I started a discussion thread at Group Beyond Blue at Beliefnet Community where we can tackle one of our problems and come up with creative solutions. Here is my post:

As you’ll see in Thursday’s post, I’m trying to transform my panic and sadness into concrete steps of action, so I don’t feel so overwhelmed. I’ve been using worksheets that I explain tomorrow, that you can download from www.lifespanpress.com. They are targeted toward identifying problems in kids, and logging the behavior. But I have found them helpful for myself as well.

For example:

Problem/Behavior: I cried yesterday after I picked up David from camp and learned he was disrespectful to the camp counselors. I immediately internalized it and told myself I must be a terrible mom.

Setting Event (what contributes long term to the problem): I am very fragile, and because of my bipolar disorder and anxiety problems, get frazzled very easily. I presently have too much going on, and am not getting enough mental-health breaks. Also, being raised in an alcoholic family, I didn’t learn skills to assert myself that are needed as a parent (to be consistent and firm as a disciplinarian). I tend to take messages like these and blow them out of proportion, thinking that he will become a drug dealer in two years. Also, I do think the two years of my crying impacted the kids in a negative way–and disciplining them now will be even more difficult in light in those years.

Antecedent (what came right before I started crying): I went home to check my e-mail and while I was there, Katherine was acting up for the sitter. So I was already feeling deflated.

Consequence: I told the sitter to give Katherine a time-out if she continued her behavior, and I took away all TV and video games from David until I get a good report from camp. I logged in their behavior and my discipline strategy to try to keep it consistent, and so that I have data to show a specialist when I pursue that. I also made sure that I had one hour the next day for quiet, mental-health time for me.

List one of your problems and try to come up with some specific solutions. Does it make you feel better?

To read more Beyond Blue, go to www.beliefnet.com/beyondblue, and to get to Group Beyond Blue, a support group at Beliefnet Community, click here.