Dear God: Come, All Who Are Weary

Reading this just reafirmed to me how patient our God is. God doesn't give up. Like Butt Prints In The Sand, He carries us to the point where we realize it is time to take action with His hand guiding us, and even carrying us while we keep our focus on Him. Your words here humble me, grateful God did not give up on either of us.

Thank God, literally, for those "God moments"--times when you're at the end of your rope and suddenly "mysteriously" here appears someone or something (the statue of Jesus) or words to help us see a glimmer of hope and help us realize that God has not left us.

I remember the first time I went to the hospital for a mental illness-related problem. I was pretty near hysterical. (crying) I sat in the triage area and running across the computer screen were the words, "Be Still and Know that I Am" Wow! God was right there in that room with me. That was His sign. It was so comforting. This is from Psalm 46:10. I now have a bracelet with those words on it.

I'm so thankful to whomever erected that statue at John Hopkins because that helped you know that you weren't alone and that you were going to get through this. And because you are constantly working on getting through life, you have richly blessed so many people.

Valerie

Our friendship is going to a new level therese...now we're mind reading.

I'm going to pop right back to the BB group and start the idea that I layed awake mulling over at 4:30 a.m.....

(we've been doing a lot of letter writing on T's support group chat thread)

These letters are going to be:

"Dear Medical System,"

Here's mine:

Dear Southern Ohio Medical System,

Just want to let you know that my children are not birdies in a badmiten game. They come from Good Solid German/Irish/English stock and we play to win around here.

It is one thing for you to try and outbowl, out croquet and failingly bounce pass my mother and father in law. They were pretty old when we had to say goodbye, but it would seem that since you have predicted that my son will be well over 6 feet at my age and is a bit aggressive that you take a bit more care to help organize his care. You will be lucky if he serves you because he is smart, sweet and his toof finally came out this week.

Just a suggestion: people are not sports equipment.

I'll do what I can to continue backing you up with a smile.

No promises without another cup of Joe to rot my stomach for you.

Sincerely,

Kate

So is this to say in retrospect, Therese, you think you were going through not just clinical depression but a Blessed Mother Teresa-style "dark night of the soul"?

No wonder even your beloved Eric couldn't reach you :-(

I recently read a priest's reflection on this gospel and he said that the "yoke" is not a harnass but a co-sharing in the redemptive work of Jesus.

therese,
Been out of commission with a migraine, so I am just catching up on your blog. You know my stance on God/Jesus--I'm an earth-based kind of girl, but I know you could relate to this story...

My second suicide attempt was not immediately severe enough to put me in the hospital. My husband came home to find me bleeding all over the bathroom, but with my first aid training and virtually all the butterfly bandages in the house, we "fixed me up". He told me we had to go to the hospital. I refused. Both of us felt very scared. Each of us completely alone as we cleaned the bathroom and then held each other.

The next morning, he said we needed to go for a drive. And what a drive it was. He drove me from Ohio to Virginia Beach, checked us into a hotel on the waterfront, and walked me out to the beach. We sat there for a moment. It was cold and the air was damp, no spring-breakers, the beach was completely empty. Watching the waves, I felt everything well up inside me and started sobbing. I sat in the sand, arms wrapped around my knees, mascara staining my jeans, and my husband sitting beside me, legs outstretched and arm over my shoulders. I gave it all: the pain, my pride, my silly insistence that I could do it 'on my own' to the breakers crashing onto that empty beach.

After about an hour, as I started to compose myself and breathe he said, "I hoped the ocean would help you see." We went to dinner that night, drove home the next day, and the following morning I checked into the hospital.