from my tool kit thanks to you) the tears came in the middle of the yoga, and I just pressed passed them with my deep breathing, when I could ignore my feelings no longer, I sat on my couch, and said to my higher power what now, then I opened my eyes and saw my laptop. I thought read my tool kit, then I thought read Beyond Blue. And that did it for me. I feel a lot better, Thanks!

Even if you don't blog every day, or every week, when we need you the universe sends us to you and what ever we need is already there from you. It could have been a blog from last week, or last month, or last year. So thank you for when ever you can blog.(in regard to your comments about Perfect Bloger)

These are great guides to interupt our depressive thoughts. I feel better reading Beyond Blue and all other related articles. The time just flies and then it's time to go/do or to bed. These are very useful tools to help me remember the important things and to pitch out the hurtful things. Of course, it doesn't always works perfectly as we well know.

Therese, I am sure you realize that there is a whole army of depressives out here. But I never want you to feel YOU ALONE are keeping us floating. God can help us handle OUR JUNK, but it often takes an outside force to remind of us to just ask Him. Beyond blue is a wonderful place to feel calmer.

I don't want my family or friends to see THIS side of me but with BB I can distance myself from them and concentrate on ME. Thanks to you all.

I read through the 12 steps today while I was at work. I suffer greatly from chronic pain related to a serious car accident 2 years ago. I was in the hospital for 3 months and off work for a year. So, times have been real tough. There are many days I wish I would have just died in the accident but I have 2 beautiful girls to finish raising- that and the Lord are what get me through the dark times . I have been there several times. These steps are really neat I wrote down several ideas and words of wisdom to keep at hand and refer to when I need them. Thank you-Kelli G.

Thank you for always reminding me that it will get better. I suffer from chronic pain caused by 3 failed back surgeries and permanent nerve damage in both legs. When stress increases, so does the pain. Three weeks ago my husband of 20 years told me he wants a more active partner and is leaving me. I have been dragging since. I pray; I try; but it wasn't until my son told my husband that "all mom does is cry all day, Dad, I am scared she is going to do something to herself." He is 15, and not dependent on me for his daily life needs, and I also have a 20 year old son with Bipolar Disorder Type I who is finally stable on his medication and doing well. I can not let the act of their selfish father cause us any more pain. I need to hold it together for them, and then eventually I pray it will turn into me holding it together for ME! God bless and keep on!

This has been somewhat helpful. It's hard to believe that I can change or "heal" from my illnesses and I've been battling them for so long. I have had so many failed relationships and been blamed solely for their demise. I've had relationships with unhealthy people and now that I am in a relationship with a healthy, sweet, loving, caring man, I'm totally blowing it. Ever since we started dating I have been consumed with anxiety and fear. Fear that he'll leave and hate me. Fear that I am not allowed to be happy and that I don't deserve him. I have tried to break up with him a dozen times in eight months and I don't understand why he is still with me. I'm afraid to get too close and feel to safe and secure with him because that happiness and safety has always been harshly ripped away. I don't want to lose him but if I keep pushing away he will eventually stay away. What do I do? How do I get over the fear and anxiety? It's so bad that I wake up in the middle of the night after having nightmares of him cheating on me and laughing in my face about it. Or I dream that he die. I either wake up so angry with him and the world or so hurt and hopeless. The pain is so real as if the bad things in the nightmares actually happened. So I try and end the relationship to save myself more pain and humiliation in the future. But it still hurts and it hurts and confuses him. What do I do? I'm terrified but I love him so much. Help me. Help me end this fear and anxiety. I don't know how to do it myself.

One night when I was ready to take my life, to stop the pain of depression and anxiety, I had a vision or a visitation (call it what you like, it saved my life). It may have been an angel, but at the time I really believed Jesus had manifested at the foot of my bed as I waited for the right time to swallow my bottle of pills.

Suddenly, I was filled with the knowledge that if I were to die, I would never escape the pain and desperation. I would be traped forever a world of pain and anxiety. The worse part of that knowledge at that point would not be that I was forever depressed and sick, but that I could see and watch others suffer from their life problems and not be able to reach them to let them know the truth. The truth that taking your own life puts you not to sleep in a sweet peace forever, but the torture of your own private hell.

I've learned a lot since that day, nearly thirty-three years ago about the Bible, Jesus, Salvation, heaven and hell,(while I still have bi-polar with rapid cycle depression, PTSD, anxiety, degenerative arthritis, COPD, two types of sleep apena and other things too) nothing has served me as well as knowing that suicide is not an answer.It is the beginning of something far worse. I'm so glad He loved me enough to save me and you. God Bless you.

I am just so overwhelmed with debt,grief and family problems until I don't sleep and just worry all the time. I rob Peter to pay pay from one month to another. I don't know how this will end.I think death would be the perfect solution. At least the insurance money would pay all the bills. I have no one to talk to. I live in a very small town where everyone knows everyone. Sometimes I find it so hard to go on from day to day. I worry God to death, and I know he's probably tired of me. There are times when I can't even eat,it makes me sick to even try. I have no one I can talk to.

Jennifer...I agree with Veronika. You should get some help from someone who knows -- but I also think you should watch the movie, "The Secret." I know it saved my life back on May 19, 2008 when I thought my life was over and I couldn't see my way out of my depression and anxiety. After watching the movie, I realized I had to change my way of thinking. Slowly, but surely, over the past two months -- I gradually started to see a shift. Instead of staying in bed all day, I now get up and go to the gym five days a week and come back to a part-time job that I can do at home. I have lost about 25 lbs. and feel so much better about myself. I look forward to waking up now and starting my day instead of dreading it and feeling anxious all the time. I know this is only the beginning and there is so much more that I want to do with my life now. I hope it will help you as much as it helped me. Thank you for sharing.

I HAVE TRIED TO GET MY MOTHER IN LAW OUT OF THE BED FOR MONTHS AND IVE TRIED TELLING HER THIS STUFF. WHAT IS YOUR SUGGESTION ON HOW I SHOULD GET HER UP AND OUT OF THE HOUSE, IN HER MIND SHE HAS ALREADY GIVEN UP AND I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO SHE IS ON PAIN MEDS VERY STRONG ONES AND ALL SHE DOES IS LAY THERE. THANKS FOR YOUR HELP

LENA

PS YOU ARE TRUELY DOING A GOOD THING

This one is for Paula. I don't know what and why you want out of the situation and that is between you and God. But I can tell you that whatever pretty, material things that you have living with this person is not worth your happiness. I know that it is hard to leave but don't sit around and wait because God will hear your crying out and make a way for you for to keep your things. In time he will fix it, but you have to just continue to pray and let them him know that you are willing to let go, because he is knocking you just have to let him in. It's hard, but lift your thine mind and heart to him and he will fix it. Put your focus to the hills and I promise it will be rough, but God is in control.

Paula,
I encourage you to think about the price you are paying for that expensive furniture that you don't want to leave. Furnishings are man made items that can be replaced; either with or without money. You, on the other hand, are priceless and all the money on the planet cannot replace you. If the furniture makes you happy when you are around "the monster" then, by all means stay and be fulfilled. Conversely, when you are "yelled at for petty things" and looking at or touching your furniture does not dull the sting of the anger and humiliation you feel, perhaps you should reconsider your premise for staying. Perhaps defining yourself by what you have is the real problem here rather than taking inventory of who you are as a person and deciding to lighten your load all around. I wish you the best in finding your way and strongly recommend that you speak with your pastor or someone who might be able to help you reframe your priorites. You are more important than your expensive furniture. Peace.

Can you please give me some suggestions on how to make myself get up, get out of the house and do some productive things with my life? I no longer can go to church, shopping in large malls or even out to dinner with my family.

Hi. I have been diagnosed with disthymia. That means I've been in at least a low-grade depression for a long time. As a teenager, I was very much a loner and as an adult a counselor told me I have attachment disorder. I don't know what to do about that.
My kids were born pretty close together and we are almost empty nesters now. I miss my kids. The one child still at home has a mild form of cerebral palsy. I sometimes blame myself for his condition. I had sex while pregnant and I knew my condition was not good. I had placenta previa. I also heard the alarm go off in the NICU and I didn't say anything. There were nurses standing around everywhere and I didn't know why they were ignoring it. I figured, though that since they were, there must not be anything to worry about. It's bothered me ever since.
I've tried opening up to people only to find that they turn against me. I left the church I used to go to because of it and I have been going to another church for about five years now and I haven't gotten really involved, except I sing in the choir and just try to be quiet.
I feel like I have never really succeeded at anything in my life. I started to work toward a goal of being certified for a Jazzercise franchise and my body ran down. My iron, adrenals, thyroid, etc. just slowed down. I felt like my body betrayed me.
I tryed looking up a boy I dated in high school. Stupid, I know. I was just curious to know how his life turned out. He told me more than I wanted to know and he was rude to me. I can't seem to get his words out of my head. I tryed to be supportive and kind, but he seemed to become angrier when I was nice.
I tried getting a job several times, but I always hate it. I really try to break through the initial repulsion of going to work, but I just cry all week-end. I think I'm really terrified of failure.
After reading this, you probably understand why the people I've opened up to were uncomfotable around me. I do. But, really, it's much easier and less threatening to just write it out like this. My husband and I are trying to save money (like everyone else) or I would go back to counseling.

I look forward to reading your ideas and advice of getting through the struggle and surviving. Thank you

to the person that called the old bo from hi school.
look at the positive...thank your lucky stars he is not around you every day with his attitude and compassion or lack of.....as for your life...make a list before i die........then start doing one thing at a time and make your own dreams and keep a journel and write a book about your journey and discoveries ups and downs and then send it to be published...you are not alone.......so many people are going through the journey to and will buy the book .....

Like the others, this came to me at just the right time. My son and I both have mental illness, mineis depression nd his is paranoid szchoprenia and bipolar. Today we both were very overwhelmed with life and spent time together which had positive andnegative effects on me. I was able to talk to my shrink and change some meds, i was having sx of serotonin syndrome (anxiety, restlessness, fast pulse, nausea, etc) this happens when you are on two much SSRI meds sowe are weaning me off one and increasing the other. It is soooo great to have a shrink who really cares and is willing to do those things over the phone since i can/t see her very often. When i havehad a fulltime job which is most of my life i use the slogan, one minute at a time, or one day if i can manage that. I call my AA sponsor if i can even for a few minutes and that really helps, or someone i can trust at work to talk to for a few minutes.Hope that helps, I needed the reminder tonight that i am not alone and that suicide is not the answer even in the darkest storm.

Chere Therese,

you are inspiring us all in wonderful ways, and we all thank you for this.

May I share with you all that the point 12. expresses the POWER FROM ABOVE, Which wants us all at Peace and not in Fear (and anxiety). Besides the Bible, God sent His Only Beloved Son to us, humankind, to show us the Way of LOVE = HIS WAY, which is unconditional Love in Long-Sufferance and Pain Beyond Words can describe or Feelings can 'tell'.

My therapy and medication consist of reading the psalms, Isaiah chapters 11 and 53, which are prophecies about Jesus, saying by heart the prayer to Our heavenly Father, the psalm 23, and the psalm 91 by using my own name at the beginning of each verse :-) And the peace sets in my entire body-mind-soul. And :-))) God sends His provisions for me, to me In His Unimaginable Way for me, for us. We just know IT HAS BEEN HIS WORKS Because no man can do His work.

Dear Jennifer,

In response to your:
"
The pain is so real as if the bad things in the nightmares actually happened. So I try and end the relationship to save myself more pain and humiliation in the future. But it still hurts and it hurts and confuses him. What do I do? I'm terrified but I love him so much. Help me. Help me end this fear and anxiety. I don't know how to do it myself.
"

I do beg of you to 'look' ONLY FORWARD, b/c your past is 'killing' your future, as I 'read' your message.

And, remember or study/read that Jesus Himself asked us to follow Him without looking back!, which is hard for us = slaves of bad/negative memories, with predilection.

God made you Perfect in His Image. Just kneel, and cry to Him through prayer, and He will Help you in a way beyond your expectations. Just believe you deserve the man you are in love with now, and He will work in your favor!

No other person can really cure you. Your battles are yours, and your helper and Savior is Jesus Christ. He already suffered for you... Think of Him, and your nightmares will become dreams of hope and with message!

In July I was struck by such an unexpected misfortune, that I actually stopped eating for... 6 days, until God liberated me from the event, which I could not resolve by asking 'rich' people, and friends to help me. I have just drunk water, and prayed and cried to Him for 6 days, this is how long He allowed the misfortune in my life. Of course, it was a very tough lesson, at the same time. And I am glad, and happy, and crying out loud with Thanks to Him that He put me through that trial... See what He allowed to happen to Job, one of His beloved servants..........

OK, I hope you have the strength to address yourself to God in prayer. He waits for you, and He will respond to you. Glory be to God, His Son, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit!

Dear God, Please Help us all talk/pray to You on a daily basis. Amen.

Doina

When I go through my emails I usually just delete them but I just had to respond because I was feeling so low today and when i read psalms 91 9-11 it just let's me know that he is on my side and I am not by myself this is something I've suffered with about 18 years now; i just wanted to say thank you I have something to look forward to. LIFE!!

Hello Everyone: I have found the 12 steps are a life long tool of wonderful recovery to live by. The principals set forth are simple and when one is willing for their attitude to be changed and allow these to be a part of their life great understanding above and beyond the natural thinking process takes place. God showed me a way to live above the everyday thinking of depression and self loathing. I found self centered fear is the problem. My willingness to get out of self and help others without asking in return has been the door to happiness that one day at a time I can walk through each new day into a greater understanding of things to come. I have practiced this program for 21 years now and marvel at what might be to come in my life. Being not perfect and having those peskie depressive days only tells me I'm still human and "This Too Shall Pass". If you like History you'll love looking forward to tomorrow for tomorrow is future history to be explored. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change: The courage to change the things I can: And the wisdom to know the difference.
Barbara

When I am in today I have not the anxiety of tomorrow. Make a list of good things to do not things to buy for yourself but things you can do for others. 1. Make a phone list and start calling a least one a day everyday and just talk to find out how they are. Don't share your poor little me's. Don't complain, brighten their day.
2. Cook something for your neighbors on both sides of the block and take it to them. Big pot of beans and sweet corn bread. Big pot of home made stew. I like to find out what they like without them knowing what I'm doing. Now that brings joy.
3. I have cleaned my neighbors flower bed out when she was gone. Put their trash can back up to their house when they had been gone all day after the trash men had emptyed it.
4. Homicide or sucide isn't the answer. Don't hurt people who love you that means make yourself useful. How do you do this. Start today with your list don't tell anyone what your doing. Just do it!!!!!!

Thank you for this wonderful blog! I have to remember to take the baby steps and be reminded that it is a logical process to go through in order to take care of "unlogical" feelings! Like you said, having a mood log, getting plenty of rest, eating plenty of fruits and vegetables,etc...It's unbelievable to me-that it's so much work to take care of yourself. Some people seem to know instinctively how to do all the right things for themselves. I think it's something that must have been modeled before them...I did not see my parents taking good care of themselves, therefore I know that has a lot to do with why I struggle...It's not easy but with my Savior and His Love I know He has great things in store for my family and I! I want to be a blessing to others and have a smile on my face to show His light inside of me-I do my best to live for him every day- but along with that- I have to live for myself! He loves every single person He created and that's a fact!!!

Dear Therese, I have just recently starting reading your Beyond Blue blogs and I want to say thank you for sharing them. I am 19, a single mother, and I have found my self in an all time low. My thoughts are dangerously toxic, I find myself binge eattin, and not being able to sleep. Not healthy patterns to fall into. I love my daughter ( now 10months old) more than anything and I hate for her to grow up with a mother who is an emotional train wreck. A year ago I went through a VERY nasty separation from my fiance, who had become both verbally and somewhat physically abusive, he also tryed to kill me (with me being 7 months pregnant) and blew up my car. I went from a strong confident enthusiastic out going person to a misserable and emotionaly unstable hermit. I havent been able to find work and have had to move into my parents again who are struggling to get by even with out having me and a baby to support. Every effort I have made to get myself and my daughter out of this situtation has seemingly backfire in my face. It gives me some piece of mind to know that I am not the only person who feels this way and often goes to THAT state of mind. My mother recommended I go see a doctor and get somekind of medication. But I dont want to take some kind of pill that is going to make me not care that I cant support my daughter and just be ok with everything as it is. I long for an uncloudy day, when I can acctually get back to the confident person I was before and stand freely on my own to feet again. Reading Beyond Blue really helps me, because you know exactly what it feels like when you find yourself in THAT place. Unlike everyone else advise to just smile and smell the roses and pretend everything is just peachy and it will all just get better... I think I have been (at least to some degree) just sitting around waiting for the storm to be over .. I want to learn to dance in the rain again... Thank you for your faithfullness to Beyond Blue and us all your readers. God Bless you!

GO AHEAD AND CRY IF YOU FEEL OVERWHELMED BECAUSE YOUR STRONGEST EFFORTS HAVE NOT PROSPERED AS YOU SAW IT. THIS HAS HAPPEN TO ME MANY TIMES, A YOUNG STRONG MAN INSIDE AND OUT. I ALWAYS KNOW DEEP DOWN GOD IS DOING THIS FOR A REASON. MAYBE A REASON I DON'T UNDERSTAND OR PLAINLY BECAUSE HE LOVES ME, WANTS ME TO CHANGE OR WANTS SOMETHING TO COME OUT OF IT. I HAVE LEARNED A LITTLE BIT TO LET GO OF STRUGGLING AND SAY TO MYSELF SOMETHING LIKE IT'S MORE OR GREATER THAN ME. READING BETWEEN THE LINES, TRUST IN GOD TO GET YOU THROUGH. I BELIEVE ALL CHOICES WE MAKE HAVE ALREADY BEEN IDENTIFIED BUT STILL THE FACT REMAINS IT'S ALL CONNECTED, GOD CONTINUES TO LOVE US, SHOW US WAYS AND OPPURTUNITY'S TO THE DAY WE DIE!!!

I haven't been reading my e-mails lately.It is sometimes so hard just getting out of bed each day. I have Major Depression Disorder,PTSD and a couple of other disorders that are written without any vowels.I have been in counseling CONTINOUSLY since 1988. In all this time, I have been hospitalized several times. I find that what helps me to turn off the "little voice" in my head that says "give it up, just take all your meds, have some tequila (or whatever)and just go to sleep"is that I remember that I won't see my mom(deceased)
or my son or most of all, my husband (of 36yrs) ever again. I then say a prayer asking Jesus to help me make it through another day. I have been reading ANYTHING of Christian basis that speaks of Jesus's promise of hope if we just believe and ask for it. I also find going to church every Sunday, sitting with friends and family a BIG help to make it through the week. God Bless

I too am struggling with depression and anxiety. The anxiety is so strong that I feel disconnected from who I really am. I can identify with the comments that I have read that anxiety and depression can rob you of your will to live.
I feel so blessed in so many ways but I also feel so burdened by changes in my life that I am having difficulty finding my place. I am certain God gave me such strong abilities and talents so that I can create good and help others who may find life too difficult to handle.
But a medicine I was taking for sleep has turned on me and created
unbearable anxiety and physologial symptoms that have limited me from being all that I can be. I have become toxic and must allow time for this medicine to leave my body. All I can do is sleep and cry. I try to read uplifting material that will bring me comfort and find peace among the turmoil and I write my thoughts in my journal throughout the day when I try to express my frustration but returning to normal is a slow process. I feel so tortured, so all alone, so devasted by my losses of friendship and of a love that I thought would last a life time.
I thought returning to complete a degree would be so good for me but the stress and the effects of the medicine have stopped me in my tracks. Now I truly do not know where I belong. I pray that in a few days when this medicine is out of my system that my world will return to a place of peace and safety where I can begin to find myself and I can get back on the path where I know God wants me. In the meantime I will continue to seek comfort in the tools provided on this site and feel thankful that such a wonderful resource is available.