Suicide: Premeditated Versus Impulsive
Thursday July 10, 2008
Categories: Depression, Mental Health
Thanks to Beyond Blue reader Larry Parker for forwarding me the piece, "The Urge to End It All," published in last Sunday's New York Time magazine. It was quite timely for me because I spent the majority of my...
Filed Under: Amtrak, Beyond Blue, depression, depression blog, mental illness, premeditated suicide, suicide, suicide attempts, suicide survivors, Therese Borchard
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This was a remarkable article.
BTW, Elton John's song "Someone Saved My Life Last Night" was about his own attempt to commit a "coal gas" suicide in the late 1960s.
Great article and good insights into a situation that many people go through but don't want to talk about. I went through this in a very serious way that made me wonder how I could ever have felt so much pain without going over the edge, but it did bring me to a greater awareness of God's love for me and the world. I have begun a new journey into a place that will hopefully benefit me and others.
I read this article and was glad for this info into killing oneself. I have premediated at least 10 scenerios and who would find my body. I don't want a loved one to find me, so I have plans on how to contact the proper folks. As I understand, I will most likely commit suicide on an impulse. This is truly because living is too painful. I just want to stop feeling SAD AND USELESS. I love to read the book, "My Beautiful Broken Shell." I try hard to feel less broken but a life time of depression, even with medications and talking, I still feel broken.
I'm glad I wrote this because maybe it's time I let others know, so I don't have the pity party alone.
Great article.
I wonder...did the Amtrak driver or Anderson ever feel suicidal in their life?
I ask only because while the insights and research is interesting, it doesn't bring out the feelings of the suicidal people as much as I thought it might. The impulsive vs premeditated...there's no doubt there are both kinds, but are they necessarily connected to the method that is used? Or more likely connected to the inner workings of the victim's mind and/or spirit?
As someone who has dealt with numerous close friends, students and family who have attempted (and some who have succeeded) suicide and a survivor of attempts myself, methods listed here that are considered "impulsive" can definitely be premeditated and vice versa. But those that were premeditated and pulled a trigger knew exactly what was going to happen and were ready for it. Those who impulsively took pills knew what might happen and rolled the dice.
Thanks for sharing, Therese and Larry.
I've never posted, to SAD and USELESS...
There's so many of us that feel this way most of the time, but always remember you are not alone., and thank you for making me feel better. Sometimes the weight of the world on our shoulders is heavy on our souls. We think the easy way out is, suicide because all you feel is pain and hurt. You wait, pray, and hope it goes away... sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn't, it lingers and it feels like forever...
All I know is I read your post and felt your sadness, hang in there keep your chin up because your life is valued. Sending you good vibes and to all who needs them.
I've shared before that one of my son's best friends committed suicide(by hanging when they were just thirteen.. One of the profound things the minister who officiated at M's funeral said to al of the young people there was thatM was BOT a hero, that he had CHOSEN a PERMANENTsolution to a temporary problem No one ever truly knew what the problem WAS, on the surface he had a comparatively "good" life: Athletic, popular, handsome, a two-parent and ffluent family. One of the lessons his suicide taught me is that we can never really know through observation alone how happy--or, conversely, unhappy--another individual is. Quite clearly, the observable and superficial, I might add, trappings of his life weren't fulfilling enough to him. Tragically,M's suicide ended up being the first of a"suicide epidemic" in our community; three others followed suit soon thereafter (They weren't necessarily fiemds of M's, either. Two didn't even attend the same school!(It was a fairly large community with three middle schools and two high schools) M left no note explaining his actions, something I learned is more typical than most of us think. Even his best buddies had no idea why he was so unhappy although he had mentioned considering suicide to several of them about a week prior at a party (in OUR home!) Unfortunately, with the lack of wisdom that most thirteen year olds have, his confessors(including my son) believed they had "talked him out of it" and mentioned nothing to an adult until AFTER his father found him hanging in their pole barn one evening.
Very good article!
Regarding "Someone Saved My Life Tonight," Elton John wrote it about being saved from marrying his girlfriend in 1969. Though he was also suicidal at the time, he credits Long John Baldry as saving his life by preventing him from marrying and abandoning his musical career, not specifically killing himself.
"They were in spiritual agony, and they sought a physical solution." according to Anderson. I would have thought that remark would have pushed one of your buttons Therese.
As I listened to the NPR report on the article, I believe Anderson also stated that many mental health professionals were comfortable with the "post hoc rationalization" that suicide was the result of deeply-rooted mental health problems, whether seen as "impulsive" by the public or not. I have conversed with many such mental health professionals as well as preachers and other "enlightened" gurus who deflect any responsibility for their incompetence -- in their treatment of a person in crisis -- with post hoc rationalization.
Life is a gift huh? Well that's what the kids call the burning bags of poop they leave on the welcome mat: a "gift". Does that mean the receiver needs to embrace it and hang onto it as long as possible?
An acceptable quality of life to one may not be so acceptable to another. It's wonderful when we can make lemonade out of lemons. Not so wonderful to be a lactose-intolerant dairy farmer whose main compensation is leftover sour milk returned (for credit) by the happy customers.
Lastly, survivors Anderson interviewed may be reluctant to share any residual suicidal feelings because such an admission could have terrible consequences on the remaining quality of their life, especially if they're trying to "fake it till they make it."
To Rochelle who connected with my SAD and USELESS life. Thanks for sending the good vibes, sure hope it works. Summer is my favorite season BUT here I sit, not going out. I love my gardens BUT I only see them thru windows and doors. Yes, I do go out for social or church events. My heart doesn't feel happy and it's breaking right now. My 3 adult children do many things with their young kids, because they say it is their family. The siblings do things together so the cousins are close. That is great; family is what life is all about. Aside from God, of course. We had a wonderful relationship but they cut me no slack now. They are always picking apart everything I say or do. There are LOTS OF PEOPLE THAT ACTUALLY LIKE ME. But I can't just be myself around my family. I ask them if I can be included in a trip to the zoo or pool. I like spending time with grandkids.........it happens only when I sit so their parents can go out. I love taking pictures of them as they are playing, it's like seeing the world thru their young eyes. They are old enough to play games or do art projects. I bring odds and ends with construction paper. The kids just LOVE the time we just make things that they it. The parents barely look at the finished artwork AND I never see them on the frig. I asked about some and they don't even remember seeing them. My kids lived with my depression and I know they are all prone to the same thing. Yet, they don't take this into consideration when it comes to me. I know, I know........I'm looking for "THE PERFECT WORLD."
I'm learning to "LET IT GO............MOVE FORWARD...........AND THIS TWO SHALL PASS." God is seeing me thru all times BUT I'M NOT SURE HE CAN CHANGE MY MIND ABOUT CHECKING OUT EARLY. I am in my 60's so it's not like I would be dying too young.
Thanks again Rochelle, sorry I wrote so much, but it feels good to have others understand. And I know this group sure get the whole big picture.
I heard a different version of the story -- what can I tell you ...
I'm almost at the end of my rope, but at least I'm not hanging by it. Right now the world is crumbling around me but "I'm still standing" another Elton John song. I feel ridiculous to be falling apart like this. How can adult children of childlike adults get sucked into the abyss? My parents are fighting like they always have but now they're getting better at it! (more vicious and petty) My older brother, who's struggling though the 12 steps, is drinking again. He is living in our NY house because he is in the middle of an ugly divorce with his wife of 33 years. ( he signed his house over to his wife because...my theory is we've been programed from early on to just give in to the alfa-female and hope that makes her happy.) NEWS FLASH...it does'nt! So he feels guilty over everything...and drowns his depression. I've been trying to "cut" mine down to size. Also not successful. My brother has suggested my Mom go to therapy. She does'nt understand why SHE should go. She's at least milder bi-polar and OCD and the penultimate victim. (Oh I don't know but maybe your children might live longer) My brother has already tried the pill solution (overdose) It's obvious to both of us that my parents are far too toxic to remain together but I'll get Mom and my brother will get Dad and neither of us will have a life of our own because of the guilt because no one can cope with "Mommie Dearest". Thanks for listening.
"I heard a different version of the story"
well, there ya go... you shoulda listened to the song.
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